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Sober swinging
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By *PanBB OP Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? |
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I'm always sober as I drive to clubs as a single. Never seen it as an issue. Only a couple of occasions when I've seen people very d*unk in a club and they were the exception to the rest of the people there. If anything I always notice smokers who disappear outside more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
I’ve only been to a club 3 times and a social event once. Each time I was completely sober as I was driving. for me, I prefer being sober as I know I’ll remember everything, not put myself in a vulnerable position being a single woman and also know I’m making conscious decisions of things I actually want to do.
Also there’s no bigger turn off than a person who’s so blatantly d*unk they’re slurring their words and staggering everywhere  |
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Prefer to be sober at clubs and preference is to be involved with those that stay sober. For me it keeps things at a level where there is no room for misinterpretation. I’ve seen some pretty wild arguments with others when it goes wrong and an ambulance arriving to attend some bloke who was pissed with too much viagra in him, he nearly had a heart attack! |
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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago
Buckley North Wales |
Tea drinks on club nights, bit as I always drive I would not even consider drinking. Though being Teetotal helps, being sober has never had a negative effect on a club night for me.
But we have seen the opposite, couples are much more likely to have a flare up or a domestic at a club if one or both have been drinking. If there is any preclub tension between you, tread especially carefully.
Likewise guys are also more likely to overstep the line with a couple or woman if they have had too much dutch courage.
A glass or two to help people relax early on seems like the best approach. But if you use the hot tub or a sauna at a club and you drink it can magnify the effect of the alcohol. I would suggest a bottle of water after the hot tub to rehydrate and water at hand when playing. |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
I'm always sober.
Safety wise that I've always got my own transport home.
But in the couples or group scenario, blurred lines on consent, and potential regrets or accusations would put me off meeting anyone who had been drinking prior to a meet.
Once you know people well, and boundaries etc are well established, nothing wrong in enjoying a few drinks together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
I never drink alcohol at all and have never found it to be an issue.
Some people feel the need for alcohol to loosen up or have a good time but we have seen some go too far.
Given that a lot of clubs are out of town it’s good to be fit to drive.
Have a good night. |
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Mrs enjoys a glass of something to relax her inhibitions but I wouldn't say she gets all out d*unk.
I won't drink if I have to drive the next day which generally is most days so I am normally sober. I've never found it to be an issue and enjoy myself just as much if not more. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
nope the only way to have great sex is sober, loads drink because it gives them confidence but hopefully they dont drink much  |
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I turned down an offer to play with a couple in a club, because the wife was so d*unk she could hardly walk in her heels. Not attractive at all, and really didn’t feel ‘right’ to me.
I’m always sober for any of my meets, not least because I’ll be driving home afterward, but also because I want to enjoy, and remember, every second  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It ain't sexy at all dealing with a d*unken woman in a club. Eyes rolling, swearing, demanding sex, screaming when she doesn't get what she wants. Not good at all. Give me sober everytime. "
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I play sober.
I like to be clear-headed and in control, especially if it's a new person. There have been two separate occasions where I've had an alcoholic drink on a meet and only because I knew them very well. |
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OP I don’t think you have to worry about not drinking. I am alway sober when I visit clubs or meet. I prefer the sex when I actually know what is happening and I think you need to make sure that you can also stay safe.
I have no problem if others are drinking but if they get too d*unk then that is not good and I’m will make my excuses and leave.
Just go and have fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
We have the odd glass of wine if we meet in a bar and have had alcohol served when visiting a small party. However, most of our meets are at home and we get by just fine without any alcohol. The breakfast meetings are always sober. |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
We are sober when we play in a club, we'll have a drink later in the night. There's definitely a big drinking culture amongst many (not all) club goers, many are nearly paralytic when they play unfortunately  |
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I would say from experience some use alcohol to shed their inhibitions to boost their confidence some need more than others plus if someone is sober it proves they are fully up for it don’t you think ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In all my years swinging and going to clubs, i have never once had an alcoholic drink at a club or party.
I'm not a big drinker, so am a bit of a cheap date. So maybe its the thought of having a couple and being d*unk (somewhere its not appropriate) that could be why I don't |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
We find ourselves not drinking. Partly as one of us needs to drive an the other doesn't like being d*unk |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't bother drinking anymore I can't be dealing with the tiredness the next day. So all the meets I have had off here have been sober. And I wouldn't be interested in having sex with anyone who was d*unk either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr is always sober on meets, Mrs has acouple of glasses to loosen her up (no pun intended). It can be quite strange in clubs when everyone else around is drinking and your not. Mr chooses to stay sober incase anything untoward happens. Just go and enjoy your self, im sure you will enjoy it whether you're drinking or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like d*unken sex, so most of my experiences with fab have been sober x"
And from ur images and vids they all look epic ... wish u wasnt out my league ur so close haha xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wpuld be lovely to find a meet . I dont mind playing sober or with alchol as long as the ladies happy when she leaves all i wanna do is adore a wonen and make her sexually satified but ... gotta find a meet first |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
We, or at least one of us, drives to a club or party and so don't drink.
To be fair on our first ventures into private home parties I got completely hammered, I was so nervous, ended up at one party asleep on the floor of the garage.
That's what I love about this scene, as nobody knows who you really are you can push the boat out.
After a few parties the nerves subsided and I just had the odd drink, more tea now or J2Os.
We also tend to steer clear of really pissed people, bit hypocritical I know.
You won't be judged, do what you feel comfortable.
Unfortunately for some, too much booze and they regret their antics the next day.
Have fun. We do. |
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I wouldn't play with anyone who was not sober enough to make sensible decisions or if I was in that state my self as it opens up a who world of risk and can somewhat negate any consent given if the persons decision making is impaired by any substance |
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I ( the Mr) never drinks when in clubs except once on my birthday
I don't need to drink to be social plus as I'm the Dom in our relationship I need to be in control as there is usually more than 2 of us in any play situation and I have to keep my wit's about me....there's too many idiots out there who push things too far if you get my meaning.
If I want a drink I go to the pub.When I want to see Miss P fucked we go to a sex club
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am always sober as a non drinker of many years. I had an awful experience when met a couple with an overbearing husband: wife was clearly very d*unk, even said she couldn't see properly, but he kep giving her more drink.
I decided it was not for me and left.
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I drink zero alcohol beer in a club. I'll almost always be driving, so a requirement anyway, but the last thing I want is anything clouding my judgment or behaviour in any way.
I've always ensured my reputation to be that of a gentleman and sensual/responsive to a womans body in my actions when the opportunity to play arises, so I'll never risk that being affected.
All of that being said it's an absolutely irrefutable red flag for me if a woman is d*unk, or people's judgment is impaired. Slippery slope which I won't go down. I'd not risk negative fallout after if the other person/persons felt they'd been 'taken advantage of' when under the influence. Others may see things differently. |
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We can perfectly sober if we want to. But for us the scene, especially the club scene is far more than just the sex. We like to socialise, let our hair down, have a few laughs and have a few drinks in great company. We don't alway drink but generally if we're out and about in the lifestyle you'll find us drink in hand. |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink?
We, or at least one of us, drives to a club or party and so don't drink.
To be fair on our first ventures into private home parties I got completely hammered, I was so nervous, ended up at one party asleep on the floor of the garage.
That's what I love about this scene, as nobody knows who you really are you can push the boat out.
After a few parties the nerves subsided and I just had the odd drink, more tea now or J2Os.
We also tend to steer clear of really pissed people, bit hypocritical I know.
You won't be judged, do what you feel comfortable.
Unfortunately for some, too much booze and they regret their antics the next day.
Have fun. We do. "
We have seen this and it’s one of the reasons we don’t play with people who seem a bit worse for wear. Had it where the next day one half of the other party really regretted what they did and that made us feel terrible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am always sober as a non drinker of many years. I had an awful experience when met a couple with an overbearing husband: wife was clearly very d*unk, even said she couldn't see properly, but he kep giving her more drink.
I decided it was not for me and left.
"
They should be kicked out of the club.
Seen too many couples where the wife has to be steaming d*unk. The man clearly giving her more to make her do things she may not want to and can't even think straight. |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
Good god no... Stay sober, be present in the moment and enjoy (or possibly not) every moment. Being d*unk is so unattractive. |
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"I am always sober as a non drinker of many years. I had an awful experience when met a couple with an overbearing husband: wife was clearly very d*unk, even said she couldn't see properly, but he kep giving her more drink.
I decided it was not for me and left.
They should be kicked out of the club.
Seen too many couples where the wife has to be steaming d*unk. The man clearly giving her more to make her do things she may not want to and can't even think straight. "
To be honest I’ve seen that work both ways though with some couples d*unk, arguing and insulting each other at clubs. Either he wants her to perform and she doesn’t or she wants every cock in the house and he’s doesn’t want to witness that. Even a safe word blatantly ignored and a lady in absolute shreds because of it. |
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I’m club only and also sober so able to drive leave when needed and have the best times, find daytime better as evening can be more alcohol involved, better choices and definitely find a lot don’t drink too, go enjoy  |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
always been our golden rule we never drink alcohol if playing and we will never play with others who are drinking alcohol either ... consent is always on a clear mind..
not only that but if you need alcohol for dutch courage or to enjoy sex then your not for us anyway we enjoy sex we dont need alcohol to get us going |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am always sober as a non drinker of many years. I had an awful experience when met a couple with an overbearing husband: wife was clearly very d*unk, even said she couldn't see properly, but he kep giving her more drink.
I decided it was not for me and left.
They should be kicked out of the club.
Seen too many couples where the wife has to be steaming d*unk. The man clearly giving her more to make her do things she may not want to and can't even think straight.
To be honest I’ve seen that work both ways though with some couples d*unk, arguing and insulting each other at clubs. Either he wants her to perform and she doesn’t or she wants every cock in the house and he’s doesn’t want to witness that. Even a safe word blatantly ignored and a lady in absolute shreds because of it."
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"I am always sober as a non drinker of many years. I had an awful experience when met a couple with an overbearing husband: wife was clearly very d*unk, even said she couldn't see properly, but he kep giving her more drink.
I decided it was not for me and left.
They should be kicked out of the club.
Seen too many couples where the wife has to be steaming d*unk. The man clearly giving her more to make her do things she may not want to and can't even think straight.
To be honest I’ve seen that work both ways though with some couples d*unk, arguing and insulting each other at clubs. Either he wants her to perform and she doesn’t or she wants every cock in the house and he’s doesn’t want to witness that. Even a safe word blatantly ignored and a lady in absolute shreds because of it.
"
I've seen similar - never good!  |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
I rarely drink... I'm always sober at a club. There are plenty of others there just having soft drinks x
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Neither of us drink when attending clubs and we would never play with anyone who is obviously intoxicated. For us drun*enness is a serious turn off.
On the rare occasions where we have witnessed antisocial behaviour in clubs, of which we have attended many over a period of more than 10 years, this has invariably associated with those who have had excessive alcohol. Not drinking has never been an issue for us in clubs. |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
Neither of us drink much generally, and it's fairly common for me to be driving after a club visit or a social.
It's never even been a topic of conversation, so I would be very surprised if it was to cause you any hassle.
Cal |
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I don't drink and I don't like my meets drinking either. Alcohol clouds judgement.
I've had someone tell me they've only had a couple and turn up very d*unk, I don't want the worry of them passing out or not getting home safely. |
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The husband doesn’t drink at all and has never been d*unk in his almost 38 years of life. When we go to a club, I have maybe two drinks but will have bottles of water in between. We wouldn’t ever play with one of intoxicated and we wouldn’t ever play with others who aren’t sober enough to know what they’re doing. We find d*unkenness hugely off putting and a right turn off anyway.
C x |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
Thank you so much for starting this thread OP. I'm sober and d*unkeness in others is really off-putting.
Everyone's responses have been really positive. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Thank you all for your helpful replies. We were a bit apprehensive about visiting a club t total but it appears we have nothing to be concerned about. In fact it appears desirable ??"
I often do tours to newbies at my local Swingers Club. As part of the introduction I talk briefly about alcohol and how, not only could it affect their performance, but to be aware that if someone is under the influence of alcohol they can't give consent, so avoid them.
Having a sensible amount of alcohol is fine and can help people socialise, but too much is definitely not recommended and is frowned upon.
I rarely drink when Swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don’t have many rules, go with the flow works for us but the one thing that has been consistent with me (Mrs) I want someone to want me at the start of the night and not when they’ve had too much.
I get people may need a bit of Dutch courage but I wouldn’t want anyone’s decisions compromised my alcohol. |
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By *age15Man
over a year ago
Lakeland |
Don't drink much as it doesn't mix well with my medications. Only club I've gone to so far had a pretty strict no drugs/no drinks policy, so there was that. Too much alcohol interferes with performance, so I tend to avoid it anyway. And would never want to be in a DUI situation. So for me, no drinking, no drugs and that works best for me. And I tend to avoid obviously d*unk people as well, especially since if you're d*unk or high there isn't a way to give consent with a clear mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think we would have had any of our experiences so far without drinking. We need at least some alcohol to lose our shyness.
Even on NYE a friend of ours offered to take us to a hotel for a special time which we had to turn down because we had family with us. (The conversation was out of earshot )
At least it is a promise for the new year. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
In my 8 years of attending clubs as both a single and a couple I have rarely seen people off their faces d*unk. In any situation there are idiots who may be d*unk or sober, bur I have found the overwhelming majority of people drink responsibly, and behave responsibly (wanking dead excepted).
The issue of socialising is the same as in any other situation. It is being a pleasant person who can make easy non-judgemental conversation. The question of alcoholic consumption at clubs is, I suggest, irrelevant and just a red herring. |
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By *aylamoonCouple
over a year ago
Darlington |
I have a couple of drinks when we go the club and hubby drives. Alcohol isn’t needed to socialise in the bar and there are lots of soft drinks available. The atmosphere is fun, friendly and relaxed and anyone too d*unk would be asked to leave. Have fun when you go. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
We love clubs & I like a cocktail or two but I don't mind if others don't - it wouldn't put me off & equally im not offended if people are put off by my drinking. It's all about choices x |
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I'm always driving so might just have one beer. Stayed at a nearby hotel to a club once and had several beers. One of the worst swinging nights ever. Just didn't get into the right mindset after to many beers. Quite often used to take a decent "low alcohol" beer with me. So much that if I drink that beer elsewhere now I can't help thinking about swinging parties!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have pretty much always been sober. Wouldn’t want to put my own personal safety on the line. As we all know alcohol allows us to make …… silly decisions haha |
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I live hours away and club A LOT so often stay sober and drive to save the £0000’s in hotels it’s cost me over the years.
It’s no issue. No one cares either way.
Obviously avoid the really d*unk but no one’s bothered if you drink or not. No issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind 1-2 but my hubby usually drives & stays sober. Though, neither of us are big drinkers, generally. We don't mind others drinking as they see fit, but we would never play with anyone who seemed tipsy/d*unk. Have also backed off from people we might like to play with, because they get very obviously d*unk xo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
I'm a recovering alcoholic ive been sober nearly a year now and I wondered about the drinking issue, not just for social meets in pugs etc but ive always had bit of Dutch courage before I met but now theres nothing. I'm worried if I'm nervous ya know |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink?
I'm a recovering alcoholic ive been sober nearly a year now and I wondered about the drinking issue, not just for social meets in pugs etc but ive always had bit of Dutch courage before I met but now theres nothing. I'm worried if I'm nervous ya know"
I totally understand, I'm 4 years sober and the idea meeting and sex sober used to worry me. Now I'm in the swing of sober meeting (haha), I wouldn't have it any other way. Protect your sobriety and have fun, you can do both. Best S x |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? nope the only way to have great sex is sober, loads drink because it gives them confidence but hopefully they dont drink much "
this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We perform better sober. Might have a drink or two but rather not deal with a headache the next morning after all the filth.
Also be vary, don't use anything and drive. Police usually know when clubs shut and tend to be around the area pulling people. |
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"Apologies if this has been asked before or / and I come across as naive but who can say they play the majority of time completely sober? My partner and I don't drink and it appears that a lot of the socializing aspect involves drinking alcohol. We are hoping to visit our first club together this month we will be sober. Is this going to cause any issues? Would this put you off if you do drink? "
I prefer to play sober, may have a drink beforehand (if the agreement was to meet for a drink). I find I have better things to do than drink during a meet I never play d*unk.
I assume a non-drinker won’t want to smell/taste alcohol on my breath. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"So yesterday I had one drink which was fine for me - that was in 8 hours of being at a club.
I was totally fine and was able to and consensual descion "
Normally 3 or 4 bottles at 4% is fine. Does it make me d*unk. Nope. Have I normally had a lot of food during the day yes, have I had soft drinks as well yes.
I wouldn’t go on to shots or shorts in a club. Tend to keep it to Alcopops. So from switching if I was in a pub at football to 3 an hour to one evry 2 hours is not going to make me d*unk
So I again I know my limits, I know I need to eat food |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mr and I both enjoy a drink when we're out socially but not when we're swinging.
I prefer to keep a clear head so normally drive and he'll have one or two to relax but wouldn't get d*unk if we were intending to play.
We've been to parties where others have been taking drugs or drinking to excess and its not fun. |
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