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Autistic here looking to make friends & and swinging advise
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Im a Autistic person so not the most social person newish to swinging and looking to make new friends and go to a club at some point to any one else in the same boat would love to chat , Thanks take care  |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Hi Mark, welcome to the madness.
You should pop the kettle on right now.
P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028
P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444
P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628
P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399
P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212
P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859
P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337
P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017
P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683
P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935
P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246
P12 - coming soon. |
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Yep your not alone, many of us are.
The club environment is not for the faint hearted as it's a highly social space. However you either do a thing or you don't. That's how I figured it. Its hard work, lots of hard work. Because your trying to decode everything constantly where everyone else seems to just be socialising instinctively with ease. And I get some of us are better at it than others. But if like me you see the effort being worth it in the presence of the prize go for it. I don't want to put you off, to let you know it takes work.
And the more you experience it and expose your self to it better you get and the less effort it becomes. And it is trial and error. You will make mistakes and social faux pas along the way. The key is to not get frustrated with yourself and learn to simply let them go and keep moving. And you'll find your own coping strategies. For example I have a immediate action drill for when I feel I'm getting a bit overwhelmed or struggling in the social and/or sensory ocean. I just remove myself calmly (making an excuse if necessary in company) to a calm quiet space, breath, regroup and go back in when stabilised. I like to think I pull it off well without people noticing or realising in struggling under the surface. |
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I've got an assessment on the 31st but have found clubs to be quite good places for me, despite the social side and people. Think it's because nobody judges and reality just seems to stop for a few hours. |
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
A good club will able to introduce you to a handful of trusted members, who will mentor you for the evening, ie talk to you until you feel brave enough to wander alone and feet at ease. Jaydees is one of those clubs, as they have a social area and a self service kitchen, which is always good for people watching. |
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