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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, like many others I prefer NOT to accommodate, as I want FAB world and real world to remain separate. Also you really don’t know who people are, and stalking, wtc does happen.
So question is( why do many females think it’s okay to not accommodate, but yet want the male to? I assume it’s for the same reasons?
It’s why clubs are better and hotels marginally safer than own homes.
Anyway, just a question. Merry Christmas everyone.
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Having children at home is more likely for women than men so that's an issue. Personally I have a teenager so unless they were literally out of the country I'd never have a meet at home.
There is also let's be frank the fact that men have to work harder to get meets and this can therefore include having to accommodate. |
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The premise of the question is a bit like comparing apples and pears. I think first you have to recognise that the male and female experience generally is very different. Now I know this is generalisationvile but generalisations are generally the case. So:
For Ladies safety is a factor often experienced differently. Far more ladies feel risk from a man in their home than men feel from a lady in their home. Also women statistically are far more likely to have kids at home. Thus the homestead is either not practical and/or they are just uncomfortable accommodating others in their kids homes.
For men it's very often the case on here that men can't accommodate because they are cheating. Thus often seen as a red flag when combined with other suspicious factors.
Naturally everyone's reasons are different. For me I'm a single parent with young kids. For me my homestead is for me, my kids and my fiancée when she stays with us. Both me and my fiancée prefer to keep our swinging world away from our respective households. And I know for lots of others there are many different reasons too. But my point is on the whole there's not an argument of equivalence between men and women because the reasons tend to be different.
Also I think there is a factor of them that hold the cards call the shots to some extent. I think a lot of people would prefer not to accommodate but like people accommodate them. As a lady it is a buyers market and thus not being able to accommodate is never going to be much of a barrier. |
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"The premise of the question is a bit like comparing apples and pears. I think first you have to recognise that the male and female experience generally is very different. Now I know this is generalisationvile but generalisations are generally the case. So:
For Ladies safety is a factor often experienced differently. Far more ladies feel risk from a man in their home than men feel from a lady in their home. Also women statistically are far more likely to have kids at home. Thus the homestead is either not practical and/or they are just uncomfortable accommodating others in their kids homes.
For men it's very often the case on here that men can't accommodate because they are cheating. Thus often seen as a red flag when combined with other suspicious factors.
Naturally everyone's reasons are different. For me I'm a single parent with young kids. For me my homestead is for me, my kids and my fiancée when she stays with us. Both me and my fiancée prefer to keep our swinging world away from our respective households. And I know for lots of others there are many different reasons too. But my point is on the whole there's not an argument of equivalence between men and women because the reasons tend to be different.
Also I think there is a factor of them that hold the cards call the shots to some extent. I think a lot of people would prefer not to accommodate but like people accommodate them. As a lady it is a buyers market and thus not being able to accommodate is never going to be much of a barrier."
Very good reply. Also ladies are more likely to get a stalker than a man so people not knowing where you live makes us feel safer. Ladies hold all the cards on here, if you cannot accom another guy waiting on her pick list will. Pussy power really  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
It's assumed men are cheating of they can't accom ,although I've said this many times not accomodating alone doesn't mean someone's cheating.
I don't accom ,but my partner is on here too ,we'd just prefer not to have strangers at our home.
Hotels are safer in that people don't know your address ,but I'd always have a public social first before any form of hotel meet anyway. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I never presume a man who can't accommodate is married my first thought is that he doesn't accommodate for the same reason as I don't,and that his house is his home and he doesn't want people he barely knows knowing where he lives. It's a sensible thing on here to do in my mind anyhow. |
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"So, like many others I prefer NOT to accommodate, as I want FAB world and real world to remain separate. Also you really don’t know who people are, and stalking, wtc does happen.
So question is( why do many females think it’s okay to not accommodate, but yet want the male to? I assume it’s for the same reasons?
It’s why clubs are better and hotels marginally safer than own homes.
Anyway, just a question. Merry Christmas everyone.
"
We just don't want people to know about our private life.
Swinging is our secret life and would never dream of mixing with our day to day life.
We love the fact you can go to clubs, parties, holidays and 121 meets and nobody has any idea about your life, its really refreshing. |
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"It's assumed men are cheating of they can't accom ,although I've said this many times not accomodating alone doesn't mean someone's cheating.
I don't accom ,but my partner is on here too ,we'd just prefer not to have strangers at our home.
Hotels are safer in that people don't know your address ,but I'd always have a public social first before any form of hotel meet anyway."
Experience has taught me that if you have a decent profile and decent messages that are free of other red flags most women will give you the time of day (even the ones that say you must accommodate). Then when they do give you the time of day and get a better feel for you they can tell your not cheating. And sometimes women who can't accommodate turns out will accommodate the right person. Sometimes won't accommodate is more a defence against assumption and expectation rather than a blacket can't. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"It's assumed men are cheating of they can't accom ,although I've said this many times not accomodating alone doesn't mean someone's cheating.
I don't accom ,but my partner is on here too ,we'd just prefer not to have strangers at our home.
Hotels are safer in that people don't know your address ,but I'd always have a public social first before any form of hotel meet anyway.
Experience has taught me that if you have a decent profile and decent messages that are free of other red flags most women will give you the time of day (even the ones that say you must accommodate). Then when they do give you the time of day and get a better feel for you they can tell your not cheating. And sometimes women who can't accommodate turns out will accommodate the right person. Sometimes won't accommodate is more a defence against assumption and expectation rather than a blacket can't."
I totally agree with you ,it's other red flags that would get me suspicious & if you've made an effort people usually take that into account (well I do anyway). |
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Folk can think what they want to. Why the hell would I accommodate some stranger into my family home, who I have never known or met other than a social meet.
I have invited friends over to stay but that friendship was first built on trust so no I wouldn't accommodate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never presume a man who can't accommodate is married my first thought is that he doesn't accommodate for the same reason as I don't,and that his house is his home and he doesn't want people he barely knows knowing where he lives. It's a sensible thing on here to do in my mind anyhow. "
Hear hear, my reason is my son who has a family lives with me now as it helps me with costs and it helps him and his family save money.
Many people would think I'm hiding something but tbh I much prefer a women to feel ultra comfortable in a hotel than some random fellas house. |
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"So, like many others I prefer NOT to accommodate, as I want FAB world and real world to remain separate. Also you really don’t know who people are, and stalking, wtc does happen.
So question is( why do many females think it’s okay to not accommodate, but yet want the male to? I assume it’s for the same reasons?
It’s why clubs are better and hotels marginally safer than own homes.
Anyway, just a question. Merry Christmas everyone.
"
I've stopped accomodating - the reason, I prefer to keep my two worlds separate. I've no problem meeting up for a drink in a public place and seeing where it goes but that's it.
It has possibly cost me but I'm not out there to tap everyone. Sometimes the chats are more worth while |
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