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The truth?
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What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this |
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Just grow a pair and say sorry your not for us.
Block them, delete your account,sell your house and move to another country learn to speak a different language then get reconstructive surgery so you look like different people.
Simple  |
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"Just grow a pair and say sorry your not for us.
Block them, delete your account,sell your house and move to another country learn to speak a different language then get reconstructive surgery so you look like different people.
Simple "
Usually my go to |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Just grow a pair and say sorry your not for us.
Block them, delete your account,sell your house and move to another country learn to speak a different language then get reconstructive surgery so you look like different people.
Simple
Usually my go to "
Barbara? 
Is that you?? 
A |
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"I'd block, it's harsh but they'll know where they stand, there's no point sending a message saying I don't think the attraction is there etc "
Think bit harsh blocking without saying a word after chatting before. At least really sorry but decided not for us and wish them luck on swinging journey and then block. They won’t feel good either way but at least some closure. Silent blocking a real shit move after chatting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It all depends on how well I’d got on with them up to that point.
If there was a connection and I found their bodies attractive then I could get over the lack of facial attraction.
If there was no connection then I’d probably swap another couple of messages and say that I didn’t think there was potential.
I couldn’t be brutal enough to say I didn’t fancy their faces. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just from experience and my opinion but we're all adults (well some of us are!) so blocking is fine after you've been honest and politely said that your not attracted to them. I've had straight blocking, nasty messages of nice tits shame about your face and it's got to me. Whereas just a simple
It's been great chatting but I'm not attracted to you
I've understood and moved along
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
In the beginning we would continue chatting but gradually fade thr conversation out as we were afraid of begin honest.
These days we are more confident and will just be honest and say thank you but the attraction isn't there. Having had that approach happen to us a couple of times we feel it is more polite than just ghosting or blocking, although both leave the other person in no doubt where they stand. |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
First of all we don't message first. If we were to swap messages we wouldn't commit to meeting unless we've swapped face pics. However we're happy to say hello to anyone in a club after swapping messages even if we have no intention of playing. Our advise is don't be over keen in messages until you've swapped face pics. |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
I'm not saying that everyone should do this by any means but we prefer to tell them outright, we very rarely use the block button unless we really have to, we do just delete msgs from guys who have absolutely no understanding on how to speak to women and couples or have a total disregard for our profile but when it comes to looks we just tell them in the nicest way possible...its their choice how they recieve that but if they react badly then they shouldn't be on a site like this. |
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By *p4fun60Couple
over a year ago
Hampshire |
"We just say that we're really sorry but we're not feeling the attraction and wish them all the best"
Same as us, honesty is the best policy not every one finds everyone else attractive unless of course you're just going for notches & veris, but there's definitely no need to be rude about it  |
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"Soz I misread your post half asleep my excuse, you mean when they eventually show pics of there face on here. I don't know the answer to that one. "
Hahaha yes
We definitely wouldn’t meet anyone with seeing what they look like |
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"Personally OP I would be asking for face pics after only a few messages, as there isn't much point in a long in-depth chat if there is no attraction."
After 2 maybe 3 messages we ask. But even then it seems awful to say ‘oh sorry we aren’t interested, all the best in your future endeavours’ lol
Just wanna know how people let others down without disheartening them |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
Just say sorry not for us and move on, to be fair I can never tell by body pics if I'm attracted to someone I need face and personality.
Mrs |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this
Just say sorry not for us and move on, to be fair I can never tell by body pics if I'm attracted to someone I need face and personality.
Mrs "
It’s an hard one |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
" Silent blocking a real shit move after chatting. "
if you had some of the message that us women and couple get when rejecting someone then you would fully understand why block is the best way forward |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
It depends. I base attraction on lots of different elements.
If they sent a face pic that I didn't find instantly attractive, but also wasnt totally repulsed by, and I had found their personality appealing in the chat up until that point , then I'd probably continue chatting and arrange a social meet to see if there was an attraction face to face. Some people look way better in their photos than they do in real life (especially with the wonders of modern technology helping them) , others just arent very photogenic.
If their photo was an instant "no" then I'd tell them politely that unfortunately I wasn't feeling a physical attraction. |
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Why should people have to be attractive? We arent all the same and just because the op didnt find the couple attractive why should that matter?its no deal breaker for me. I meet people who can meet my needs regardless of attraction.(Dee) |
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" Silent blocking a real shit move after chatting.
if you had some of the message that us women and couple get when rejecting someone then you would fully understand why block is the best way forward"
Where did I object to blocking per se? SILENT blocking.
I get it if not chatted much before but if chatted a fair bit already sorry just shit move. Had it done to me and I know ladies had it done to them and they've felt shit too. To be clear not saying blocking is bad but SILENT blocking - if been chatting send a message explaining somehow, then block so can't get a nasty reply.
I do understand why ladies do to men in some cases but in this case it is a couple responding to a couple. I've been a couple here and very rarely had abusive messages. Also seen how the swinging world can be very small especially if attend parties or clubs so doesn't pay to be a dick. Bit of politeness goes a long way as never know who is talking to who and when you might bump into somebody. Agreed different if a single just doing private meets. |
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"But surely your see at least few pictures of there face before a meet? I be surprised if anyone goes to meet someone without even knowing what they look like. "
There are some who don't provide pics at all and expect folk to go off of verifications. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It depends. I base attraction on lots of different elements.
If they sent a face pic that I didn't find instantly attractive, but also wasnt totally repulsed by, and I had found their personality appealing in the chat up until that point , then I'd probably continue chatting and arrange a social meet to see if there was an attraction face to face. Some people look way better in their photos than they do in real life (especially with the wonders of modern technology helping them) , others just arent very photogenic.
If their photo was an instant "no" then I'd tell them politely that unfortunately I wasn't feeling a physical attraction. "
Pretty much this |
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"We now just block, the last time we said “sorry we don’t think we are all compatible” we received a barrage of insults lol"
Same for me too  . People may argue its unkind, but the barrage of abuse that can follow a polite rejection can be awful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why should people have to be attractive? We arent all the same and just because the op didnt find the couple attractive why should that matter?its no deal breaker for me. I meet people who can meet my needs regardless of attraction.(Dee)"
That's your perogative. Just as it's the perogative of others to only meet with people they find attractive. That's part of their needs being met. |
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We would still do a social with them as pictures can be very deceiving.
We’ve met people who have sent us face pics and we were attracted to them but when we met their pictures were out of date and heavily filtered.
We’ve also met people who we didn’t find instantly attracted to but when we met their pictures didn’t do them justice and we ended up having a great time with them.
If we meet people on here and we all get on we will always do a social with them first if we went on just pictures we would have missed out on some amazing people . |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I don't speak to people without seeing a face pic, when looking for new playmates. Mine is always visible then but I don't like it when people are crazy into me when they haven't seen my face... It's weird  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think blocking is a good way of letting people know, without the need to try to make an excuse. We are all grown ups here, and should be able to take rejection. Just wish the abuse you get when you say no thanks would stop as it’s only polite to say no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't speak to people without seeing a face pic, when looking for new playmates. Mine is always visible then but I don't like it when people are crazy into me when they haven't seen my face... It's weird "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Silent blocking a real shit move after chatting.
if you had some of the message that us women and couple get when rejecting someone then you would fully understand why block is the best way forward"
Bit 5hos goes both ways, single men usually have to send a face pic right away to a profile of a woman or a couple with no photo l. So it can actually become a very long revolving door syndrome which can depending on your day very disheartening to the toughest of men |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
God I hate this, we’ve ghosted in the past and it feels so shit.
It’s part of the reason we’re faced out tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's also an issue with camera phone picture quality. Then there's aspecs of photography such as lighting, angles and shade. If you get these wrong you're not going to look very good. Is it the transition from a 3d object to a 2d flat image? I watched a basketball game recently where they showed the players moving around the court prior to the game and photos of the players on screen. There was a difference. The onscreen pics didn't make them look overly good, though they probably look fabulous in real life. |
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"Why should people have to be attractive? We arent all the same and just because the op didnt find the couple attractive why should that matter?its no deal breaker for me. I meet people who can meet my needs regardless of attraction.(Dee)"
Everyone is diffrent, some people do have to find someone attractive, some might not find them attractive by face but attracted to personality, or body etc, it's a very personal thing and nobody should be shamed at how they decide who they want to be intimate with. |
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"We're to honest so we've been told. It happens to us tho in return. We'll happily chat to ppl we have no sexual chemistry with.
How do you do without giving off flirty vibes?"
That's a good question, we find that when we do not find someone attractive and made it clear nothing will happen but happy to chat and nothing sexual or giving the wrong vibes , they will take that as "well they must be intrested if their talking to me" and will continue to try and flirt of hint at meets etc...we find it just doesn't work with some people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always say 'sorry not for us' immediately. You can't be in this scene and unable to deal with rejection. We've been rejected many times for all sorts of reasons and that's fine. We get the odd single guy who gets frustrated and wants to know in minute detail why we've said no. We get a few 'it's your loss' replies too.
We occasionally get chatting to couples that seem nice but won't share face pics until they have been speaking for a while. We pull out of these quickly now. There's no point spending ages chatting and then saying no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say sorry not for me and block.
It's harsh I know but I can't have sex with people if I don't find them attractive.
It's probably why I like face pics early on it saves anyone wasting time with something that wouldn't happen. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
taunton somerset |
block block block ...the block button is by far the best tool on fab ...i pre block too not just those i dont fancy but those who are rude n nasty ,bullies , trolls, racist sexist and lots of other things via status or forum post ive 1000s on my block list and my life on here is better for it ...
if they message and i dont fancy then block no messing the face means more to me than the body if im honest i have to have a sexual attraction to kiss and fuck im will no go with anyone in fact i suspect i have no interest in 99% of my messages yet im always meeting most weeks ....too many think just because the tick box match that they are in ..no chance your only in if your have the right attraction for me and we have things is common / or get on via messages
and this is not a guy only rule this applys across the board
#justmyopinion |
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We had exactly this a few weeks ago when a couple sent face pics to us. Told them straight and wished them all the best. They responded by demanding to see our face pics !?. We blocked them, end of you'd think... No, they created another account and attacked us from there so we blocked that too (zero response worked). |
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"We're to honest so we've been told. It happens to us tho in return. We'll happily chat to ppl we have no sexual chemistry with.
How do you do without giving off flirty vibes?
That's a good question, we find that when we do not find someone attractive and made it clear nothing will happen but happy to chat and nothing sexual or giving the wrong vibes , they will take that as "well they must be intrested if their talking to me" and will continue to try and flirt of hint at meets etc...we find it just doesn't work with some people. "
It’s hard to try not be rude when you don’t find someone attractive |
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"I would say sorry not for me and block.
It's harsh I know but I can't have sex with people if I don't find them attractive.
It's probably why I like face pics early on it saves anyone wasting time with something that wouldn't happen. "
Good point is this |
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We are terrible at this and therefore we prefer to share face pics early on.
If we do feel the attraction has waned, we think signals like late or no replies, repeated excuses why we cannot meet or deleted messages do the trick. We can never bring ourselves to ever say sorry we don't like you.
Hate us for this but we are a pair of softies. |
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By *zanyCouple
over a year ago
truro |
Lots of factors determine our reactions. If the initial message is to our liking then we would want to see what they look like. If after exchanging facial pics we all liked each other then all ok but if one of the four had doubts then just say sorry not for us but wish them well on fab. Blocking is rare for us, but sometimes necessary. We always have a social meet before playing and that is what really matters to us. If that does not go well thank them for meeting ( if they turn up). We have met couples who have fancied one and not the other but that is a downright no no, and met couples that we did not play with but carried on meeting on a social level. We just enjoy the lifestyle.
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"We are terrible at this and therefore we prefer to share face pics early on.
If we do feel the attraction has waned, we think signals like late or no replies, repeated excuses why we cannot meet or deleted messages do the trick. We can never bring ourselves to ever say sorry we don't like you.
Hate us for this but we are a pair of softies."
We totally get this |
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"Other than straight blocking, which I think is a tad harsh when you spent a while chatting, I’ll make sure I do everything in my power to make them loose their interest.
"
I find this one interesting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer people to say that I'm not actually for them as I would and have done on occasion too. Yes, I do also block after sending / receiving such messages x |
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By *d4ugirlsMan
over a year ago
Green Cove Springs |
"I'd block, it's harsh but they'll know where they stand, there's no point sending a message saying I don't think the attraction is there etc "
Oooh that is harsh, only takes a few minutes to say no thanks in a kind way.
We all have feelings on here, some might be more fragile than others.
Why take the chance of shattering someone's feelings. |
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I wouldn't block, i'd say not what I'm looking for but then I quite like meets where I don't know what their face is like. Yes it can backfire but sometimes it's a really nice surprise. There's usually something attractive about someone, if it's not their face then there's often something else. |
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I would just say I’m sorry but you’re not my type.
A lot of people aren’t bothered about face or body.
But for us it’s a big thing we would rather wait for that one person with the whole package we are looking for rather than have 5 people who aren’t.
Quality over quantity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m hesitant about being honest and saying “sorry, not my type” anymore as I’ve found 9 times out of 10 they get abusive and accuse me of being shallow and liking gym fit guys only (which isn’t true at all!)
So now, as awful as it sounds, I just don’t message again  |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I'd block, it's harsh but they'll know where they stand, there's no point sending a message saying I don't think the attraction is there etc "
They don't know where they stand all they know is they've been blocked and can't contact anymore, just be honest tell them they're ugly gits |
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It would depend on a few things, for us.
- How well we've been getting on up to this point (personality can turn a 5 into a 10 and vice verse)
-Is it just a poorly taken photo or do they really look like Shrek? We got chatting with a couple in a club who we really got on with and fancied. When we looked them up on Fab, their face pics looked pretty rough compared to them in person.
-How likely are we to actually meet them? We chat with loads of people but meet very rarely. We can stand to be penpals with uggos 
If, for some reason, their face pics make us physically sick that will be evident in our enthusiasm for the chat. It'll probably just fade out and that will be that. If they asked us directly what we thought, we'd be honest and say we're not feeling the attraction.
We've had people ghost us after swapping face pics and it feels AWFUL. We'd never do that to others. |
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"There's nothing wrong with saying "you're not my type sorry!". We're sure people will probably have done it with us too. One person's "Attractive" is another person's "Not for me!" "
It seems to offend a lot of people |
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"I would just say I’m sorry but you’re not my type.
A lot of people aren’t bothered about face or body.
But for us it’s a big thing we would rather wait for that one person with the whole package we are looking for rather than have 5 people who aren’t.
Quality over quantity "
I get this but then sometimes it seems as if we are being too picky  |
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"I would drag out a few more messages and then either make an excuse as to why they weren’t for me or block. I would feel awful telling someone I wasn’t attracted to their face "
This one seems popular about dragging out the convo |
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"It would depend on a few things, for us.
- How well we've been getting on up to this point (personality can turn a 5 into a 10 and vice verse)
-Is it just a poorly taken photo or do they really look like Shrek? We got chatting with a couple in a club who we really got on with and fancied. When we looked them up on Fab, their face pics looked pretty rough compared to them in person.
-How likely are we to actually meet them? We chat with loads of people but meet very rarely. We can stand to be penpals with uggos
If, for some reason, their face pics make us physically sick that will be evident in our enthusiasm for the chat. It'll probably just fade out and that will be that. If they asked us directly what we thought, we'd be honest and say we're not feeling the attraction.
We've had people ghost us after swapping face pics and it feels AWFUL. We'd never do that to others. "
That second bit is so true! We see that happen a lot |
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"I would just say I’m sorry but you’re not my type.
A lot of people aren’t bothered about face or body.
But for us it’s a big thing we would rather wait for that one person with the whole package we are looking for rather than have 5 people who aren’t.
Quality over quantity
I get this but then sometimes it seems as if we are being too picky "
We are totally the picky type  |
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"I would just say I’m sorry but you’re not my type.
A lot of people aren’t bothered about face or body.
But for us it’s a big thing we would rather wait for that one person with the whole package we are looking for rather than have 5 people who aren’t.
Quality over quantity
I get this but then sometimes it seems as if we are being too picky
We are totally the picky type "
We find the ones we really like, live miles away or aren’t into what we are into as well |
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We try to be nice, it feels awful to say no as soon as you’ve seen face pic’s! We limit ourselves to meeting at Clubs or Parties, so happy to chat to anyone at an event but if we don’t fancy people then no play!
In our early days we were miffed when people blocked us, but now we are fine with it. We don’t fancy everyone & not everyone fancies us. No need to get too worried, unless everyone on Fab blocks us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"String a few messages out and then tell them that you went to an orgy and now have the clap.
They'll block you in a heartbeat.
Mission accomplished.
A"
We tried to put someone off by telling outrageous lies about the things we wanted to do and it backfired!!! He wanted to do them all!!!  |
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"What do you do…
If you got speaking to someone/couple and on their public pictures are only of their body and you think ‘oh they look good’ but once you see their face pictures you suddenly don’t find them attractive. What do you do?
You just be honest with them or stop talking?
A few mixed opinions on this "
Tell them they're not my type and block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"String a few messages out and then tell them that you went to an orgy and now have the clap.
They'll block you in a heartbeat.
Mission accomplished.
A
We tried to put someone off by telling outrageous lies about the things we wanted to do and it backfired!!! He wanted to do them all!!! "
Hahaha that’s hilarious! That would totally happen to me too….. |
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