FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Being more approachable
Being more approachable
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, been on here a while but not having much luck with even getting past a couple of messages or the odd fake. We have been verified but obviously want to be discreet and can share information when we feel right. Have let our membership/subscription run out because if it.
What else can we do to be more involved and get some responses. Appreciate any advice. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I'm not your target audience,but if you're both getting involved some idea of what the male looks like would help you.
Bi fems are in demand and can be picky & would need to be attracted to you both. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone, been on here a while but not having much luck with even getting past a couple of messages or the odd fake. We have been verified but obviously want to be discreet and can share information when we feel right. Have let our membership/subscription run out because if it.
What else can we do to be more involved and get some responses. Appreciate any advice. "
We have exactly the same experience. Think clubs might be a good place to meet people. Socials are great too. We went to a big event recently with nearly 200 people. There was a Discord chat before the event so people could get to one each other. There's another one in July that we're going to. |
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Definitely only share etc, at your own pace.
More pics of you both will help to satisfy more of the couples looking.
I'd encourage you to visit clubs, to hang out and get to know others. Most chats will fade to nothing, as lack of mutual compatibility becomes clear. |
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"Hi everyone, been on here a while but not having much luck with even getting past a couple of messages or the odd fake. We have been verified but obviously want to be discreet and can share information when we feel right. Have let our membership/subscription run out because if it.
What else can we do to be more involved and get some responses. Appreciate any advice. "
You only have one public photo!
Be proactive,go to clubs socials. |
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I’d want more photos of the pair of you; there’s loads of ways to do that without identifying yourselves.
The balance is way in favour of single females, so saying you won’t message first seems a bit odd to me. |
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"I’d want more photos of the pair of you; there’s loads of ways to do that without identifying yourselves.
The balance is way in favour of single females, so saying you won’t message first seems a bit odd to me. "
Very rare that couples or ladies message! |
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"Our profile is a bit bizarre we're told...shall we tone it down? Xx"
You’ll be better off starting your own thread. But, there’s only two lines of profile text that are at all relevant; you may as well delete all the disclaimers. At the same time it appears too long to bother reading, and also tells you next to nothing at all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our profile is a bit bizarre we're told...shall we tone it down? Xx
You’ll be better off starting your own thread. But, there’s only two lines of profile text that are at all relevant; you may as well delete all the disclaimers. At the same time it appears too long to bother reading, and also tells you next to nothing at all!"
Was going to say same thing |
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"Hi everyone, been on here a while but not having much luck with even getting past a couple of messages or the odd fake. We have been verified but obviously want to be discreet and can share information when we feel right. Have let our membership/subscription run out because if it.
What else can we do to be more involved and get some responses. Appreciate any advice. "
1. Get what you are saying with "no pics no reply" but doesn't make you sound approachable especially as you only have one pic on show and none of male half. Perhaps better to just ask nicely in messages if want to swap pics.
2. Inevitablly you will be disappointed as you are just looking for ladies. Not impossible but almost every couple on Fab is looking for ladies. Odds are stacked against you and their isn't a great deal on your profile. Organised socials or clubs may be a better bet. I've organised socials before with partner and had more ladies than men until dragged in a few last minute stragglers. Ladies seem better at coming to such things.
3. If you are getting chats going but they then fizzle out again not surprising as happens a lot. Perhaps you need to seize the initiative relatively early and suggest meeting even for a quick coffee. If interest suggest dates over next month or so. Be proactive to test things. If not possible to arrange probably suggests never going to happen. It might and no harm in keeping chatting but the longer is goes on without concrete plans the less likely it is to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep. What he said. I (very) occasionally meet couples and happen to have a thing for redheads (I'm strawberry blonde and keen on matchy matchy as much as contrast with the lady).
But "no pics, no reply", without any proper ones visible on yours, and the stuff abt not accepting friend requests... is off putting. It's a little bit scary talking to a couple as a single. The couple are essentially a single dude with (or in reality without) an accomplice until we've met. So you kind of need to be extra relaxed sounding for it to work for me (obvs other women will have other preferences!).
I do self indulgence quite nicely on occasion though. So, if you're ever down south and were serious about the spoiling do let me know!  |
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" Have let our membership/subscription run out "
This means you can't see the thread of previous messages. I find it almost impossible to chat to people if a few days later I can't remind myself of our previous conversation. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
I’m a woman who plays alone (almost entirely in clubs). I don’t think it is reasonable for you to ask a single woman to make herself vulnerable by sending you pictures of herself before you have earned her trust. That comes across as a bit rude and arrogant. If you want a woman to fuck you, let her set the pace, not the other way around? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a woman who plays alone (almost entirely in clubs). I don’t think it is reasonable for you to ask a single woman to make herself vulnerable by sending you pictures of herself before you have earned her trust. That comes across as a bit rude and arrogant. If you want a woman to fuck you, let her set the pace, not the other way around?"
That isn't what we are saying. Happy to share pictures, even have done on first messages. We have encountered lots of fakes so want to make sure people are real too! |
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"I’m a woman who plays alone (almost entirely in clubs). I don’t think it is reasonable for you to ask a single woman to make herself vulnerable by sending you pictures of herself before you have earned her trust. That comes across as a bit rude and arrogant. If you want a woman to fuck you, let her set the pace, not the other way around?
That isn't what we are saying. Happy to share pictures, even have done on first messages. We have encountered lots of fakes so want to make sure people are real too!"
But that is what is sound like you are saying in your profile. Perhaps say something more like that instead of current words. You did ask for advice as to how to make you be more approachable  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m a woman who plays alone (almost entirely in clubs). I don’t think it is reasonable for you to ask a single woman to make herself vulnerable by sending you pictures of herself before you have earned her trust. That comes across as a bit rude and arrogant. If you want a woman to fuck you, let her set the pace, not the other way around?
That isn't what we are saying. Happy to share pictures, even have done on first messages. We have encountered lots of fakes so want to make sure people are real too!
But that is what is sound like you are saying in your profile. Perhaps say something more like that instead of current words. You did ask for advice as to how to make you be more approachable "
Understand however, our profile wording changed as we were getting lots of questions about sending pictures in messages. But none wanting to chat, we thought to sort that out we wold just say what everyone else was saying in terms of 'no pic no reply'. Appreciate the feedback thought! |
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It’s a tough call as to how much of your private lives you are willing to risk .. unfortunately as you have found already a lot of fakes ( and there are a LOT on FAB) are happy to exploit that in some way or another . FAB frankly isn’t great at ‘ policing’ things too strictly . That’s either Good / bad to some .
Unfortunately these days the ‘ send a pic’ way of doing things is rife with problems and photo shoppers creating alter egos to mess people about with etc etc so not as reliable a source as once used to be .
I would say use the tech to your advantage . if you can to confirm identity of whoever you want to get to know it’s easier to see where you stand .Try an invite to an Old fashioned phone call? at least you can hear a voice . Then perhaps also try webcam chat , skype WhatsApp they all great ways of proving to someone you are who you say and whether there’s an attraction too.
Or if not comfortable with those ?
As others suggest going to a club will help you see who is who they say they are .
Good luck finding what you seek . T
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a tough call as to how much of your private lives you are willing to risk .. unfortunately as you have found already a lot of fakes ( and there are a LOT on FAB) are happy to exploit that in some way or another . FAB frankly isn’t great at ‘ policing’ things too strictly . That’s either Good / bad to some .
Unfortunately these days the ‘ send a pic’ way of doing things is rife with problems and photo shoppers creating alter egos to mess people about with etc etc so not as reliable a source as once used to be .
I would say use the tech to your advantage . if you can to confirm identity of whoever you want to get to know it’s easier to see where you stand .Try an invite to an Old fashioned phone call? at least you can hear a voice . Then perhaps also try webcam chat , skype WhatsApp they all great ways of proving to someone you are who you say and whether there’s an attraction too.
Or if not comfortable with those ?
As others suggest going to a club will help you see who is who they say they are .
Good luck finding what you seek . T
"
Thqtnjs T. Lots of exactly the above happening, we have tried kik, Snapchat, WhatsApp etc its just so admin heavy to get a good connection. Might just be best to try the clubs and see how we get on there x |
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We absolutely second what someone said earlier- a well organised club night with discord chat before. We were on fab for years but kept being messed around. That recent party was a game changer and we haven’t looked back. |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
Clubs are the way to go if you're worried about fakes. We rarely meet people off fab these days but find it great for party invites and club events. Even at a club you will find it more difficult to meet single females or a couple where the female is willing to play alone so choose an event night carefully to increase the odds. |
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