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Impatient single men
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off? |
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
Yes, we have been doing a great deal of blocking. The sad thing is when it’s early in the conversation and we like them, we tell them that it’s a turn off to be too expecting, but it almost is always followed up with a very assuming reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, we have been doing a great deal of blocking. The sad thing is when it’s early in the conversation and we like them, we tell them that it’s a turn off to be too expecting, but it almost is always followed up with a very assuming reply."
It’s the ones that make it clear it’s not ideal for them that I’m part of the couple but they’ll force themselves lol x I say goodbye very swiftly then |
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?"
Yep and to be fair my partner and I often get similar with some couples as well (proper verified couples). They seem to think because online can drop everything and meet that weekend when we are usually planning 1-2 month ahead. |
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
Haven’t had that exactly as in our play I (him) do the initial coordination/chat. If I think he is a good fit, she has a look at our messages, his pics and says yes or no. It’s almost always yes if everything is respectful and unassuming to that point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven’t had that exactly as in our play I (him) do the initial coordination/chat. If I think he is a good fit, she has a look at our messages, his pics and says yes or no. It’s almost always yes if everything is respectful and unassuming to that point."
The genuine guys on here have a difficult life because of the guys you are talking about. I never understood how men think being pushy or huffy or even rude will get them anywhere, it's idiotic thinking, that shows no respect for others.... |
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There's always been a volume of people who assume that being online here must equal desperate for an immediate meet and sex.
We just have to be thankful when others make it very obvious that they are not compatible. I don't think it is too easy to stop. They often go jand in hand with those who want wank fodder, as they are online as they are horny.
You can tell people that you're slower to meet but your actions speak clearest. You just have to skip the wronguns for you. |
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
"Why would he get more out of it than you, genuinely curious as to what you mean."
Think I said “as much or more”. What I mean is these guys are probably not in a relationship and they will probably have one of the best nights of their week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven’t had that exactly as in our play I (him) do the initial coordination/chat. If I think he is a good fit, she has a look at our messages, his pics and says yes or no. It’s almost always yes if everything is respectful and unassuming to that point.
The genuine guys on here have a difficult life because of the guys you are talking about. I never understood how men think being pushy or huffy or even rude will get them anywhere, it's idiotic thinking, that shows no respect for others...."
Tbh this should be making life easier for guys who can behave decently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven’t had that exactly as in our play I (him) do the initial coordination/chat. If I think he is a good fit, she has a look at our messages, his pics and says yes or no. It’s almost always yes if everything is respectful and unassuming to that point.
The genuine guys on here have a difficult life because of the guys you are talking about. I never understood how men think being pushy or huffy or even rude will get them anywhere, it's idiotic thinking, that shows no respect for others....
Tbh this should be making life easier for guys who can behave decently. "
Yeah I meant to reply to the original post, not the one that was most recent lol... Reads different that way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would he get more out of it than you, genuinely curious as to what you mean.
Think I said “as much or more”. What I mean is these guys are probably not in a relationship and they will probably have one of the best nights of their week."
Yes, the 'as much' I totally get,it should be an equally good experience for all involved, it was the 'more' that threw me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" What I mean is these guys are probably not in a relationship and they will probably have one of the best nights of their week."
Will it be the best night of the guys week ?
It should be 3 individual minds coming to the same conclusion which is an enjoyable time all together, not a couple and a single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would he get more out of it than you, genuinely curious as to what you mean.
Think I said “as much or more”. What I mean is these guys are probably not in a relationship and they will probably have one of the best nights of their week."
I'd be hoping to make it the best night of the week for the couple!
But maybe I'm deluded   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?"
Have to agree with you,I'm usually on during the day and when I say we're not rushing or I'll speak with hubby it's nine times out of ten a torrent of abuse
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Haven’t had that exactly as in our play I (him) do the initial coordination/chat. If I think he is a good fit, she has a look at our messages, his pics and says yes or no. It’s almost always yes if everything is respectful and unassuming to that point.
The genuine guys on here have a difficult life because of the guys you are talking about. I never understood how men think being pushy or huffy or even rude will get them anywhere, it's idiotic thinking, that shows no respect for others...."
I don’t think so , it actually makes it easier that so many are so bad.
You could say the sane about couples who either mess single guys around , clearly hedging with plan A,B,C or are just plain rude/demanding ‘come to hotel x and fuck my wife tonight and then go’ etc.
When you find a couple who are respectful and communicate properly, it’s refreshing and they have your full attention.
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We're lucky to have never suffered abuse but give them an inch of a positive reply and they think they can continually message you, with the usual crapola, any fun lately, how's your day going, up to much. I just say we've put you on our hotlist and will get round to them. Once the banal repeated messages start, then it's cheerio from us and blocked. |
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By *empted23Couple
over a year ago
countryside |
Well in the last 6 weeks since joining apart from an Infinite number of
Meet now
Wanna shag
Suck my cock
We have also had
Can I get her pregnant
Can I move in to your house aslong as I let you both use me
Can you use me and then lock me in a cupboard and go out for dinner on my card
And last night
The rudest so far
No intro , just three words
Does It swallow
I queried the it
Maybe a typo
No the reply to my query was
I would bang IT hard
Needless to say our block list is far longer than our inbox threads |
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"Well in the last 6 weeks since joining apart from an Infinite number of
Meet now
Wanna shag
Suck my cock
We have also had
Can I get her pregnant
Can I move in to your house aslong as I let you both use me
Can you use me and then lock me in a cupboard and go out for dinner on my card
And last night
The rudest so far
No intro , just three words
Does It swallow
I queried the it
Maybe a typo
No the reply to my query was
I would bang IT hard
Needless to say our block list is far longer than our inbox threads "
Wow!
Just wow.
Some people are just unbelievable.
How do they make it through a day? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t meet at a moments notice so I get why that’s annoying and rushing to meet as I get you have plans or work. I’d prefer to chat first and then find out when they’re free and if have the same days available. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well in the last 6 weeks since joining apart from an Infinite number of
Meet now
Wanna shag
Suck my cock
We have also had
Can I get her pregnant
Can I move in to your house aslong as I let you both use me
Can you use me and then lock me in a cupboard and go out for dinner on my card
And last night
The rudest so far
No intro , just three words
Does It swallow
I queried the it
Maybe a typo
No the reply to my query was
I would bang IT hard
Needless to say our block list is far longer than our inbox threads "
Welcome to Fab, that seaside air has a lot to answer for, looks like it sends some people into a kink rage
How was dinner btw did you have coq au vin, English translation cock in cupboard  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?"
Single men get their time wasted frequently so they get frustrated and want to be sure if you're real or not. Having said that if I got a reply like the one you mentioned I would just block and move on. "We'll discuss and get back to you" is a polite no most of the time. It's a shame people can't just say no on here instead of leading people on with neutral language |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s a massive element of self entitlement nowadays. Throughout society, not necessarily just men, but I get that it’s a larger issue on here with men specifically.
The art of conversation is seemingly dying, getting to know who you’re chatting to, building up a little bit of rapport, a little flirting then scheduling a social, and moving things forward. This can happen quickly if both parties are on board, but sending a meet now request is not something that sits easily with me. It strikes me as a shooting their shot copy and paste message |
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"
Does It swallow
"
Man, that was going to be my next line as well  ...and dudes wonder why we get a rough shot of getting replies, what ever happened to normal? Muppets!
I'd like to think I don't push too hard for a reply, but then again I probably air on the side of caution too much aswell; it's a minefield. Do think there are times I've waited too long to follow up a convo...we all have lives and that.
If I ever get to meet Stephen King, I'll ask him if I.T. swallows, just for closure.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had some odd and harrowing experiences on here for that reason I assess ppl's responses a lot ...particularly responses to my lack of response(if I don't respond right away). Overly eager or overly pushy folk creep me out.....
Like the other day on my status I was asking about daytime parties ...I got a message claiming there was a party ...there would be a few men ...I asked if any women would be there ...was told yes ...yet when I asked where the party was he couldn't even give the general area like it's in Newcastle, Durham.. ...he just kept asking if I was interested ...
It felt like a setup ...
Maybe my experiences have made me paranoid
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're lucky to have never suffered abuse but give them an inch of a positive reply and they think they can continually message you, with the usual crapola, any fun lately, how's your day going, up to much. I just say we've put you on our hotlist and will get round to them. Once the banal repeated messages start, then it's cheerio from us and blocked."
the copy and paste messages introducing themselves for the third or fourth time !
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This is a fair point and is frustrating no doubt .
However in support of single guys consider we poor beleaguered single men actually no ! everyone needs guidelines : indicators to know how to respond to something don’t they !
I’m a chatty guy and will / do often keep chatting to people who do not reply to every message .. then suddenly they do reply to one and the whole thing happens again .
Naturally I would not do this if
A) I knew the situation .. were either becoming friends ? Or
B) we are being used as a ‘ place marker’ ( OH! he seems okay we will put him on the list of ‘ possibles’ ) Meaning that it’s unlikely there would be some chat between people until ‘ the one’ was chosen .
Meantime .. single guy is unaware and continues to chat and make pleasantries and become a pia in the process
Why?
Because he didn’t know where he stood because someone didn’t tell him .
Someone messages me saying
We like look of you but there’s loads out there so we don’t know yet .. will get back to you within a few days if we’re interested and want to take things further .
Then no more chatty pleasantries will come from me .. easy fix huh? And way better than being ambiguous and leaving single guys dangling not knowing what the situation really is .
Perhaps clarity / transparency is needed to reduce the levels of frustration on both sides . It can’t always be about the couples and single females . The guys need some consideration too
Or frankly they will just continue to piss people off as they don’t know they are ..
And maybe even more important the treatment of single guys on fab needs a rethink . Yes . There are more of us than you !
Yes sadly too many of the men ruin it for the small percentage of nice guys
Reality check arguably without single guys Fab would be much less profitable and far less busy . The site would be a couples and the odd unicorn site and make huge losses in a short period of time .
So . I would argue guys on here are important and do matter ..
Bottom line
Isn’t just good manners not to leave a caller on the doorstep for hours whilst you discuss whether to open the door and let them in ? |
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By *empted23Couple
over a year ago
countryside |
"Well in the last 6 weeks since joining apart from an Infinite number of
Meet now
Wanna shag
Suck my cock
We have also had
Can I get her pregnant
Can I move in to your house aslong as I let you both use me
Can you use me and then lock me in a cupboard and go out for dinner on my card
And last night
The rudest so far
No intro , just three words
Does It swallow
I queried the it
Maybe a typo
No the reply to my query was
I would bang IT hard
Needless to say our block list is far longer than our inbox threads
Welcome to Fab, that seaside air has a lot to answer for, looks like it sends some people into a kink rage
How was dinner btw did you have coq au vin, English translation cock in cupboard "
Lmao no we didn’t uptake the offer of free use then free dinner either |
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
It’s obviously a bit controversial and difficult to see each others view from their side.
Maybe related, maybe not, but those clubs who charge couples a certain rate for entry, and more than that amount for a single guy to enter, or like Desire in Mexico don’t allow them in at all, why do you think they do that? |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
being pushy ... pestering ... assuming ... keeping on ... being rude and other things we just block and move on and glad in a way they showed whom they really are it makes it easier to then talk to those that do it the correct way...
far to many on here assume like they think because the profiles match or ticked the same boxes then it must be on but they forget the attaction / connection that us swingers look for we dont shag anyone theres no sex on a plate you have to be liked at the very least and thats before the chat many will slip up just in the messages ..
and its not just men lots of couples and women do this too its not a guy problem its a people problem it just seems more guys due to the sheer numbers of them.
#justmyopinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess in a way to try and keep numbers down or the amount of money they have to pay will make them behave, I dont think thats right though.
I guess you could say why are single women either let in free or the cost is so low. To get numbers up I assume. But that's all just my opinion could be many different reasons. |
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We agree with everything here. There are a few single men who just think we are sitting here waiting for them to message with sometimes a 1 word message and we come running or they say they’re feee now and can come over or ‘let’s chat and see how we go.’ Or the worst of all, wuu2? Haha! |
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"It’s obviously a bit controversial and difficult to see each others view from their side.
Maybe related, maybe not, but those clubs who charge couples a certain rate for entry, and more than that amount for a single guy to enter, or like Desire in Mexico don’t allow them in at all, why do you think they do that? "
Without asking the venues concerned I dont think we will ever have the answer but having been to Desire their theme is a couples lifestyle resort and even at Cap D'agde many of the clubs and bars only allow couples in and they are always busy so maybe it's not a financial thing. Maybe couples in the lifestyle have become marginalised and therefore go to couples only venues more often if that's what they are looking for. I do find it odd that a lifestyle that grew from liberated couples, when it comes to clubs you might only get 1 couples night a week. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some of it boils down to the opportunities that single guys have. We have had a few single guys that get over excited at the likely hood that they're actuality going to get a meet. As soon as we say that we will meet we get bombarded with questions about what will happen/what we want. |
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After stating on our profile, generic questions like 'how's you', will be blocked, I've just opened a message with 'morning, how's you '
Jeez,is it that hard to read a profile ? We also require a face pic on first contact, saves any time wasting. If you chat for a while, and then discover he's a shrek doppelganger, then all the messages have been a complete waste of effort and time. As per usual, no face pic attached to first message. So it becomes 'bye bye now' as per our profile. |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
There is a massive difference between people interacting online and meeting in real life.
I do think some of the profiles (and I say profiles as I know one couple that runs at least one fake single woman's profile , and they seem to get a buzz out of being idiots, so don't automatically assume a single guys profile is run by a single guy)
Some people seem to have a hobby of being idiots , being rude and organising meets and not turning up...
I get the impression that in real life (based on my experiences) that the real life single guys are generally the exact opposite of the keyboard loonies ...
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Sadly it's the nature of the best with this type of site that you will have to deal with hassle and idiots on the path to finding fun. Wearing couples hat seen it from men, ladies, couples...
single men - well all of the above
single ladies - apart from obvious fakes even the ones with some veris often don't meet and just want to chat and chat and chat and use Fab as a social media site. Pinning them down to a date to meet even for a social after ages chatting can be like trying to catch a greased piglet (to borrow Cameron's description of Johnson). Others are completely up their own arse because they have so much choice and think they are very special.
couples - well we all know about the fakes, the accounts run by men with ladies that aren't really that interested, the ones who almost never meet but talk like they are porn stars, ditto problem on catching a greased piglet sometimes, ones who think they are super special and arrogant just because one half of the couple is a lady etc.
So basically crap men, ladies and couples here but you've just got to get quick as assessing, move on and focus on the amazing people of Fab of whom there are so so many Been on here more than 10 years as single and couple at various points. Definitely got better at just moving on from the crap and finding the good people. |
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"I think some of it boils down to the opportunities that single guys have. We have had a few single guys that get over excited at the likely hood that they're actuality going to get a meet. As soon as we say that we will meet we get bombarded with questions about what will happen/what we want. "
This is exactly it and it’s what puts me off actively contacting people I’m interested in sometimes. Which is a pity because I do think men shouldn’t have to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to messaging, particularly given so many of the messages they send will go unanswered.
I totally appreciate that they struggle on here and my expression of interest might be the only message they’ve received that week, never mind a meet. But I don’t like to chat endlessly and I don’t schedule meets ages in advance, I prefer to meet up spontaneously if I’m free so I explain this and add them to my hotlist for future “reference” as it were (and I know that approach doesn’t work for everyone, that’s why I explain it and if it doesn’t suit them and they prefer to plan we can leave it at that).
But every time it creates this weird pressurised situation where I then basically get messages from them every single day in anticipation of a meet even though I’ve said I’ll contact them. Ranging from the banal/borderline passive-aggressive comments like “remember me?” “Been having fun?” “You hiding?” - right through to directly assuming every time they see me online (even when my profile is hidden) I must be looking to meet.
Have even had them then get annoyed if they see I’ve met someone else as they assumed they were “next in line” essentially. Quickly can end up turning me off entirely. It’s actually partly why I prefer to be spontaneous but even at that you need a bit of a plan by way of potentials on your hotlist.
It’s a real shame as so many men complain they aren’t being given a chance, but when they are given one they unintentionally get in their own way. |
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By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?"
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape) |
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape) "
It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of my verifications.
Checked his profile… same old waffle about how men on here give other men a bad name but “I am one of the good guys” couldn’t write it! Everyone’s a good guy in their own story. |
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape)
It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of my verifications.
Checked his profile… same old waffle about how men on here give other men a bad name but “I am one of the good guys” couldn’t write it! Everyone’s a good guy in their own story. "
Probably best to let their actions show rather than words.
Self praise is no recommendation |
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape)
It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of verifications"
I've had that a few times. Usually about 3 or 4 minutes apart between messages just insulting me by saying I'm ugly or a slut or something. Don't even give me chance to actually message back. It's always the "nice guys who don't get a chance". |
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape)
It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of my verifications.
Checked his profile… same old waffle about how men on here give other men a bad name but “I am one of the good guys” couldn’t write it! Everyone’s a good guy in their own story.
Probably best to let their actions show rather than words.
Self praise is no recommendation "
Absolutely! Had I actually seen his first message before the abusive follow-up I still wouldn’t have replied as from experience I consider any “nice guy” declaration on a profile to translate to “avoid me at all costs!” |
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"It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of verifications
I've had that a few times. Usually about 3 or 4 minutes apart between messages just insulting me by saying I'm ugly or a slut or something. Don't even give me chance to actually message back. It's always the "nice guys who don't get a chance". "
Yeah 99% of the time it’s before I’ve had a chance to reply or even open the message, they’ve just seen I’m online and assume I’m ignoring them.
And of course, my punishment for daring to ignore them should be being reminded that I am a fat ugly slut who they didn’t want to meet anyway.
Riiight, cos that’s why you messaged me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I know what you mean I only interested in men that make effort I don't really talk to many men on here nearly all of them expect you to meet them there and then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this! I’m so close to blocking single males altogether and just meeting women or couples. It’s a good 90 per cent on here like that which is such a shame as it means you miss out on the genuine guys! |
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"Lot of couples are think they can have everyone cos they are couple some of them so up themselves "
Ditto some ladies. The joys of Fab. It's a fine line sometimes between being patient and getting frustrated when people just want to chat and chat and chat and talk about meeting but never fix a meeting date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lot of couples are think they can have everyone cos they are couple some of them so up themselves "
In nearly nine months of being on Fab, we've only actually met one couple from here. I wish we could have everyone we wanted! |
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By *unnyPair OP Couple
over a year ago
Seminole |
"I think some of it boils down to the opportunities that single guys have. We have had a few single guys that get over excited at the likely hood that they're actuality going to get a meet. As soon as we say that we will meet we get bombarded with questions about what will happen/what we want. "
Yes, that’s exactly the way we get it. For some I suppose that’s direct and not wasting any time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might just be us, but the 100% we will never meet you moment occurs when we have said “let us discuss and get back to you” and then receive multiple queries in succession asking what we think, are we available today, etc. We don’t lead people on, but we feel asking what their preferences are, or how often they play is misconstrued as finalizing our decision to meet. That said, 100% of the single men we do meet are patient and respectful to the fact that they are getting as much or more out of a meet than we are. Anyone else find the persistent and assuming contact a turn off?
I have had worse than this, just today. First message received, I read it, didn’t reply as I was thinking about it - 20 minutes later, another message saying “shame you didn’t want me, I’m one of the good ones”. Well actually no mate, you’re obviously not if you’re so pushy, but also it wasn’t an outright no, so you wrecked any chance yourself (and frankly gave me a lucky escape)
It’s always the “good ones” I had an angry message recently when I didn’t reply, said I am fat (can see from my pic I’m not, not that it matters - you messaged me) and ugly (don’t have a face pic so how would you know?) and just using this site to boost my low self esteem (projection). Also made a nasty comment referencing one of my verifications.
Checked his profile… same old waffle about how men on here give other men a bad name but “I am one of the good guys” couldn’t write it! Everyone’s a good guy in their own story.
Probably best to let their actions show rather than words.
Self praise is no recommendation
Absolutely! Had I actually seen his first message before the abusive follow-up I still wouldn’t have replied as from experience I consider any “nice guy” declaration on a profile to translate to “avoid me at all costs!” "
I hear you ladies, that's why fab is a tough gig for us single men however I do find patience is key, and realising because of the demographic of fab u only get one meet for 10 that u actually text. It's a fine line tho, best to check verifications see what other girls and couples say about the proposed guy..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think some of it boils down to the opportunities that single guys have. We have had a few single guys that get over excited at the likely hood that they're actuality going to get a meet. As soon as we say that we will meet we get bombarded with questions about what will happen/what we want.
This is exactly it and it’s what puts me off actively contacting people I’m interested in sometimes. Which is a pity because I do think men shouldn’t have to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to messaging, particularly given so many of the messages they send will go unanswered.
I totally appreciate that they struggle on here and my expression of interest might be the only message they’ve received that week, never mind a meet. But I don’t like to chat endlessly and I don’t schedule meets ages in advance, I prefer to meet up spontaneously if I’m free so I explain this and add them to my hotlist for future “reference” as it were (and I know that approach doesn’t work for everyone, that’s why I explain it and if it doesn’t suit them and they prefer to plan we can leave it at that).
But every time it creates this weird pressurised situation where I then basically get messages from them every single day in anticipation of a meet even though I’ve said I’ll contact them. Ranging from the banal/borderline passive-aggressive comments like “remember me?” “Been having fun?” “You hiding?” - right through to directly assuming every time they see me online (even when my profile is hidden) I must be looking to meet.
Have even had them then get annoyed if they see I’ve met someone else as they assumed they were “next in line” essentially. Quickly can end up turning me off entirely. It’s actually partly why I prefer to be spontaneous but even at that you need a bit of a plan by way of potentials on your hotlist.
It’s a real shame as so many men complain they aren’t being given a chance, but when they are given one they unintentionally get in their own way. "
Such a beautifully written text |
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By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
"Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this! I’m so close to blocking single males altogether and just meeting women or couples. It’s a good 90 per cent on here like that which is such a shame as it means you miss out on the genuine guys! "
I liken it to mining for gold: you have to filter an awful lot of sh*t to find a nugget |
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If I don't get a reply after its been read, I move on. I personally appreciate the "really sorry, but not our/my type" messages as its a bit more certain then, but can understand why as couples and single women get so many messages. |
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Agree with this. I just take the silence and move on. Have to admit that it is hurtful at times but a couple I've met showed me the utter crap they get as soon as they log on and I can totally understand why folks get fed up. Must be even worse for single ladies...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this! I’m so close to blocking single males altogether and just meeting women or couples. It’s a good 90 per cent on here like that which is such a shame as it means you miss out on the genuine guys!
I liken it to mining for gold: you have to filter an awful lot of sh*t to find a nugget "
Absolutely! haha. I live in hope!! |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"Glad I’m not the only one experiencing this! I’m so close to blocking single males altogether and just meeting women or couples. It’s a good 90 per cent on here like that which is such a shame as it means you miss out on the genuine guys!
I liken it to mining for gold: you have to filter an awful lot of sh*t to find a nugget
Absolutely! haha. I live in hope!! "
Got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
"Lot of couples are think they can have everyone cos they are couple some of them so up themselves "
this is so true and i agree as part of a couple (got a profile with hubs) we no longer meet couples via here as so many think they are the gold standard of swinging ...rather meet at a club as its easy to spot the oh look at us couples and avoid ... i think the message is this is not a guy problem its a people problem ...guys tend to stand out as there are zillions more of them thats all |
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