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How do you let a FWB go,
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By *ellalua OP Woman
over a year ago
Camberley |
It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.
You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.
You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"
It depends what the relationship is worth to you. The person wanting the relationship with you can't be offering you enough if you are struggling to let go of the Fwb. I assume anyway. |
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I think first to ask is what do you want from life? This relationship you seek, are you willing to be monogamous? Is that truly you? The reason I ask is there are different ways to live life and its important to not lose who you are. Does this person who wants a relationship know about your FWB? What is their veiw on monogamy (and shade of)? Is it totally a no go to express ideas of non-monogamy with them? Simply is there scope to have both? And if not are you OK with that? Because there are different relationship models you can have with the right people.
However if your all in on this relationship and have to give up your fwb, you have to. Which is hard and sad because a FWB can be perfectly valid, meaningful and deep. Years ago I was in the same boat and traded a fwb for the shot of a conventional relationship. It didn't work out in the end. She wanted different things in life. But afterwards I also realised I don't want to live a conventional monogamous life. Personally Im not polly, but I am a swinger and have meaningful connections with others as well as My Fiancée. I found My One in life and part of why we are so awesome is because we free to be ourselves and enjoy things with others. So anyway my point is if you have to give them up its going to be hard like any break up. But only you can weigh everything up and choose what ultimately the best outcome for you if there can be no gold plate solution. Good luck and I wish you well.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not yet had the privilege of a FWB yet... So I don't know how I would handle it.
But if their feelings grew, I'd most likely be fine with that, because I'd be feeling the same.
That's why I'm looking here, so we would both be on the same wavelength.
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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow Scotland |
I struggled with this as my Fwb was exactly the type of man I wanted for myself. His personality was amazing and he probably “got me” more than my ex husband did. I definitely got feelings for him but he went back to his ex wife and kids. Wanted us to stay friends but I had to block him. He will always be the one that got away to me but it was definitely more one sided unfortunately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone side has said above. Do you HAVE to choose one over the other. Monogamy isn’t the only available relationship style. definitely worth taking time to think what YOUR ideal setup is and what brings you the most peace. Wishing you luck and love x |
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"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.
You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"
we talking about the googler or rikmak? Maybe he's reading this now, if so you've done it  |
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By *igger2Man
over a year ago
Neston |
My Fwb has just done the same thing met someone who wants a relationship with them and it was so hard to say ok to.
I think we both caught the feels but I had said from the get go that I didn't want a vanilla relationship
I'm sad that I don't get to experience her anymore she is a wonderful peson but happy that she has what she wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.
You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"
Sometimes you can't move on. You have to completely cut all ties. It's not fair on your FWB otherwise. |
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I think a FWB is just that - a friend with benefits. Friends will understand if you want to move on with your life.
I don’t see why you need to lose the friend part if you enter a relationship with someone else. If you still want the benefits part then that is something you need to reconcile with your new partner. |
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"Can't you have both? Best in the long run to find a swinging bf? That's what I'm looking for. "
I think hits the nail on the head
Maybe it’s the initial needs as a FWB as mine in the past have been exactly that great friends who we can do vanilla things together and later have great sex
Only a couple have had things in their lives in which they have started families etc and we lost touch but most even though play is impossible due to many things we still speak regularly and get on great.
I believe that maybe OP and overlapped the emotional/ love side of her relationship with the friend/ playmate side slightly which is fine when single but maybe causes issues later.
J |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
I’m also non-mono, but sometimes relationships end, including purely sexual ones. I don’t think friendships have to, though, and anyone in a relationship with me has to be able to handle this |
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I have had this many of times. Meet a woman on here or even the female from a couple and I explain that it’s just NSA sex, quite often after 3 or 4 meets I get a message asking for more.
I’ve found that it’s easier to be honest and say if that’s how they feel we should stop seeing each other right away as it only gets worse.
I’m reluctant to meet new people at my house now too, I’ve had women go crazy and start sending me gifts and even parked up down the road to see if I’m meeting other people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I e never knowingly had a FWB but my ex kind of turned in to one. But it had to end as for me I was still wanting a relationship or at least the conversation about a one sided open relationship |
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» Add a new message to this topic
It's hard but he's happy with her and that's all I want for him 
Don't know if this is an option for you but it's what I would/ have done personally but I'm non monogamous.
Pxx