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Regular couples meet pros and cons
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My lovely wife and I were having a debate about the pros and cons of having a regular couple to meet with. The pros are obvious- build a friendship, know what the other likes, relaxed as trust builds etc. but the cons.. ?? Are emotional factors being kept in check? Do you allow text chats individually or keep it to group chats?? What are other cons
What’s your experience?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's great when things all go well with the right couple, but it can also end up very badly,
Not that I want to put you off it but I've experienced what happens when things go very badly, the other couple broke up, me and my wife decided to explore polyamory and she have the guy as a secondary partner she then gave up on swinging leaving me to and encouraged me to carry on on my own so as I still had something for me, now me and the wife have decided to separate as it just hasn't worked out.
Just make sure that any couples you become close with are solid in their own relationship and of course make sure your own relationship is solid, and it should be fine. |
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"It's great when things all go well with the right couple, but it can also end up very badly,
Not that I want to put you off it but I've experienced what happens when things go very badly, the other couple broke up, me and my wife decided to explore polyamory and she have the guy as a secondary partner she then gave up on swinging leaving me to and encouraged me to carry on on my own so as I still had something for me, now me and the wife have decided to separate as it just hasn't worked out.
Just make sure that any couples you become close with are solid in their own relationship and of course make sure your own relationship is solid, and it should be fine."
Sorry to hear the way things have worked out for you… that’s such a shame. Yes we would make sure not to get to emotionally involved |
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"I think it would be nice to have a regular couple to meet and have drinks ect. But I would definitely have group chat than private messages."
Yes same idea here - thanks for sharing your thoughts and lovely profile x |
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We have 2 experiences of this.
1st cpl all was going well, everything kept to a group chat, some amazing sex. Was busy one night at work and the male pretended to be his Mrs and asked for claires number to have a girly chat. No problem with that I thaught. When I got home Claire went ballistic at me. He'd rang her, bombarded her with messages proclaiming undying love etc. That was the end of that.
Present cpl, no probs at all. Meet when we can which isn't that often and we all treat it as it is. A bit of fun we all enjoy when we can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it would be nice to have a regular couple to meet and have drinks ect. But I would definitely have group chat than private messages.
Yes same idea here - thanks for sharing your thoughts and lovely profile x "
Thank you and same.. great profile and lovely pics  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's great when things all go well with the right couple, but it can also end up very badly,
Not that I want to put you off it but I've experienced what happens when things go very badly, the other couple broke up, me and my wife decided to explore polyamory and she have the guy as a secondary partner she then gave up on swinging leaving me to and encouraged me to carry on on my own so as I still had something for me, now me and the wife have decided to separate as it just hasn't worked out.
Just make sure that any couples you become close with are solid in their own relationship and of course make sure your own relationship is solid, and it should be fine.
Sorry to hear the way things have worked out for you… that’s such a shame. Yes we would make sure not to get to emotionally involved "
It's ok it is what it is, I'm not bitter about it and me and the X are still best of friends we have just grown apart as people and want different things.
Just remember though you can't choose your emotions you have to just be able to deal with them appropriately but if you and your partner are sold and you keep a few safeguards in place like sticking to group chats, I'm sure you will be just fine |
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"It's great when things all go well with the right couple, but it can also end up very badly,
Not that I want to put you off it but I've experienced what happens when things go very badly, the other couple broke up, me and my wife decided to explore polyamory and she have the guy as a secondary partner she then gave up on swinging leaving me to and encouraged me to carry on on my own so as I still had something for me, now me and the wife have decided to separate as it just hasn't worked out.
Just make sure that any couples you become close with are solid in their own relationship and of course make sure your own relationship is solid, and it should be fine.
Sorry to hear the way things have worked out for you… that’s such a shame. Yes we would make sure not to get to emotionally involved "
How would you do that? |
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I like regular couples - the sex always gets better when you get to know someone. I do sometime meet the wives of regular couples I know on their own but I always make sure that hubby is included in any convos (if he wants to).
If I ever thought it was causing them issues or emotions were coming into it I would end it. |
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By *p4fun60Couple
over a year ago
Hampshire |
We had an exclusive friendship with our last long term playmates that sexually lasted nearly 10 years, we started off same room & eventually moved onto seperate rooms, we'd play once or twice a month depending on work commitments, although never holidayed together we shared beach trips & days out together sexually & socially knowing one another intimately & never felt the need to look for other playmates but many many years late we have since surpassed the sexual side of our relationship & are just really firm friends, none of us look at each other in a sexual way anymore, but we still socialise with them regularly, there was also never any problems with jealousy or chatting behind each others back |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
"We have 2 experiences of this.
1st cpl all was going well, everything kept to a group chat, some amazing sex. Was busy one night at work and the male pretended to be his Mrs and asked for claires number to have a girly chat. No problem with that I thaught. When I got home Claire went ballistic at me. He'd rang her, bombarded her with messages proclaiming undying love etc. That was the end of that.
Present cpl, no probs at all. Meet when we can which isn't that often and we all treat it as it is. A bit of fun we all enjoy when we can "
Oh god that sounds awful! We stick purely to club meets and no chats unless through this site. We are so close that a bulldozer couldn't come between us but we've found not everyone is like us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve never wanted to mix swinging with friendship. As a couple it’s been our golden rule.
We have met with couples for a second, even third time but that then crosses into the friendship category.
That’s why I prefer clubs where you can meet with new people and it’s fresh and exciting.
Swinging for me is that occasional itch that needs scratching, not something that crosses into real life.
We all have different reasons for being in this lifestyle.
If you can make the couples friendship work then great but too many of our friends have ended up with broken relationships because one or more develop feelings over time and boundaries are crossed. |
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Then your in the right place emotionally and Sexually.its a rarety to find another cpl you both click with. The social side is very important to us. We don't live the life like some do. We just have fun when we can. It's our naughty treat for each other. Some may say that's boring, but as the name says, that's justuss |
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I think it's a bit difficult to say at the start we will do this but won't do that down the line. Good friendship grow and you naturally find your way. As long as your relationship and communication is solid and find a couple who are likewise it will all work out find wherever the road leads. |
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"We had an exclusive friendship with our last long term playmates that sexually lasted nearly 10 years, we started off same room & eventually moved onto seperate rooms, we'd play once or twice a month depending on work commitments, although never holidayed together we shared beach trips & days out together sexually & socially knowing one another intimately & never felt the need to look for other playmates but many many years late we have since surpassed the sexual side of our relationship & are just really firm friends, none of us look at each other in a sexual way anymore, but we still socialise with them regularly, there was also never any problems with jealousy or chatting behind each others back "
That sounds like a really lovely experience. |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"My lovely wife and I were having a debate about the pros and cons of having a regular couple to meet with. The pros are obvious- build a friendship, know what the other likes, relaxed as trust builds etc. but the cons.. ?? Are emotional factors being kept in check? Do you allow text chats individually or keep it to group chats?? What are other cons
What’s your experience?? "
Pros you have right
But the cons they think it's OK to do something you might like but u don't..
And they get arsey |
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We know a few couples that we have a WhatsApp group with
We can go out for beers , a comedy night , even the the theatre
At the end of the night its sometimes , lets go out out soon
Sometimes we think best drink this quick , were not getting a second one
And as for the show , forget that , we're off to the room
We like that we can do the mates thing as well as ruin the bed with them ! |
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"We have 2 experiences of this.
1st cpl all was going well, everything kept to a group chat, some amazing sex. Was busy one night at work and the male pretended to be his Mrs and asked for claires number to have a girly chat. No problem with that I thaught. When I got home Claire went ballistic at me. He'd rang her, bombarded her with messages proclaiming undying love etc. That was the end of that.
Present cpl, no probs at all. Meet when we can which isn't that often and we all treat it as it is. A bit of fun we all enjoy when we can "
Had a different but similar (!) experience as a single man playing regularly with a couple with no issues for a long time, then I started meeting the fem on her own by agreement, actually meeting as three in the first instance to talk about one to one’s and agreeing that we would stop at the moment any one of the three us felt right to.
Down the line after multiple meets I had a heap of shit coming way by text followed by abusive calls etc from the husband accusing me of all sorts, trying to steal his wife from him etc.
Let’s just say at that point I decided to cut off ties. Took a while for him to stop messaging me.
Never saw them again but through mutual non swinging friends I learned a couple of years later they had split up. |
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By *otsMan
over a year ago
Higham |
As a couple now a single (we are still married health reason for her).
We met a few and I've met a few since no bother.
I guess we've been lucky, no clingy types or dodgy behind the backs just friendships and meets.
One of our long standing friends has also had to duck out through I'll help more the pity.
Great couple.
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