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Unread messages
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I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
Only if you think you're an exceptionally good match...
Risk annoying someone for the chance of meeting the one? :D
People often click the profile name without opening the message, and decide not to bother, or open and mark unread with a view to come back to it. Or sometimes like you say, it gets missed.
I think if you try messaging again without reply, a message will automatically pop up and advise you against it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s obviously such a ball ache for some people to get messages from anyone let alone two messages from the same person so I’d advise against it in case the Fab police pop round and give you a hoofing.
What’s the harm really? Do what you feel. |
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We always look at the profile before opening a msg, if they are not a match then we don't open it and most likely just delete it. We find it incredibly pushy when we recieve a second msg, especially the ones who say..what do you think? Or so do you want to chat then. If we send msgs which to be honest isn't alot and we come across a profile we like the look of but turns out we have msgd already and not had a reply then we leave well alone, there are some guys out there who just don't bother looking at the profile to see if they have made contact before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't usually like receiving a second message as I usually haven't replied to the first with good reason. If I haven't read it yet then I get a second message it just turns me off if I'm honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is one of our biggest frustrations. There's a good reason why we've not replied. There's a good reason that there's a warning before you try and send a second message without a reply to your first.
It's very simple. No reply, not interested. We sometimes get a third when we have to start blocking people. |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
I only send one, if it goes unead or not replied then I move on.
I'm not emotionaly invested in a message and my ego is a bit more sterdy.
I have started to block those that go unread o not replied from other forumites who do the same, simply so I don't get tempeted to try again, waist of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We will leave a message unread (after reading it) if one of us hasn't read it but the sender maybe of interest. If we then get bombarded with follow ups we would presume it to be a bit pushy and probably just delete it. It can sometimes take us days to both get around to reading messages due to life being so busy. |
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"We will leave a message unread (after reading it) if one of us hasn't read it but the sender maybe of interest. If we then get bombarded with follow ups we would presume it to be a bit pushy and probably just delete it. It can sometimes take us days to both get around to reading messages due to life being so busy."
That’s how we do messages, too. |
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We constantly receive msgs from single guys when it clearly states on the profile we're not looking for. To us it demonstrates they haven't read or don't care what the profile says.
Result.
Delete.
Might sound a bit harsh, but that's why we write a profile isn't it?? |
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"We always look at the profile before opening a msg, if they are not a match then we don't open it and most likely just delete it. We find it incredibly pushy when we recieve a second msg, especially the ones who say..what do you think? Or so do you want to chat then. If we send msgs which to be honest isn't alot and we come across a profile we like the look of but turns out we have msgd already and not had a reply then we leave well alone, there are some guys out there who just don't bother looking at the profile to see if they have made contact before. "
And this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im sick of guys who repeat message.. just this morning a guys messaged this is the 6th time, i havent replied as hes not for me, and im sick of replying to guys sorry not for me then they ask why? I dont usually block for these reasons but thinking im going to have to start |
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I find a follow up “nudge” message really off putting. If I haven’t opened the message I’ve either not seen it yet but would have gotten around to it, or I’ve seen it but want to reply when I have time to do so properly so I’ve marked unread for now. Either way, a second message just comes across pushy and honestly a bit desperate so it eliminates any chance I had of being interested. Patience is a virtue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually try to reply to messages that have clearly read the profile and said something beyond “How are you?”, so don’t get many unwanted second messages but the ones that really wind me up are those that send a lengthy copy and paste of their previous message, weeks or even months after the first one!
Tend to send a pretty scathing response to those……. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only send one, if it goes unead or not replied then I move on.
I'm not emotionaly invested in a message and my ego is a bit more sterdy.
I have started to block those that go unread o not replied from other forumites who do the same, simply so I don't get tempeted to try again, waist of time."
Yeah I’ve started blocking people if my message gets deleted or unread because I’m not their type and I don’t want to message them again by accident |
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Everyone's situ is different so there's no right or wrong answer. We knew a lady who was bombarded with around 500 messages a day  (she showed us on her mobile). We got through to her by sending several messages when we saw she was online  .... If someone is not for you, just block them as we do. |
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"Everyone's situ is different so there's no right or wrong answer. We knew a lady who was bombarded with around 500 messages a day (she showed us on her mobile). We got through to her by sending several messages when we saw she was online .... If someone is not for you, just block them as we do."
At that volume it’s almost a full time job to read everyone (as no doubt there would be a further 500 the following day)…I get the patience comment but here their message would never get replied to simply because of the recipients inbox volume - as a side note what is the inbox capacity?
So in those circumstances a genuine message can easily get lost so is a polite repeat not acceptable in the hope it might land when they are looking through their messages ? ????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If they haven’t replied to your first one what makes you think they will to your second, third, fourth……..
I’m not insane. No reply to a message sent means move on. |
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It's often stressful to get what can seem like chase-up messages from someone. All of your contact with everyone should be uplifting and positive. Adding stress is not positive.
If several months have passed, it's more reasonable to send a new message, as long as it doesn't appear like a chasing up of the first.
If there's been chat and it's stopped, it's wise to accept that signal as a 'no thanks'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We try to reply to all but the day I opened my single profile back up I got around 400 messages. After the first couple of dozen I deleted the lot and started again |
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"We try to reply to all but the day I opened my single profile back up I got around 400 messages. After the first couple of dozen I deleted the lot and started again "
Thanks for that contribution. That's what my main point is, there is a huge chance unread messages haven't even been considered because of the volume. So is it deemed acceptable to message again? Judging by most of the responses it's not, so I'll probably just stick to that. |
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"Im sick of guys who repeat message.. just this morning a guys messaged this is the 6th time, i havent replied as hes not for me, and im sick of replying to guys sorry not for me then they ask why? I dont usually block for these reasons but thinking im going to have to start"
I do thay aswell. Sometimes I reply no thank you and get the repeat messages how I don't know what I'm missing. It's easier to ignore that's not for you.
Yesterday someone managed to find pictures from my instagram to post to me with a mobile number that isn't mine. Don't know what his end game was but blocked regardless.
I see no reply and a clear messsge not to continue. I don't mind a double message if I've been chatting to someone and they added an extra bit of info or further photos but not straight away. |
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"We try to reply to all but the day I opened my single profile back up I got around 400 messages. After the first couple of dozen I deleted the lot and started again
Thanks for that contribution. That's what my main point is, there is a huge chance unread messages haven't even been considered because of the volume. So is it deemed acceptable to message again? Judging by most of the responses it's not, so I'll probably just stick to that. "
I would say no, stick to what you’re already doing and don’t message again.
At the end of the day you might consider the message you sent to be genuine and engaging and worthy of a response from this person you feel you will click with, so fine to send another one because you’re different to all the others… but so does every other guy who has messaged and most of them will do the same thing which is what contributes to so much of the traffic.
Sometimes it’s actually that sense of the person feeling that they are justified in being persistent because their message “deserves” to be read above the rest that can actually be a bit off putting (I’m not saying that’s what you’re suggesting at all, just how it can feel on the receiving end). |
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"We constantly receive msgs from single guys when it clearly states on the profile we're not looking for. To us it demonstrates they haven't read or don't care what the profile says.
Result.
Delete.
Might sound a bit harsh, but that's why we write a profile isn't it?? "
Can't you just set it so they can't message you |
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Interesting comments.
If a profile says they’re not looking for guys, I’m not going to message - simple
I was shown a screen grab yesterday from a lady I’m friends with here - over 300 messages in less than 6 hours (since she had made a status update)
If you are seeking a meet, how do you determine if one/two of those 300 are worthy? Mass delete, but then a 2nd message could be invited ?????
If you message just the once…a message which you’ve taken time to write based upon their profile etc and then walk away, waiting for a reply that may never come then does that not almost promote the copy and past approach (which itself is often criticised) ?
Not writing this to provoke, just observation and thoughts |
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"Interesting comments.
If a profile says they’re not looking for guys, I’m not going to message - simple
I was shown a screen grab yesterday from a lady I’m friends with here - over 300 messages in less than 6 hours (since she had made a status update)
If you are seeking a meet, how do you determine if one/two of those 300 are worthy? Mass delete, but then a 2nd message could be invited ?????
If you message just the once…a message which you’ve taken time to write based upon their profile etc and then walk away, waiting for a reply that may never come then does that not almost promote the copy and past approach (which itself is often criticised) ?
Not writing this to provoke, just observation and thoughts "
You're never going to please everyone.
But OP asked and we answered.
I've had it this evening. I'm chatting with friends sorting out weekend plans.
Just because I haven't immediately replied to someone I talked with yesterday I'm getting follow up emails.
It's annoying
And it doesn't make them look good
I don't mass delete ,but I can see your point . Maybe it's just the chance to take.
Upset a person by "pestering" or send one leave it and just move on
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"Interesting comments.
If a profile says they’re not looking for guys, I’m not going to message - simple
I was shown a screen grab yesterday from a lady I’m friends with here - over 300 messages in less than 6 hours (since she had made a status update)
If you are seeking a meet, how do you determine if one/two of those 300 are worthy? Mass delete, but then a 2nd message could be invited ?????
If you message just the once…a message which you’ve taken time to write based upon their profile etc and then walk away, waiting for a reply that may never come then does that not almost promote the copy and past approach (which itself is often criticised) ?
Not writing this to provoke, just observation and thoughts
You're never going to please everyone.
But OP asked and we answered.
I've had it this evening. I'm chatting with friends sorting out weekend plans.
Just because I haven't immediately replied to someone I talked with yesterday I'm getting follow up emails.
It's annoying
And it doesn't make them look good
I don't mass delete ,but I can see your point . Maybe it's just the chance to take.
Upset a person by "pestering" or send one leave it and just move on
"
Yep - stick or twist?
Been an interesting thread to follow and I can see both sides
To be totally honest I’m glad I’m male on here, not sure I could cope with the volume of stuff you ladies and couples experience on here…but thank you for persevering - hopefully those of us genuine guys rise up to you x |
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
Only if you're entitled  |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
It’s a fine line and everyone’s different
I know some ladies and couples that like being chased and I know others that don’t
This week I have been hit and miss replying to messages. Mainly as been busy with office work, and some real life stuff.
I may read then set to unread to reply at a time when I can.
I normally will send a message, if they don’t reply and I have met in person maybe a follow up a few days : week later
If not met in person then just slack it off and say ok they may not want to talk |
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Not so much frustrating but definitely strange to me is couples making it crystal clear they aren’t interested in single guys then looking at my profile (sometimes a few times) without ever having known about them let alone messaged them at any time either. I don’t see the point of blind messaging as I know couples and single women get loads (often thoughtless and classless one or two worders) from single guys. I just prefer to maybe meet people at clubs/parties etc first then perhaps keep in touch after on here or however if they’d like to. If they don’t then no problem at all. I have enough pressure in vanilla world with work etc so have no interest in it here and is a key reason why I like swing world including the social side of it all. |
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"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If they haven’t replied to your first one what makes you think they will to your second, third, fourth……..
I’m not insane. No reply to a message sent means move on. "
Not necessarily, an unread message may just have been lost/ignored in an avalanche of messages. I pay for silver site supporter, so I can use the private note function against a profile. This is useful for all sorts of things  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only send one, if it goes unead or not replied then I move on.
I'm not emotionaly invested in a message and my ego is a bit more sterdy.
I have started to block those that go unread o not replied from other forumites who do the same, simply so I don't get tempeted to try again, waist of time."
I did this for a while. Now I just leave private notes against their profiles to remind me .. I still maintain regardless of any so called 'rules' that no replies to a courteous hello is rude and I highlight this in the note so I don't message again. Quite handy. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If they haven’t replied to your first one what makes you think they will to your second, third, fourth……..
I’m not insane. No reply to a message sent means move on.
Not necessarily, an unread message may just have been lost/ignored in an avalanche of messages. I pay for silver site supporter, so I can use the private note function against a profile. This is useful for all sorts of things "
But once the new notifications feature is working for everyone their is no avalanche the user will see the message within that without opening it nor being on the site  |
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"Interesting comments.
If a profile says they’re not looking for guys, I’m not going to message - simple
I was shown a screen grab yesterday from a lady I’m friends with here - over 300 messages in less than 6 hours (since she had made a status update)
If you are seeking a meet, how do you determine if one/two of those 300 are worthy? Mass delete, but then a 2nd message could be invited ?????
If you message just the once…a message which you’ve taken time to write based upon their profile etc and then walk away, waiting for a reply that may never come then does that not almost promote the copy and past approach (which itself is often criticised) ?
Not writing this to provoke, just observation and thoughts "
The thing is, the guys who send
“Hey”
“How’s u”
“Fuck?”
“Can I ask a question”
“Can u accom” (I can’t)
Also consider to be genuine thought out messages after they’ve “read my profile” 
If everyone just took the approach NOT TO SEND A FOLLOW UP we could all live in harmony… that’s a pipe dream of course but at the very least, if you aren’t one of them then don’t act like it! I do read my messages and it stands out to me more (the bar is in hell) when someone has sent a good message with no follow up, even if I haven’t gotten round to it for a while, vs someone who’s repeatedly tried to bump theirs on the basis they think it’s better than everyone else’s. |
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
I wouldn't bother. People who i don't reply to and who keeps sending me messages, I have to block them. I don't have enough time to speak to everyone. So no reply or read means 99% not interested. Don't waste eachother time by trying again |
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I’m going probably against the common belief but women who know what they are looking for, really don’t get so many messages.
They use filters to stop unwanted attention.
If someone claims they get hundreds of messages it’s because they want to. It’s really not that difficult to set up filters, hide your profile for a while or block certain groups.
What I’m going to say is really simple. No reply is your reply in itself and there’s no point of trying to justify it. |
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"I’m going probably against the common belief but women who know what they are looking for, really don’t get so many messages.
They use filters to stop unwanted attention.
If someone claims they get hundreds of messages it’s because they want to. It’s really not that difficult to set up filters, hide your profile for a while or block certain groups.
What I’m going to say is really simple. No reply is your reply in itself and there’s no point of trying to justify it. "
I agree to an extent, even with very strict filters I still got a lot of messages up until recently and that wasn’t because I wanted them, it was just because there are so many men on here in my desired age range and so many that see nothing wrong with talking to themselves in your inbox over the course of multiple unanswered messages. Now because I’ve spent some time actively blocking profiles I come across that I know I’ll never be interested in, or those that message me rude or inane shite, the volume is pretty low.
Funny enough too I did get criticised on here recently for posting a thread asking for advice on how to deal with still receiving messages when I do hide my profile because I don’t want to chat. |
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"Now because I’ve spent some time actively blocking profiles I come across that I know I’ll never be interested in, or those that message me rude or inane shite, the volume is pretty low "
I totally agree with you. I forgot to mention blocking, as another very useful tool provided by the website. I do actively block a lot too, and it helps definitely with reducing the volume. |
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"Now because I’ve spent some time actively blocking profiles I come across that I know I’ll never be interested in, or those that message me rude or inane shite, the volume is pretty low
I totally agree with you. I forgot to mention blocking, as another very useful tool provided by the website. I do actively block a lot too, and it helps definitely with reducing the volume."
I told a friend of mine that I block people who have never interacted with me yet and he was appalled surely it saves everyone‘s time!! |
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"We constantly receive msgs from single guys when it clearly states on the profile we're not looking for. To us it demonstrates they haven't read or don't care what the profile says.
Result.
Delete.
Might sound a bit harsh, but that's why we write a profile isn't it?? "
Most people single guys included, can't read or decide that what you've written doesn't apply to them & that they'd change your mind. We are not looking for single males & don't get bombarded with messages as they are blocked from contacting us, interested to know why you don't block? |
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By *nasuitMan
over a year ago
Ruislip |
I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations."
So you are telling people what to do with their own profile, why should they do what you ask ?
You messaged them they don't have to do anything that they themselves don't want to do.
Read the site rules OP, they are as clear as day
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"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations."
My suggestion would be to delete it from your outbox to save yourself the stress of overanalysing rather than put that responsibility on someone else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
If someone doesn't respond to your original message in an appropriate time, just delete the conversation and move on. I'd even block the person. |
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How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
"
There is no way of knowing |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
"
If they've got to the point of viewing the profile, if was interested would've responded to the message |
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
... only if you send cock pics too |
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"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations."
I do one better now, I just block as the same guys just keeps messaging, forgetting they already messaged me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations.
I do one better now, I just block as the same guys just keeps messaging, forgetting they already messaged me "
Nice to not be reminded off someone you don’t like and it’s never gonna work out anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
Probably best to leave it. No reply or leaving unopened is a no thanks already |
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By *nasuitMan
over a year ago
Ruislip |
"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations.
I do one better now, I just block as the same guys just keeps messaging, forgetting they already messaged me "
Deleted and blocked is the pinnacle of Noooooo!
It's clear and un-ambiguous, I feel I've achieved. |
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I will give some hope. I messaged a lady who I really liked the look of who lived pretty close. First time didn't read message. Second time she read and deleted. Then she hid her profile. Few months later she came back. I tried my luck again. Met few days later. We were naked within 10 mins of meeting. Became my partner. Dreams do come true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will give some hope. I messaged a lady who I really liked the look of who lived pretty close. First time didn't read message. Second time she read and deleted. Then she hid her profile. Few months later she came back. I tried my luck again. Met few days later. We were naked within 10 mins of meeting. Became my partner. Dreams do come true "
With your story you have now you have just opened the floodgates of repeat messages which is exactly what people don't want, well done |
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
Send me the same message twice if I don’t respond
I am not fussy about this things and if you slip through the net I apologise it can sometimes be really busy if I put something on my status and put new pics on
As for lady new users they can never ever read all their messages
I was unverified and could not read over 100 messages in one day plus I ran out of messages as unverified users have limited replies
So I would say keep trying especially if they are in Aberdeen xx
|
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"I will give some hope. I messaged a lady who I really liked the look of who lived pretty close. First time didn't read message. Second time she read and deleted. Then she hid her profile. Few months later she came back. I tried my luck again. Met few days later. We were naked within 10 mins of meeting. Became my partner. Dreams do come true
With your story you have now you have just opened the floodgates of repeat messages which is exactly what people don't want, well done "
I think you overestimate my power and that of the Forum as most Fab users never see it at all.
Well some people don't want. There are plenty who don't care or actually do want (see post above mine). Again not sure ladies posting on Forum are necessarily representative of the all of Fab. They are a small sliver.
Sorry anyway, just trying to spread some positivity as reading so many messages on here of people struggling and complaining is a bit depressing at times and not necessarily representative. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"I will give some hope. I messaged a lady who I really liked the look of who lived pretty close. First time didn't read message. Second time she read and deleted. Then she hid her profile. Few months later she came back. I tried my luck again. Met few days later. We were naked within 10 mins of meeting. Became my partner. Dreams do come true "
But this was mutually beneficial not everything is so doesn't work always work back to drawing plan |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing"
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected. "
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site "
What new features? |
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Personally I find it a little weird when people keep a message unread for ever especially when they have been exchanging messages before. If you don't want to continue the conversation, fair enough. But don't pretend you have not read the message and keep it unread for ever. Yes I know women get trillions of messages and could not be responding etc but that's not what I am talking about.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Personally I find it a little weird when people keep a message unread for ever especially when they have been exchanging messages before. If you don't want to continue the conversation, fair enough. But don't pretend you have not read the message and keep it unread for ever. Yes I know women get trillions of messages and could not be responding etc but that's not what I am talking about. "
They may have gotten a better offer and keeping you on the back burner, not great but it's their in box to do as they please.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I have filters open I get a few messages and it’s really easy to miss a good one, so I don’t generally mind a second one, as long as it’s not copy and paste, or berating me for not replying to the first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When I have filters open I get a few messages and it’s really easy to miss a good one, so I don’t generally mind a second one, as long as it’s not copy and paste, or berating me for not replying to the first."
I always find it funny when you get a 2nd text being angry about a no reply. I mean where do they think the exchange will go now lol x |
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I do get lots 100s messages everyday I try to answer all just to be polite, but I can't keep up with them I have 165 in my in box I can't answer them, if you send again I don't think its a bad thing xx |
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"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If they haven’t replied to your first one what makes you think they will to your second, third, fourth……..
I’m not insane. No reply to a message sent means move on.
Not necessarily, an unread message may just have been lost/ignored in an avalanche of messages. I pay for silver site supporter, so I can use the private note function against a profile. This is useful for all sorts of things "
What's the private note function? |
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"Personally I find it a little weird when people keep a message unread for ever especially when they have been exchanging messages before. If you don't want to continue the conversation, fair enough. But don't pretend you have not read the message and keep it unread for ever. Yes I know women get trillions of messages and could not be responding etc but that's not what I am talking about.
They may have gotten a better offer and keeping you on the back burner, not great but it's their in box to do as they please.
"
Perhaps, who knows. Each to their own. Personally I like a tidy desk. Never more than a few messages either in inbox or sent. As for unread, only keep one if I intend to reply later as can't do it just now. I don't see this as any different to any other messaging system but that's me and I am sure others may see it ir choose to operate it differently. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features? "
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site "
Oh didn't know that but tbf i don't recieve notifications. |
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"Personally I find it a little weird when people keep a message unread for ever especially when they have been exchanging messages before. If you don't want to continue the conversation, fair enough. But don't pretend you have not read the message and keep it unread for ever. Yes I know women get trillions of messages and could not be responding etc but that's not what I am talking about. "
Unread or bulk delete is easier as it becomes really draining on the soul replying to everyone you're not interested in. 10 to 200 people a day? Got to be realistic men, you're not the only one here looking for someone. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
Oh didn't know that but tbf i don't recieve notifications."
It's one of the site new features link on your update page too activity then set up via the browser for the site to use handy tool |
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Must be my age that I enjoy checking that whoever I sound an initial message to has the same wants, needs and desires as me ? Of course that I’m the right age and that if a couple they actually want a single guys to send a message ( but might have neglected to put a block on )
So with this in mind I must get loads of replies ? Lol
Nope !
But as I check to see who’s read my message I they have I take it as a no thank you better luck with someone else
Keep messaging isn’t fair so I don’t
Think some need to realise it’s a swinging site not a sex site ??? |
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"Must be my age that I enjoy checking that whoever I sound an initial message to has the same wants, needs and desires as me ? Of course that I’m the right age and that if a couple they actually want a single guys to send a message ( but might have neglected to put a block on )
So with this in mind I must get loads of replies ? Lol
Nope !
But as I check to see who’s read my message I they have I take it as a no thank you better luck with someone else
Keep messaging isn’t fair so I don’t
Think some need to realise it’s a swinging site not a sex site ??? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly, this site is not worth putting too much thought into. If folk don't reply to a first message don't bother with a second. Swinging is supposed to be fun, not stressing over internet messages. |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site "
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read? "
It's called a notification! Don't you read the site news?
|
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
It's called a notification! Don't you read the site news?
"
What site news?
Anyway, we're getting a bit off-topic. As far as I can tell, my point stands: It's not fair to get mad at someone for messaging again if they have no way of knowing the recipient read their first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
It's called a notification! Don't you read the site news?
What site news?
Anyway, we're getting a bit off-topic. As far as I can tell, my point stands: It's not fair to get mad at someone for messaging again if they have no way of knowing the recipient read their first message. "
.
Agreed. Correct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find that there are a lot of women on here with unnecessary high standards, especially for what they look like themselves! I think fab gives them a confidence that makes them think they're better than they are. I've had guys message me and I've replied and they've been shocked, some I have a right laugh with. I have also noticed many guys drop their usual standards just to get laid on here and they end up sleeping with some right nasties just for a veri! The type of nasties that wouldn't usually get looked at twice in the street  |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read? "
Have you checked your update page their is a link to activate so you can receive notifications from messages which you are able to read the entire message without being online... Was a post up by mod/admin recently |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
It's called a notification! Don't you read the site news?
What site news?
Anyway, we're getting a bit off-topic. As far as I can tell, my point stands: It's not fair to get mad at someone for messaging again if they have no way of knowing the recipient read their first message. .
Agreed. Correct."
So you choose to ignore the information by the site which notifies that you've already sent a message which is above ignorance is bliss but comes handy for knowing who to block |
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Respect to you tinysecret nice and blunt and honest and I say that in open forum for any man who agrees but doesn't wanna agree and upset there chances of getting messages, I don't care I applaud your message lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect to you tinysecret nice and blunt and honest and I say that in open forum for any man who agrees but doesn't wanna agree and upset there chances of getting messages, I don't care I applaud your message lol "
It's the best way to be. Folk don't like honest people because they get upset, but I don't like to lie either. If people can't accept the truth, they shouldn't be on here. I welcome all insults, compliments etc. Each to their own opinion, all should be respected. If someone insults me I reply with a thumbs up to let them know I've acknowledged it but they won't get a bite out of me |
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I understand its tough for single guys on here and I get it that few women will get pissed off getting unwanted messages, but the messages you done here do ring true and I know there be men on here agreeing. women who rarely post in forums but read forum post will totally agree too and I know that for a fact because I get pm messages but it's very rare for a woman to openly open up so again absolutely respect love honesty. And just incase anyone thinking oh his getting in her good books cause he wants her. Wrong. |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
Have you checked your update page their is a link to activate so you can receive notifications from messages which you are able to read the entire message without being online... Was a post up by mod/admin recently "
What "update page"? Do you mean the local updates feed? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do wish people would press the delete button more often though. Read but not replied often gives you a false hope that they are somehow analysing or digesting the message a bit more considering their options or thinking of a witty reply. Whereas delete is a definite no thanks.
For those having difficulty it is the button marked Delete when you open the message or the little bin symbol to the right in your inbox if you can't be arsed to open the message. It really is just one simple click and the message is gone, along with my hopes and dreams and aspirations.
I do one better now, I just block as the same guys just keeps messaging, forgetting they already messaged me "
That's because you haven't replied so the thread doesn't appear as a conversation so they won't know what they've sent only that they messaged and an approximate time ago. Hence I leave private notes now against profiles to remind me .. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
Have you checked your update page their is a link to activate so you can receive notifications from messages which you are able to read the entire message without being online... Was a post up by mod/admin recently
What "update page"? Do you mean the local updates feed? "
Yes was on their now I think it's via the by clicking account manage emails |
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By *laleeWoman
over a year ago
over the rainbow |
"I find that there are a lot of women on here with unnecessary high standards, especially for what they look like themselves! I think fab gives them a confidence that makes them think they're better than they are. I've had guys message me and I've replied and they've been shocked, some I have a right laugh with. I have also noticed many guys drop their usual standards just to get laid on here and they end up sleeping with some right nasties just for a veri! The type of nasties that wouldn't usually get looked at twice in the street "
absolutely true statement..puts me right off  |
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"I find that there are a lot of women on here with unnecessary high standards, especially for what they look like themselves! I think fab gives them a confidence that makes them think they're better than they are. I've had guys message me and I've replied and they've been shocked, some I have a right laugh with. I have also noticed many guys drop their usual standards just to get laid on here and they end up sleeping with some right nasties just for a veri! The type of nasties that wouldn't usually get looked at twice in the street "
Yes agree with you as I'm guilty of it too but when you been in situations where you weren't happy or fulfilled, why isn't it possible to be "abit more picky" if you have the choice. To me it's like I won the lottery and can pick what ever car to drive lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find that there are a lot of women on here with unnecessary high standards, especially for what they look like themselves! I think fab gives them a confidence that makes them think they're better than they are. I've had guys message me and I've replied and they've been shocked, some I have a right laugh with. I have also noticed many guys drop their usual standards just to get laid on here and they end up sleeping with some right nasties just for a veri! The type of nasties that wouldn't usually get looked at twice in the street
Yes agree with you as I'm guilty of it too but when you been in situations where you weren't happy or fulfilled, why isn't it possible to be "abit more picky" if you have the choice. To me it's like I won the lottery and can pick what ever car to drive lol "
Don't think I've seen any high end cars on fab tbh, are you sure you didn't just win a pound on a scratch card? |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
Have you checked your update page their is a link to activate so you can receive notifications from messages which you are able to read the entire message without being online... Was a post up by mod/admin recently
What "update page"? Do you mean the local updates feed?
Yes was on their now I think it's via the by clicking account manage emails "
My local updates feed only shows me posts from the last two days, so if it appeared there it's long since gone without me seeing it. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
There is no way of knowing
Exactly. Therefore I think it's a touch unreasonable to get mad at someone for sending a second message if they've no way of knowing their first message, or their profile, has been seen and rejected.
But the new features of receiving notifications rules out everything you've mentioned as you don't need to be on the site
What new features?
You don't need to be on the site and receive a notification with the entire message which can be read without opening the message on the site
I'm not sure I understand. You're saying there's a secret new way for recipients to see the contents of a message without the sender knowing it's been read?
Have you checked your update page their is a link to activate so you can receive notifications from messages which you are able to read the entire message without being online... Was a post up by mod/admin recently
What "update page"? Do you mean the local updates feed?
Yes was on their now I think it's via the by clicking account manage emails
My local updates feed only shows me posts from the last two days, so if it appeared there it's long since gone without me seeing it. "
It's no longer there was good as you saw the entire message within the notification the email one doesn't unless I'm missing something haven't changed anything |
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By *eFCUKaLotCouple
over a year ago
somewhere close |
"We give someone 24hrs to reply, if they don’t in that time, delete & block.
Wow! Brutal "
Yes it is harsh but when people reach out to us, back & forth message for a few hours then just stop mid conversation then reply 4 hours later, rinse & repeat, block & delete. Better things to do with our time then have what normally would take 10 minutes to say in messages but instead it’s spread out over 24 hrs. By this time, you’ve lost us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We give someone 24hrs to reply, if they don’t in that time, delete & block.
Wow! Brutal
Yes it is harsh but when people reach out to us, back & forth message for a few hours then just stop mid conversation then reply 4 hours later, rinse & repeat, block & delete. Better things to do with our time then have what normally would take 10 minutes to say in messages but instead it’s spread out over 24 hrs. By this time, you’ve lost us. "
I see what you mean and agree that it's frustrating but some people have so many conversations going at once, it's difficult to keep up with them all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We give someone 24hrs to reply, if they don’t in that time, delete & block.
Wow! Brutal
Yes it is harsh but when people reach out to us, back & forth message for a few hours then just stop mid conversation then reply 4 hours later, rinse & repeat, block & delete. Better things to do with our time then have what normally would take 10 minutes to say in messages but instead it’s spread out over 24 hrs. By this time, you’ve lost us. "
Reply 4hrs later, do you mean they should only concentrate on you and not, work, drive look after kids, go to see friends or family ie have a life outside of fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Normally if they haven't read my message (after 4-5 days) i check if they have been online, if they have been online I make a note that it was unread, I delete the orginal and move on.
I never block though as you never know they may come across your profile at a later date .. but I wouldn't send a second message either, for reasons stated in other posts |
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I am really sorry as I know some of you will not like this. I find leaving messages unread for ever when they have clearly read them (especially when they clicked on profile or have chatted for ages) strange imo. Not interested, just bin it or even block. Why keep it as unread pretending you haven't read it. I appreciate women get lots of messages etc and I am not talking about that. It's when you have been talking and exchanging messages, no issues or anything changing but then they may have changed their mind and for some reason keep your last message unread even though they have been online loads and have clearly read it. It feels like childish games to me. Each to their own, and of course nobody owes you a reply and can manage their inbox as they wish but I still find it strange ghosting someone in this manner. No big deal though, just on case it raises the blood pressure of someone on here who may strongly disagree |
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"I am really sorry as I know some of you will not like this. I find leaving messages unread for ever when they have clearly read them (especially when they clicked on profile or have chatted for ages) strange imo. Not interested, just bin it or even block. Why keep it as unread pretending you haven't read it. I appreciate women get lots of messages etc and I am not talking about that. It's when you have been talking and exchanging messages, no issues or anything changing but then they may have changed their mind and for some reason keep your last message unread even though they have been online loads and have clearly read it. It feels like childish games to me. Each to their own, and of course nobody owes you a reply and can manage their inbox as they wish but I still find it strange ghosting someone in this manner. No big deal though, just on case it raises the blood pressure of someone on here who may strongly disagree "
I’m probably guilty of this. I’ll read a message, not have time right then to respond as I’d like to, so mark it as unread to come back to. Then, not to sound big headed, but loads of messages then come in, which push that message way down the page. Which means it gets forgotten about. Not an excuse, but equally not playing games either! |
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"I am really sorry as I know some of you will not like this. I find leaving messages unread for ever when they have clearly read them (especially when they clicked on profile or have chatted for ages) strange imo. Not interested, just bin it or even block. Why keep it as unread pretending you haven't read it. I appreciate women get lots of messages etc and I am not talking about that. It's when you have been talking and exchanging messages, no issues or anything changing but then they may have changed their mind and for some reason keep your last message unread even though they have been online loads and have clearly read it. It feels like childish games to me. Each to their own, and of course nobody owes you a reply and can manage their inbox as they wish but I still find it strange ghosting someone in this manner. No big deal though, just on case it raises the blood pressure of someone on here who may strongly disagree
I’m probably guilty of this. I’ll read a message, not have time right then to respond as I’d like to, so mark it as unread to come back to. Then, not to sound big headed, but loads of messages then come in, which push that message way down the page. Which means it gets forgotten about. Not an excuse, but equally not playing games either!"
That sounds fair enough. It's really more about people you have established a conversatio and then suddenly do that. They may have a reason of course, but either share the reason or just delete is what I think. |
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So as a horny man I sit and watch all the pretty ladies so I send them a message and get nothing back, can’t a N be sent back weather read or not just to stop us sending another message which annoys |
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"So as a horny man I sit and watch all the pretty ladies so I send them a message and get nothing back, can’t a N be sent back weather read or not just to stop us sending another message which annoys "
You could always, I don’t know, not send another message if there’s clearly no interest? I don’t think it should be up to message recipients to manage poor impulse control! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am really sorry as I know some of you will not like this. I find leaving messages unread for ever when they have clearly read them (especially when they clicked on profile or have chatted for ages) strange imo. Not interested, just bin it or even block. Why keep it as unread pretending you haven't read it. I appreciate women get lots of messages etc and I am not talking about that. It's when you have been talking and exchanging messages, no issues or anything changing but then they may have changed their mind and for some reason keep your last message unread even though they have been online loads and have clearly read it. It feels like childish games to me. Each to their own, and of course nobody owes you a reply and can manage their inbox as they wish but I still find it strange ghosting someone in this manner. No big deal though, just on case it raises the blood pressure of someone on here who may strongly disagree
I’m probably guilty of this. I’ll read a message, not have time right then to respond as I’d like to, so mark it as unread to come back to. Then, not to sound big headed, but loads of messages then come in, which push that message way down the page. Which means it gets forgotten about. Not an excuse, but equally not playing games either!"
Yep .. this is why fab doesn't work by and large for conversation and any kind of planning or for say the more modest and humble among us. It's really about the pictures and the need right now that invariably gets the most reliable meet I think. I'm certainly not able to reply in 24hrs all the time.. most of us have a life, a fairly busy life. I think the site needs a few more functions to enhance the experience and try to reduce the huge amount of negative experiences in here for both single guys and women looking for guys mostly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use private notes a lot .. really handy as message threads disappear and people change their pictures etc .. it can be quite amusing how you get a keen message from someone who was previously rude and not interested 6 months ago..  |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
"
You can’t tell mate. Just use the private note feature, and delete any unreplied message after 7 days or so. It stops you stressing
Best advice would be; message while the person is online. That seems to get more responses for me |
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"How is the sender supposed to tell the difference between:
a) a message that hasn't been read because the recipient looked at the sender's profile and didn't like it, and
b) a message that hasn't been read because it's buried under 500 FAF one-liners?
You can’t tell mate. Just use the private note feature, and delete any unreplied message after 7 days or so. It stops you stressing
Best advice would be; message while the person is online. That seems to get more responses for me "
Where's the private note feature? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Persistence might pay off in the world of Sales but simple rule here is if someone is seriously looking for something and they are interested, they will reply!
What's the fun in getting a pity response?! |
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"I generally never message anyone a second time if they haven't replied to my original message. I understand women get loads of messages so my question is, if the message is unread is it acceptable to resend a message with the view that the original was just missed in the deluge? "
No. I read then unread if they are not interesting. A 2nd message would get you blocked |
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Just be patient and read profiles... Ladies will probably after sometimes you just get overwhelmed by messages, for example 1 guy has sent me 8 messages and the last one actually says why haven't you replied you have been online.... Not great really |
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No. Not in my opinion.
If I haven’t read it yet you’re just filling my inbox more with the same stuff and making it take even longer to read them, which means I mass delete all!
you can see if they have read or deleted it or not so not sure the purpose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We read and reply to every message, even if it’s a simple no thanks we find it’s better to be up front and honest. We wouldn’t like to be left hanging so we won’t do it to others "
We're the same, we'd rather reply and have them know how we stand.
When we're inundated with messages, like when we're seeking, then we may have a copy and paste we send to the majority, but we usually always respond politely. |
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