FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single Male Profile and Inbox Advice

Single Male Profile and Inbox Advice

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I know this site is hard for men but that is completely logical when you think of the biology and emotions behind the male sex drive vs female. The ratio of men to women is high. Women and couples are inundated with messages. Sorry guys, you have to accept this reality and think out of the box.

The site is like any matchmaking site. It’s about finding people who have similar needs to you. But the way single men set their profiles up and message doesn’t help women and couples easily see that.

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

- and related to the above, taking some time to understand your prospective play partners’ desires makes for a much better session. It’s not just about you getting your rocks off is it? Gratification is just not sexy.

- your opening message is “hi” or “hey” or a one liner. Even if writing or texting isn’t your thing, it’s your chance to make a first impression. I can’t help think it’s better to spend time on 5 good messages to carefully selected people than 100 throw away one liners. And yes, I know even the 5 may not get answered but you still increase your chances in my opinion.

- your opening message is “you free” “wanna meet” - it’s highly unlikely a woman or couple is going to say yes without some indication that you’re safe and will be a match on sexual play needs.

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either.

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

I do very well on here ...

For a middle aged duffer...

Its not difficult ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Excellent news. Perhaps share your tips with some of the chaps who are struggling. I can see your profile is well written.

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

You missed wuuto

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/23 21:44:53]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That old chestnut. LOL

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"That old chestnut. LOL "

Aye but it's like getting the other to start the conversation rather than beginning one. Obviously it's more used if you know each other personally if are going to make plans

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"Excellent news. Perhaps share your tips with some of the chaps who are struggling. I can see your profile is well written. "

Thx , I think you have pretty much covered it

I would add that in real life, if your half normal it's the opposite of fab...the real unicorn is the intelligent , sensual , fit, well dressed , engaging single guy ...

and a bit younger than me...

Be normal and put a clean shirt on and go to a social ..worth a thousand messages in this alternative dimension ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I mean yes. Online introductions shouldn’t be any different from meeting someone in person. You wouldn’t walk up to someone and say “what you up to?” without saying who you are and giving some context!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

100% on the in person socials etc.

Men can’t be unicorns in this context technically LOL!

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"I mean yes. Online introductions shouldn’t be any different from meeting someone in person. You wouldn’t walk up to someone and say “what you up to?” without saying who you are and giving some context! "

I probably would if I liked them and ask if they fancy going for a drink. What's the worst that could happen sorry I have a bf.... Take ever chance in life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know this site is hard for men but that is completely logical when you think of the biology and emotions behind the male sex drive vs female. The ratio of men to women is high. Women and couples are inundated with messages. Sorry guys, you have to accept this reality and think out of the box.

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

I have spent time reading people profiles ( F & some FM)

I have to disagree. I can write something which matches or ask questions on one profile and I can honestly say you get nothing back. 5 good messages and I will bet I get none back. You get more love in the forums tbh lol!

Its either of course I am not their cuppa tea or my message may get lost in their inbox. I just take it on the chin. I never double message.

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By *r SensualMan over a year ago

London

Or just bypass all the despair of constantly refreshing your browser to if that “1” pops up over your inbox which most times rarely will. Get yourself out there and seen in person at a club or an organised social.

Then there’s no preconceived ideas about who you are from a few words in a profile and some pictures and you can be taken at face value

Can count on my hand the number of meets I’ve had solely from using the site…

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Just a little common decency wouldn't go amiss...

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By *oxy jWoman over a year ago

somerset

but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It’s a form of matchmaking though isn’t it? Seeing who meets your needs in terms of sexual play and liaisons? You still have to match up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can imagine. Still better to go for quality over quantity in my view.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different"

Would you mine explaining more?

Women will experience the same hassle on here just as they will on a dating site.

I have gone out with women who used online dating profiles and they have shown me how it is for them and believe me .. it's just as bad! Dick pictures, shit messages, good message, one liners, copy paste ..

I never forget it. Before I met my ex GF she showed me her online dating account on POF before deleting it. Within the hours of 830pm - 1030pm on a sat night once she got 80 messages. As a guy i got none.

I am pretty sure even if women dont have pictures she will still get messages.

Any one agree?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Agreed! In person is always going to be better. Non verbal cues, body language and chemistry are quicker and more reliable in person. Can’t get that from a message.

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"100% on the in person socials etc.

Men can’t be unicorns in this context technically LOL! "

Why not ?

In myths unicorns were male...

It's the fact that they are very rare of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If someone walked up to me in a pub and their opening line was “what you up to?” I’d say, “in a pub” LOL - it might be funny for an icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A unicorn in swinging/ kink/ ENM is a single/ solo bisexual woman. Because they are much, much rarer than their male counterparts. But I have recently learned that the equivalent men are known as dragons. Which is kinda cool.

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different"

I enjoy an element of the two, if the lady likes to. I love a flirty date a good laugh, a dance and a naughty night and someone I have connected with , more common/likely with single ladies than couples admittedly.

Couples it's more likely just to be sex...

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"A unicorn in swinging/ kink/ ENM is a single/ solo bisexual woman. Because they are much, much rarer than their male counterparts. But I have recently learned that the equivalent men are known as dragons. Which is kinda cool. "

Oh that is cool, unicorns are also a symbol on the gay scene aren't they ..no idea why ?

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different

Would you mine explaining more?

Women will experience the same hassle on here just as they will on a dating site.

I am pretty sure even if women dont have pictures she will still get messages.

Any one agree?"

The online world is full of nutters , folk need to get out more

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different

Would you mine explaining more?

Women will experience the same hassle on here just as they will on a dating site.

I am pretty sure even if women dont have pictures she will still get messages.

Any one agree?"

You could've quickly changed that in looking for for like both so like friends as well

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By *en88Man over a year ago

Essex

2 questions if I may

Would you still attach a photo to a message if it's already a public photo on your profile?

Is it basically an unspoken rule to have a public dick pic?

Just wondered that's all

Thx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don’t think it hurts to attach the photos. It’s quite a nice personal touch.

Personally, I think public dick pics are unnecessary and don’t impress me. I guess that just comes down to the women/ couples you want to attract.

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By *entleman of FortuneMan over a year ago

Hull

"Excellent news. Perhaps share your tips with some of the chaps who are struggling. I can see your profile is well written.

Thx , I think you have pretty much covered it

I would add that in real life, if your half normal it's the opposite of fab...the real unicorn is the intelligent , sensual , fit, well dressed , engaging single guy ...

and a bit younger than me...

Be normal and put a clean shirt on and go to a social ..worth a thousand messages in this alternative dimension ...

Agreed - socials are the very best way of meeting your fellow swingers, be open, engaging - smile and be sociable, they are socials after all.

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By *hilvdecMan over a year ago

Stockport, Manchester

I only seem to get the occasional message. And it’s usually from guys!

Oh well. Luckily my right hand is more responsive!

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By *alleyDaveMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"I do very well on here ...

For a middle aged duffer...

Its not difficult ...

I'd love to know your secret, because for most of us it's extremely difficult, bordering on impossible on here. I've been on here six months, and not had a single reply to a message.

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By *alleyDaveMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"Or just bypass all the despair of constantly refreshing your browser to if that “1” pops up over your inbox which most times rarely will. Get yourself out there and seen in person at a club or an organised social.

Then there’s no preconceived ideas about who you are from a few words in a profile and some pictures and you can be taken at face value

Can count on my hand the number of meets I’ve had solely from using the site… "

I think I'd rather be ignored on here, than in person, it's less humiliating.

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By *alleyDaveMan over a year ago

Sheffield

Then there’s no preconceived ideas about who you are from a few words in a profile and some pictures and you can be taken at face value

Can count on my hand the number of meets I’ve had solely from using the site… "

With respect, I think you sum up what I've experienced on here. Gym bod = dozens of meet verifications, v dad bod, beer belly and man boobs like myself = 0 meet verifications.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you have had plenty of success on here, but it's easy for blokes with the gym body and verifications to say get out to a social or a club.

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By *M3785Man over a year ago

pulborough

Any help is appreciated

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By *ootprints1629Couple over a year ago

somewhere in moray

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

Also alot of guys say in there bio that they are honest and genuine guys, then when prompted they tell you there playing away from home/married. Far from being honest and genuine in our eyes.

Guys, be realistic...actually look at the ages of the people your msging, and where they might live. There really is no point in msging people that live in the far north of Scotland and you live in London...seriously who is gonna travel that far just for sex! Some might but I'm Guessing most won't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't seem to have any issues

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By *r SensualMan over a year ago

London

Then there’s no preconceived ideas about who you are from a few words in a profile and some pictures and you can be taken at face value

Can count on my hand the number of meets I’ve had solely from using the site…

With respect, I think you sum up what I've experienced on here. Gym bod = dozens of meet verifications, v dad bod, beer belly and man boobs like myself = 0 meet verifications.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you have had plenty of success on here, but it's easy for blokes with the gym body and verifications to say get out to a social or a club. "

I’m sorry but with all due respect I think your lack of interaction with people on here could possibly be down to your mindset and attitude. There’s a whole heap of women I know who actually like a man who has a “dad bod” over say a gym body like mine and these men are just as successful in the swinging world as I am. How I know this you ask? Because I’ve met and interacted with them. Some of which I actually get on really well with. Most times when I’m out in actually in clothes so nobody even knows what my body may look like underneath. I feel it’s more my personality and outlook than my appearance that bodes me well tbh with you m.

So it’s down you, are you gonna continue with the “woe is me” or are you gonna put your best foot forward, create a shift in your mindset, get yourself out there with a smile on your face and actually approach people and initiate conversation? I’ll leave that up to you to decide…

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By *ertfordshiremaleMan over a year ago

Hertfordshire

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

Thank you very much for this post!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally we are not looking sexually for single males. However do not mind to chat or meet in a club for a chat and if we feel like having sex. They can by all means watch and tug their bones.

Majority of the messages are indeed like the OP mentions. Barely any worth while that are thought through beyond "She is hot" "I'd like to eat her ass".

Yeah, me too buddy. Me too!

That's pretty much all we get. Only one message that we've received is actually worth entertaining out of a 100.

Men need to stop thinking with their cocks when approaching a woman for a conversation. You all have one. We've seen them all so yours regardless of size or shape isn't special and not what will carry conversation forward. To some it might, but not for us.

Respectful men get respectful replies and can have a chat with either the Mrs or us both. Dick picks and repetitive one liners are added to the block list.

This is just our opinion and each their own. Plenty of people prefer what we don't. Double edged sword.

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By *acavityMan over a year ago

Redditch

Pretty much the message from a couple (not looking for single guys) sent at 4 am on Saturday night.

And I probably would have considered it, if I'd seen it at the time.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

My biggest bugbear lately is men adding dick pics into messages regularly.

If men want them on their profile ,it's their profile and I can click off it.If they send me their cock in a message ,it's an instant block ,I specifically ask for none sending to me.

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By *ris GrayMan over a year ago

Dorchester

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either.

I have spent time reading people profiles ( F & some FM)

Its either of course I am not their cuppa tea or my message may get lost in their inbox. I just take it on the chin. I never double message.

"
yes but your username plays a part too

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"I do very well on here ...

For a middle aged duffer...

Its not difficult ...

I'd love to know your secret, because for most of us it's extremely difficult, bordering on impossible on here. I've been on here six months, and not had a single reply to a message. "

I'm 59, greying , no super model but not like a chewed toffee either. I'm sociable , look after myself and like to dress well...

If any guys are struggling on here and haven't been to a social yet ...then no amount of advice about messaging profiles etc will help.

If you go to a social and look half smart and chat you'll get a bunch of verris and meet loads of folk .

I spent my first 6 months on fab messaging , met one mad woman who shouldn't have been on here..and then went to the Oxford social...

Great fun snogged two woman and went home with a third ..

If I had messaged them randomly on fab I doubt I would have got a reply ..

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

I've often wondered how many of the meet now merchants would actually follow through if some said "ok then"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Pretty much the message from a couple (not looking for single guys) sent at 4 am on Saturday night.

And I probably would have considered it, if I'd seen it at the time."

To be fair. I’ve had a few of those from couples too. They’re not immune to the lack of effort.

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By *glyBettyTV/TS over a year ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

These threads are counter-productive. All you're doing is telling the timewasters how to answer your profile correctly, giving them the ability to waste your time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"These threads are counter-productive. All you're doing is telling the timewasters how to answer your profile correctly, giving them the ability to waste your time."

I've already had several PMs from guys thanking me for the advice. So I'd say that's OK.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I've often wondered how many of the meet now merchants would actually follow through if some said "ok then""

I said yes to someone, asked him how quick he could get here... He was 200 miles away, shows you how much notice they take!

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By *jonesMan over a year ago

Plymouth

"I've often wondered how many of the meet now merchants would actually follow through if some said "ok then"

I said yes to someone, asked him how quick he could get here... He was 200 miles away, shows you how much notice they take!"

Did you not notice ? Either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hi everyone,

I’ve just taken the time to read through majority of this thread of which i seem think i meet or have met most of the advice given in order to at least receive a reply here and there.

Each person i come across i spend time to go through their profile, read their bios and try to get an understanding to see if i’ll fit their interests before sending a message. To which then I’ll message them telling them abit about me, include some pictures and offer to get to know one another, potentially a casual meet before any frisky business.

Yet still out of the countless messages I’ve sent since rejoining again i can probably count the number of replies on one hand… and I can’t seem to understand why. Any help is appreciated.

Thanks people

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Yet still out of the countless messages I’ve sent since rejoining again i can probably count the number of replies on one hand… and I can’t seem to understand why. Any help is appreciated."

Based on your pics, we'd reply. But then reading your profile, there's a few red flags which mean we'd probably not.

But also consider the numbers. We get no fewer than ten offers each day. That's 300 in a month, and that's the lowest estimate.

We meet no more than once each week, and half of our meets are with people we've met before. So say we need two, maximum three "new" guys each month.

That's just 1% of the offers we get. Not only does the profile have to good, the pics attractive, the person physically attractive (to Char) and the message worth reading, but you'd also have to catch us on a day when we're looking to try and book something otherwise it'll just get overlooked.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That makes sense and it’s understandable, anyone that thinks they’d instantly stand out on this site that’s flooded with men would be delusional.

What red flags would you say there is with my profile?

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"What red flags would you say there is with my profile?"

For us, the lack of a meet verification would be a barrier, as would the combination of coming back to Fab after a break and not being able to accommodate. May well be perfectly valid reasons but in our experience guys that keep making new profiles are either flakey, are getting their profiles deleted by admin or (and this goes hand in hand with can't accomodate) got found out by a partner.

As I said, may well be perfectly valid, just our experience.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly that the lack of a meet verification goes hand in hand with rarely if ever getting a reply on here, and even if i do I’ll exchange a few messages then nothing comes from it. I know having meet verifications make it somewhat easier and more trustworthy but for someone like me who’s came back I’m finding it quite difficult to gain peoples trust and interest just from a few profile pics and a decent opening message.

The new profile is due to me now being single again yeah (i got out and returned)

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Exactly that the lack of a meet verification goes hand in hand with rarely if ever getting a reply on here, and even if i do I’ll exchange a few messages then nothing comes from it. I know having meet verifications make it somewhat easier and more trustworthy but for someone like me who’s came back I’m finding it quite difficult to gain peoples trust and interest just from a few profile pics and a decent opening message.

The new profile is due to me now being single again yeah (i got out and returned)"

All perfectly valid, however the problem with something like Fab is that by the time you've got a chance to explain stuff, people have already made the assumptions and passed you by.

As someone who's been here before, are none of your previous meets still around to verify you? Failing that, socials and clubs are places to pick up a verification....it at least proves you will leave the house.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah I’ve been thinking that as well, it seems to be the only way to verify that I’m genuine.

My previous account only had a handful of meet verifications which was a struggle to achieve as well let me add.

I haven’t yet gone to a club of some sort yet. I’d like to but I don’t know sounds abit intimidating to go to solo. Maybe im just overthinking it

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I haven’t yet gone to a club of some sort yet. I’d like to but I don’t know sounds abit intimidating to go to solo. Maybe im just overthinking it"

Absolutely intimidating....as a single guy with anxiety issues, there's no way I'd go to a club on my own (but then I'd not be on Fab either) and it's nerve wracking still, going as half of a couple.

But most of the time there's a forum thread about a particular night at a particularl club and you can get to see who's going, chat on the forum a bit and hopefully arrange to at least say hello to someone there. If you go with the intention of not getting your dick out, solely to mingle in the bar and get your name rembwred, then you ought to be fine.

(Bry)

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By *r-8-BBCMan over a year ago

LONDON

I'm good thanks

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"I've often wondered how many of the meet now merchants would actually follow through if some said "ok then"

I said yes to someone, asked him how quick he could get here... He was 200 miles away, shows you how much notice they take!"

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By *izzly99Man over a year ago

london

interesting thread thanks! pretty much my experience, i'm respectful, have my pics, make sure i read others profile, distance, accomodation etc.. but not getting any replies. I think the ratio male / female goes massively to the guys disadvantage.. I am also getting to the conclusion that a social is the only way forward really.

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By *ackbydemandMan over a year ago

Leicester

"I haven’t yet gone to a club of some sort yet. I’d like to but I don’t know sounds abit intimidating to go to solo. Maybe im just overthinking it

Absolutely intimidating....as a single guy with anxiety issues, there's no way I'd go to a club on my own (but then I'd not be on Fab either) and it's nerve wracking still, going as half of a couple.

(Bry)"

This is exactly what I did on my first trip out after coming out of retirement. Well dressed, respectful distance, chatted politely and engaged with genuine interest. I was pulled into a room with a couple before the end of the night. I was one of the lucky ones, 100 others get nothing. Fairly certain without all those things, I would have been amongst the 100 others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I genuinely think the profiles are irrelevant I think this site is more of interacting with people you meet on the club scene.

Casual meet ups are easier on things like tinder, just takes a little more talking to find out each others kinks as they aren’t as displayed as on here.

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I genuinely think the profiles are irrelevant I think this site is more of interacting with people you meet on the club scene."

The many, many guys* we've met through Fab would disagree with you.

* with good profiles, good pics, good manners and the ability to hold a conversation.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi everyone,

I’ve just taken the time to read through majority of this thread of which i seem think i meet or have met most of the advice given in order to at least receive a reply here and there.

Yet still out of the countless messages I’ve sent since rejoining again i can probably count the number of replies on one hand… and I can’t seem to understand why. Any help is appreciated.

Thanks people

Sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. I would say keep going. Keep chatting in the forums. Go to in-person events and network that way too. I hope in those initial messages you also take some time to ask specific questions about something in their bio too?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi everyone,

I’ve just taken the time to read through majority of this thread of which i seem think i meet or have met most of the advice given in order to at least receive a reply here and there.

Yet still out of the countless messages I’ve sent since rejoining again i can probably count the number of replies on one hand… and I can’t seem to understand why. Any help is appreciated.

Thanks people

Looking at your profile, I would vary the pictures a bit perhaps. You in different scenarios. I personally would be put off by the gym poses. Also, if you haven't already, have a few nice smiley pictures in private ready to send to people. Show that you're a genuine, caring human, as well as a beautiful deviant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I haven’t yet gone to a club of some sort yet. I’d like to but I don’t know sounds abit intimidating to go to solo. Maybe im just overthinking it

Absolutely intimidating....as a single guy with anxiety issues, there's no way I'd go to a club on my own (but then I'd not be on Fab either) and it's nerve wracking still, going as half of a couple.

(Bry)"

Swinger Socials or kink munches are better, if they're run well. Everyone gets introduced to people. Some of them have icebreakers or themes.

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By *alleyDaveMan over a year ago

Sheffield

"I do very well on here ...

For a middle aged duffer...

Its not difficult ...

Your joking arnt you, I'm nigh on impossible on here.

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By *howtsMan over a year ago

Kings Lynn

Thank you for the advice! I’ve found it useful to read over, I’ve tinkered with my profile and now I’ll see if I get anymore luck… ?? if anyone can spare a minute to have a look through and give some hints and prompts it’d be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

Sam

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By *howtsMan over a year ago

Kings Lynn

HOW?? I’d love to know your techniques!

I’ve had no luck so far, maybe I don’t have the gift of the gab when messaging ??????? it’s hard to know whether I’m coming on to strong or sounding boring??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never had any problems I absolutely love the site but then again I feel I use it for what I want it for instead of being reliant on it

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Thank you for the advice! I’ve found it useful to read over, I’ve tinkered with my profile and now I’ll see if I get anymore luck… ?? if anyone can spare a minute to have a look through and give some hints and prompts it’d be greatly appreciated!! Thanks!

Sam"

Considering you have a face pic in your public pics, how about making it your profile pic? Face pics always stand out in an inbox.

Your "looking for" is set to 18-99 and we're quite sure that's not right.

You're close to The Annex ...it's friendly, not too expensive and you're bound to get a few meet verifications from people if you visit and chat.

Oh ..one tasteful dick pic is good, but keep it classy.

(Bry)

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By *atnipOMan over a year ago

sawbridgeworth

"but its not a matchmaking site they are dating sites this is a swingers site the approach/outcome is totally different

Would you mine explaining more?

Women will experience the same hassle on here just as they will on a dating site.

I am pretty sure even if women dont have pictures she will still get messages.

Any one agree?"

A friend once described the situation for women going on line on a dating site. As soon as she went online it was line dropping your bag of chips at the seaside. The seagulls swoop down en masse.

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By *hat Guy with the RopesMan over a year ago

Kingston upon Hull

I've done all that your're suggesting and have had very little interest. I enjoy the stories and the visuals,I prefer real people to fakers. I'd love to meet someone local, in the same position as me who can share the release valve of mutual satisfaction!

I am 62 though, which puts some off.

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By *eliciouslyFilthyGentMan over a year ago

York

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

All very good advice, and I’d bet there are more men that follow the above than you’d think.

Obviously there are the one line, fuck now, dozen dick pic types, and plenty of them, but for every well crafted message I send, face pics included, ensured I’m what they are looking for etc, the vast majority are deleted out of hand, or ignored completely.

Maybe i’m just plain ugly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

This is all so true.

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By *erkshireBiCoupleCouple over a year ago

Reading

We have both just started separate single profiles.

Yes it's difficult to get noticed but go for a coffee, go to socials, engage in the forums.

Read profiles, treat people with respect.

This is the biggy. If you get chatting or the opportunity to meet someone. Think with your big head not the little one. Some of the best meets we have had start with laughter and having a good time before it even gets that far.

Then when you ask its a yes.

Can't reply on my single profile as its only 2 days old.

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By *J StathamMan over a year ago

Manchester

OP, Can you give my profile a rating please?

Out of 5 stars like hotels

I'd like to see how you would rate mine, regardless of if I'm your type or not

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By *amiebajwaMan over a year ago

Maidenhead

Sam

Considering you have a face pic in your public pics, how about making it your profile pic? Face pics always stand out in an inbox.

Your "looking for" is set to 18-99 and we're quite sure that's not right.

You're close to The Annex ...it's friendly, not too expensive and you're bound to get a few meet verifications from people if you visit and chat.

Oh ..one tasteful dick pic is good, but keep it classy.

(Bry)"

I would appreciate if you could give some feedback to me on what I can do to improve

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"I would appreciate if you could give some feedback to me on what I can do to improve "

Profile text is okay....nothing original but nothing offensive. End of the day, you're a guy looking for sex and it's difficult to stand out with text.

Your pic's not doing you any favours, but at least it's not a crude dick pic. Think about more, better pics. Tasteful nudes, one dick pic and some clothed.

(Bry)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

FWIW these are some of the reasons why I (and many of my female and couple Fab friends) aren’t replying to your messages:

- you have no profile pic, no public pics

- your only public pics are cock pics

- you don’t send a face pic with your first message

- you send a face pic but you’re not smiling at all

- you have a blank profile or only 2/3 sentences

- your profile is riddled with generic text and doesn’t sound very personal to you or different from the other single guys here

- you’ve hidden your profile but still try and message new people to meet - que?

- you say in your profile or opening message you’re horny - we are all horny!

- it’s clear you haven’t read a profile - for example you don’t meet straight people, but get messages by straight people all the time

I’m sure some of this is in Fab’s help guide when you sign up. But almost every week there are posts in the forums from frustrated guys.

I’m sure my list isn’t exhaustive either. "

Great advice- agree with it all

Mrs

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By *eyeYCouple over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Whilst taking a break personally. We're unsure why if folk are tired of the one line, no real effort messages with the lovely cock pic's.. Why not use the filters to stop them?? Easy to find well verified and decent guy's if you are in the mood...

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By *harAndBryCouple over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Whilst taking a break personally. We're unsure why if folk are tired of the one line, no real effort messages with the lovely cock pic's.. Why not use the filters to stop them?? Easy to find well verified and decent guy's if you are in the mood...

There's no filter for "one line message" or "cock pic attached" unfortunately.

(Bry)

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By *eyeYCouple over a year ago

Nr Leicester

There's no filter for "one line message" or "cock pic attached" unfortunately.

(Bry)"

Excuse us, weren't specific. Block single guy's and search for one as and when you require..

If you instigate a conversation, they can reply regardless of your filters.

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I've often wondered how many of the meet now merchants would actually follow through if some said "ok then"

I said yes to someone, asked him how quick he could get here... He was 200 miles away, shows you how much notice they take!

Did you not notice ? Either "

Yes... I was being sarcastic

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By *imi_RougeWoman over a year ago

Portsmouth

Sam"

You're cute, have your face pic as your avatar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Appreciate the post. Could any of you please go through my profile and give me any advice on how I could improve it and let me know if I should change the pictures or if they're good enough? Thanks in advance.

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

Best advice don't copy and paste it and make it your own that's being lazy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wait was that meant for me?? I didn't copy nothing in my profile. Lol.

My bad if you were just saying that in general.

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By *ucka39Man over a year ago

Newcastle

"Wait was that meant for me?? I didn't copy nothing in my profile. Lol.