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Swingers clubs - ID issues?
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Morning 
Be gentle with me, first forum topic!
I’ve been on the scene as a single bloke for many years and have on occasions visited Chams in Darlaston so not totally green.
Recently started seeing someone new and had “the chat”. She would quite like to try visiting a club and trying some very low key watching and being watched to see if the scene interests her.
She is however extremely security conscious (in a public facing role that it could cause her real issues) has no real online presence or social media etc. the more and more I read pretty much all clubs require photo ID membership and this is really off putting for her.
Does anyone have any recommendations for clubs that don’t require photo ID for membership etc, we are both more than happy to travel a significant distance so she could atleast try it so location isn’t an issue. Could easily make it a weekend away.
My only other thought is some kind of organised party perhaps but she would like it to be in a proper, controlled environment. |
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"Morning
Be gentle with me, first forum topic!
I’ve been on the scene as a single bloke for many years and have on occasions visited Chams in Darlaston so not totally green.
Recently started seeing someone new and had “the chat”. She would quite like to try visiting a club and trying some very low key watching and being watched to see if the scene interests her.
She is however extremely security conscious (in a public facing role that it could cause her real issues) has no real online presence or social media etc. the more and more I read pretty much all clubs require photo ID membership and this is really off putting for her.
Does anyone have any recommendations for clubs that don’t require photo ID for membership etc, we are both more than happy to travel a significant distance so she could atleast try it so location isn’t an issue. Could easily make it a weekend away.
My only other thought is some kind of organised party perhaps but she would like it to be in a proper, controlled environment. "
I know it won't really help ease the fears but if she us in such a role she should know about GDPR. Ask whatever club about it and see what their policy is.
I'm not sure if any keep copies or if they just want to glance at it (never been to a club). |
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Thanks do appreciate the thoughts, I think the main concern is regarding for example a data hack or breach once, one it’s out there then it’s out there. It’s not a huge concern for me but a real issue for her.
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"Thanks do appreciate the thoughts, I think the main concern is regarding for example a data hack or breach once, one it’s out there then it’s out there. It’s not a huge concern for me but a real issue for her.
"
Best thing would be to call whatever club you want to visit and seek reassurance. Data breaches I would imagine is fairly rare, appreciate they do probably happen though |
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"Thanks do appreciate the thoughts, I think the main concern is regarding for example a data hack or breach once, one it’s out there then it’s out there. It’s not a huge concern for me but a real issue for her.
"
Is she not concerned at all about bumping into someone she knows? I'd have thought that's perhaps a bigger risk |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
If you go to a large fetish event like Torture Garden or Anti-Christ in London the venue require ID (terms of licensing for many if not all London venues) but if it was ever leaked it would be one of tens of thousands that had attended the venue over many months not tied to a specific event.
Thats probably the best compromise you'll find. Most swingers clubs require membership as they are private members clubs |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
Most clubs don't keep a copy, just want to see it and tick a box to say they've seen it, but there are forms kept in a locked place, which is necessary I believe as part of them being private members club.
There are a very small number of clubs that do not require membership, the only one I know of personally is the Attic, Derby area. |
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You are all stars thank you…..
For the other poster no she isn’t concerned about seeing anyone she knows, fundamentally if you see someone you know then they are there for the same reason aren’t they! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are all stars thank you…..
For the other poster no she isn’t concerned about seeing anyone she knows, fundamentally if you see someone you know then they are there for the same reason aren’t they! "
Totally understand this. Seeing someone you know's a bit different to all and sundry (strangers) being privy to your private details |
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Just check the policy with the club you're interested in going to.
From my recollection they don't copy or store the ID. They just glance it to ensure the membership is the same as the ID on sign up. As I'm aware the ID is never used again on entry to the club. |
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Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated. |
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"Greenhouse on Saturday night in Newport is a bi-night and they don’t take down any details at all. Friendly discreet crowd in my experience."
That's interesting as the Luton one now requires you to fill out a form on mixed bi day and details are on their system. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated."
I think the obvious step would be to contact the club in question and ask how they protect members data?
I do not believe that anyone is more likely to be concerned about data safety than the owner of a swingers club. Any data leak would likely mean the immediate end of their business, it’s an enormous risk and one that will have been taken into account. |
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No I'd required for couples in Cupid's. I'd suggest going to an organised event at one of the clubs near you or make a weekend of it and try further afield. We too were both really nervous about data breaches etc at the start but never had any issues, we love it so much now we are now hosting an event. |
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"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated."
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive. |
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"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive. "
I can’t see a way to answer that without outing which ones we might work for. All I can say is that I’m well aware of atleast two who would view such activities as disciplinary ones regardless. I think it’s all well and good to know that it wouldn’t stand up at a later disciplinary/tribunal but by that point your career is destroyed once they have pushed it that far. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive. "
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club"
I used to work in financial services a while back and in the particular role I had there was a 'reputational disrepute' clause. Not specifically linked to swinging, just any behaviour (drink/substance abuse, behaviour in public, publicly visible online activity) that could negatively reflect on the company.
Any disciplinary action would be situationally specific but swinging could easily have fallen into that category.
It's not uncommon in certain private sector careers.
A |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club"
No, but they do have the power to terminate employment or professional registration, and to the best of my knowledge this has not been tested in court yet. If it doesn’t bother you, fair enough, but it’s a reasonable concern for other people to have. |
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"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club
I used to work in financial services a while back and in the particular role I had there was a 'reputational disrepute' clause. Not specifically linked to swinging, just any behaviour (drink/substance abuse, behaviour in public, publicly visible online activity) that could negatively reflect on the company.
Any disciplinary action would be situationally specific but swinging could easily have fallen into that category.
It's not uncommon in certain private sector careers.
A"
Think this argument is much over hyped. It's almost like sacking someone because of their sexuality. The world has moved on. |
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Just a note the more destroyed the career the bigger the employment tribunal payout.
It's a toss up really because there is always some "see you next Tuesday" ready to bl@ckm@il swingers.
Personally I don't give a f. but I don't have a hard earned career for a good reason.
In my current job, my mindset is fire me unfairly so I can sue for discrimination and fuck off to a tropical island and open a beach bar with my compensation money.
I have a friend who took two big employers to tribunal and won 10s of thousands and still maintained her career due to disability discrimination.
I'm never letting my employer compromise my private life or mental health ever again. |
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To look at the other side of it, you don't know who will be in the clubs that might recognise her so being overly cautious regarding providing photo ID may contradict the club environment you're going to be putting yourselves in? Just a different train of thought.... |
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"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club
I used to work in financial services a while back and in the particular role I had there was a 'reputational disrepute' clause. Not specifically linked to swinging, just any behaviour (drink/substance abuse, behaviour in public, publicly visible online activity) that could negatively reflect on the company.
Any disciplinary action would be situationally specific but swinging could easily have fallen into that category.
It's not uncommon in certain private sector careers.
A
Think this argument is much over hyped. It's almost like sacking someone because of their sexuality. The world has moved on."
The world has moved on but not some antiquated professions or organisations. I know someone who was fired for posting on social media that he had a bad day at work. Like come on....is he not allowed to have a bad day at work? Is every day we go to work all sunshine and roses.
That's why I don't add work colleagues to my social media. |
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Naomilatte already mentioned the Attic in Derby. No membership, no card payments, no ID check. If you are lucky enough to look under 21 you may be asked for proof of age, but nothing is retained. Pop in during a daytime for a tour then decide if you want to pop the full cherry on a party night. |
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"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club
I used to work in financial services a while back and in the particular role I had there was a 'reputational disrepute' clause. Not specifically linked to swinging, just any behaviour (drink/substance abuse, behaviour in public, publicly visible online activity) that could negatively reflect on the company.
Any disciplinary action would be situationally specific but swinging could easily have fallen into that category.
It's not uncommon in certain private sector careers.
A
Think this argument is much over hyped. It's almost like sacking someone because of their sexuality. The world has moved on.
The world has moved on but not some antiquated professions or organisations. I know someone who was fired for posting on social media that he had a bad day at work. Like come on....is he not allowed to have a bad day at work? Is every day we go to work all sunshine and roses.
That's why I don't add work colleagues to my social media. "
Don't know what they posted. But clearly if someone says something 'bad' about an employer that's one thing. But your boss sacking you because they discovered you went to a swinging social, say, is something else. I wouldn't have thought people put they've gone swinging on a social media site. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Indeed, we get the reasoning behind it and why for some it’s a massive pro not a con. The issue is that in some organisations/services this is not just an “embarrassing” issue but a disciplinary one for which you could lose a hard worked for career.
Sure, data breaches are unlikely but for some people the concern about it is significant.
All the replies are appreciated.
Out of interest which organisations or services would view visiting swinging clubs as a disciplinary issue? I can’t see any such organisation making that stand up in an employment tribunal. Even if you work for the security services, they must realise that having such policies would make staff more, not less prone to a word beginning with black the site won’t let me use, so counter productive.
I must admit I cant think of any either, certainly I know of people whose jobs require enhanced background checks who attend clubs.
One of our human rights isvtgevrightbto a private life, and while I understand the need for discretion online no employer has the power to stop people attending a swinging club
I used to work in financial services a while back and in the particular role I had there was a 'reputational disrepute' clause. Not specifically linked to swinging, just any behaviour (drink/substance abuse, behaviour in public, publicly visible online activity) that could negatively reflect on the company.
Any disciplinary action would be situationally specific but swinging could easily have fallen into that category.
It's not uncommon in certain private sector careers.
A
Think this argument is much over hyped. It's almost like sacking someone because of their sexuality. The world has moved on.
The world has moved on but not some antiquated professions or organisations. I know someone who was fired for posting on social media that he had a bad day at work. Like come on....is he not allowed to have a bad day at work? Is every day we go to work all sunshine and roses.
That's why I don't add work colleagues to my social media. "
Yep. I worked for them.for over a decade. In that time I saw people disciplined and dismissed for everything from getting pissed at a wedding and fighting (video posted to social media), to comments they made online on various subjects.
In 2010 I was called in to see my boss as someone had outed me to the company as a swinger who helped host at the local club. I was able to deny all knowledge because I'd been careful. There were no face photos of me on display on my profile, no distinguishing features, the name used was different, the age was different and the location was vague. They simply couldn't prove it was actually me.
If they had've been able to I'd have been out, pretty much guaranteed.
I've never been worried about the whole ID at clubs issue. I'm still amazed that some clubs don't require it for safety reasons as well as licensing ones, as I know so LA's require it particularly since covid. Not sure I'd be happy to go to a club where anyone could get in using a fake identity and the club had no record of attendees following an incident such as an assault, other crime or a fire. Given most will have limited CCTV for privacy purposes it's important to have some kind of record of who's in the building.
A |
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"Naomilatte already mentioned the Attic in Derby. No membership, no card payments, no ID check. If you are lucky enough to look under 21 you may be asked for proof of age, but nothing is retained. Pop in during a daytime for a tour then decide if you want to
pop the full cherry on a party night.
"
Thanks for the info .would be interested in a daytime visit but would never go on a party nite . |
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"Naomilatte already mentioned the Attic in Derby. No membership, no card payments, no ID check. If you are lucky enough to look under 21 you may be asked for proof of age, but nothing is retained. Pop in during a daytime for a tour then decide if you want to
pop the full cherry on a party night.
Thanks for the info .would be interested in a daytime visit but would never go on a party nite ."
You really should, you may even bump into us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I also work in a professional public facing role, tbh, the wanting identification reassures me that I’m safe there.
I’ve never heard of a Data Breach from a Private Swinging club, but have from other major companies, id reassure her. Maybe when she’s visited some clubs that don’t require ID she may feel better about it.
Mrs |
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Indeed and it’s fair to say most people can see both sides of the coin. Luckily there are clubs it seems that accommodate both sides. I’d imagine as you say once she may have been she might be a little more reassured once a toe has been stepped into the water |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
Pleasures in Kent doesn’t require ID. DV8 in Kent is also the same.
I also highly recommend BGHS (Bristol Gardens Health Spa). It’s a fantastic naturist spa with upstairs playrooms. Ideal for first timers if they are ok with being naked in the water |
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Likewise the attic is the club that springs to mind to me to meet your requirements. In my opinion the attic can be a bit Wild West in terms of the clientele and behaviour but in my experience of many clubs your options are limited when it come to ID.
However if it's just your female partner that's ID is an issue in my experience they'll let it slide (my other half has on occasion forgot hers). Maybe it would have been the same the otherway round too, but I suspect women are often seen as more credible, less risky and clubs are very keen to have women in. Providing in addition you both give off a good vibe as individuals and as a Couple. A lot of club staff are quite attuned to when a vibe is a little iffy. However personally I wouldn't run the risk of traveling to a club on the assumption they'll be OK with her not having ID. |
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I too have a time that could possibly be compromised in the event of a data breach, but have provided ID a couple of times for club membership, and he trusted them.
The ironic thing is that the ID I provide looks nothing like who me … as in the female me!
R xx |
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