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Official Neurodivergent Deviants Club, Season 8
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 from a distance of course wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable  | |||
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"Hi. New to the site. Recently diagnosed with Aspergers, so many things fell into place in both work and social life. Struggling to get any feedback from messages here though. Is there a magic formula for how to get a response? Or am I being too hasty?" Hi I'll let the guys fill you in but I'd say the majority of single guys struggle on here. Try not to take it personally. | |||
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"I’d like to introduce my self as a new character in this season. Currently diagnosed with Dyslexia, Depression/stress/anxiety (cute little package there), and looking into a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. This week hasn’t been too bad, but recently my as yet undiagnosed issue has caused me to basically explode my entire life and basically make myself single. Look, don’t stress, it’s fine. We’re working, that is me and the ex, better together as friends. It’s a hard road. Very hard. But I’m working on it, and working on me." Oooh! I can't wait to see how your character develops! 
My marriage ended years ago and we definitely work(ed) better as friends. Of course, that doesn't take away the pain when it's still fresh.
Glad to have you here. | |||
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"Hi. New to the site. Recently diagnosed with Aspergers, so many things fell into place in both work and social life." There's no magic formula and 2 weeks is *very* new in Fab terms. Might be worth searching the whole fora as this is a question that comes up regularly. When were you diagnosed? | |||
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"I’d like to introduce my self as a new character in this season. Currently diagnosed with Dyslexia, Depression/stress/anxiety (cute little package there), and looking into a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. This week hasn’t been too bad, but recently my as yet undiagnosed issue has caused me to basically explode my entire life and basically make myself single. Look, don’t stress, it’s fine. We’re working, that is me and the ex, better together as friends. It’s a hard road. Very hard. But I’m working on it, and working on me. Oooh! I can't wait to see how your character develops!
My marriage ended years ago and we definitely work(ed) better as friends. Of course, that doesn't take away the pain when it's still fresh.
Glad to have you here."Me either. We’ll see where the writers take it! Yeah I already have one marriage in the bag, this was just (I say just, hardly qualifies it really) in a relationship for the last 9 or 10 years. I do feel awful for it but… what’s done is done, and it’s gone to highlight that I do have a “personality disorder” and need help, so something has come from it that’s a positive. Thank you very much. Nice to be here and to meet you x | |||
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"I’d like to introduce my self as a new character in this season. Currently diagnosed with Dyslexia, Depression/stress/anxiety (cute little package there), and looking into a diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder. This week hasn’t been too bad, but recently my as yet undiagnosed issue has caused me to basically explode my entire life and basically make myself single. Look, don’t stress, it’s fine. We’re working, that is me and the ex, better together as friends. It’s a hard road. Very hard. But I’m working on it, and working on me. Oooh! I can't wait to see how your character develops!
My marriage ended years ago and we definitely work(ed) better as friends. Of course, that doesn't take away the pain when it's still fresh.
Glad to have you here.
Me either. We’ll see where the writers take it!
It’s gone to highlight that I do have a “personality disorder” and need help, so something has come from it that’s a positive.
Thank you very much. Nice to be here and to meet you x"Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As you're dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? | |||
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" Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As your dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? " Oh no feel free to dig. If it’s too far I’ll tell you. At the moment it’s a self diagnosis, but looking at seeking professional diagnosis. I need the help and support but the only way I’m going to get that is with the correct diagnosis. I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine. | |||
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"I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine" I personally find it helpful to ditch the idea of labels. I think that's an NT way to view it. It's like when someone says they don't want to be put in a box. It's not a label or a box. It's a medical diagnosis. Being told you have diabetes is not a label. Learning you are left-handed is not a box. It's simply a case of learning that this journey may have been bumpier than it needed to be - because we've been putting petrol in a diesel car. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! " I tend to get a quicker response by asking for support, at the point of renewing site subscription, where it asks for feedback x | |||
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"I tend to get a quicker response by asking for support, at the point of renewing site subscription, where it asks for feedback x" That's an interesting idea. Thanks! | |||
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" Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As your dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? Oh no feel free to dig. If it’s too far I’ll tell you. At the moment it’s a self diagnosis, but looking at seeking professional diagnosis. I need the help and support but the only way I’m going to get that is with the correct diagnosis. I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine." Labels will get you help and hopefully some sympathy, from the people who are supposed to help you. | |||
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" There's no magic formula and 2 weeks is *very* new in Fab terms. Might be worth searching the whole fora as this is a question that comes up regularly. When were you diagnosed? " Jan this year, after what felt like forever (hoorah for our underfunded NHS). Been a bit of a journey to acceptance, but it's all good now. | |||
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" There's no magic formula and 2 weeks is *very* new in Fab terms. Might be worth searching the whole fora as this is a question that comes up regularly. When were you diagnosed? Jan this year, after what felt like forever (hoorah for our underfunded NHS). Been a bit of a journey to acceptance, but it's all good now." You were given a diagnosis of "aspergers" in January this year? | |||
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" Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As your dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? Oh no feel free to dig. If it’s too far I’ll tell you. At the moment it’s a self diagnosis, but looking at seeking professional diagnosis. I need the help and support but the only way I’m going to get that is with the correct diagnosis. I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine." Be careful going to health professionals querying a personality disorder, once it's in your records it's hard to have it removed. If you have a history of trauma then I can see why you would come to that conclusion but I'd suggest doing some research around autism to see if it's more likely. If not it's down to their assessment, don't guide them to PD just be honest about your history and experiences. Just for info... generalised psychiatrists don't really have an understanding of ND, you need to be referred to a specialist psychiatrist for autism and adhd assessments. You tend to find people with persistent long term anxiety and depression are ND, they can be seeing a generalist psychiatrist for years and they don't pick up on it or misdiagnose them. | |||
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" Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As your dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? Oh no feel free to dig. If it’s too far I’ll tell you. At the moment it’s a self diagnosis, but looking at seeking professional diagnosis. I need the help and support but the only way I’m going to get that is with the correct diagnosis. I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine. Be careful going to health professionals querying a personality disorder, once it's in your records it's hard to have it removed. If you have a history of trauma then I can see why you would come to that conclusion but I'd suggest doing some research around autism to see if it's more likely. If not it's down to their assessment, don't guide them to PD just be honest about your history and experiences. Just for info... generalised psychiatrists don't really have an understanding of ND, you need to be referred to a specialist psychiatrist for autism and adhd assessments. You tend to find people with persistent long term anxiety and depression are ND, they can be seeing a generalist psychiatrist for years and they don't pick up on it or misdiagnose them. " See I didn’t know that. Thank you, I really appreciate that advice. I’ll do some more digging and see what I can discover!!
And to the person who said about the labels and by using them to my advantage. I’m trying to see the best of it. But I appreciate it. | |||
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" Not digging but are you self diagnosing PD? As your dyslexic have you explored other areas of ND? A few threads back we discussed how ND is regularly misdiagnosed as PD could this be possible for you? Oh no feel free to dig. If it’s too far I’ll tell you. At the moment it’s a self diagnosis, but looking at seeking professional diagnosis. I need the help and support but the only way I’m going to get that is with the correct diagnosis. I don’t like labels, but I actually need to find mine. Be careful going to health professionals querying a personality disorder, once it's in your records it's hard to have it removed. If you have a history of trauma then I can see why you would come to that conclusion but I'd suggest doing some research around autism to see if it's more likely. If not it's down to their assessment, don't guide them to PD just be honest about your history and experiences. Just for info... generalised psychiatrists don't really have an understanding of ND, you need to be referred to a specialist psychiatrist for autism and adhd assessments. You tend to find people with persistent long term anxiety and depression are ND, they can be seeing a generalist psychiatrist for years and they don't pick up on it or misdiagnose them. See I didn’t know that. Thank you, I really appreciate that advice. I’ll do some more digging and see what I can discover!!
And to the person who said about the labels and by using them to my advantage. I’m trying to see the best of it. But I appreciate it."If you mean this ..Labels will get you help and hopefully some sympathy, from the people who are supposed to help you. Then you are most welcome. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! " I don't agree. We have our own section this one. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. " I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me " Yeah some people and subjects are getting over looked. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me " All the subjects discussed here can be discussed in the lounge and many of them have been. I started a thread on weighted blankets around 18 months ago. I think it's a good idea but it will not happen as people have been asking for different sections to be opened for years. There are regular calls for a mental health section and they have said no because these topics can be discussed in the lounge. I just think it's best to focus on what we have rather than something that won't happen. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me " Fair point, but this is early days and remember that LLyods shipping and Harry Potter all came out of coffee shops. Think of these chapters, like a garden nursery full of budding ideas and helpful titbit seedlings. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me Yeah some people and subjects are getting over looked. " The point is they will continue to get overlooked if we keep talking about something that isn't going to happen. Subjects get overlooked all the time across all of the forum sections. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me Yeah some people and subjects are getting over looked. The point is they will continue to get overlooked if we keep talking about something that isn't going to happen. Subjects get overlooked all the time across all of the forum sections. " People that want to push for it can add their opinions to the feed back thread we can just highlight it every so often to get new people or people that over looked it to add their thoughts. It won't make a difference to this thread. | |||
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"Guys, doesn't how quickly Season 8 filled-up just demonstrate how we really need our own section here? [Maybe 'section' is a poor choice of words?!] I started a thread on that topic and have contacted admin a couple of times. Does anyone else have any ideas of what else we can do? Fingers crossed, one of the mods or admin are ND and eventually discover our thang here! I don't agree. We have our own section this one. I find this thread great in theory, but too many sub conversations for me to follow. A separate area would be useful for me Yeah some people and subjects are getting over looked. The point is they will continue to get overlooked if we keep talking about something that isn't going to happen. Subjects get overlooked all the time across all of the forum sections. People that want to push for it can add their opinions to the feed back thread we can just highlight it every so often to get new people or people that over looked it to add their thoughts. It won't make a difference to this thread. "But it is making a difference to the thread. Most of the comments on this thread are about this issue. | |||
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"I tried this Calm app earlier and did some meditation on Self Talk and it has helped me feel a bit better. I meditated and changed my negative thing into positive and it indeed help" Oh brilliant
I am really glad you gave it a go. I love the calm app and they have loads of stuff on YouTube as well. | |||
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"I tried this Calm app earlier and did some meditation on Self Talk and it has helped me feel a bit better. I meditated and changed my negative thing into positive and it indeed help" I use calm, I find it better than headspace. I really like the sleep stories. | |||
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"I tried this Calm app earlier and did some meditation on Self Talk and it has helped me feel a bit better. I meditated and changed my negative thing into positive and it indeed help I use calm, I find it better than headspace. I really like the sleep stories. " The sleep stories are brilliant Plus a very easy introduction to mindfulness. | |||
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"I tried this Calm app earlier and did some meditation on Self Talk and it has helped me feel a bit better. I meditated and changed my negative thing into positive and it indeed help Oh brilliant
I am really glad you gave it a go. I love the calm app and they have loads of stuff on YouTube as well. "Cool. I'll check it out | |||
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 Flew by haha.
We 100% need a forum section to have separate conversations going. I'm getting so lost 
Have started a couple of direct conversations which have been good, but then not sharing on advice to everyone  | |||
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" from a distance of course wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable "Omg a group hug?!?! I DIDNT KNOW THAY WAS POSSIBLE! | |||
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" There's no magic formula and 2 weeks is *very* new in Fab terms. Might be worth searching the whole fora as this is a question that comes up regularly. When were you diagnosed? Jan this year, after what felt like forever (hoorah for our underfunded NHS). Been a bit of a journey to acceptance, but it's all good now. You were given a diagnosis of "aspergers" in January this year? " Yeah, although I know it's all classed as asd now. The consultant that saw me was quite old and used to calling it that I think. So it stuck in my brain. | |||
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"Omg what happened to part 7?! Flew by haha.
We 100% need a forum section to have separate conversations going. I'm getting so lost
Have started a couple of direct conversations which have been good, but then not sharing on advice to everyone "Ahh it's nice you've made connections it's lovely to support each other on the forum too. For me raising awareness is important on here and in real life. As there will be a fair amount of ND people on fab I think our own little corner could give so many people a light bulb moment it's worth the battle in my opinion. | |||
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" from a distance of course wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable
Omg a group hug?!?! I DIDNT KNOW THAY WAS POSSIBLE! "You learn something new everyday | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " Oooooh yes! It is my least favourite thing about this brain. | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? Oooooh yes! It is my least favourite thing about this brain. " I spoke to a sleep expert once and he said that autism has its own sleep pattern. Basically there isn't one so we have to work harder than most to get into a good routine. | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? Oooooh yes! It is my least favourite thing about this brain. I spoke to a sleep expert once and he said that autism has its own sleep pattern. Basically there isn't one so we have to work harder than most to get into a good routine. " Evening! Or is it Morning?! | |||
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"I spoke to a sleep expert once and he said that autism has its own sleep pattern. Basically there isn't one so we have to work harder than most to get into a good routine. " Something that makes me laugh is when movies or TV shows want to express that someone is up latr with insomnia and they roll over and look at the clock. And it's something like 11:45pm! I wish! | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " Yes! Mine changes/gets worse with stress or overwhelm. My. Current pattern is being awake at 4.30-5am and my brain won't turn off to get back to sleep. I know it's because I'm having a hard time requesting adjustments at work (push back from management), so I'm constantly over thinking it all | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " A lot of neurodivergent folks have a delayed sleep phase (circadian rhythm) of two hours or more that what is considered "normal". Basically you naturally fall asleep later and need to sleep later in the morning to get a full nights sleep. The fact it gets labelled as a "disorder" kinda pisses me off, because it wouldn't be an "issue" if the world wasn't so damn inflexible. I spent so many years calling myself lazy for struggling to wake up in the morning. Sometimes there was the additional struggle with depression making me struggle to get up, but no matter how my mental health is, I have ALWAYS struggled to wake up at a "normal" time and then ended up foggy brained all morning. I have to have like 8 alarms set in the morning lol. I'm super lucky as I have started a new job recently at a really open minded company. My line managers wife has ADHD so he really has a good understanding. One of the many little things they have agreed to is that I will start work by 10am, but that's not even set in stone if I really am struggling one day. If I have all of my alarms switched off I tend to naturally wake between 9:30-10 so I still find I have to wake up earlier than I really am ready for (especially when I need to visit the office) but the later start is a buffer that makes a huge difference. | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " Oh yes! Fortunately, not all the time, but when my brain decides it wants to over analyse whatever silly things it chooses instead of letting me sleep, it will keep going for hours. Trying to consciously stop yourself thinking so your brain will shut down enough to sleep is bloody hard! | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " When i was really ill this year I would rarely sleep for more than a few hours a night, it was horrendous. Now my body seems to have gone in to recovery mode and I tend to sleep well most nights bit sometimes I get distracted and forget to go to bed! | |||
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"When did we kill part 7 with replies seems like yesterday it was opened "Think there were quite a few responses as a 1-2-1 conversation. It happens, but maybe we need to consider a better way to have ND specific chats/posts if they won't give us a forum area. I was thinking we could have a "tag" in the post name? That way we can have multiple discussions that aren't overlapping so much and causing confusion. It's very clear we all have a lot to say | |||
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"Ooo how about we have an ND roll call page? "If you are part of the neurodivergent community, please check in to this roll call list. Please only post once so that it can continue as long as possible. If you have a question for the ND community or just want to chat, please make a post as normal but start the name with ND WONKY CREW so we can all find each other" I dunno, something like that? "That sounds like a really good idea to be fair. | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? " Yes, all my life -- but I only realised how bad it was when I got a fitness watch and started monitoring it. | |||
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"Ooo how about we have an ND roll call page? "If you are part of the neurodivergent community, please check in to this roll call list. Please only post once so that it can continue as long as possible. If you have a question for the ND community or just want to chat, please make a post as normal but start the name with ND WONKY CREW so we can all find each other" I dunno, something like that? "Might strong arm the mods into giving us our own nice cosy side bar - I mean forum - if we're filling the main areas up with tagged threads
Also I love ND WONKY CREW | |||
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"Ooo how about we have an ND roll call page? "If you are part of the neurodivergent community, please check in to this roll call list. Please only post once so that it can continue as long as possible. If you have a question for the ND community or just want to chat, please make a post as normal but start the name with ND WONKY CREW so we can all find each other" I dunno, something like that? "Oh yes, it is a wonderful idea | |||
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"But on the subject of sleep, am i the only one quite literally tortured with nightmares?" I don't have nightmares but I do have night terrors and I sleep walk. I used to walk into mother's room and have a conversations with her in the middle of the night, she could always tell I was asleep. | |||
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"Ooo how about we have an ND roll call page? "If you are part of the neurodivergent community, please check in to this roll call list. Please only post once so that it can continue as long as possible. If you have a question for the ND community or just want to chat, please make a post as normal but start the name with ND WONKY CREW so we can all find each other" I dunno, something like that?
Might strong arm the mods into giving us our own nice cosy side bar - I mean forum - if we're filling the main areas up with tagged threads
Also I love ND WONKY CREW"Hey it worked with games!!! | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? A lot of neurodivergent folks have a delayed sleep phase (circadian rhythm) of two hours or more that what is considered "normal". Basically you naturally fall asleep later and need to sleep later in the morning to get a full nights sleep. The fact it gets labelled as a "disorder" kinda pisses me off, because it wouldn't be an "issue" if the world wasn't so damn inflexible. I spent so many years calling myself lazy for struggling to wake up in the morning. Sometimes there was the additional struggle with depression making me struggle to get up, but no matter how my mental health is, I have ALWAYS struggled to wake up at a "normal" time and then ended up foggy brained all morning. I have to have like 8 alarms set in the morning lol. I'm super lucky as I have started a new job recently at a really open minded company. My line managers wife has ADHD so he really has a good understanding. One of the many little things they have agreed to is that I will start work by 10am, but that's not even set in stone if I really am struggling one day. If I have all of my alarms switched off I tend to naturally wake between 9:30-10 so I still find I have to wake up earlier than I really am ready for (especially when I need to visit the office) but the later start is a buffer that makes a huge difference." Flexible employers are a rarity. | |||
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"Might strong arm the mods into giving us our own nice cosy side bar - I mean forum - if we're filling the main areas up with tagged threads
Also I love ND WONKY CREW"That's what I'm thinking! You know we are going to have a shit ton of posts  lol. They will probably do it just to get control back haha.
Seems like a couple of people like the sound of it, so I'm gonna go for it And if it doesn't work out I'll try not to feel rejected haha.
" Flexible employers are a rarity." I know I'm super lucky. It's polar opposites to where I was before. In March/April time I had a huge mental health breakdown and burnout due to bullying and lack of adjustments. Was on long term sick til end of Aug when I was paid to leave. Then found the most amazing opportunity for me | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? A lot of neurodivergent folks have a delayed sleep phase (circadian rhythm) of two hours or more that what is considered "normal". Basically you naturally fall asleep later and need to sleep later in the morning to get a full nights sleep. The fact it gets labelled as a "disorder" kinda pisses me off, because it wouldn't be an "issue" if the world wasn't so damn inflexible. I spent so many years calling myself lazy for struggling to wake up in the morning. Sometimes there was the additional struggle with depression making me struggle to get up, but no matter how my mental health is, I have ALWAYS struggled to wake up at a "normal" time and then ended up foggy brained all morning. I have to have like 8 alarms set in the morning lol. I'm super lucky as I have started a new job recently at a really open minded company. My line managers wife has ADHD so he really has a good understanding. One of the many little things they have agreed to is that I will start work by 10am, but that's not even set in stone if I really am struggling one day. If I have all of my alarms switched off I tend to naturally wake between 9:30-10 so I still find I have to wake up earlier than I really am ready for (especially when I need to visit the office) but the later start is a buffer that makes a huge difference. Flexible employers are a rarity." Ive posted on previous threads about how shit my previous employers were, I'm fortunate my new ones are super kind. I was off sick on Monday, was honest told them I'd been struggling for a couple of weeks and then got hit with sensory overload at the weekend which was too much. Spent the day in bed, on the dark and decompressed. Anyway they were so kind, I have a busy week next week so the conversation was around what support I'd need next week and a general conversation that they weren't doing enough! Honestly, I can't believe how lucky I am! | |||
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 Even after being the person who said "post once" lol.
@Everyone - Made a post with the suggestions I shared on Season 7 that help my anxiety/overwhelm. Please feel free to add more | |||
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"@John Kanaka - I totally had to stop myself from responding to your intro on the roll call thread Even after being the person who said "post once" lol.
@Everyone - Made a post with the suggestions I shared on Season 7 that help my anxiety/overwhelm. Please feel free to add more "Oh I think all of us will struggle with not replying | |||
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"One of my friends has been officially diagnosed today with ADHD. I quite like the fact she's one of a few people that have confided in me after I've been so open on my social media about my diagnosis. However she also told me she's joined an in person ADHD support group, and is anyone else thinking how gloriously chaotic that would be! "It's the weirdest thing, when I talk to another ADHDer even though the actual conversation is chaotic and demented, mentally I feel unusually calm, almost like time slows right down. This is not a feeling we are used to | |||
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"One of my friends has been officially diagnosed today with ADHD. I quite like the fact she's one of a few people that have confided in me after I've been so open on my social media about my diagnosis. However she also told me she's joined an in person ADHD support group, and is anyone else thinking how gloriously chaotic that would be!
It's the weirdest thing, when I talk to another ADHDer even though the actual conversation is chaotic and demented, mentally I feel unusually calm, almost like time slows right down. This is not a feeling we are used to "This is normal. You are finally on the same wavelength as each other. Just like sound waves, the flanging effect makes one pair of note in synch, then gradually grow apart, so that they fight each other and try to cancel each other out, then eventually return to peak at the same moment. This sensation is unnerving, like learning to ice skate and your feet want to go off ahead and you suddenly crash to the ground. Being in synch is so freaky and sorely needed. | |||
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"One of my friends has been officially diagnosed today with ADHD. I quite like the fact she's one of a few people that have confided in me after I've been so open on my social media about my diagnosis. However she also told me she's joined an in person ADHD support group, and is anyone else thinking how gloriously chaotic that would be!
It's the weirdest thing, when I talk to another ADHDer even though the actual conversation is chaotic and demented, mentally I feel unusually calm, almost like time slows right down. This is not a feeling we are used to
This is normal.
You are finally on the same wavelength as each other.
Just like sound waves, the flanging effect makes one pair of note in synch, then gradually grow apart, so that they fight each other and try to cancel each other out, then eventually return to peak at the same moment.
This sensation is unnerving, like learning to ice skate and your feet want to go off ahead and you suddenly crash to the ground.
Being in synch is so freaky and sorely needed.
"What a brilliant description! Also to the poster above you, I love that your friend has been diagnosed after seeing your social media posts!! Awaiting my assessment a week today! I wrote a blog for friends and family and four friends messaged me to say, they have either thought for years they have ADHD or, they are now researching it. It’s a good feeling! Xx | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx"Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject! | |||
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385500#message_33595656 Here goes nothing "When we finally "win" and get our own section, I think one of us should throw a party. I mean, I won't go as I hate parties, but one should be thrown nonetheless! | |||
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"When did we kill part 7 with replies seems like yesterday it was opened "Er, we didn't "kill" it. We graduated! | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx
Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!
"Please tell me you will write a book!! | |||
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"But on the subject of sleep, am i the only one quite literally tortured with nightmares?" No you are not. X | |||
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" It's the weirdest thing, when I talk to another ADHDer even though the actual conversation is chaotic and demented, mentally I feel unusually calm, almost like time slows right down. This is not a feeling we are used to "We get each other! Like one of my besties and I will have a conversation going on three different messaging platforms and if anyone else was trying to follow it would make zero sense. But like we don't even notice we've swapped mid convo from Insta to Messenger then Insta then WhatsApp lol. Its just all part of a bigger picture. I think when we are talking with other ND folks we can let the mask slip and not be constantly worrying about saying or doing the "wrong" thing. That's bound to be relaxing. | |||
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" It's the weirdest thing, when I talk to another ADHDer even though the actual conversation is chaotic and demented, mentally I feel unusually calm, almost like time slows right down. This is not a feeling we are used to
We get each other! Like one of my besties and I will have a conversation going on three different messaging platforms and if anyone else was trying to follow it would make zero sense. But like we don't even notice we've swapped mid convo from Insta to Messenger then Insta then WhatsApp lol. Its just all part of a bigger picture.
I think when we are talking with other ND folks we can let the mask slip and not be constantly worrying about saying or doing the "wrong" thing. That's bound to be relaxing."Totally agree the only thing I then get worried about is that we then trigger each other. | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx
Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!
Please tell me you will write a book!! "What on, I need ideas? and a deadline to go WHOOSH over my head to get me started. I can and have written spoof songs and some fictional www2 diaries., never published do of course and even tried to enter a nation advertising award last year, nver got nominaed though. PM me if you're suitably bored. | |||
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"Does anybody else have seriously messed up sleep patterns? A lot of neurodivergent folks have a delayed sleep phase (circadian rhythm) of two hours or more that what is considered "normal". Basically you naturally fall asleep later and need to sleep later in the morning to get a full nights sleep. The fact it gets labelled as a "disorder" kinda pisses me off, because it wouldn't be an "issue" if the world wasn't so damn inflexible. I spent so many years calling myself lazy for struggling to wake up in the morning. Sometimes there was the additional struggle with depression making me struggle to get up, but no matter how my mental health is, I have ALWAYS struggled to wake up at a "normal" time and then ended up foggy brained all morning. I have to have like 8 alarms set in the morning lol. I'm super lucky as I have started a new job recently at a really open minded company. My line managers wife has ADHD so he really has a good understanding. One of the many little things they have agreed to is that I will start work by 10am, but that's not even set in stone if I really am struggling one day. If I have all of my alarms switched off I tend to naturally wake between 9:30-10 so I still find I have to wake up earlier than I really am ready for (especially when I need to visit the office) but the later start is a buffer that makes a huge difference." 11pm -1am is normal bedtime for me 10:30am is my natural wake up time. 5am wake ups are bad for me. I can't sleep early. | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx
Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!
Please tell me you will write a book!!
What on, I need ideas? and a deadline to go WHOOSH over my head to get me started.
I can and have written spoof songs and some fictional www2 diaries., never published do of course and even tried to enter a nation advertising award last year, nver got nominaed though.
PM me if you're suitably bored."I’d like to learn more about the link between the swinging lifestyle and ND! Maybe an audio book would be better; ok thanks! 
I’ll give you a month - go go go! | |||
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Good night lovely pervs xx | |||
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"I’ve received my lovely and luscious teddy weighted blanket today. I shall update you about the results in my night sleep (probably nine )
Good night lovely pervs xx"Ooooh lovely!! I hope you have a restful night and sweet dreams x | |||
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385500#message_33595656 Here goes nothing
When we finally "win" and get our own section, I think one of us should throw a party.
I mean, I won't go as I hate parties, but one should be thrown nonetheless! "Ooo, party!! Invite me then I can get all stressed about it, decline the invitation, and then get all stressed about missing a potentially great night! Love my head sometimes... | |||
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"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385500#message_33595656 Here goes nothing
When we finally "win" and get our own section, I think one of us should throw a party.
I mean, I won't go as I hate parties, but one should be thrown nonetheless!
Ooo, party!! Invite me then I can get all stressed about it, decline the invitation, and then get all stressed about missing a potentially great night! Love my head sometimes..."Duh! Of course you can! It’s expected! Is there any other way to deal with a party invite! | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx
Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!
Please tell me you will write a book!!
What on, I need ideas? and a deadline to go WHOOSH over my head to get me started.
I can and have written spoof songs and some fictional www2 diaries., never published do of course and even tried to enter a nation advertising award last year, nver got nominaed though.
PM me if you're suitably bored.
I’d like to learn more about the link between the swinging lifestyle and ND! Maybe an audio book would be better; ok thanks!
I’ll give you a month - go go go!"Challenge accepted, if you approve of this 1st draft. I read a book on touch once, it explained the reasons on why it's good, taboo at times, historical changes and then what happens under the skin and in the brain. Sexual, sensual, sociological and chemical effects where explained in this too. Can't remember who wrote it, or the title. My first idea is to interview swingers from each age group., some singletons and some couples. So each chapter would have the fist paragraph on who they are. The next questions would be about swinging then being ND 1 When did you realise sex was fun? 2 When did you realise that being in a 1 on 1 relationship wasn't for you? 3 When did you first realise that swinging has your name on it? 4 When did you decide to do something about it? Straight away, or did it linger? 5 When did you turn up at a club? Where you alone, as a couple or where you some's guest? 6 Did you have fun and play? 7 What has swinging done to your sex life? 8 Does anyone in Vanilla land know about it? 9 Do you want to be normal? No one has ever asked this one. 10 Are you too shy to ask somebody out, or the complete opposite and very brazen? 11 Is swinging something the health care professional should take seriously in a positive note, as socialising hugging and sex really release those sorely needed happy hormones 12 Do you get withdrawal symptoms, if you don't swing, how much sex/hugs/time on FAB do you need? Do you get the right right amount of sex? 13 Steal a TARDIS and go back in time and have along bloody chat with your younger self: what would that chat be like? 14 Would you be in a better place after that chat? Now about ND 1 When did you realise that your had different software in your head? What is your diagnosis? 2 What are those differences? Advantages and disadvantages? 3 Did your school/employers pick up on this? 4 Did you get any help? Then, now and in the future, list any treatments, good bad and ugly. 5 How much heartache has been caused? 6 Do you have any abilities that no one can keep up with, ie wordplay, humour, organisational skills. 7 Does social anxiety/shyness get in your way in Vanilla and 8 What sets you off and can it be reigned in, or does it require the help of others, or do you have to ride through 72 hours of major mood drops, for example? 9 Has this destroyed your life in anyway, bulling, relationship break up or a general feeling of being a wallflower and really needing to switch of and hide some where? 10 Do certain places/towns/situations/weather drain you? 11 Do certain places recharge your batteries? 12 Pets, how important are they to you? Do they help? if so how? 13 Steal a TARDIS and go back in time and have along bloody chat with your younger self: what would that chat be like? 14 Would you be in a better place after that chat? | |||
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"This looks like a basic break down in communication..We have private messages and pictures swapping capabilities on this site, so not knowing about the blatant obvious. I met my partner in a wheelchair on here, because she told me, she displayed her honesty and that was 4 years ago. The chair has long gone, we're a permanent fixture on here. This couple were not it, as they wasted your time and didn't trust you to make you wind up: this smacks of click bait. Don't feel bad if anyone trolls you, you were kept in the dark. No one likes secrets thrust on them like that. We will tell you when the time is right and if you are online feel free to ask in the forums, when we are talking about these conditions. Communication is key here. Move on and good luck." Communication is the key, as you say. Was this message a response to my post and you say you will tell me when the time is right. If this message is a response, thank you but I'm sadly non the wiser. But as you say, I'll move on, again not too sure where. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance." I'm not sure why you are posing this question here? I state on my profile that I'm neurodiverse and wouldn't meet someone unless in knew they were 100% empathetic of that. But the people on this thread are neurodiverse not physically disabled? And we communicate differently while also at times being confused by neurotypical communication. I'm not sure what directing this at us will achieve, we aren't physically disabled, neurodiversity isn't the same as mental health and definitely not the same as a physical disability and the way we answer possibly winter reflect the wider swinging community | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I'm not sure why you are posing this question here? I state on my profile that I'm neurodiverse and wouldn't meet someone unless in knew they were 100% empathetic of that. But the people on this thread are neurodiverse not physically disabled? And we communicate differently while also at times being confused by neurotypical communication. I'm not sure what directing this at us will achieve, we aren't physically disabled, neurodiversity isn't the same as mental health and definitely not the same as a physical disability and the way we answer possibly winter reflect the wider swinging community " Thank you so much for your reply. I shouldn't have grouped MH and physical health in a response, bit lazy of me. Hope no offence was taken as none implied. Good luck. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance." My view is that we all have mental health. How much is reasonable to share with someone, before a one off meet? How much did you share about yourself? MH and ND - It’s such a spectrum and so many ND people mask, and put on a front, to avoid bullying and to make you feel comfortable. ND people can be the most adventurous, spontaneous, empathic & friendly people that you’ll ever meet. They may suffer in silence. To avoid any breakdown in communication, a video call before a meet would be good. Clear boundaries of what you’re looking for. Is physical appearance more important or mental health? Or both? It’s good that you’re asking questions, it shows you want to be respectful. It’s ok to also be disappointed, that you perhaps met with people who didn’t look like they did, in their photos. You may also like to research ableism, just so you can understand your own feelings a bit better. X | |||
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"This looks like a basic break down in communication..We have private messages and pictures swapping capabilities on this site, so not knowing about the blatant obvious. I met my partner in a wheelchair on here, because she told me, she displayed her honesty and that was 4 years ago. The chair has long gone, we're a permanent fixture on here. This couple were not it, as they wasted your time and didn't trust you to make you wind up: this smacks of click bait. Don't feel bad if anyone trolls you, you were kept in the dark. No one likes secrets thrust on them like that. We will tell you when the time is right and if you are online feel free to ask in the forums, when we are talking about these conditions. Communication is key here. Move on and good luck. Communication is the key, as you say. Was this message a response to my post and you say you will tell me when the time is right. If this message is a response, thank you but I'm sadly non the wiser. But as you say, I'll move on, again not too sure where. "Yes it was a response to your question. It might not be the first thing we tell you, as these things need confidence and tact, but the sooner we click the sooner we can open up, as this will explain our rude/erractic/chatty/shy behaviour. It's not easy, for some to do this. | |||
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What a brilliant description!
Xx
Thanks for that, it's the second compliment this week on the subject!
Instead of chapters and episodes, I'd use the club room names instead:
pool
sauna
dungeon
kitchen
cafe
reception
cinema
dance floor
bar area
lawn
hot tub
four poster
St Andrew's cross
glory holes
etc to match their favourite places "You will always find him in the kitchen at parties." a song by Jona Lewie.
"Swinging from a different tree: diverse in mind and bed" will be my working title.
Please tell me you will write a book!! " | |||
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"Wise words Queenie!" Wow, you really do like a challenge! Haha I’m very impressed. I couldn’t quite read the whole thing without getting distracted, though!
Love it! 10/10!  | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. My view is that we all have mental health. How much is reasonable to share with someone, before a one off meet? How much did you share about yourself? MH and ND - It’s such a spectrum and so many ND people mask, and put on a front, to avoid bullying and to make you feel comfortable. ND people can be the most adventurous, spontaneous, empathic & friendly people that you’ll ever meet. They may suffer in silence. To avoid any breakdown in communication, a video call before a meet would be good. Clear boundaries of what you’re looking for. Is physical appearance more important or mental health? Or both? It’s good that you’re asking questions, it shows you want to be respectful. It’s ok to also be disappointed, that you perhaps met with people who didn’t look like they did, in their photos. You may also like to research ableism, just so you can understand your own feelings a bit better. X " Thanks for your response. Never heard of ableism but will look it up. The meet was a one off disappointment, long way to drive and taking out her disability the weight issue was upsetting. We had chatted on the phone before the meet, just to see the lady exists, call went really well but came crashing down at the meet. We stayed in the pub, had a few drinks but declined the offer to go upstairs, all at bit embarrassing too. Tend to use parties, clubs and holidays now. | |||
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"Wise words Queenie! Wow, you really do like a challenge! Haha I’m very impressed. I couldn’t quite read the whole thing without getting distracted, though!
Love it! 10/10! "Tell me about the distractions! | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. My view is that we all have mental health. How much is reasonable to share with someone, before a one off meet? How much did you share about yourself? MH and ND - It’s such a spectrum and so many ND people mask, and put on a front, to avoid bullying and to make you feel comfortable. ND people can be the most adventurous, spontaneous, empathic & friendly people that you’ll ever meet. They may suffer in silence. To avoid any breakdown in communication, a video call before a meet would be good. Clear boundaries of what you’re looking for. Is physical appearance more important or mental health? Or both? It’s good that you’re asking questions, it shows you want to be respectful. It’s ok to also be disappointed, that you perhaps met with people who didn’t look like they did, in their photos. You may also like to research ableism, just so you can understand your own feelings a bit better. X Thanks for your response. Never heard of ableism but will look it up. The meet was a one off disappointment, long way to drive and taking out her disability the weight issue was upsetting. We had chatted on the phone before the meet, just to see the lady exists, call went really well but came crashing down at the meet. We stayed in the pub, had a few drinks but declined the offer to go upstairs, all at bit embarrassing too. Tend to use parties, clubs and holidays now." I can’t help but feel a bit protective of all MH and ND people. You may like to look into Justice Sensitivity, too. Your description of it coming crashing down, at the meet, comes across as insensitive. Almost as if the world was coming to an end, because this person wasn’t able bodied. I encourage you to look at why you reacted this way rather than, asking what MH and ND people should disclose. All the best x | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. My view is that we all have mental health. How much is reasonable to share with someone, before a one off meet? How much did you share about yourself? MH and ND - It’s such a spectrum and so many ND people mask, and put on a front, to avoid bullying and to make you feel comfortable. ND people can be the most adventurous, spontaneous, empathic & friendly people that you’ll ever meet. They may suffer in silence. To avoid any breakdown in communication, a video call before a meet would be good. Clear boundaries of what you’re looking for. Is physical appearance more important or mental health? Or both? It’s good that you’re asking questions, it shows you want to be respectful. It’s ok to also be disappointed, that you perhaps met with people who didn’t look like they did, in their photos. You may also like to research ableism, just so you can understand your own feelings a bit better. X Thanks for your response. Never heard of ableism but will look it up. The meet was a one off disappointment, long way to drive and taking out her disability the weight issue was upsetting. We had chatted on the phone before the meet, just to see the lady exists, call went really well but came crashing down at the meet. We stayed in the pub, had a few drinks but declined the offer to go upstairs, all at bit embarrassing too. Tend to use parties, clubs and holidays now. I can’t help but feel a bit protective of all MH and ND people. You may like to look into Justice Sensitivity, too. Your description of it coming crashing down, at the meet, comes across as insensitive. Almost as if the world was coming to an end, because this person wasn’t able bodied. I encourage you to look at why you reacted this way rather than, asking what MH and ND people should disclose. All the best x" Haha. No, world not coming to an end, maybe just a bit pissed off, nothing to bad. | |||
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"Thanks Mrs, what bits did you like? Do you want to be my first in the book and which room sums you up, it needs to be the one you are in the most?" Yeh maybe - can I get back to you on that lol. You’re far more productive than me, this week! | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance." I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario." Sorry you feel that way. But I don't think it was unreasonable for us to expect this lady and/or her partner to be truthful they had ample opportunity to mention her disability and weight during the chat. The meet in the hotel bar was lovely, just the going upstairs a bit embarrassing or should we have tried to have sex with a lady who did not sexually turn us on so not to upset her. Come on, be fair. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance." Well, I get you might be upset because it was not what you were expecting. You might not be attracted to a person for any number of personal reasons. Disability and weight shaming are a no-no, and also discrimination I’m afraid. Coming here asking for advice and portraying yourselves as the victims is also a massive red flag. I don’t think you are in the right place to ask for advice, so I’d recommend you move along  | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. Well, I get you might be upset because it was not what you were expecting. You might not be attracted to a person for any number of personal reasons. Disability and weight shaming are a no-no, and also discrimination I’m afraid. Coming here asking for advice and portraying yourselves as the victims is also a massive red flag. I don’t think you are in the right place to ask for advice, so I’d recommend you move along "It does show there is along way to go, with spreading awareness, at least. Love to all my neuro spicy friends x | |||
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"Thanks Mrs, what bits did you like? Do you want to be my first in the book and which room sums you up, it needs to be the one you are in the most? Yeh maybe - can I get back to you on that lol. You’re far more productive than me, this week! "Be quick as the procrastination monkey might wake up! LOL | |||
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"Queenie, I've writen the foreward and dedicated it to you FOREWORD It's QOH's fault, honest! (Queen of Hearts that is)" Can’t wait to read it in a medical journal | |||
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"Queenie, I've writen the foreward and dedicated it to you FOREWORD It's QOH's fault, honest! (Queen of Hearts that is) Can’t wait to read it in a medical journal "or the Beano! | |||
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"Queenie, I've writen the foreward and dedicated it to you FOREWORD It's QOH's fault, honest! (Queen of Hearts that is) Can’t wait to read it in a medical journal "Want to be in it? | |||
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"Queenie, I've writen the foreward and dedicated it to you FOREWORD It's QOH's fault, honest! (Queen of Hearts that is) Can’t wait to read it in a medical journal
Want to be in it?"Bloomin’ brilliant! Haha x | |||
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"Saying hello after a rough day of trying to multitask and family being needy (the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven). Going to lie down in a darkened room with my electric blanket, eye mask and earplugs!" Bless you. Hope you’re ok! I bought a squishmallow today, have you seen them? I recommend - they’re like a plush stress ball on steroids. So good to squeeze x | |||
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"Saying hello after a rough day of trying to multitask and family being needy (the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven). Going to lie down in a darkened room with my electric blanket, eye mask and earplugs!" Have you discovred weighted blankets yet? I think we need a weighted blanket club night, bring one or ask to share. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario. Sorry you feel that way. But I don't think it was unreasonable for us to expect this lady and/or her partner to be truthful they had ample opportunity to mention her disability and weight during the chat. The meet in the hotel bar was lovely, just the going upstairs a bit embarrassing or should we have tried to have sex with a lady who did not sexually turn us on so not to upset her. Come on, be fair. " Nobody is saying you should have sex with someone you aren't attracted to, but you missed out on getting your willy wet. Is it in any way even remotely comparable to the 103758294 different ways a disability makes your life harder every single day? Honestly, you sound very entitled. You decided you weren't attracted and left. Shakespearean tragedy this is not. | |||
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"Saying hello after a rough day of trying to multitask and family being needy (the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven). Going to lie down in a darkened room with my electric blanket, eye mask and earplugs!" Aw bless you, hope you get to disconnect. I concur with QOH on squishmallows, I have two one for the bed and one for the sofa | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario. Sorry you feel that way. But I don't think it was unreasonable for us to expect this lady and/or her partner to be truthful they had ample opportunity to mention her disability and weight during the chat. The meet in the hotel bar was lovely, just the going upstairs a bit embarrassing or should we have tried to have sex with a lady who did not sexually turn us on so not to upset her. Come on, be fair. Nobody is saying you should have sex with someone you aren't attracted to, but you missed out on getting your willy wet. Is it in any way even remotely comparable to the 103758294 different ways a disability makes your life harder every single day? Honestly, you sound very entitled. You decided you weren't attracted and left. Shakespearean tragedy this is not." Talk about wrong end of the stick but let me explain how I don't think we damaged this lady, quite the contrary. Firstly, I couldn't "wet my willy" as you stated, I'm Liz the lady of the couple. The meet as it happened. Initial contact through message. Replied to message saying would need ladies to have quick phone chat. No problem to have chat gave mobiles. Had chat few days later all very friendly, funny and engaging. Talked about past meets and our line to everyone we intend to meet, nothing promised or expected, absolutely no problem. Paul had a quick chat to her and a few words with partner, mainly directions. Met up a few weeks later in pub. Had a lovely time talking about lots of mainly swinging related issues, laughter, drinks and chat. No quick exit or Shakespearean tragedy. It was obvious to me I had no interest sexually so during the evening we dropped some hints about not staying too late etc, it was taken in good grace, no rudeness, no discussion as to reasons. We made no mention of her disability or weight and did, as we always do, contact them again within 24 hours thanking them for a lovely evening but we wouldn't be taking it any further. We had a response thanking us making the effort to meet up and for a great evening. Where any entitlement or willy dipping is shown is beyond me. Would we have met if the lady stated her true size or she had a severe physical disability, no we wouldn't. Would we ignore this couple or any other able bodied or disabled person at a social meet or party, absolutely not. We just like folks to be up front and honest. Do we get rejected by others, of course we do, it's the nature of the beast in this game. | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario. Sorry you feel that way. But I don't think it was unreasonable for us to expect this lady and/or her partner to be truthful they had ample opportunity to mention her disability and weight during the chat. The meet in the hotel bar was lovely, just the going upstairs a bit embarrassing or should we have tried to have sex with a lady who did not sexually turn us on so not to upset her. Come on, be fair. Nobody is saying you should have sex with someone you aren't attracted to, but you missed out on getting your willy wet. Is it in any way even remotely comparable to the 103758294 different ways a disability makes your life harder every single day? Honestly, you sound very entitled. You decided you weren't attracted and left. Shakespearean tragedy this is not. Talk about wrong end of the stick but let me explain how I don't think we damaged this lady, quite the contrary. Firstly, I couldn't "wet my willy" as you stated, I'm Liz the lady of the couple. The meet as it happened. Initial contact through message. Replied to message saying would need ladies to have quick phone chat. No problem to have chat gave mobiles. Had chat few days later all very friendly, funny and engaging. Talked about past meets and our line to everyone we intend to meet, nothing promised or expected, absolutely no problem. Paul had a quick chat to her and a few words with partner, mainly directions. Met up a few weeks later in pub. Had a lovely time talking about lots of mainly swinging related issues, laughter, drinks and chat. No quick exit or Shakespearean tragedy. It was obvious to me I had no interest sexually so during the evening we dropped some hints about not staying too late etc, it was taken in good grace, no rudeness, no discussion as to reasons. We made no mention of her disability or weight and did, as we always do, contact them again within 24 hours thanking them for a lovely evening but we wouldn't be taking it any further. We had a response thanking us making the effort to meet up and for a great evening. Where any entitlement or willy dipping is shown is beyond me. Would we have met if the lady stated her true size or she had a severe physical disability, no we wouldn't. Would we ignore this couple or any other able bodied or disabled person at a social meet or party, absolutely not. We just like folks to be up front and honest. Do we get rejected by others, of course we do, it's the nature of the beast in this game. " I'm still struggling to see how this is linked to neurodiversity? | |||
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"Have invested in one of those dawn simulator wake up lights and will be trying it out tomorrow. Hopefully it'll make waking up a little less excruciating. Apparently using this and then a SAD lamp later in the day can help to pull your circadian rhythm forward. I live in hope." Good luck with self healing, just a simple thing like a very bright daylight lamp can make a huge difference. This is why sunbeds are also used, sadly foreign holidays aren't on prescription yet... Live in Hope, I've never been there, but we have been to Edale twice, last year and it's a beautiful part of the world. | |||
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"Have invested in one of those dawn simulator wake up lights and will be trying it out tomorrow. Hopefully it'll make waking up a little less excruciating. Apparently using this and then a SAD lamp later in the day can help to pull your circadian rhythm forward. I live in hope. Good luck with self healing, just a simple thing like a very bright daylight lamp can make a huge difference. This is why sunbeds are also used, sadly foreign holidays aren't on prescription yet... Live in Hope, I've never been there, but we have been to Edale twice, last year and it's a beautiful part of the world." It sure is. Lots of beautiful places in Derbyshire - even better than Yorkshire and less shouty about it too | |||
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"As someone who has never suffered any form of MH issues I'd be really interested to know do folks who suffer from MH or indeed physical health issues inform swingers they intend to meet of these issues. We drove a considerable distance to meet a couple and she was severely disabled and sadly extremely overweight too. We found it quite disappointing and felt in some way taken advantage of. Or have we got it wrong. Be interested in your views, thanks in advance. I think that framing your experience in this way belies an astounding lack of empathy for this woman's reality. In all likelihood, your fleeting disappointment will be absolutely nothing compared to what she has to overcome every single day. I find it bizarre that you portray yourself as a victim in this scenario. Sorry you feel that way. But I don't think it was unreasonable for us to expect this lady and/or her partner to be truthful they had ample opportunity to mention her disability and weight during the chat. The meet in the hotel bar was lovely, just the going upstairs a bit embarrassing or should we have tried to have sex with a lady who did not sexually turn us on so not to upset her. Come on, be fair. Nobody is saying you should have sex with someone you aren't attracted to, but you missed out on getting your willy wet. Is it in any way even remotely comparable to the 103758294 different ways a disability makes your life harder every single day? Honestly, you sound very entitled. You decided you weren't attracted and left. Shakespearean tragedy this is not. Talk about wrong end of the stick but let me explain how I don't think we damaged this lady, quite the contrary. Firstly, I couldn't "wet my willy" as you stated, I'm Liz the lady of the couple. The meet as it happened. Initial contact through message. Replied to message saying would need ladies to have quick phone chat. No problem to have chat gave mobiles. Had chat few days later all very friendly, funny and engaging. Talked about past meets and our line to everyone we intend to meet, nothing promised or expected, absolutely no problem. Paul had a quick chat to her and a few words with partner, mainly directions. Met up a few weeks later in pub. Had a lovely time talking about lots of mainly swinging related issues, laughter, drinks and chat. No quick exit or Shakespearean tragedy. It was obvious to me I had no interest sexually so during the evening we dropped some hints about not staying too late etc, it was taken in good grace, no rudeness, no discussion as to reasons. We made no mention of her disability or weight and did, as we always do, contact them again within 24 hours thanking them for a lovely evening but we wouldn't be taking it any further. We had a response thanking us making the effort to meet up and for a great evening. Where any entitlement or willy dipping is shown is beyond me. Would we have met if the lady stated her true size or she had a severe physical disability, no we wouldn't. Would we ignore this couple or any other able bodied or disabled person at a social meet or party, absolutely not. We just like folks to be up front and honest. Do we get rejected by others, of course we do, it's the nature of the beast in this game. I'm still struggling to see how this is linked to neurodiversity?" It's a response to us being classed as entitled. Don't worry, I'll be off soon, l know where I'm not wanted.
Can I just say thank you for the nice messages received and some wonderful insights and advice, thank you for taking the time. | |||
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"Have invested in one of those dawn simulator wake up lights and will be trying it out tomorrow. Hopefully it'll make waking up a little less excruciating. Apparently using this and then a SAD lamp later in the day can help to pull your circadian rhythm forward. I live in hope. Good luck with self healing, just a simple thing like a very bright daylight lamp can make a huge difference. This is why sunbeds are also used, sadly foreign holidays aren't on prescription yet... Live in Hope, I've never been there, but we have been to Edale twice, last year and it's a beautiful part of the world. It sure is. Lots of beautiful places in Derbyshire - even better than Yorkshire and less shouty about it too "Tell me about it, Yorkshire who? We've even do a day out to the Peaks from Bedford. it's an addictive place I never need an excuse to go there, just a full tank. The wayfarer bus ticket is amazing. Feel free to invite me up You know the joke about Matlock bath being Englands most inland seaside resort: then I reckon the memorial tower at Crick/tram museum should be its lighthouse. | |||
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"My roots are firmly in Yorkshire and all of a sudden this thread no longer feels like a safe place! "Feel the same | |||
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Although I'd listen to them whittle on about it all day because the accent is dreeeeeeamy | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven)" My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit "I love cheesy jokes | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit
I love cheesy jokes "Ha that’s hilarious! I think my dog does, too! | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit "This is perfect | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit "Has he been checked out for As-purr-gers as well? | |||
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"My roots are firmly in Yorkshire and all of a sudden this thread no longer feels like a safe place! "A cultural exchange would be good for bonding...Tan Hill in to Cat & Fiddle! It's got to be done. | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit
Has he been checked out for As-purr-gers as well?"I like what you did there haha. And glad everyone appreciates my cats nickname. Do love a pun or play on words | |||
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"(the dog has ADHD so he is forgiven) My cat is called Eddie and I always joke that he has Eddie-HD because he does the most random shit
Has he been checked out for As-purr-gers as well?
I like what you did there haha. And glad everyone appreciates my cats nickname. Do love a pun or play on words "Pungent: a bloke who tells rotten jokes. | |||
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"Why have I just pictured your cat in ski gear, dressed like Eddie the Eagle flying of your roof?" That would be fucking random He'd definitely go on the roof if he could work out how. But not sure he'd manage the ski gear lol. 18 months old and part Norwegian Forest Cat. He bloody loves being up high and giving me heart palpitations | |||
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"No Yorkshire hate at all, it's a lovely place just the locals don't half enjoy letting you know
Although I'd listen to them whittle on about it all day because the accent is dreeeeeeamy "Dam, I don't even have that going for me! Still I dont call people 'me duck' so you know, swings and roundabouts | |||
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"My roots are firmly in Yorkshire and all of a sudden this thread no longer feels like a safe place!
A cultural exchange would be good for bonding...Tan Hill in to Cat & Fiddle! It's got to be done.
"Christ no, i find the hills of Hertfordshire to much, there's a reason I used to race the track! | |||
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"No Yorkshire hate at all, it's a lovely place just the locals don't half enjoy letting you know
Although I'd listen to them whittle on about it all day because the accent is dreeeeeeamy
Dam, I don't even have that going for me! Still I dont call people 'me duck' so you know, swings and roundabouts "Note wrong with a bit of obscure archaic Norse | |||
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"I'm wondering whether to keep going with the ND tag on new posts or just post in here. I feel we are all too flighty for rules lol. Kinda feeling meh this eve and know it's an ND thing but also don't know how to explain it in text ... Wish I had more ND friends local to me to hang with. I need snuggles and like minded chat. In fact, I need a proper cuddle puddle! Been years since I've had one. " even virtually we’re here for you | |||
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"I'm wondering whether to keep going with the ND tag on new posts or just post in here. I feel we are all too flighty for rules lol. Kinda feeling meh this eve and know it's an ND thing but also don't know how to explain it in text ... Wish I had more ND friends local to me to hang with. I need snuggles and like minded chat. In fact, I need a proper cuddle puddle! Been years since I've had one. "Burn out, maybe? What things do you like to do, to help, when you’re feeling crap? Chat away lovely x | |||
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"It's slightly burn out, but mostly of my own doing trying to prove myself in my new job. It's more about wanting connections but struggling to find the right ones. I've been really disconnected from my body and self for like 2.5 years. Shut myself down and then life was just stressful and complex. Finally in a good place, started getting myself out again. Last Friday at a club I felt the most genuinely ME that I have in years and it was such a high ... then ... nothing. Its like emptiness." Post-club drop is very real. That huge rush of adrenaline and then coming home alone, when most of your mates are in couples, it can feel a bit crap. Are there any local fb adhd groups you could join for a zoom meeting or meet up? It’s a shame you’re not local! | |||
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"I’ve received my lovely and luscious teddy weighted blanket today. I shall update you about the results in my night sleep (probably nine )
Good night lovely pervs xx"I wanna know you're weighted blanket of snuggles review | |||
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"I’ve received my lovely and luscious teddy weighted blanket today. I shall update you about the results in my night sleep (probably nine )
Good night lovely pervs xx
I wanna know you're weighted blanket of snuggles review"Oh yes! I forgot
Very calming sensation, specially being fluffy and all, but, apart from not being able to toss and turn in bed as much, I haven't noticed any change on my sleeping unfortunately | |||
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"I’ve received my lovely and luscious teddy weighted blanket today. I shall update you about the results in my night sleep (probably nine )
Good night lovely pervs xx
I wanna know you're weighted blanket of snuggles review
Oh yes! I forgot
Very calming sensation, specially being fluffy and all, but, apart from not being able to toss and turn in bed as much, I haven't noticed any change on my sleeping unfortunately "Takes a little bit of time too I think, that's the sensation I found also , maybe once the route cause of the sleep subsides a bit the extra of the weighted blanket will help more ... maybe | |||
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"It's slightly burn out, but mostly of my own doing trying to prove myself in my new job. It's more about wanting connections but struggling to find the right ones. I've been really disconnected from my body and self for like 2.5 years. Shut myself down and then life was just stressful and complex. Finally in a good place, started getting myself out again. Last Friday at a club I felt the most genuinely ME that I have in years and it was such a high ... then ... nothing. Its like emptiness. Post-club drop is very real. That huge rush of adrenaline and then coming home alone, when most of your mates are in couples, it can feel a bit crap. Are there any local fb adhd groups you could join for a zoom meeting or meet up? It’s a shame you’re not local! " I hear you, even in a couple I feel it mid week, as we don't live together: it's very real. | |||
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"I’ve received my lovely and luscious teddy weighted blanket today. I shall update you about the results in my night sleep (probably nine )
Good night lovely pervs xx
I wanna know you're weighted blanket of snuggles review
Oh yes! I forgot
Very calming sensation, specially being fluffy and all, but, apart from not being able to toss and turn in bed as much, I haven't noticed any change on my sleeping unfortunately "Let's have a weighted blanket party: no clothes allowed. I've got two now. | |||
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"I don't like weighted blankets, because the word 'blanket' implies an actual blanket, and these things just aren't blankety enough. "Heavy quilt? | |||
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"Post-club drop is very real. That huge rush of adrenaline and then coming home alone, when most of your mates are in couples, it can feel a bit crap. Are there any local fb adhd groups you could join for a zoom meeting or meet up? It’s a shame you’re not local! " A lot of the friends I see regularly at home are single but not on the scene. They are aware about my sexcapades though haha. I think a few have been tempted to try a club one day, but I don't think it would truly happen. They do all know I'm very tactile and cuddly as well, but I always feel worried about being "too much" and invading people's space by mistake. I think it's really that intimacy that I'm missing in life. Difficult to find support groups for that lol. Not necessarily sex, but human touch and connections. " I hear you, even in a couple I feel it mid week, as we don't live together: it's very real." It's a longing isn't it? | |||
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"I don't like weighted blankets, because the word 'blanket' implies an actual blanket, and these things just aren't blankety enough.
Heavy quilt?"Dense snuggle sheet? | |||
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"How deep is your imposter syndrome? Every time I write something to post for whatever reason, I end up deleting it because I feel so fucking pretentious." I'm not sure ... but what is it your trying/ wanting to discuss | |||
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"How deep is your imposter syndrome? Every time I write something to post for whatever reason, I end up deleting it because I feel so fucking pretentious. I'm not sure ... but what is it your trying/ wanting to discuss" Anything and everything. It's not just here, it's something I realised I've always struggled with. The issue is the overlaying imposter syndrome rather than anything specific. Just something I needed to get off my chest I guess. | |||
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