FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Can’t find anyone
Can’t find anyone
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?"
Are you sure your profile presents you in the best light possible? Shows what you have to offer, makes you stand out from all the other single men on here? |
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By *m_hardMan
over a year ago
Swaffham |
It might be because it takes a few days for enough of the locals to notice your profile and by then you have gone to the next city and hotel. Maybe you could change your location prior to actually arriving.
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"It might be because it takes a few days for enough of the locals to notice your profile and by then you have gone to the next city and hotel. Maybe you could change your location prior to actually arriving.
"
I’ve been on this website for a few years, not actively but I’ve been on here abit and messaged multiple women / couples and never seem to get a response. It’s only yesterday I’ve came back on due to getting a new job that I travel for so looking to get back into this |
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Are you sure your profile presents you in the best light possible? Shows what you have to offer, makes you stand out from all the other single men on here? "
Tbh I haven’t really put any effort into my profile so maybe you’re right. |
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By *m_hardMan
over a year ago
Swaffham |
"I’ve been on this website for a few years, not actively but I’ve been on here abit and messaged multiple women / couples and never seem to get a response. It’s only yesterday I’ve came back on due to getting a new job that I travel for so looking to get back into this "
Ah ok. Just persevere, don't give up, there are some really nice people on this site. Wishing you plenty of hot meets.
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?"
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol. |
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"I’ve been on this website for a few years, not actively but I’ve been on here abit and messaged multiple women / couples and never seem to get a response. It’s only yesterday I’ve came back on due to getting a new job that I travel for so looking to get back into this
Ah ok. Just persevere, don't give up, there are some really nice people on this site. Wishing you plenty of hot meets.
"
Much appreciated, I think it’s hard to get into swinging as a single male but I hope I can get into it. From the little experience in swinging I’ve had I’ve loved it! |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol. "
Try getting to know them build up a connection as you've mentioned that you do read others bio which is helpful to give you ideas so you can create something that fits around you personally be creative and use imagination the chat rooms are a great way to connect with others |
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol.
Try getting to know them build up a connection as you've mentioned that you do read others bio which is helpful to give you ideas so you can create something that fits around you personally be creative and use imagination the chat rooms are a great way to connect with others "
How do I get onto the chat rooms? Cannot find that option |
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By *rUKsc OP Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Its hard to meet a woman on here for sure, I been here for 3 months and still haven't met anyone yet"
I feel your pain. I want to get into going to the clubs aswell but don’t know where to begin ?? |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol.
Try getting to know them build up a connection as you've mentioned that you do read others bio which is helpful to give you ideas so you can create something that fits around you personally be creative and use imagination the chat rooms are a great way to connect with others
How do I get onto the chat rooms? Cannot find that option"
Click home at the top and scroll down |
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"Its hard to meet a woman on here for sure, I been here for 3 months and still haven't met anyone yet
I feel your pain. I want to get into going to the clubs aswell but don’t know where to begin ??"
3 months is a very short time on fab, and meeting through messaging can be more luck than judgement. I've been on here for about 7 years and only had 3 meets through messaging from a single guys profile. Although I don't really try to be honest.
Had more success with meets messaging from the couples profile I have with a friend.
As for clubs, find one near to wherever you are, check out the entry details and take yourself down there.  |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol. "
And a message saying ‘hey’ and then up for meeting would not get any further with me I would just delete and not even bother replying and I know a lot of people are the same.
We get hundreds of messages so you need it to stand out.
Don’t have time for all that dealing with hey, etc so put more effort into your first message |
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And a message saying ‘hey’ and then up for meeting would not get any further with me I would just delete and not even bother replying and I know a lot of people are the same.
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I agree. There needs to be some rapport for me before discussing meeting |
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"I’ve been on this website for a few years, not actively but I’ve been on here abit and messaged multiple women / couples and never seem to get a response. It’s only yesterday I’ve came back on due to getting a new job that I travel for so looking to get back into this
Ah ok. Just persevere, don't give up, there are some really nice people on this site. Wishing you plenty of hot meets.
Much appreciated, I think it’s hard to get into swinging as a single male but I hope I can get into it. From the little experience in swinging I’ve had I’ve loved it!"
It sounds a bit like you are after a quick shag in whatever town you are visiting rather than swinging. Nothing wrong with that of course but probably not many interested in that as you are finding out. My partner and I get a lot of messages from men passing through saying in hotels for work and they are all struggling. We've met maybe one out of hundreds when things lined up and we were in the mood.
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"I dont message women with just "hey" or any crude message, my messages are well thought of and still get no reply or get deleted"
Perhaps something about your profile that is off-putting? But yep it is hard work. |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Without knowing what you're actually doing it's difficult to say.
What are you doing?
So I check on who’s near or who’s local, and check to see what they are looking for. Some profiles say to include a word in the message to let them know you’ve read it etc but ultimately I just send a message saying hey! Followed by up for meeting or something in response to their profile. Gets read and no reply lol. "
.
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When we receive a message with those lines or similar, we just delete it.
The lack of effort is off-putting and at times is almost disrespectful.
If you want to meet others then make the effort with your message.
You will get nowhere with a few words where-as a good message that is interesting and appealing to the recipients will put your chances of getting laid a lot higher.
Write your message and read it as if had been sent to you. If it seems wrong or not appealing, then it's just that and it won't help you to get laid. So rewrite it until you feel it's right.
Remember that the message is just the introduction/icebreaker, nothing more than that and it's no guarantee of a shag.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Expectations would be my first thought.
Effort would be my second.
Pretty much everyone you message will check out your profile before even considering opening what you have sent them, so you need to make sure it is the best it can possibly be.
Many of those who may be interested will want to build up a rapport with you before thinking about actually meeting, by which time, you might have moved on.
Any many on fab won't entertain the idea of meeting someone who is just visiting the area for a few days |
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"Dont get it twisted, I dont or didnt expect to meet anyone straight away, I rather take my time to know someone before we meet up for something social first"
Not sure who are replying to (quote reply is a good idea) but think people are generally referring to the OP in terms of expecting quick meets. |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?"
Search a reasonable distance from your location.
Remember to select "people looking to meet people my age"
Also, as you are a smoker, it saves some time by selecting "willing to meet smokers"
A "hey" message would get only a delete from me.
Spend some time in the forum's, there are conversations about anything and everything here.
Find people with similar interests.
Yes some people are looking for a quick shag with a total stranger, but most are looking for a connection first |
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"Too be honest I'm beginning to think some women on here are stuck up on here"
Some women may be (as are some men) but lots of wonderful ones as well. If struggling perhaps think what you could do different rather than moaning about the ladies.....change something in your profile that might be putting them off? change something in the way you message or attitude? attend organise social? attend house party? attend a club? I'm off to a big social in a few weeks 50 people and roughly 50/50 m/f split including couples and lots of singles. Sure will make some new contacts. I met my partner via Fab through normal messaging but also met some wonderful ladies at events. |
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"Too be honest I'm beginning to think some women on here are stuck up on here"
I was going to say something positive about you but then saw this post and your status! Yes women ARE stuck up on fab. We get to be! Meeting a man for sex is not a small thing for a woman, even a woman who does it regularly. It's risky, and a man is lucky to get the opportunity. Some men don't like it at all that women have the balance of power on fab but don't forget once we are in your car/house/room we no longer have the power so we have to be picky, careful and cautious. Not only that we WANT to be picky. We have the right!
Well done though for advertising your sense of entitlement and bitterness. That will definitely help you get matches  |
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As you asked:
- Your photos aren't great.
- Your profile displays no effort
- You've revealed that you're not putting any effort into messages
- Your attitude sucks (going by status)
What were you expecting?
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"Didnt say it did "
You are so right. Juat keep doing what you do. This is gonna work out so well foe you!
Or, my prediction: delete your profile and start a new one to distance yourself from *some* self-destructive comments.  |
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I had to come to a conclusion where you got to rememmber. The ratio of men to woman is crazy. A lady will have multiple messages to go to whereas us men have to just keep trying. Sooner or later i believe it will happen  |
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"Its funny how Im getting stick for saying women are stuck up (although Im not refering to all of them) but certain men said worse thing then that on here but nobody says anything about that"
What's your point? That you shouldn't have been picked-up on your bullshit statement or that others shouldn't be picked up on theirs? |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?"
your a guy, most women don't seem to be interested. You could go for years with no luck here. I've been here for coming up for 15 years and had one meet. You'll no doubt get a ton of let downs,stabbed in the back by girls,no shows,etc,like most guys here I expect.
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"Its funny how Im getting stick for saying women are stuck up (although Im not refering to all of them) but certain men said worse thing then that on here but nobody says anything about that"
You didn't say "some" originally - it was a sweeping statement and status. Men (and ladies) do generally get picked up on things. I think when you are moaning rather often about not being able to get to meet ladies and have a lot of negativity in comments and status updates and profile you are setting yourself up for people to comment. When is your birthday? Want a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? Be positive, be fun, be friendly. I just wish I had your body. Your body, my brain, we could go a long way |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong? your a guy, most women don't seem to be interested. You could go for years with no luck here. I've been here for coming up for 15 years and had one meet. You'll no doubt get a ton of let downs,stabbed in the back by girls,no shows,etc,like most guys here I expect."
Bit like sex - you get out what you put in. Or is it the other way around. |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?"
your a guy, most women don't seem to be interested. You could go for years with no luck here. I've been here for coming up for 15 years and had one meet. You'll no doubt get a ton of let downs,stabbed in the back by girls,no shows,etc,like most guys here I expect.
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I genuinely feel sorry for single men on here, it seems so hard for you all - it’s such a saturated market. My best advice would be to meet couples in sex/swingers clubs and then maintain the connection on here rather than on here 1st. Anything we’ve ever done with single guys has been that way. Good luck. |
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"Can’t seem to find anyone to meet with ??????? What am I doing wrong?
Are you sure your profile presents you in the best light possible? Shows what you have to offer, makes you stand out from all the other single men on here?
Tbh I haven’t really put any effort into my profile so maybe you’re right."
Your profile is your shop window..
Step back and look at it... would you honestly go inside the store?! |
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