FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Should I leave
Should I leave
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on a year and not met anyone, however I did attend a social it was ok. But don't put time restraints on meets I'd suggest clubs or and socials to help you on the way. Also fabs flooded with single guys |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club? "
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo. |
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"From my experience, everyone who leaves in a hissy fit, rejoins within weeks anyway so maybe it’s a good idea to hide your account and take a break.
Up to you OP."
hissy fit. I love it. OP, if you do leave can you stamp your feet when you do |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
. I have had a quick look at your profile.You are a single guy in your early 30’s who can accommodate which I feel are positives. I say to you what I say to most guys.For me for single guys that can’t accommodate get yourself to clubs and socials and show the other members how social and friendly you are.Give out verifications and hopefully you will be verified in return which will get you noticed. I think once members see your good verifications and the fact you can accommodate I think will work in your favour.Best of luck with whatever you decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know those times when you go to say someth8ng and then think better of it?
This should have been one of those times OP.
I completely understand your frustration but admitting to having messaged 'everyone in a 30 mile radius' is not a particularly smart move.
It screams of desperation and, to those who have received a message from you, it is unlikely to win them round as you're essentially telling them that you don't see any of them as particularly special and that you'll pretty much shag anything.
It takes most men up to about a year to get that first meet. Stop being so impayient.
Perhaps think about what your expectations were when you joined.
Fab is not dial-a-shag.
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"You know those times when you go to say someth8ng and then think better of it?
This should have been one of those times OP.
I completely understand your frustration but admitting to having messaged 'everyone in a 30 mile radius' is not a particularly smart move.
It screams of desperation and, to those who have received a message from you, it is unlikely to win them round as you're essentially telling them that you don't see any of them as particularly special and that you'll pretty much shag anything.
It takes most men up to about a year to get that first meet. Stop being so impayient.
Perhaps think about what your expectations were when you joined.
Fab is not dial-a-shag.
"
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo."
I always struggle to understand how people can feel more intimidated by the thought of attending a purely social event, much akin to just walking into a pub for the first time, and not intimidated by the notion of messaging a complete stranger in the hope of arranging sex?
The first pretty much everyone does at some point in their life, be it start a new job, join a sports club, start drinking in a new bar - where you know nobody. The second? Significantly less of the population would ever have the balls (women included) to just approach a stranger seeking sex.
Or is it just me.... 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If something isn't working, you can either change the way you do things, or put a stop to it.
I'd say, 5 months isn't a long time, and if you're quitting now, maybe you don't have the stamina. 
Shake it up, adapt your profile, change your approach, try other options, like clubs and social gatherings.
If that seems too much, maybe it isn't for you.
Only you can decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo.
I always struggle to understand how people can feel more intimidated by the thought of attending a purely social event, much akin to just walking into a pub for the first time, and not intimidated by the notion of messaging a complete stranger in the hope of arranging sex?
The first pretty much everyone does at some point in their life, be it start a new job, join a sports club, start drinking in a new bar - where you know nobody. The second? Significantly less of the population would ever have the balls (women included) to just approach a stranger seeking sex.
Or is it just me....
A"
I suppose, sometimes we have to walk in anothers shoes to understand. |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo.
I always struggle to understand how people can feel more intimidated by the thought of attending a purely social event, much akin to just walking into a pub for the first time, and not intimidated by the notion of messaging a complete stranger in the hope of arranging sex?
The first pretty much everyone does at some point in their life, be it start a new job, join a sports club, start drinking in a new bar - where you know nobody. The second? Significantly less of the population would ever have the balls (women included) to just approach a stranger seeking sex.
Or is it just me....
A"
Spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
Yes. Bye. |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo.
I always struggle to understand how people can feel more intimidated by the thought of attending a purely social event, much akin to just walking into a pub for the first time, and not intimidated by the notion of messaging a complete stranger in the hope of arranging sex?
The first pretty much everyone does at some point in their life, be it start a new job, join a sports club, start drinking in a new bar - where you know nobody. The second? Significantly less of the population would ever have the balls (women included) to just approach a stranger seeking sex.
Or is it just me....
A"
It really does depend how big your balls are |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
OP
This question has been asked so many times. But are you happy with your profile? All of it? Would you message you as a woman? Would you respond to your messages? Have you done everything you think you should like attending socials, making friends first, being a friendly person first and foremost?
It really is up to you.
But if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a million times…
Effort in= reward out.
Hope you find what you’re looking for  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are probably going to leave this site too. It simply doesn’t work. We see so many posts from single guys saying they can’t get meets, well we can’t either. It’s not you, it’s this site. The owners of this site won’t remove or prevent fake profiles as that action would drastically reduce overall numbers of users, which is the main metric of success. Love to all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are probably going to leave this site too. It simply doesn’t work. We see so many posts from single guys saying they can’t get meets, well we can’t either. It’s not you, it’s this site. The owners of this site won’t remove or prevent fake profiles as that action would drastically reduce overall numbers of users, which is the main metric of success. Love to all. "
Be a shame to lose you! x |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo.
I always struggle to understand how people can feel more intimidated by the thought of attending a purely social event, much akin to just walking into a pub for the first time, and not intimidated by the notion of messaging a complete stranger in the hope of arranging sex?
The first pretty much everyone does at some point in their life, be it start a new job, join a sports club, start drinking in a new bar - where you know nobody. The second? Significantly less of the population would ever have the balls (women included) to just approach a stranger seeking sex.
Or is it just me....
A"
Some people find it much easier to meet new people one on one or in small groups rather than big social settings. This is true for non-sexual socialising never mind where there is the added sexual element. Lots of people suggest organised socials or clubs for people struggling but these can be brutal if you are not confident in group social settings. |
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By *awty_TwoCouple
over a year ago
Near Maidstone |
"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
Yes probably, you’d be better off on POR or Tinder |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
It depends on your definition of 'luck'.
If you mean meeting a wide range of people, socialising and making some friends for life, then don't give up.
If you mean that you can't get laid, then you might do better elsewhere.
This isn't booking dot com  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We are probably going to leave this site too. It simply doesn’t work. We see so many posts from single guys saying they can’t get meets, well we can’t either. It’s not you, it’s this site. The owners of this site won’t remove or prevent fake profiles as that action would drastically reduce overall numbers of users, which is the main metric of success. Love to all. "
And yet people on Fab meet all the time. There's a much simpler solution to so called 'fake profiles' than expecting the site to remove them (are they really fake or is that just someone's perception?) - just block them.
They'll never appear in any future searches you do. They'll never message you again. It'll be as if they don't exist. Then all your left with are the real people, who are easy to spot.
But if they don't want to meet you then there's no solution to that problem.
The site works just as well now as it did when created in 2006. But you have to do some of the work and not expect everything handed to you on a plate by what is essentially just an Internet contact site.
A |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
It depends on your definition of 'luck'.
If you mean meeting a wide range of people, socialising and making some friends for life, then don't give up.
If you mean that you can't get laid, then you might do better elsewhere.
This isn't booking dot com "
Booking dot Yeah  |
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I mean, possibly, yeah. I might be of the unpopular opinion that no, there isn’t someone for everyone here.
That’s not to say that there’s anything wrong with you whatsoever or that you should take any personal offence to it whatsoever. It just is what it is. It’s a saturated market and your expectations probably do not align with the stark reality. |
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Only you can really answer that. Or, you could post a status saying you're going to leave unless someone convinces you to stay. I've seem this regularly.... not entirely sure if it works or not 
Take a look at your photos, and your profile bio. Think about the type of messages your sending out.... would you reply to you?
As a single female I don't tend to gravitate towards men who've been on for a long period of time and aren't verified. Making and effort to get out and meet people will get you a green tick and its been that sitting at home 'messaging everyone within a 30 mile radius'.
Hope you make the decision which is right for you. |
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"am a single female and the ammount of times i get let down is bad.yet men complain they cant get a meet."
Exactly! We have given up with meets from
Here and concentrate on clubs meets. Let down so many times by single men |
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I'm coming up to my 1st anniversary on Fab, and not had a single meet. I think I tick some of the major boxes
? Genuinely single
? Own home
? Can accommodate
So, I have to put my lack of any luck on here down to being ugly.
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Only you can decide, OP, but if you really have messaged everyone in a 30 mile radius I'm not surprised you haven't had any 'luck'.
That many messages means you're probably just copy and pasting the same message to everyone. Most of those are being deleted. Saying you can be a bit rough will also turn off a lot of people.
Try lowering your expectations to zero and sending individual messages to people whose criteria you match.
And as someone else said, many who leave come back. Why not hide your profile for a while and come back if you feel like it? By then there will be a few new people in your area and you might be just who someone is looking for. |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol
As a single man it’s difficult to meet. Have you considered attending a club?
I have, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit intimidated by it by going solo."
Some club events have pre drinks social outwith club venue. This could offer ice breaker conversations and give you a chance to meet people who are going to the club. Some just go to the pre drinks part so if you feel that's all your up for until you feel more comfortable going to the club solo that could be an option. If you do end up going to the club from pre drinks social then you'll recognise a few faces in the club. |
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"We are probably going to leave this site too. It simply doesn’t work. We see so many posts from single guys saying they can’t get meets, well we can’t either. It’s not you, it’s this site. The owners of this site won’t remove or prevent fake profiles as that action would drastically reduce overall numbers of users, which is the main metric of success. Love to all. "
We've had plenty of success on fab as a couple, both through meets from here and attending events/clubs, we carry "business cards" usually with our fab details so we can be found after hometime. We are also proactive in adding pics/vids up, sharing and updating our status etc.
Now, I see you mention fake profiles, as someone else commented, are they fake profiles or is that the perception... the thing is, after looking at your profile, it seems you've only really added a handful of what are basically mostly the same or similar photos, that can also look fake to others, when we look at profiles, I'm mainly looking at when photos were uploaded, whether they look genuine. You could just mixing those up and refreshing them.
For both you and OP, cans can also be a decent tool, I see you have already got a veri from cams, why not try for more so you can build up further. |
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"Been on Fab for a few months now and I must have messaged everyone within a 30 mile radius and still no luck.
Is it time for me to throw in the towel? lol"
So just for us personally, on what we look for in single men
1. A profile pic, messages without are an instant delete honestly.
2. A good range of (public) photos, don't have to be face but a good variety that shows this person is likely genuine.
3. An interesting bio, detailing what you're looking for, your limits, your expectations, your own experience etc
4. The first message is important, if it reads like you didn't bother to look at our profile, is just "hey" or "how're you" etc then it's an instant "no thank you" from us
5. Veris do help and I understand you're struggling to get meets so that's hard but you could also be utilising Cams for this, it's better than nothing.
You mention you can be rough, I feel more detail to that would be helpful, do you mean just harder sex or are you abit kinky?
If I were you, I'd search up local men who are roughly your parallel with lots of veris and compare your profile to theirs, what are they doing to present themselves than maybe you've lacked in? Then give yours a refresh.
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It's something I keep wondering (stay or go). I go to clubs occasionally (often can't get in as the single male quotient has been reached), but when I go I've often managed to get to 'play' not always but more than not. Here though no, still I'm the eternal optimist and you have to be in to stand a chance so I'll probably keep mooching about occasionally camming and sending messages to those who I fit (and fit me) - you never know
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people who approach this with expectations will always be disappointed.
I had no meets or verifications after removing my couple's profile as we wanted different things which is why we split. I'm happy to chat and wait it out. But it is harder now than ever, partly due to my age to get meets. I used to get a few a year, which was enough as I got repeats from them . |
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"You know those times when you go to say someth8ng and then think better of it?
This should have been one of those times OP.
I completely understand your frustration but admitting to having messaged 'everyone in a 30 mile radius' is not a particularly smart move.
It screams of desperation and, to those who have received a message from you, it is unlikely to win them round as you're essentially telling them that you don't see any of them as particularly special and that you'll pretty much shag anything.
It takes most men up to about a year to get that first meet. Stop being so impayient.
Perhaps think about what your expectations were when you joined.
Fab is not dial-a-shag.
"
Absolutely on the money! |
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