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New couple completely new to swinging
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Any of advice from anyone please me and the wife both made the decision to dip toes. We are booked in to go to a club very soon jaydees. She is bbw and I'm average kinda guy. Dad bod. We both love sex to a massive degree. We enjoy outdoors sex and love people watching so thought why not hie things a go in the world of meeting others. Not just for fun but socially as well. So any advice from anyone would be lovely. Both very nervous. At the moment. |
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My advice to the male half: sell yourself, make sure you’re dressed up. Someone will say ‘it’s like a pub where you can Fuck’ but don’t dress like it’s a night down the ferret and fiddle!
You can never be overdressed!
Also remember you don’t have to play, just enjoy being in a sexy Environment talk to people and make connections!
Make sure you both know what you want from the evening and be honest with each other. So many times when new couples are asked what they are looking for, they panic look at each other cos they don’t know what their partner wants!
Good luck! |
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Welcome to the lifestyle OP. As others have said, set firm boundaries and make sure you’re both comfortable with them. Don’t be pressured into anything and don’t be afraid to say no. A well run club will keep an eye out and will also show you the ropes.
Get out there, don’t be shy and chat to people (we’ve seen so many couples sitting alone looking defensive and leave without playing). That said, play is never a given - we go with the knowledge that we’ll both have great sex. If it’s with anyone else, then that’s a bonus.
And as has already been said, dress up! Women in clubs always make an effort and look amazing, but so often guys look like they’re heading for a evening in the local Spoons. I usually wear a shirt and suit which works well.
Above all, enjoy! |
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You made a very good choice regarding your first club. When are you going? I am planning to be there, with my partner and some friends, on Friday 19th of May, for their Curvy Ladies event. But any night at Jaydees is a great night, in my opinion.
When you arrive, a member of staff will give you a tour of the club, explain the rules and possibly introduce you to some of the regulars. Then you can explore yourselves, doing as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. There is zero pressure to play, and plenty of opportunities to chat to people without having to shout over the loud music, as in the lounge area and the kitchen, the music is on very low.
Enjoy your first experience, OP. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Go with no expectations and treat it as you would a night out op.
Be friendly and approachable but be clear about what you both want.
Keep talking to each other and set your boundaries.Do as much or as little as you want ie observation/playing together or with others .
Have a great time ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make sure you discuss what you both want out off the night, make sure you set any rules you both want for each other ect. "
Agree a safe word! If things look like getting beyond that point where EITHER or you are feeling uncomfortable. The safe word should be used for you both to withdraw from whatever it is you are doing. Find a quite spot and discuss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jaydees is a fabulous club and the staff go out of their way to make you feel comfortable.
Very safe and very considerable with a nice friendly crowd.
Just go and get the feel but be sure to communicate with each other!
Bottling up resentment or being uncomfortable can just come back to haunt hi further down the line.
Have fun. Good luck. |
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Honesty and communication are what you need.....
Be honest about what you each may want to explore and don't want to explore.
Check in with each other regularly- both in the night, in the moment and afterwards.
It's ok to be uncomfortable and need whatever is happening to stop without fear of pissing off the other.
Have fun.... if it isn't fun then don't do it
K
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honesty and communication are what you need.....
Be honest about what you each may want to explore and don't want to explore.
Check in with each other regularly- both in the night, in the moment and afterwards.
It's ok to be uncomfortable and need whatever is happening to stop without fear of pissing off the other.
Have fun.... if it isn't fun then don't do it
K
X"
Like you we are new to the scene. All along we have agreed to take 'baby steps' each time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be patient and communicate fully with each other x It’s a new experience for you both, expect challenges but ultimately overcoming them will potentially bring you even closer as a couple x that’s our experience x
You have to be prepared to discuss everything and accept one another’s deal breakers x only meet with those you are BOTH excited to meet x have fun with it xx |
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Communication is the key, talk, talk and then talk some more, set you boundaries and let anyone you are going to play with know too, many a newbie has thrown a wobbly by either one of them or the play partners pushing the boundaries, it's a journey, keep an open mind too x |
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Even now , years down the line , when we are back from a meet , we have the tea and toast conversation
We stand in the kitchen and have a re cap on the nights fun and games
As already said , communication is key , we met as 2 singles on fab and are now married
Absolutely no secrets between us
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"Even now , years down the line , when we are back from a meet , we have the tea and toast conversation
We stand in the kitchen and have a re cap on the nights fun and games
As already said , communication is key , we met as 2 singles on fab and are now married
Absolutely no secrets between us
"
Absolutely, checking in about what went well, what you’d want to try etc. it’s all part of the fun. Also you’ll miss things that happen or forget things so it’s nice to have a reminder! |
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All good advice I have heard about Jaydees but never been before
To add to the advice you can write something on your status about going and wanting to meet people and chat to people online before you go so you know you have some people to talk to when you get there
Just an option you might want to do that on the second or third visit and just observe on the first visit
Xx |
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