FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to ask you wife to swing
How to ask you wife to swing
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m sure other men and women will find her attractive as we all have our attractions.
If she has gone off sex it might not be a good idea to suggest swinging.
Perhaps some honest and open conversation which might be linked to her self-esteem and her perception of her body image.
If she has sexual fantasies which you’ve discussed she might want them to remain fantasies.
For what it’s with my advice would be have a discussion and if she has no interest you’ll have to content yourself with dreams, fantasies and self pleasure.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think communication is important. You have to talk.
I played a game with my ex where I blindfolded her and got her to play with herself (I knew she had before we met as I found her toys in her drawer when getting something for her).
I asked her to tell me what she fantasised about when masturbating. It turned out she thought about more than one man at a time - when the tables were turned and I had to masturbate I admitted the idea of making her masturbate in front of another guy and I before we both fucked her got me hot ....bingo!
We built on our fantasies, joined a site like this and read the stories, played on cam etc before eventually arranging meets, going to clubs etc
I loved her to bits and loved seeing her orgasm. I wasn't that interested in other women but went with the flow when she encouraged me to do so.
If you can't / won't talk it's going to be difficult.
She may just have a very low sex drive - finding out if she has a cheeky wank on occasion might be a start.
Good luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Someone who has never really liked sex is very unlikely to want to swing
It might be an idea to have a conversation about rekindling your sex life with each other and if that's successful bring up the idea of swinging.
Good luck to you both |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You go down on one knee, look deeply and longingly into her eyes and say:
My fairest wife, thou art the love of my life and I love you more deeply than the deepest pool of water. Will you fuck other men for me?
Guaranteed to work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Take her to the park, play on the see saw, after a while point to the swing, gently drop it in asking if she would like to swing with her, when she says yes, surprise her with a mystery night put, taking her to a swinging club...afterall she did agree. You'll be swinging this afternoon n tonight |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people just aren’t sexual, and that’s okay. It sounds like this is more of a case of her not being sexual.
The best way is to speak to her, openly and honestly.
Is there a past trauma affecting her? Is she on hormonal contraception? What doesn’t she enjoy about it? There’s many questions, and depending on the answer, would depend how you suggest it to her or even just discuss it.
Id bring something random up in conversation or randomly scroll past a tv program and see her reaction.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Someone who has never really liked sex is very unlikely to want to swing
It might be an idea to have a conversation about rekindling your sex life with each other and if that's successful bring up the idea of swinging.
Good luck to you both "
This totally ,if your relationship/ sex lfe isn't great to start with ,swinging won't help..
Is there a way you can try and improve it between yourselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Someone who has never really liked sex is very unlikely to want to swing
It might be an idea to have a conversation about rekindling your sex life with each other and if that's successful bring up the idea of swinging.
Good luck to you both
This totally ,if your relationship/ sex lfe isn't great to start with ,swinging won't help..
Is there a way you can try and improve it between yourselves."
Exactly this first step |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
First stop would be to visit what is wrong with your relationship that has caused your current situation. Second stop would be to the GP. If you think swinging will fix a broken sex life then you are very very wrong. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *he LsCouple
over a year ago
East Midlands |
Would agree with most comments on here. Swinging will not fix a sexless relationship.
Understanding between you why you've stopped having sex and having an open discussion on what sex means each of you would start to help.
But being on this site or hoping swinging will fix things isn't going to work.
Me and the wife have always talked openly about fantasies and what each of us we enjoy about sex, lots of trips to sex shops, toys and sexy lingerie we're bought long before we discovered swinging.
Not sure any of that helps.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Unfortunately if you are unable to talk together openly about swinging then swinging isn't for you as a couple. Swinging is about trust and sharing each other's enjoyment without pressure, doubts or worries. If you cannot communicate it simply won't work for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The fact you are on here swinging alone (presumably without her knowledge) and you haven’t had sex together for years, shows far deeper issues than swinging together will fix. Really need to discuss honestly and gently with her to sort out your own sex life together before opening it up to others surely? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just shaking my head really. Do you love her? Like as in "in love" with her? Do you still fancy her? Do you want to make your marriage work?
If yes then put in some effort! Being on here without her knowledge could be the betrayal of all betrayals.
If you can't communicate you're doomed to be in a relationship that is going nowhere, even after 23 years. You'll end up more friends than anything.
Just talk to her, you already know that's what you need to do I don't know why you're asking us?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you need to get to the root of why your sex life has been so poor over the years OP before you could even consider mentioning swinging to your wife.
Surely you must realise there’s not a cat in hells chance of her embracing your idea?
What if she did though? Have you considered how you’d feel if you watched your wife enjoying sex with men in a way she never had with you?
Or is it that you think as a couple you’d stand more chance of being successful on here?
Whatever the reasons you should concentrate on putting things right between you and your wife before even considering introducing others into the mix. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you need to get to the root of why your sex life has been so poor over the years OP before you could even consider mentioning swinging to your wife.
Surely you must realise there’s not a cat in hells chance of her embracing your idea?
What if she did though? Have you considered how you’d feel if you watched your wife enjoying sex with men in a way she never had with you?
Or is it that you think as a couple you’d stand more chance of being successful on here?
Whatever the reasons you should concentrate on putting things right between you and your wife before even considering introducing others into the mix."
agreed! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sort out yourselves before you drag anyone else into the situation.
If this means that you have a discussion and she isn't interested in a physicak relationship than be prepared to walk away even with kids involved, it will be better for them than "staying together for the kids"
You both deserve to be happy, and not getting the sex you want isn't doing that, and she probably isn't that happy either.
That all said, I hope that when you discuss things with her, you manage to get this sorted and both find happiness together, whether swinging or not swinging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
.
"
First of all your cock size isn’t the problem honey you sound healthy and average to me. Can you open the conversation by discussing fantasies with her? Or mention a friend of yours that swings and ask her what she thinks of the idea? I guess I think your approach should be indirect maybe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I feel you should have an open and honest chat about sex and what you both want. She maybe doesn't feel attractive, her hormones might be making her feel crap about herself and so on. If you can't talk about the current issues in your relationship then swinging isn't going to magically fix it. Perhaps you could look at some sort of couples therapy to help you? Good luck
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
.
"
Also if she doesn’t know that you are on here and tell her it will go down like a lead balloon |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
"BTW, if she find out you are on here then I'd suggest your problems may well get a whole lot worst. Maybe you need to look at your relationship as a whole. "
I'd suspect two new marital terms:
Decree Nisi and Decree Absolute |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm sorry to hear that your wife has some body confidence issues, it's a horrible place to be, but as others have said, I can't see how suggesting swinging and having sex with other men is going to work on someone that doesn't like sex, and to be fair, she is less likely to want sex with you ever again if she found out you were on here, I'm not judging you here but if you were to bring this subject up she may well start to be a bit suspicious of you and do some digging, I'd be very careful if I were you, you could just be happy with your lot, and as suggested self pleasue or loose the lot. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thanks all for the comments
Yes going about it a bit wrong but just want her to be happy, I love sex and miss it.
We started talking and yes has admitted some mental health problems so working on that.
So it a start…..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks all for the comments
Yes going about it a bit wrong but just want her to be happy, I love sex and miss it.
We started talking and yes has admitted some mental health problems so working on that.
So it a start…..
"
If your wife is suffering from a mental health issue then suggesting either of you have sex with other people is only going to harm her even more. I'd suggest you get off this site and focus on your wife. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP would you tell her she's a crap shag and you want to have sex with someone else?
Because that is the way she will hear it if you try and suggest swinging.
Swinging is an enhancement to a good sex life not a way to repair one that is lacking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
I don’t think it’s something you can just come out with!
You need to consider how well do you know your wife. What I mean by that what are her views in general? Is she liberal in her views overall. If yes then this is a good start.
Communication is key! I raised the subject by making reference to something I read in the local rag. I then gauged her reaction which was positive so I then said how about going to check a club out ? The rest is history.
.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just have the conversation what's the worst that can happen.
However if she's never really liked sex I doubt very much having more sex is going to be appealing.
Show her your profile and let her have a look around.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
She is probably exhausted, I bet she "manages" the families lives including health, education, food, housework. Many married women who talk to me feel like they have an adult male child and find them unsexy for it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Don't try drink !! Yes something might happen then when sober you to deal with aftermath. Chocolate flowers. Nice meal and give her your time listen to what she says when relaxed . To just come out suggest swinging make most people run. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don't try drink !! Yes something might happen then when sober you to deal with aftermath. Chocolate flowers. Nice meal and give her your time listen to what she says when relaxed . To just come out suggest swinging make most people run. "
From a woman's point of view having a partner give you chocolates and flowers then ask you me do something sexual would make me say no double quick
Treat me as an equal who doesn't need softening up or persuaded to join you in an adventure that's to our mutual benefit.
Give flowers and chocolates for no reason. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead"
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?"
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don't try drink !! Yes something might happen then when sober you to deal with aftermath. Chocolate flowers. Nice meal and give her your time listen to what she says when relaxed . To just come out suggest swinging make most people run.
From a woman's point of view having a partner give you chocolates and flowers then ask you me do something sexual would make me say no double quick
Treat me as an equal who doesn't need softening up or persuaded to join you in an adventure that's to our mutual benefit.
Give flowers and chocolates for no reason. "
I did not mean give choc flowers then ask I mean try have new more caring time. Then in time sex life might come back only then could you try push boundies and never use drink. Been nice doing house work for her could pay in long run best |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don't try drink !! Yes something might happen then when sober you to deal with aftermath. Chocolate flowers. Nice meal and give her your time listen to what she says when relaxed . To just come out suggest swinging make most people run.
From a woman's point of view having a partner give you chocolates and flowers then ask you me do something sexual would make me say no double quick
Treat me as an equal who doesn't need softening up or persuaded to join you in an adventure that's to our mutual benefit.
Give flowers and chocolates for no reason.
I did not mean give choc flowers then ask I mean try have new more caring time. Then in time sex life might come back only then could you try push boundies and never use drink. Been nice doing house work for her could pay in long run best"
I think moving away from doing nice things in order to get more sex might be the way forward.
I know you probably didn't realise you were writing it but 'doing house work 'for her''
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together. "
Micro cheated ! That's a new one on me 
You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Sex is clearly more important to you than your wife and that's a big problem.
Is it possible to have a no holds barred conversation with her? I know it isn't easy but if you start by saying that you love her dearly and want both of you to have a great relationship would she engage? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together. "
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together.
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex?"
The same if she caught me watching porn
I’m looking not touching and I enjoy the social side of the Swinger lifestyle.every one I’ve talked to is really nice.
And enjoy chatting with like minded people about my favourite subject.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together.
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex?
The same if she caught me watching porn
I’m looking not touching and I enjoy the social side of the Swinger lifestyle.every one I’ve talked to is really nice.
And enjoy chatting with like minded people about my favourite subject.
"
So that sounds like she is aware that you are on here and are looking to meet women for sex? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
.
"
Show her my profile and pics. She might show some interest  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Excuse me if already been said as not read every single post... but
Swinging should be an enhancement to your sex life, lot a fix x
But if you do want to introduce it into your relationship maybe start by watching a documentary or something about swinging then talking about it after in a fun way and see what she says? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together.
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex?
The same if she caught me watching porn
I’m looking not touching and I enjoy the social side of the Swinger lifestyle.every one I’ve talked to is really nice.
And enjoy chatting with like minded people about my favourite subject.
"
But watching is totally different from actually chatting with people who are on a swingers site looking for a bit of action it would come under cheating |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
OP, I think you're digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself. My advice would be to abandon this thread, at least temporarily give up Fab and arrange a meeting for you, your wife and a marriage guidance counselor. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"OP, I think you're digging a deeper and deeper hole for yourself. My advice would be to abandon this thread, at least temporarily give up Fab and arrange a meeting for you, your wife and a marriage guidance counselor. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Wrong goal OP. Strengthen your marriage as your goal, including potentially to increase her satisfaction. It may or may not ever include more sex but the stronger the emotional and trust foundations are, the greater the potential for you to be able to support each other, in whichever direction it goes.
Have you ensured that she can 100% trust you? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP would you tell her she's a crap shag and you want to have sex with someone else?
Because that is the way she will hear it if you try and suggest swinging.
Swinging is an enhancement to a good sex life not a way to repair one that is lacking."
This one million percent, everyone's different but I can't see how swinging for any couple would work if they don't have a very healthy sex life already and also complete trust in each other, you 2 don't have sex and you're on here trying to cheat so you clearly have neither.
Come off Fab, concentrate on your wife, listen to her and make her feel special again, get your sex life back on track and any other issues in your relationship then who knows what the future might bring. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What if the person who doesn't want/ can't have sex has absolutely no intention of ever being sexual again? Or a medical condition prevents it?
"
Then they have to have an open, honest conversation about it.
What this guy is going is cheating |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together.
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex?
The same if she caught me watching porn
I’m looking not touching and I enjoy the social side of the Swinger lifestyle.every one I’ve talked to is really nice.
And enjoy chatting with like minded people about my favourite subject.
"
Not "micro-cheated", you have cheated, don't try and play it down or justify it to yourself.
Porn etc is "in your head" and you are allowed to do anything you want inside your head.
Involving others is beyond that.
Accept that as the truth and you can maybe sort this, but the first step after that is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife that totally has the potential to end in divorce, which I REALLY hope isn't the case.
Do you really want to be a swinger, or do you just want a sex life?
Does it excite you to think of the woman who denies you sex having sex with others, maybe with you watching, or are you just at a point where you don't care what she does as long as you are getting some somewhere? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What if the person who doesn't want/ can't have sex has absolutely no intention of ever being sexual again? Or a medical condition prevents it?
Then they have to have an open, honest conversation about it.
What this guy is going is cheating"
If only life was as straightforward |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What if the person who doesn't want/ can't have sex has absolutely no intention of ever being sexual again? Or a medical condition prevents it?
Then they have to have an open, honest conversation about it.
What this guy is going is cheating
If only life was as straightforward "
It's as straightforward as you want it to be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe she simply doesn't like having sex with you.. have you considered that?
Yes
If she said that I could deal with it
From divorce or being a cuck or just no sex till I’m dead
So do you think that cheating on her is acceptable?
Not actually cheated on her yet just Micro cheated ok a bit worse that watching porn but I enjoy chatting to people. I’m I not allowed to have some sexual outlet?
I’m just Trying to think of ways to unlock my wife full potential of the joys of sex.So we can enjoy together.
OK, so what do you think your wife's reaction will be when she finds out you are on here trying to meet people for sex?
The same if she caught me watching porn
I’m looking not touching and I enjoy the social side of the Swinger lifestyle.every one I’ve talked to is really nice.
And enjoy chatting with like minded people about my favourite subject.
Not "micro-cheated", you have cheated, don't try and play it down or justify it to yourself.
Porn etc is "in your head" and you are allowed to do anything you want inside your head.
Involving others is beyond that.
Accept that as the truth and you can maybe sort this, but the first step after that is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife that totally has the potential to end in divorce, which I REALLY hope isn't the case.
Do you really want to be a swinger, or do you just want a sex life?
Does it excite you to think of the woman who denies you sex having sex with others, maybe with you watching, or are you just at a point where you don't care what she does as long as you are getting some somewhere?"
Obviously I do care
Sex is a wonderful thing that bonds couples together
So I need to fix this but as my wife as pushed me away. Some years ago so I started looking and thinking of ways to rekindle our passion for life obviously a divorce which would be the obvious thing to do is an option, but still want to be together and experience all the life can give us with only 30 odd years left on this earth
As this is a free site with good people on I’m just asking the question of should I try and save it or walk away
Judge me how you like I just trying to explore the possibilities of and different life style
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Can I perhaps have a different take on this?
Do you think that perhaps if you got in shape, started eating healthily, and spent some quality time together, you might find that spark?
I'm not judging you. Sounds like you have your reasons and your outlets. But if I were you I'd look to get a good lifestyle change in place and take things from there.
Good luck   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m just asking the question of should I try and save it or walk away
Judge me how you like I just trying to explore the possibilities of and different life style"
First of all I was not judging you, I was trying to be open and honest with you from MY point of view, but obviously you don't know where I am coming from.
I am coming from the opposite side fo things, my wife and I still had an OK sex life - better than many people as I understand it. She suggested opening up the relationship, which I eventually agreed to. This is what brought the marriage to an end, it during its time, brought up so many questions and situations that a mono relationship just never face.
In the end, leaving her was the best thing that happened to me, I won't say us as I don't know for her, but she HAS remarried so...
It seems you are staying because you would rather be miserable with someone than without someone.
The thing is, that misery ytou feel now colours you in oh so many ways, and people can tell.
It makes you unattractive and people not want to be around you. I say you but it applies to everyone.
The one other thing I would add is that no, cheating is not acceptable, think of how she would feel if she finds out you had been with someone else, do you want her to feel that way. If the answer to that is yes, I dont care or I dont know then you have already checked out of the relationship.
Sit her down, dont say "we need to talk" which are the scariest words in the dictionary. Tell her what is missing from your life, and it is OK to want sex in it, its natural, it doesn't make you a perv or a degenerate. Ask her WHY she rejects it, see if there is a way to fix this with her.
Don't make decisions based on that one talk, have others.
As others have said, seek help and counselling, iy is not guaranteed to get you back together - it was counselling that showed me that I needed to get out of my marriage but it will help you both realise where you are at. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hi how do I bring up the idea of swinging with the wife?
My wife has gone off sex and never really like to from day one, though she warm up to it after we got married but just got worse, now none for 4 years.I’ve been with her for 23 years two kids.
How do you bring the subject up ?
Body confidence and my small cock has helped and wondered if she knew other men and women found her attractive and have some hot sex with a over 6” cock she might enjoy in after all?
.
not another one, if your wife doesn't want to swing you shouldn't be on here, obviously you have issues at home and would be detrimental to you meeting people, sort your home life out first, swinging isn't a place for affairs
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
Her response might be so you want to cheat on me,but you're worried of being found out so you ask me to try it 
