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Agreeing to let other half meet alone.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When we first started on here, we agreed basic rules. Part of the thrill for me was watching my partner playing with another guy. And we always said we never meet alone.
This hasn't stopped guys messaging and asking to meet her alone. And we've always politely declined. We've taken to hiding our profile when we're not on because we got pestered so much by guys asking to meet her or chat to her alone. Anyway, there are a few guys on our hotlist that we've chatted too regularly. She really likes them but we've never been able to find suitable times to meet all together. Recently we have spoken about her going to meet one of these select people on her own. I haven't dismissed the idea as I know she would love to get together with them. Obviously I would then be missing out on my thrill. We had talked about perhaps agreeing a video call if she met one, so I could watch what happens.
I think she would love to get the go ahead but is worried I might get funny about it. I don't know how I'd feel tbh. I would much rather be there to watch and join in. But I feel I should maybe allow her this for one time. Has anyone any experience of this situation? Is it wise to let it happen or should we stick to what we agreed at the start? |
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We started very similarly but now we do meet separately, mostly just because of the logistics, avaliablity and childcare.
Still get texts and pics. It's still exciting but different. A good balance of the both |
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Arrange a quick social brew or a video call just so you can all see each other.
Then if you all agree on a sexy meet remember she's coming back to you with photos (maybe) and a detailed description...that she can can act out with you |
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If I have a doubt about something like this I don't go ahead with it. Your relationship is the most important thing in all of this and risking feeling upset, hurt or whatever else you might feel isn't worth it. Because other people feel a certain way about something, good or bad doesn't mean you have to.
Good luck whatever you decide |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's not something I'd want to become a regular thing. I like to be there watching, feeling the tense excitement. I also like to join in. But I know she really has a hot thing for a couple of these guys. And if it makes it easier for her to get what she wants by a one off meet then I'd possibly agree. Is asking for a video call too much? Should I let her go and leave it til she comes home to let me find out what happened? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say I am against it. If I was sure it was going to be a one off I'd agree no problem. And in fairness she hasn't been pushing for it. But it is something we've discussed. I guess I wanted to know if anyone else had been in a same position. And would they say it was cool or would they say don't go there. |
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"It's not something I'd want to become a regular thing. I like to be there watching, feeling the tense excitement. I also like to join in. But I know she really has a hot thing for a couple of these guys. And if it makes it easier for her to get what she wants by a one off meet then I'd possibly agree. Is asking for a video call too much? Should I let her go and leave it til she comes home to let me find out what happened? "
Those are questions only you and she can answer. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for taking time to reply. We do need to talk about it some more. I guess it all comes down to trusting that it wouldn't become something more than I'm comfortable agreeing to. |
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Because of her work we often have to play separately. We spend our time between UK and Canaries but recently she just can't get time off work. We will always tell each other if an opportunity arises and make sure we are both happy and always share the experience after during a sexy facetime. We would never not discuss it first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for taking time to reply. We do need to talk about it some more. I guess it all comes down to trusting that it wouldn't become something more than I'm comfortable agreeing to. "
I say don't do it. Your gut is saying no. You are concerned in case they want to meet separately again and then it will feel like an affair.
Some people just aren't into meeting separately. I prefer to be there, same as you do. I want to be involved or it doesn't work for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You are concerned in case they want to meet separately again and then it will feel like an affair. "
That's exactly my concern. I would say it's highly likely the guy would ask her to meet again on the quiet. And if she really liked it that she might want to have another taste sometime without me knowing!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You are concerned in case they want to meet separately again and then it will feel like an affair.
That's exactly my concern. I would say it's highly likely the guy would ask her to meet again on the quiet. And if she really liked it that she might want to have another taste sometime without me knowing!
"
She could arrange something without you knowing anyway.
I'd talk to her about it. Xx |
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We've done it before but only with people who we have both met, had a social then met again to have fun with..
Only after a couple of meets have we done it, one was a 'surprise' as one of us was away..
Wouldn't ever contemplate such a scenario on the back of a chat or video call but respect others do.. |
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"Thanks for taking time to reply. We do need to talk about it some more. I guess it all comes down to trusting that it wouldn't become something more than I'm comfortable agreeing to. "
What I'm hearing is
It's ok ONLY as a one off
The problem is you can't control your other half...she may decide it is something she wants more often.
So you'd then be in a place of being pissed of if she did or trying to ban her
Neither would be great for your relationship
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"
You are concerned in case they want to meet separately again and then it will feel like an affair.
That's exactly my concern. I would say it's highly likely the guy would ask her to meet again on the quiet. And if she really liked it that she might want to have another taste sometime without me knowing!
"
What gives you that idea? |
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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago
Dundalk |
"
What gives you that idea?
Because nearly every guy that messages, if they think she's chatting on her own, they ask her to meet alone. "
Guys try that with us as well and I stop those messages straight away. I refuse to continue any chat if they only want to chat to me (Bo).
By the looks of what you have said on this thread and the worry you have that she may want to meet them alone at some point without you knowing as well,you need to have a proper chat with your other half and talk it through fully.Do not do anything you aren't happy with because that will only cause more issues farther down the line.When you are on here as a couple it needs to work for you both not just one person going along with things to keep the other happy. And disregard any person that messages you both who ignores one of you. That will never work it doesn't matter how hot they are.It should be mutual respect for everyone when they meet and that does include the third person,but not if they are ignoring your preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She wants to meet a couple of guys in particular, ones we've been chatting to for quite a while. We both do, we really clicked with them. We have tried to organise something all together but never seem to find a time that suits evryone. I know she wants to play with them, she has told me this. And I think I would agree to it as long as I was sure it was a one off. Obviously I miss out being there, so I had suggested videoing so I could watch. I guess I'm insecure about what would be suggested when I'm not there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thankyou all for your input and advice. We'll definitely have to talk about it some more. I don't think it's gonna happen unless we're both comfortable. |
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I’d say leave things as they are for you both at the moment. Being present while your partner is being enjoyed by someone else is what you enjoy now. When the time is right to enjoy hearing but not being there, you’ll know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi were Lyn & Steve my hubby is ok with guy/guys to use me he will just watch and wank. Lyn"
This is what I enjoy too. But I want to be there, not waiting at home to hear about it. That's the whole thrill for me. I have been considering letting her go out alone for one time, so she can meet a guy that she really wants. |
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"She wants to meet a couple of guys in particular, ones we've been chatting to for quite a while. We both do, we really clicked with them. We have tried to organise something all together but never seem to find a time that suits evryone. I know she wants to play with them, she has told me this. And I think I would agree to it as long as I was sure it was a one off. Obviously I miss out being there, so I had suggested videoing so I could watch. I guess I'm insecure about what would be suggested when I'm not there. "
How come you're not free to meet at the same time she is? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She wants to meet a couple of guys in particular, ones we've been chatting to for quite a while. We both do, we really clicked with them. We have tried to organise something all together but never seem to find a time that suits evryone. I know she wants to play with them, she has told me this. And I think I would agree to it as long as I was sure it was a one off. Obviously I miss out being there, so I had suggested videoing so I could watch. I guess I'm insecure about what would be suggested when I'm not there. "
You have def doubts really not a great idea as you will always wonder if she will meet these guys without you knowing. These kind of doubts can fester and cause bitterness. You don’t want to get to the point where every time she goes out the house alone your wondering where she is off too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for taking time to reply. We do need to talk about it some more. I guess it all comes down to trusting that it wouldn't become something more than I'm comfortable agreeing to.
What I'm hearing is
It's ok ONLY as a one off
The problem is you can't control your other half...she may decide it is something she wants more often.
So you'd then be in a place of being pissed of if she did or trying to ban her
Neither would be great for your relationship
"
If she meets them alone without his consent she is cheating. Of course he'd be pissed off! Cheating isn't swinging. |
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If you're really unhappy with her meeting alone, I wouldn't give the go ahead op.
I've happily let my other half meet women and couples alone ,as long as it's all upfront it's good.I enjoy hearing the details after,if you're already having doubts about it ,it could cause issues for you both. |
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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago
lake ariel |
As the Mrs. I’ve always meet alone. I had a friend with benefits but he got clingy, so it’s all random meets for me now. On the plus side for you is the reclaim sex its amazing, the down side is you’re not there  |
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Best thing we ever did! And I don't feel like I'm missing out at all.
Yet, as others have said, maybe the best thing for your situation would be a club. That way, you go together, she can go off and do her thing (maybe you watch, maybe you don't) and then you leave together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've talked about meeting separately. What we'd like is for the third party to meet the both of us first so we all know each other and are comfortable with each other, then if we met separately, afterwards at somepoint, we would come home to each other and reconnect and talk about our experience...we haven't actually done it yet, but like you we aren't sure how we'd feel about it. We've said we are open to trying it and if it's not for us in the end then at least we'd know. Good luck with it all
Mrs |
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Surely it’s about what’s best for you both if anything is going to make you uncomfortable don’t do it as it will only strain things….we are new to it all so can’t speak from experience but that’s how we plan to do things |
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You’d be absolutely amazed at the number of ‘couples’ I speak to where apparently the man has absolutely his wife’s consent for us to meet alone!!! … so he tells me!!!
- yeah right!
Only last night I had a joker, no pic, no veris, no profile narrative, who was part of a ‘couple’ … who wanted to meet alone!! Lol … which planet do these people think we live on!! Lol
R xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we first started on here, we agreed basic rules. Part of the thrill for me was watching my partner playing with another guy. And we always said we never meet alone.
This hasn't stopped guys messaging and asking to meet her alone. And we've always politely declined. We've taken to hiding our profile when we're not on because we got pestered so much by guys asking to meet her or chat to her alone. Anyway, there are a few guys on our hotlist that we've chatted too regularly. She really likes them but we've never been able to find suitable times to meet all together. Recently we have spoken about her going to meet one of these select people on her own. I haven't dismissed the idea as I know she would love to get together with them. Obviously I would then be missing out on my thrill. We had talked about perhaps agreeing a video call if she met one, so I could watch what happens.
I think she would love to get the go ahead but is worried I might get funny about it. I don't know how I'd feel tbh. I would much rather be there to watch and join in. But I feel I should maybe allow her this for one time. Has anyone any experience of this situation? Is it wise to let it happen or should we stick to what we agreed at the start? "
I was on here years ago with my ex . We agreed about the not meeting alone rule but then I found his single profile ! It was the dis loyalty that I couldnt get over not the actual act . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stick to what you agreed. What me and wife did few times. I went for a drive and let my mate and wife start..I'd come home and watch for a bit..then join in. I think if you met alone jealousy would inevitably occur. Not straight away. Maybe weeks later.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’d be absolutely amazed at the number of ‘couples’ I speak to where apparently the man has absolutely his wife’s consent for us to meet alone!!! … so he tells me!!!
- yeah right!
Only last night I had a joker, no pic, no veris, no profile narrative, who was part of a ‘couple’ … who wanted to meet alone!! Lol … which planet do these people think we live on!! Lol
R xx"
I also meet alone and K has with couples with have met together previously and trust.
If I was to meet you Mrs KJ would be available to chat either over the telephone or on a video call to confirm she's more than happy for you to meet me.
KJ |
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Personally this was a big mistake I made. I agreed to let my wife meet someone and she proceeded to text with him for nearly 2 years and when I asked her to stop she had an affair with him behind my back. I guess it’s down to how much you trust your partner and if she’s open with you. |
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"We started very similarly but now we do meet separately, mostly just because of the logistics, avaliablity and childcare.
Still get texts and pics. It's still exciting but different. A good balance of the both"
This is us. Real life commitments make arranging fun difficult. Solo play is much easier but communication is king! |
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Our approach has always been this; we have agreed rules; if person A wishes to offer something outside of those rules for the benefit of person B then person A may propose that. It's open to person B whether they take it.
Any consequences that flow naturally from that for person A are their own responsibility and recriminations are forbidden. Unless of course they don't flow naturally because there is some sort of subsequent infraction.
Follow your instincts. If they say go with it, offer it, but if you feel bad afterwards own it and move on as it's not their fault. |
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We set out with the same idea , the 2nd guy we had planned to all meet but due been let down with childcare hubby suggested to meet him alone at his place, which took a bit of getting our heads around , we had a video call & lots of messages before the meet & again when I was at his place to hubby to confirm safe & well, it was that good have arranged another solo meet for next week, hope all goes well & you have fun xx |
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Cherry has only gone it alone in clubs where I'm not far away or with others we've already played with and trust. Tony on the other hand has met several alone.. Yes there would be great worry sending her out alone to a stranger even with lots of communication  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are just having a conversion about this.
We have met a guy here that we would like to become a regular.
Aurelia is just weighing up whether she would prefer to be taken out and go to a Motel and send me videos or bring him to the house and lead him to the bedroom while I stay in the living room.
We are thinking the second scenario for this which would be our first time of not playing together. |
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The compromise for us has been for us to meet a guy and then for me to leave Mrs N alone for a while.
She knows I'd like to do what you propose and we have come close a couple of times but never quite achieved it.
It's a baby step and if you find it's comfortable then move it to the next level. The thing about cuckolding is it's not just all about another bloke shagging the misses, it's a 3 way thing where you all get something out of it and if the third party you introduce doesn't quickly get that then move on and find someone that does get it. |
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I came home from work the other day to find my wife all dressed up, smoking hot in stockings, heels and no pants.I ask why she was dressed up and she told me that she had a date with some guy.
I was a bit shocked, we had joked about it before and I had said I think I would be ok with it, but she always said she wasn’t interested. As I started to feel both jealous and excited she informed me she was just messing about and had dressed up for me.
However, I realized I had a huge hard-on from the thought of the love of my life, ditching me at home to go and fuck another guy!!
I don’t know if we could do it tbh. |
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"
You are concerned in case they want to meet separately again and then it will feel like an affair.
That's exactly my concern. I would say it's highly likely the guy would ask her to meet again on the quiet. And if she really liked it that she might want to have another taste sometime without me knowing!
"
THIS
Is your answer then
Clearly you don't want to open Pandoras box
Your wife either accepts your feelings or it'd suggest a different underlying issue
You work to continue your relationship security and maybe revisit further down the line
You allow but you're going to be stressed all the time about what might come after |
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If we were going to do this, we’d start in a Club and see if Beth fancied someone enough to go and have fun on her own (or indeed, if a lady was crazy enough to want me to do the same!)
We have toyed with the idea of both going to a Club ‘as singles’ and seeing what might happen - sod’s law says I wouldn’t get in  |
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We play together and apart. We are very comfortable with this and it works well for us. It does not for lots of others of course and we understand that. We always like to respect and talk to people to make sure all happy to go further. Always better as well when relaxed |
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By *omRachCouple
over a year ago
Wirral |
When we meet it's always been as a 3 but on one occasion a while back oir regular guy (at the time) got in touch and wanted to meet as he had a free evening.
Rach texted me to tell me this however I was stuck at work that night and had no way of getting away. The fact that she had even brought this up told me that she WANTED to go see him. I asked her if she did and she said YES so I happily agreed to her going.
Now I had watched them fuck on several occasions but my cock was never harder than that one time she met him alone. |
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By *andN2Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
Doesn’t bother us. We mostly play together, but Nat sometimes plays alone. She has her own profile for that.
The only slightly annoying thing is folk messaging our couples profile seeking to just play with Nat. |
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Although we have been going to sex clubs and out dogging for many years, it has always been as a couple. If my wife went into a room I would always go with her as I wanted to make sure she was safe and they (often two guys) would not try to do anything she did not want. This has been necessary, as one occasion a guy who just been anally fucking a woman was going to stick his unwashed cock into my wife's mouth. On another whilst out dogging a guy put cocaine on his finger and was going to put it in her vagina.
It is not just safety, there is the emotional risk. Going out alone makes it more personal experience than just fucking. I would not risk our relationship. |
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Wife is allowed to play alone with her fuck buddy who we have known for a while , and we may do it if we got to meet others on a regular basis , but i Would need to check the possible guys out and expect the same to happen to me , |
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As you say logistical nightmare trying to meet all at same time, What we did firstly initial social coffee meet So I could check them out also. Even that was too hard to organise, so after chatting on here we decided safest place was to meet alone in a club either day time or the odd evening when time allows. I'm not missing out as such as she tells me all about it, and when she is out I can think of nothing else but her getting pleasured.. The club staff always look out for her she doesn't go in private rooms unless she has built up trust.. |
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"As you say logistical nightmare trying to meet all at same time, What we did firstly initial social coffee meet So I could check them out also. Even that was too hard to organise, so after chatting on here we decided safest place was to meet alone in a club either day time or the odd evening when time allows. I'm not missing out as such as she tells me all about it, and when she is out I can think of nothing else but her getting pleasured.. The club staff always look out for her she doesn't go in private rooms unless she has built up trust.. "
Come say hi to us on the 5th or 6th July. Up for a concert.  |
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