FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I’d love to swing with my partner, but don’t know how to do it.
I’d love to swing with my partner, but don’t know how to do it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So my partner and I have talked casually in the past about fantasies. I’ve openly said that I would love to have threesome with her and another girl.
She said that would be fine, but due to her be anxious at times she wouldn’t want to see me with another girl. She would be happy to play with another girl, and let the girl do stuff to me. Also she said that if it was to happen then it would be an “in the moment” kid of thing where she’s had a few drinks.
That’s fine, but I doubt that would ever happen. We don’t find ourselves in those situations and I wouldn’t know where to look for a single girl on a night out to want to go back with us.
I’d love to introduce her to this site and organise meets with someone where she is involved. Or even get to the point where she can open up sexually have tell me what her fantasies would be. I might even be open to her sleeping with someone else in the future if she had sexual desires for someone.
I think her and I are on different sexual levels as well. I’m very interested in trying new things and experiencing sex with other people, but she’s jokes that she’s just vanilla.
I love her to bits and want to settle down with her and start a family. But i want to be able to explore sexually with her and to open her up to new sexual experiences. I would never want to hurt her, and it’s been in my mind allot that I could go through life not being able to experience the things I want due to being in a committed relationship and not being open. Also we’re both still young. 29M 31F
We’ve done a few couple sex question tests before where we have been open about our sex life and fantasies with each other. This has been great and we’ve both learnt things about each other. But i feel i always hold back due to being embarrassed to admit what i truly want, but also not wanting to offend her and upset her.
Has anyone had a similar experience with their partner. And ladies out there, have you ever grown into this sexually with your partner?
Thanks for reading and i hope you’re all keeping well. M  |
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It sounds like a swinging club would be the way forward with what she's comfortable with right now but getting her to one might prove challenging!
Is she aware you're on here?
We found you need to enter this equally (unless your into cuck scenarios of course) it's not fair for her being able to play with others being a 'might' when your asking for another woman to join you, she's not alone in her anxiety regarding other women joining there's more than one way to play in this lifestyle you can set your own boundaries that suit you both but of course she needs to be a little more open/involved to learn all this
It's a great lifestyle but will only work if your both 100% into it
Good luck! |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I do think this is why many couples join fab ,for fun with an extra fem.However it often seems like it's all driven by the male fantasy,unless the lady is genuinely bi and wanting to experiment with that side of her.
Why not let her have a look on fab with no pressure and see what she thinks.
Or see if she'd go to a club with you ,you don't have to do anything and can just watch /chat to others.
It can be hard if partners don't want to share their partner ,but having a frank conversation and laying your cards on the table is honestly the best way forward.
If she says no can you live with the sex life you have or will you want to experiment though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's the thing with fantasies though? If you're not both exactly on the same page, then opening up your relationship could also inadvertently blow it apart |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"So my partner and I have talked casually in the past about fantasies. I’ve openly said that I would love to have threesome with her and another girl.
She said that would be fine, but due to her be anxious at times she wouldn’t want to see me with another girl. She would be happy to play with another girl, and let the girl do stuff to me. Also she said that if it was to happen then it would be an “in the moment” kid of thing where she’s had a few drinks.
That’s fine, but I doubt that would ever happen. We don’t find ourselves in those situations and I wouldn’t know where to look for a single girl on a night out to want to go back with us.
I’d love to introduce her to this site and organise meets with someone where she is involved. Or even get to the point where she can open up sexually have tell me what her fantasies would be. I might even be open to her sleeping with someone else in the future if she had sexual desires for someone.
I think her and I are on different sexual levels as well. I’m very interested in trying new things and experiencing sex with other people, but she’s jokes that she’s just vanilla.
I love her to bits and want to settle down with her and start a family. But i want to be able to explore sexually with her and to open her up to new sexual experiences. I would never want to hurt her, and it’s been in my mind allot that I could go through life not being able to experience the things I want due to being in a committed relationship and not being open. Also we’re both still young. 29M 31F
We’ve done a few couple sex question tests before where we have been open about our sex life and fantasies with each other. This has been great and we’ve both learnt things about each other. But i feel i always hold back due to being embarrassed to admit what i truly want, but also not wanting to offend her and upset her.
Has anyone had a similar experience with their partner. And ladies out there, have you ever grown into this sexually with your partner?
Thanks for reading and i hope you’re all keeping well. M "
Sounds more you wanting this than her. It could all go very wrong |
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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago
shropshire |
"So my partner and I have talked casually in the past about fantasies. I’ve openly said that I would love to have threesome with her and another girl.
She said that would be fine, but due to her be anxious at times she wouldn’t want to see me with another girl. She would be happy to play with another girl, and let the girl do stuff to me. Also she said that if it was to happen then it would be an “in the moment” kid of thing where she’s had a few drinks.
That’s fine, but I doubt that would ever happen. We don’t find ourselves in those situations and I wouldn’t know where to look for a single girl on a night out to want to go back with us.
I’d love to introduce her to this site and organise meets with someone where she is involved. Or even get to the point where she can open up sexually have tell me what her fantasies would be. I might even be open to her sleeping with someone else in the future if she had sexual desires for someone.
I think her and I are on different sexual levels as well. I’m very interested in trying new things and experiencing sex with other people, but she’s jokes that she’s just vanilla.
I love her to bits and want to settle down with her and start a family. But i want to be able to explore sexually with her and to open her up to new sexual experiences. I would never want to hurt her, and it’s been in my mind allot that I could go through life not being able to experience the things I want due to being in a committed relationship and not being open. Also we’re both still young. 29M 31F
We’ve done a few couple sex question tests before where we have been open about our sex life and fantasies with each other. This has been great and we’ve both learnt things about each other. But i feel i always hold back due to being embarrassed to admit what i truly want, but also not wanting to offend her and upset her.
Has anyone had a similar experience with their partner. And ladies out there, have you ever grown into this sexually with your partner?
Thanks for reading and i hope you’re all keeping well. M
Sounds more you wanting this than her. It could all go very wrong "
Be open with her,talk to her |
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As everyone else has said above, it sounds like your GF isn't really keen, a fantasy is just that a fantasy. I know that you would love a MFF, as would most men on here. Does she even suspect that you're on fab? I've met MF couples where it's blatantly obvious the woman is only there to please the guy, it's not a great place to be in  |
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"As everyone else has said above, it sounds like your GF isn't really keen, a fantasy is just that a fantasy. I know that you would love a MFF, as would most men on here. Does she even suspect that you're on fab? I've met MF couples where it's blatantly obvious the woman is only there to please the guy, it's not a great place to be in "
absolutely this. |
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Sounds like you have 3 options to me.
1. End your relationship in persuit of your fantasies
2. Go behind her back and persue your fantasies
3. Forget your fantasies, she is not open to them and if you force her, you may inadvertently end up with option 1 |
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"So my partner and I have talked casually in the past about fantasies. I’ve openly said that I would love to have threesome with her and another girl.
She said that would be fine, but due to her be anxious at times she wouldn’t want to see me with another girl. She would be happy to play with another girl, and let the girl do stuff to me. Also she said that if it was to happen then it would be an “in the moment” kid of thing where she’s had a few drinks.
That’s fine, but I doubt that would ever happen. We don’t find ourselves in those situations and I wouldn’t know where to look for a single girl on a night out to want to go back with us.
I’d love to introduce her to this site and organise meets with someone where she is involved. Or even get to the point where she can open up sexually have tell me what her fantasies would be. I might even be open to her sleeping with someone else in the future if she had sexual desires for someone.
I think her and I are on different sexual levels as well. I’m very interested in trying new things and experiencing sex with other people, but she’s jokes that she’s just vanilla.
I love her to bits and want to settle down with her and start a family. But i want to be able to explore sexually with her and to open her up to new sexual experiences. I would never want to hurt her, and it’s been in my mind allot that I could go through life not being able to experience the things I want due to being in a committed relationship and not being open. Also we’re both still young. 29M 31F
We’ve done a few couple sex question tests before where we have been open about our sex life and fantasies with each other. This has been great and we’ve both learnt things about each other. But i feel i always hold back due to being embarrassed to admit what i truly want, but also not wanting to offend her and upset her.
Has anyone had a similar experience with their partner. And ladies out there, have you ever grown into this sexually with your partner?
Thanks for reading and i hope you’re all keeping well. M "
She's said she's open but anxious
So instead of fixating on another person why not start by exploring as a couple.
Try a club or two
Play with each other
If she is really open to something but likes the idea of it not being so planned a club is the best place to be |
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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago
Clevedon |
We had discussions on fantasies yrs ago, 20yrs ago i reckon. We decided to try a club. She was similar more vanilla not hugely out there, we did try a couple of bucket list things, but she never really got into it, usually had a couple of drinks too. Although this relaxed her, she wasn't so keen after and we never talked about what went on. She decided the scene wasn't for her so stopped. We have a really good marriage, so respected her descision. She allows me to have the occasional play but wants no details. That is actually a rare occurence now, and i would think from what you wrote on here, its a fantasy v reality for her and i think not for her, as i found seeing you have sex with a woman whilst they're watching doesn't go down that well with them. Alcohol as a few said is not a road to try. This side of fun in life isn't worth risking your relationship over if you love them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with Kitty_gizmo here..
If she's open to going to a club, merely both as spectators, just to get comfortable with what's going on & chat with other couples within the social lounge area.
You would probably need multiple visits, in which your just observing, unless of coarse she says "it's not for me" after the initial visit.
You can't force your desires on your partner, and equally she shouldn't suppress yours.
Sorry, but it may turn out that your not compatible on a sexual level.
I myself, suppressed my desires..but it finally got to a breaking point. But now at 45, it may be to late for me....
Hope this is of some help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communication is everything. Be honest & upfront about what you want/ need & try moving forward slow as a united unit, communicating openly & seeing how it goes together. A club is a way to observe without pressure if your more social/ extroverted, or joining here to look around & chat if you are more introverted.
Be warned, swinging will extrapolate your relationship - if its solid it will grow, if its weak it will likely break.
Equally, why commit to a life/future in a relationship where you aren't getting a fundamental need met? Can you live in vanilla forever to love her as she is, & not what you want her to be?
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"So my partner and I have talked casually in the past about fantasies. I’ve openly said that I would love to have threesome with her and another girl.
She said that would be fine, but due to her be anxious at times she wouldn’t want to see me with another girl. She would be happy to play with another girl, and let the girl do stuff to me. Also she said that if it was to happen then it would be an “in the moment” kid of thing where she’s had a few drinks.
That’s fine, but I doubt that would ever happen. We don’t find ourselves in those situations and I wouldn’t know where to look for a single girl on a night out to want to go back with us.
I’d love to introduce her to this site and organise meets with someone where she is involved. Or even get to the point where she can open up sexually have tell me what her fantasies would be. I might even be open to her sleeping with someone else in the future if she had sexual desires for someone.
I think her and I are on different sexual levels as well. I’m very interested in trying new things and experiencing sex with other people, but she’s jokes that she’s just vanilla.
I love her to bits and want to settle down with her and start a family. But i want to be able to explore sexually with her and to open her up to new sexual experiences. I would never want to hurt her, and it’s been in my mind allot that I could go through life not being able to experience the things I want due to being in a committed relationship and not being open. Also we’re both still young. 29M 31F
We’ve done a few couple sex question tests before where we have been open about our sex life and fantasies with each other. This has been great and we’ve both learnt things about each other. But i feel i always hold back due to being embarrassed to admit what i truly want, but also not wanting to offend her and upset her.
Has anyone had a similar experience with their partner. And ladies out there, have you ever grown into this sexually with your partner?
Thanks for reading and i hope you’re all keeping well. M "
In the nicest possible way and with all due respect - That's the sort of response you get when some women want to fob off an idea but don't want to be seen to be fobbing it off.
Those sorts of "in the moment" situations almost never happen even for those in the scene, because for the most part the people you hang about with either aren't swingers or you won't know they are swingers; and you wouldn't fuck about with your friendships by trying to make them swingers.
She knows this and is ensuring it won't happen without saying no. At least that's how I read it. You don't have much option but to respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone needs to have a couple of drinks before anything, they probably shouldn't be doing it
Exactly this
Mrs
Dutch courage vs alter ego?"
I appreciate everyone's different, but we don't feel we need to have a drink to relax before having fun with anyone else. If we don't feel comfortable with others when we are stone cold sober,we won't be getting naked with them. Thats just our preference
Mrs |
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BUT on a serious note:
It sounds like she really isn’t ready. And pushing the point will only damage your relationship. Does she even know you’re on here?