FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Just can’t get a meet
Just can’t get a meet
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By *ice80085 OP Man
over a year ago
Billingham |
Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance |
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"Bathroom cock pic, screams hiding from other half to take pic. Nothing exciting or enticing in bio. 1 cock pic on profile, can't accom. Your ticking most of everyones no boxes. "
This, very much so! Even if I was meeting, I would not be interested, sorry. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Well you only have one photo with your cock hanging over the sink would you find it appealing I suggest browse the photo gallery for inspiration
Write a decent amount within your bio start of little about yourself then your interests. what's brought you here as in searching for type of people any kinks if any ten see how you go.... |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Well you only have one photo with your cock hanging over the sink would you find it appealing I suggest browse the photo gallery for inspiration
Write a decent amount within your bio start of little about yourself then your interests. what's brought you here as in searching for type of people any kinks if any ten see how you go...."
Also you've written more on your post then your own bio so you're able to achieve this and be creative |
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I am firm believer that for the most part you get out what you put in. Your profile suggests very little effort  The profile bio is almost non existent and the one photo is lazy. The lack of verifications would also suggest that you haven't been along to any social events to make connections.
Too many people seem expect to create a profile, send a few messages and they'll have sex on tap |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I am firm believer that for the most part you get out what you put in. Your profile suggests very little effort The profile bio is almost non existent and the one photo is lazy. The lack of verifications would also suggest that you haven't been along to any social events to make connections.
Too many people seem expect to create a profile, send a few messages and they'll have sex on tap "
Sensibly buy a tap then the world is your oyster  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
Welcome to the forums. 
Women love it when a man washes his cock in the sink before a fuck.
How many people did you meet as a couple? |
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You're not selling yourself, in part by delivering what your target audience is needing. If you don't hint by your contact that you understand us, then we'll probably assume that you won't be able to satisfy us either.
Go to clubs and socials, get back on the scene. Reflect again on what we need and how you can demonstrate this, without being spoon fed. |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
When you were part of a couple, would you have replied to your profile?
What would the two of you looked for in a single male profile? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
You've got one pic on your profile with your cock hanging over a sink...and one sentence in your bio. To me, you've made absolutely no effort to stand out. Get some more pics uploaded, add some text to your bio about who you are and what you're looking for...if you just come on here having made no effort when you're in an already crowded pool of single men, then I'm not sure what you expected. People aren't just going to throw themselves at you lol. Add some pics, add some bio, start chatting to people who interest you and then see how you get on. Good luck.
Mrs |
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"95% of men on here struggle to meet so you're not the only one. I've yet to meet anyone after being here for 6-7 months now"
Took me 7 years to get a meet and nothing in the almost 8 years since, so be prepared for a long wait.
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(Mr)
First week on Fab, got on webcams and got my first veri.
By week 2 I was in a club, got chatting to a nice couple, got invited to a room.
Nobody will come to get you, you need to get out and put yourself in front of people. |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
Competition, there is a lot of competition for single men. Couples and single can if they want be as picky as they choose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I would take one look at your profile pic and delete your message without reading it.
If you are serious about wanting to meet someone then start with a complete overhaul of your profile.
We can’t all be wrong.
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"95% of men on here struggle to meet so you're not the only one. I've yet to meet anyone after being here for 6-7 months now Took me 7 years to get a meet and nothing in the almost 8 years since, so be prepared for a long wait."
Another thing to take into account,is the amount of women on here who will let you down,stab you in the back,treat you like shit,etc. That's something else guys have against them.
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You've got to be able to stand out from the crowd, and with the greatest of reapect your profile just doesn't do that.
If I received a message you'd fall into the
'not worth reading'
Category.
Give your profile a shake up, add a better profile picture, put some effort into your bio and when you send the initial message put some thought and effort into it.
Women need mental stimulation as well as physical, keep that inind when messaging etc.
Get yourself to a club or on cams to kick start your verifications and you may have a little more luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
it's also because there are too many abusive guys on here, sending disrespectful messages to females, and sending cock pics all the time and saying "fancy a fuck?" Things like that just ruin it for all the other guys who are actually trying to get a sensible conversation and then seeing where that goes. But these other guy's who send offensive messages like that are just trying their luck. But messing it up for polite guy's here. So I don't blame women for not wanting to reply anymore! It's nice when they do tho, even if it is to let you down too. Shows respect on their part. So if you do get a reply guy's, be polite and friendly and respectful ok!
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
You already have plenty of feedback above to digest so I won't add to it.
Maybe set aside a couple of hours to work on your profile.
There is a good guide here
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/51490 |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance it's also because there are too many abusive guys on here, sending disrespectful messages to females, and sending cock pics all the time and saying "fancy a fuck?" Things like that just ruin it for all the other guys who are actually trying to get a sensible conversation and then seeing where that goes. But these other guy's who send offensive messages like that are just trying their luck. But messing it up for polite guy's here. So I don't blame women for not wanting to reply anymore! It's nice when they do tho, even if it is to let you down too. Shows respect on their part. So if you do get a reply guy's, be polite and friendly and respectful ok!"
Men who behave like dicks don't ruin it for nice guys, they make them stand out more. |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance it's also because there are too many abusive guys on here, sending disrespectful messages to females, and sending cock pics all the time and saying "fancy a fuck?" Things like that just ruin it for all the other guys who are actually trying to get a sensible conversation and then seeing where that goes. But these other guy's who send offensive messages like that are just trying their luck. But messing it up for polite guy's here. So I don't blame women for not wanting to reply anymore! It's nice when they do tho, even if it is to let you down too. Shows respect on their part. So if you do get a reply guy's, be polite and friendly and respectful ok!
Men who behave like dicks don't ruin it for nice guys, they make them stand out more."
This is so true and the people complaining about not being to meet anybody would still struggle even if 90% of the men on this site disappeared.
Personally also there is something very impersonal and non-sexy about the term "get a meet" and if messages are like that then no surprise struggling. Even in swinging world people most people want to feel a connection, a little wanted, like a sexy human being and not just the object of "a meet". |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
Try an organised social. Go to clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest OP if you had sent a message to my couples profile we wouldn't meet either... you definately need to work on your profile, bad pic/bio = delete
Work on pic/bio and it may just work for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men need to realise this is a swingers site, not a dating site!
Once you've worked that bit out, you can then work on your profile."
What's the difference? |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance"
If you’ve been here a few years mate, you should be able to construct a better profile than you have, and also have some idea of what couples respond to, having previously been a couple in here, and no doubts received good and bad messages from good, and less than good single male profiles.
Also, if you do have “old friends” in here, perhaps contact them, and ask them to verify you as a decent guy?
The sink cock pic is truly awful. Sorry if this sounds harsh. Put a suit on, the ladies love a guy in a suit   |
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance
If you’ve been here a few years mate, you should be able to construct a better profile than you have, and also have some idea of what couples respond to, having previously been a couple in here, and no doubts received good and bad messages from good, and less than good single male profiles.
Also, if you do have “old friends” in here, perhaps contact them, and ask them to verify you as a decent guy?
The sink cock pic is truly awful. Sorry if this sounds harsh. Put a suit on, the ladies love a guy in a suit "
All I can think is I hope he washed the sink after... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys. Hoping for some help here please. Been on this site for a few years now. Previously as part of a couple but now as a single male. Problem is, I just can’t seem to get a meet. Can someone please tell me where I’m going wrong? I’m polite, never pushy, not ugly (ask me mam lol) not repulsive and very attentive. Thanks in advance it's also because there are too many abusive guys on here, sending disrespectful messages to females, and sending cock pics all the time and saying "fancy a fuck?" Things like that just ruin it for all the other guys who are actually trying to get a sensible conversation and then seeing where that goes. But these other guy's who send offensive messages like that are just trying their luck. But messing it up for polite guy's here. So I don't blame women for not wanting to reply anymore! It's nice when they do tho, even if it is to let you down too. Shows respect on their part. So if you do get a reply guy's, be polite and friendly and respectful ok!
Men who behave like dicks don't ruin it for nice guys, they make them stand out more."
I completely agree.
It worries me that we have become a society where nobody takes responsibility for anything these days, always wanting to pass the buck, blame someone else. It's everywhere.
Here's a thought.
You can either attribute your lack of progress / success to the behaviour of others and resign yourself to the concept of being powerless to do anything about it
or
Take responsibility for your own life and actions and realise that you are the only one who can do anything to change the outcome.
Effort in = rewards out.
Unfortunately OP, your profile demostrates a complete lack of effort.
Anyone you contact will take one look at it and make the leap that you'll apply a similar level of effort to a meet.
You've had plenty of good advice - though none of us can actually give you any profile advice since you haven't explictly asked for it.
You can either take the well meaning comments on board and make some changes, or do nothing and continue to struggle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"4 days in and still no improvement on OP profile. Tut, tut  "
It’s really frustrating when so many take time to offer advice and not only is it ignored but the OP doesn’t even bother to respond on his own thread  |
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Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. |
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"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
If you check out profiles of men with plenty of veris, you'd be surprised how wrong your statement is. However, all those men have one thing in common- they made some effort! If not online, through their profiles, then in person, by attending organised socials or clubs. They "put themselves out there" instead of just complaining they're too tall/too short/too skinny/too fat/too far/too near/too well endowed/not well endowed enough etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
I’m sorry I disagree.
For many people who are, as you’ve put looking for sex outside of a relationship, also want to be made to feel wanted. That someone listens to them.
This is not always the case but for me I’ve had far better meetings based upon a social and a laugh and a connection than being hung anywhere near like a horse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
How do you know what women want ? |
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By *4G-GBBukCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
Would you like some salt and vinegar for that massive (and incorrect) chip on your shoulder? |
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By *rDJ40Man
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
I beg to differ, go check my veris, I go out to socials and clubs to meet people. You get as much back from Fab as the effort you’re willing to put in. |
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You're not alone, fella. I've seen post like yours a number of times. Rarely do I get ladies messaging me on this, and my profile is semi decent I think....(could be well wrong tho lol)
Firstly you have to remember sites like these have way more men than than women. Way more. So the ladies have a lot more choice. So don't be discouraged or disheartened.
Secondly, like most might say, you have to have a pretty good profile about you (not just about what your after sex wise), and that includes decent pics.
Had a look at yours and the only pic is with you willy out over a sink. I've seen so many posts from ladies saying its an 'ick' for them.
I'm on this very casually. I don't have expectations, as it can lead to disappointment.
I reckon if you improve your profile description, get some decent pics in, even you dressed up smartly. You'll have more luck
That's my 2 cents |
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3 weeks, a whole theme park of good advice and nothing has changed.
If you ask for advice but don't listen, then...
What is the fucking point?
.
More than that, if people offer good advice and it gets ignored, what is the likelihood people will continue to try and be helpful?
.
Handy tip, sort your profile, go to clubs, or just close the account. |
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Don’t take it personally and maybe hit up some local events/sex clubs (apply early though as single male spaces are usually limited)
Thanks to all for the usual tips and tricks, I’m new here and I’m going to update my profile and pictures accordingly |
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I think that those who have good pics and profile text yet can't get a meet should face the possibility that they don't come across as nice people once they get chatting and that's why no-one wants to meet them. Just a thought...
Frank
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First good luck OP.
It's also worth remembering that there is a proportion of people on here who are either
A) on here for there own ego boost and wouldn't meet regardless
B) massive amount of dick heads. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, I'm really not surprised you have not had any meets. You posted this week's ago, you have received very good advice, a lot of which takes very little effort.
I've just looked expecting a revamped profile and by the looks of it you've taken no advice on board
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"To be honest, I'm really not surprised you have not had any meets. You posted this week's ago, you have received very good advice, a lot of which takes very little effort.
I've just looked expecting a revamped profile and by the looks of it you've taken no advice on board
"
^ this! |
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"I think that those who have good pics and profile text yet can't get a meet should face the possibility that they don't come across as nice people once they get chatting and that's why no-one wants to meet them. Just a thought...
Frank
"
I've found Having a detailed profile, and up to date pics has made zero difference, and hasn't given me the opportunity to chat with anyone for them to see my personality. |
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"Unless you're hung like a horse youve no chance. When it comes to just sex alone outside of relationship, girls want size whether they admit it or not. Obviously have to be good looking for them also. "
The only size I want is average, you don't speak for all women. |
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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago
Stafford |
"Hi all, reading with interest. I wouldn't mind a profile appraisal from you also - in a similar boat with 0 meets over the last two years. Thanks!"
Like what's been said above, make your own post. Or apply the same advise to your own, search the forums for advice others have been given. It's usually all the same thing. |
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If you check who is near you will see how many guys there are compared to couples and single ladies. Your profile has to be half decent. Once you have had a look at your profile start to send messages, be polite but you have to accept that you can't be every ones cup of tea. There are lots of really nice folks out there happy to meet. As most have said work on the profile to start with |
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Yes I know Im not appealing to most people in here but can't see how having your cock near a sink can be attractive to women on here? No wonder you aint getting messages let alone a meet. Maybe think about changing your profile picture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go to a club private meets are dead
Nonsense. Clubs are the worst places to be as a solo guy, certainly in my experience "
Guys that go up and chat to people, who have a laugh and are not Pushy, do very well in clubs.
Guys that just stand around, dont mingle and stand there wanking, do terrible in clubs. |
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14yrs on the site, 3 yrs as a cpl. back single now. love chatting with old friends on here nd new ppl. but i have never expected to meet anyone. iv'e asked to meet ppl, sometimes yes/sometimes no, but 100% never took for granted thats wat the site is about. i just go with the flow. wat will be, will be. am i sad for thinking this way nd being honest? |
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"Go to a club private meets are dead
Nonsense. Clubs are the worst places to be as a solo guy, certainly in my experience
Guys that go up and chat to people, who have a laugh and are not Pushy, do very well in clubs.
Guys that just stand around, dont mingle and stand there wanking, do terrible in clubs. "
While broadly true I think it depends a lot on the club, the event and vibe on that particular night. Of course people who chat, are fun, not pushy etc. can do well but really depends on the person as to whether they can do that. Some men thrive socially in that big group environment and some just hate it. It's just not them and they will do better either in smaller group settings or one on one. It's a tough one though as if things aren't working for somebody purely online after trying lots of things, the only solution is to give up or go into the real world. I think organised socials are a good compromise for many. Sex is off the table (generally) and can just relax and hopefully chat. |
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"Go to a club private meets are dead"
Of that's the case, sounds like I should delete my Fab profile now, as i have no intention of going to a club or large social. I'm more than happy to meet for a coffee in a cafe, or a pint in pub to see if there is a spark and attraction, but clubs and large socials arnt for me. |
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"Go to a club private meets are dead
Of that's the case, sounds like I should delete my Fab profile now, as i have no intention of going to a club or large social. I'm more than happy to meet for a coffee in a cafe, or a pint in pub to see if there is a spark and attraction, but clubs and large socials arnt for me. "
I agree |
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