FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Meeting verified members?
Meeting verified members?
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I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A verification isnt the first thing I look for, if the profile is only cock pics and or the text is rubbish puts me off more than no verifications. Also some can work against you depending on the content of the verification. Overly explicit ones can be offputting. |
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"I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated."
Laughing reading some of the replies. Every time this topic comes up people pop saying that they don't care about veris. Well there are some who don't but it is clearly going to help a lot. It is all upside and no downside.
Advice to get to socials or clubs is good but not for the veris per se but just to network and meet people. Yes you can get one-off meets with a single lady or a couple without but if you start networking and building relationships it opens up so many more possibilities. I see you mention MFF in your profile - well chances of that happening by chatting to ladies just online are probably close to zero but if you get out there socials, clubs etc. and also potentially get invited to private parites/gatherings all sorts of things are possible. You can lose track of how many M and F's floating around at times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Laughing reading some of the replies. Every time this topic comes up people pop saying that they don't care about veris. Well there are some who don't but it is clearly going to help a lot. It is all upside and no downside.
"
Actually not everyone is interested is 'prick advisor' type verifications, some can be pretty offputting so it's not all upside.  |
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Op, if you fancy a pint (nothing else) I'm in Kidderminster on 13th July then I could verify that you are at least real should you wish. I've had a club meet verification but if I'm honest it hasn't really made a lot of difference. Clubs however I've found can be quite good or very clique depending on the social mix of the night I do find getting into clubs as a single male quite difficult though, most limit the number (fair enough) and many others don't bother responding to emails.  |
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Laughing reading some of the replies. Every time this topic comes up people pop saying that they don't care about veris. Well there are some who don't but it is clearly going to help a lot. It is all upside and no downside.
Actually not everyone is interested is 'prick advisor' type verifications, some can be pretty offputting so it's not all upside. "
Well that's true with some of them but it's pretty rare. I will update my statement "upside of having a few decent veris far outweighs any potential downside" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Laughing reading some of the replies. Every time this topic comes up people pop saying that they don't care about veris. Well there are some who don't but it is clearly going to help a lot. It is all upside and no downside.
Actually not everyone is interested is 'prick advisor' type verifications, some can be pretty offputting so it's not all upside.
Well that's true with some of them but it's pretty rare. I will update my statement "upside of having a few decent veris far outweighs any potential downside" "
Great if it's working for you but laughing at those who dont agree could maybe be kept to yourself. |
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Laughing reading some of the replies. Every time this topic comes up people pop saying that they don't care about veris. Well there are some who don't but it is clearly going to help a lot. It is all upside and no downside.
Actually not everyone is interested is 'prick advisor' type verifications, some can be pretty offputting so it's not all upside.
Well that's true with some of them but it's pretty rare. I will update my statement "upside of having a few decent veris far outweighs any potential downside"
Great if it's working for you but laughing at those who dont agree could maybe be kept to yourself. "
Apologies if you took it personally. I wasn't laughing at individuals. I was laughing at the repeated pattern of this discussion. This topic comes up a lot and the comments that follow are always similar. I guess lots of Forum is like that - read the first post and can predict what is coming next |
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Thank you all for taking the time to reply. It's good to see the mix of responses.
Socials are the way to go and as I'm new / not experienced in the scene it would be good to meet people socially.
I'll keep my eye out for local socials. |
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Looked at this.
Also the best advice is to improve your profile.
Blank profiles are the worst, on any application. If you don't stand out your just not going to be taken seriously.
Just a thought. Hopefully everyone could take a hint on this. |
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By *omtom7Man
over a year ago
Tralee |
"Looked at this.
Also the best advice is to improve your profile.
Blank profiles are the worst, on any application. If you don't stand out your just not going to be taken seriously.
Just a thought. Hopefully everyone could take a hint on this."
Profile pics like yours won't hurt your chances  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all fairness, I doubt that it's your lack of verifications that is holding you back, however, since you haven't specifically asked for profile advice, I'm not permitted to give any.
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"In all fairness, I doubt that it's your lack of verifications that is holding you back, however, since you haven't specifically asked for profile advice, I'm not permitted to give any.
"
Happy to receive profile advice, as in fairness I never really know what to put. |
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Tbh Verifications mean nothing to us on here now, have been let down by just as many who were verified as who were not. In fact our last meet had some really good verifications, just a pity his pictures were at least 10 years out of date, and he didn't understand the word no or what our limits were, even though he was told them from the start.
We're now having a break from meeting and seriously reconsidering if we want to carry on with it at all |
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"I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated."
It's the old vicious circle. Most people won't meet anyone who hasn't got a meet verification, but you can't get a meet verification unless soneobe does meet you.
I'm in the same boat. Been a member on here for a year I've looked at profiles that I am attracted to, but it states they won't meet anyone with no meet veri's.
If people won't give us a chance, it's impossible to get the meet verification that so many people on here require. |
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"I'm not thinking it will.
But most people say they won't reply to none verified. So already it makes talking too and making a connection with people hard "
It's nigh on impossible on here for single guys to start with, yet there is the added brick wall of not being able to experience a meet because we don't have any meet verifications. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"I'm not thinking it will.
But most people say they won't reply to none verified. So already it makes talking too and making a connection with people hard
It's nigh on impossible on here for single guys to start with, yet there is the added brick wall of not being able to experience a meet because we don't have any meet verifications. "
It's not a brick wall it's the choice of the other party . We should respect their choice . The other party has a good reason for it . Go to socials instead and meet swingers there .You will find it's a much more satisfying experience than trying to use the fab messaging service |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I'm not thinking it will.
But most people say they won't reply to none verified. So already it makes talking too and making a connection with people hard
It's nigh on impossible on here for single guys to start with, yet there is the added brick wall of not being able to experience a meet because we don't have any meet verifications. "
And yet literally every single single male profile you see with verifications started out their fab life as an unverified single male.
Uncanny.......
A |
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"Just to clarify, verifications won’t open the sex floodgates, contrary the popular belief. "
I agree, and in some cases, verifications can be a cock-blocker…..
Interesting point to note; I went to a swinger club on Friday night, as many people recommend a single guy should do, to get verified, and only one couple actually had a profile in Fab! Everyone else I spoke to there only use the club to meet others  |
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"Just to clarify, verifications won’t open the sex floodgates, contrary the popular belief.
I agree, and in some cases, verifications can be a cock-blocker…..
Interesting point to note; I went to a swinger club on Friday night, as many people recommend a single guy should do, to get verified, and only one couple actually had a profile in Fab! Everyone else I spoke to there only use the club to meet others "
Yes clubs/parties not perfect for veris but you met people
Another example. A single man we know been on here maybe 6 months and didn't get anywhere. He then went to a pub social where he met me and my partner - got veris from us and a few others. He went to another pub social somewhere else couple of months later and got some more and met some more people. Still no sex but quite a few veris and networking. We invited him to a house party this weekend where he got veris but more importantly sex with several ladies, MFF and group fun. He could be trying on here for years to have MFF and would have very little chance. He has also got an invite to another club party not normally open to single men where quite possibly more fun. Moral of the story - if you get out there and network, talk to people, don't be a dick, be positive, etc. then things will happen. (and no he is not some 30 year old stud, good looking, ripped with a huge cock - normalish guy around 50) |
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"I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated.
It's the old vicious circle. Most people won't meet anyone who hasn't got a meet verification, but you can't get a meet verification unless soneobe does meet you.
I'm in the same boat. Been a member on here for a year I've looked at profiles that I am attracted to, but it states they won't meet anyone with no meet veri's.
If people won't give us a chance, it's impossible to get the meet verification that so many people on here require. "
This is why we won't meet unverified people. To us if you've been on over a year without a single trip to a social or club to get verified then chances of you turning up to a meet are low.
Getting to a social is easy plenty in the forums even club events where you don't have to be a member. You may even get to interact with actual swingers too. |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
A verification is a catch 22. Without one you are unlikely to have a meet. Or so it seems. You could go to socials, there weren't any when I first started or you could go to a club. Many guys find clubs daunting, I for example don't want to be lumped in with the wanking dead. You could try a cam verification, but they don't work for me as they don't tell you someone will actually meet and I want to meet.
I met a single female for a social, we never played but she left me a verification. Then I met a couple who never left one. Probably I had around 20 verifications from a mix of single females and couples. All from messaging and meeting via fab. A verification can also work against you. A will not meet you because you have met B.
Just be yourself, message appropriately and sensibly and maybe someone will meet you even without a verification. There are many more men in here than couples and single females combined, I imagine. Have no expectations and remember there is always someone who can offer something different or more than you can. But as someone else has said a verification won't change the mind of those who aren't interested in you or what you can offer. |
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"I’d love to go to a social but none currently in SW on forum search and a club is quite daunting on your own..
Bristol social ?"
Errmmm I’m a man so naturally I did a general sw search…. And geography is not my strong point but seeing as you took the time to point that out I shall look…. Thank you |
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"A verification is a catch 22. Without one you are unlikely to have a meet. Or so it seems. You could go to socials, there weren't any when I first started or you could go to a club. Many guys find clubs daunting, I for example don't want to be lumped in with the wanking dead. You could try a cam verification, but they don't work for me as they don't tell you someone will actually meet and I want to meet.
I met a single female for a social, we never played but she left me a verification. Then I met a couple who never left one. Probably I had around 20 verifications from a mix of single females and couples. All from messaging and meeting via fab. A verification can also work against you. A will not meet you because you have met B.
Just be yourself, message appropriately and sensibly and maybe someone will meet you even without a verification. There are many more men in here than couples and single females combined, I imagine. Have no expectations and remember there is always someone who can offer something different or more than you can. But as someone else has said a verification won't change the mind of those who aren't interested in you or what you can offer. "
Very well said.. |
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"I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated.
It's the old vicious circle. Most people won't meet anyone who hasn't got a meet verification, but you can't get a meet verification unless soneobe does meet you.
I'm in the same boat. Been a member on here for a year I've looked at profiles that I am attracted to, but it states they won't meet anyone with no meet veri's.
If people won't give us a chance, it's impossible to get the meet verification that so many people on here require.
This is why we won't meet unverified people. To us if you've been on over a year without a single trip to a social or club to get verified then chances of you turning up to a meet are low.
Getting to a social is easy plenty in the forums even club events where you don't have to be a member. You may even get to interact with actual swingers too."
I'm not interested in going to clubs or large socials,but I am more than happy to meet for a one on one social for a coffee or bite to eat in a public place to see if there is a spark and attraction. I suppose everyone is different. That dosnt make me any less likely to turn up for a meet than someone with loads of meet verifications, it just means I am not one for going to clubs or large socials.
With the upmost of respect, just because I am not comfortable with going to a club or large social, why does that make me any less likely to turn up for an arranged meet.?
After a year on here, with zero interest or experience of a meet, and despite updating my profile and photos regularly, sadly I seem to be hitting a brick wall because I am not interested in going to swingers clubs, or large socials.
Maybe my stance on clubs will means I will never be lucky enough to experience and enjoy a meet on Fab, who knows.
But I welcome your feedback none the less.
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I'm not interested in going to clubs or large socials,but I am more than happy to meet for a one on one social for a coffee or bite to eat in a public place to see if there is a spark and attraction. I suppose everyone is different. That dosnt make me any less likely to turn up for a meet than someone with loads of meet verifications, it just means I am not one for going to clubs or large socials.
With the upmost of respect, just because I am not comfortable with going to a club or large social, why does that make me any less likely to turn up for an arranged meet.?
After a year on here, with zero interest or experience of a meet, and despite updating my profile and photos regularly, sadly I seem to be hitting a brick wall because I am not interested in going to swingers clubs, or large socials.
Maybe my stance on clubs will means I will never be lucky enough to experience and enjoy a meet on Fab, who knows.
But I welcome your feedback none the less.
"
You’ve asked for feedback, so here we go - I’ve not been looking at the forums for that long, but I’ve noticed that you are a fairly prolific poster of quite negative ‘it’s impossible for single guys’ type posts on threads on that topic.
Maybe ladies local to you have noticed similar.
I really hope this helps and doesn’t come across as too harsh - but in general, a positive outlook and a good profile is what we’re looking for, I would say.
Verifications are less important to me (but a photo veri from the site is a minimum if there are no meet ones.) |
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"I seem to be in a difficult situation, where by people want to only meet verified members. But until I have a meet with a verified member I don't get verified.
I've had one meet since joining, but they were not verified. So unable to verify each other.
Anyone have any tips? Would it be better to lose the nerves and go to a club, so as people meet you in person socially and go from there?
Any advice appreciated.
It's the old vicious circle. Most people won't meet anyone who hasn't got a meet verification, but you can't get a meet verification unless soneobe does meet you.
I'm in the same boat. Been a member on here for a year I've looked at profiles that I am attracted to, but it states they won't meet anyone with no meet veri's.
If people won't give us a chance, it's impossible to get the meet verification that so many people on here require.
This is why we won't meet unverified people. To us if you've been on over a year without a single trip to a social or club to get verified then chances of you turning up to a meet are low.
Getting to a social is easy plenty in the forums even club events where you don't have to be a member. You may even get to interact with actual swingers too.
I'm not interested in going to clubs or large socials,but I am more than happy to meet for a one on one social for a coffee or bite to eat in a public place to see if there is a spark and attraction. I suppose everyone is different. That dosnt make me any less likely to turn up for a meet than someone with loads of meet verifications, it just means I am not one for going to clubs or large socials.
With the upmost of respect, just because I am not comfortable with going to a club or large social, why does that make me any less likely to turn up for an arranged meet.?
After a year on here, with zero interest or experience of a meet, and despite updating my profile and photos regularly, sadly I seem to be hitting a brick wall because I am not interested in going to swingers clubs, or large socials.
Maybe my stance on clubs will means I will never be lucky enough to experience and enjoy a meet on Fab, who knows.
But I welcome your feedback none the less.
"
Well not having veris, even social ones, does mean you are less likely to turn up than somebody who has got a few. That is not you individually but just the overall situation. If people have limited time and not sure who to meet for many that will be a factor. It is also not just about turning up but verifying what kind of person you are.
Saying that not everybody cares about veris and everybody started with nothing on here. I went years meeting people here without ever going to a group social, party, club etc so don't give up hope. Just be positive, fun and keep plugging away. The negative comments won't do you any favours. Best of luck. |
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