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Social meet physical contact?
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This is going to probably be a daft question so apologies in advance if it’s been asked before.
When meeting someone in a social eg a coffee. Is there any advice on how to greet and maybe more important when saying goodbye what kind of physical contact is good or bad? Eg if a social goes well is it ok to ask to hug the person/people? We had a social and I wasn’t sure what the form was and I felt so awkward afterwards.
Not very good at explaining what I mean sorry if it’s all jumbled.
TIA |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hug on meeting and parting but that's me anyway regardless of context be it here or friends. Can I just clarify... I don't hug the postie or amazon guy lol just friends. |
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"Mr N shakes hands with guys and kisses women on the cheek. I kiss both on the cheek. All in a friendly and non sexual way. 
Same for us x"
I can always tell how interested the guy is at the end of a social by the way they do the goodbye kiss on the cheek. Women are harder to read in that respect |
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"Ask if it's ok to hug. I don't on socials, I find it awkward. People often get weird when I say no. "
Good point. I usually do ask social meets are the only time I don't. Meeting our son's girlfriend for the first time recently I asked if it was ok.
I shall in future  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know what you mean, it can be awkward but for me, I just treat it as any other social occasion. How would you treat someone you were meeting first time outside of a swinging scenario? Handshake? Hug? Cheek kisses ? Whatever you feel comfortable with I’d go with but if I’m any doubt , ask . Can’t really go wrong with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ask if it's ok to hug. I don't on socials, I find it awkward. People often get weird when I say no.
Good point. I usually do ask social meets are the only time I don't. Meeting our son's girlfriend for the first time recently I asked if it was ok.
I shall in future "
My post wasn't aimed at you. I realise most people are ok with hugs and I'm an Outlier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ask if it's ok to hug. I don't on socials, I find it awkward. People often get weird when I say no.
I’ll get weird anyway…. In that way you like  "
Broom handle and gloves. |
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It depends how long I’ve been chatting with someone beforehand, and how much of a connection we’ve already made? But I’ll always offer my hand, and kiss the cheek in a friendly, non-sexual way for a lady, or if we’ve built a rapport so you know the social is ‘academic’, I’ll be going in for a cuddle and peck on the cheek, if not the lips. Again, it’s all down to how you’ve built up to the social….. 
The male half of a couple it’s always a friendly handshake, and make sure I look him squarely in the eyes, with a genuine smile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Er I would like to clarify this is only when saying goodbye. I don't go around attaching myself to stranger's faces to greet them."
If they flinch perhaps go for the cheek or air kiss instead.
If they close their eyes and pucker up... lick your lips and get in there. |
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"If I fancy them I'll go in for the kiss but reading these replies I wonder whether that's a little forward  "
Happy to meet forward ladies. Handshake and smile for guys and kiss on the cheek for ladies, but sometimes I go French, both cheeks before you get the wrong idea. |
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"Mr N shakes hands with guys and kisses women on the cheek. I kiss both on the cheek. All in a friendly and non sexual way. "
^ This.
Alternatively, we pre-arrange that there might be a snog on offer at the end if it's going well. |
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"Ask if it's ok to hug. I don't on socials, I find it awkward. People often get weird when I say no. "
Completely agree! I would never hug anyone I had just met. *Maybe* if the social had gone *exceptionally* well, I might accept a hug afterwards. |
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Touch is a very important part if a first meet, it helps release anxiety and build chemistry.
That being said, no means no, but without a hug/ cheek kiss/high five/elbow tap, whatever, you are setting yourself up for a hard journey and nay actually kill any potential meet before it gets off the ground. Just my two pennies worth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Touch is a very important part if a first meet, it helps release anxiety and build chemistry.
That being said, no means no, but without a hug/ cheek kiss/high five/elbow tap, whatever, you are setting yourself up for a hard journey and nay actually kill any potential meet before it gets off the ground. Just my two pennies worth."
Agree.
We've been on a social where we have both offered a hand shake and quickly realised the guy was a bit taken aback. We both knew from that first initial moment things weren't going to progress x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Touch is a very important part if a first meet, it helps release anxiety and build chemistry.
That being said, no means no, but without a hug/ cheek kiss/high five/elbow tap, whatever, you are setting yourself up for a hard journey and nay actually kill any potential meet before it gets off the ground. Just my two pennies worth."
Fine by me if someone gets offended that I don't want physical contact. I don't meet disrespectful people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always a friendly brief hug with women and a handshake with guys. Simple non sexual stuff. Women I know quite well kiss on the cheek too. If they offer their lips I'll kiss there too lol but that would definitely be with women I have had or potentially might have some kind of intimacy with, and I'd be always let them turn for a cheek kiss so they can determine..
This is all normal human connections. We need to ditch these covid behaviours of distancing and sexualising greetings. It's just a hand on clothed hip hello, nothing more. |
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Asking for a hug doesn't need to be verbal - stretch out your arms and they'll either reciprocate or shake your hand or ignore it, and you respect their decision.
I think a hug and air kiss with someone you've socialised with is the norm nowadays, so if you don't like that, it's probably good to make it clear up front so you don't get asked. |
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I'm a tart, so will always go in for the kiss/peck on the cheek.. unless I know they're married.. then I'll be good and keep things very platonic during a public social.
Physical contact is a huge part of me, so if there is a cold reception to touching, it won't be going any further than a coffee! |
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"Also, I wonder how much this correlates with whether people like to kiss during play.
I can imagine if you don't like kissing during play that you would be less keen on social hugging."
Not for me. I'm happy to hug and kiss on the cheek but I don't want kissing passionately on the mouth at any time with anyone but my partner |
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By *I TwoCouple
over a year ago
PDI 12-26th Nov 24 |
"This is going to probably be a daft question so apologies in advance if it’s been asked before.
When meeting someone in a social eg a coffee. Is there any advice on how to greet and maybe more important when saying goodbye what kind of physical contact is good or bad? Eg if a social goes well is it ok to ask to hug the person/people? We had a social and I wasn’t sure what the form was and I felt so awkward afterwards.
Not very good at explaining what I mean sorry if it’s all jumbled.
TIA "
If we all get in then definitely physical contact, hugs maybe a squeeze of the butt or a quick grope elsewhere. We're all adults and we're there for sex at the end if the day and if a quick touch offends then it's not going anywhere anyway.
Unless agreed in advance that it's purely social of course. |
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"Mr N shakes hands with guys and kisses women on the cheek. I kiss both on the cheek. All in a friendly and non sexual way.
Same here! I greet most people like this though "
Us too.
But we do this to all our friends, not just FAB friends.
Do what you feel comfortable, if you never kiss on the cheek, don't do it, it will end as an embarrassing head butt. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Ask if it's ok to hug. I don't on socials, I find it awkward. People often get weird when I say no.
I’ll get weird anyway…. In that way you like
Broom handle and gloves. "
You do know how to turn me on bestie |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hug / handshake on meeting and if the social has gone well and is likely to be followed up on another day then a kiss in the car park.
Lets me know she fancies him and also allows her to do a quick breath check. |
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"This is going to probably be a daft question so apologies in advance if it’s been asked before.
When meeting someone in a social eg a coffee. Is there any advice on how to greet and maybe more important when saying goodbye what kind of physical contact is good or bad? Eg if a social goes well is it ok to ask to hug the person/people? We had a social and I wasn’t sure what the form was and I felt so awkward afterwards.
Not very good at explaining what I mean sorry if it’s all jumbled.
TIA "
That's a very good question with quite a simple answer. Read the vibes and go with the flow !. To an extent its ok to test the water with a little affection if all is going well, briefly touch their hand, stroke their arm just once etc and see how they react. Nothing wrong with showing interest. The problem comes if your affection is not returned in any way... |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
It's difficult I feel. I guess it depends on how the social goes, first and foremost. Whether there is a lot of flirtation, how close you would be sitting to each other.
I will very often ask... can I have a hug..if I feel things have gone well.
I don't have expectations on doing so. Some people do not like their personal space invaded, but I have been told that they thought I wasn't interested because I never kissed before leaving. It's down to the individuals involved and the reading of the moment. Personally I would err on the side of caution unless it's obvious. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Play it by ear.
Don't go in with any preconceptions. If it goes great then a hug, kiss or whatever else us fine.
If it's not gone as well as expected then a polite thanks and a wish of good luck is also perfectly fine.
There should be no expectations on either parties part that there'll be any physical contact full stop.
A |
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"It depends how long I’ve been chatting with someone beforehand, and how much of a connection we’ve already made? But I’ll always offer my hand, and kiss the cheek in a friendly, non-sexual way for a lady, or if we’ve built a rapport so you know the social is ‘academic’, I’ll be going in for a cuddle and peck on the cheek, if not the lips. Again, it’s all down to how you’ve built up to the social…..
The male half of a couple it’s always a friendly handshake, and make sure I look him squarely in the eyes, with a genuine smile "
I've talked to people though brilliant
Had a social and f2f it really was poo
So I'm not sure any social is academic...
I usually just greet bright and cheery and then at the end either handshake if it's a real crap time or a hug if it's ok
If i hug /kiss on cheek and the guy seems to be okay with it then maybe a kiss if I like them
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"Mr N shakes hands with guys and kisses women on the cheek. I kiss both on the cheek. All in a friendly and non sexual way.
Same for us x
I can always tell how interested the guy is at the end of a social by the way they do the goodbye kiss on the cheek. Women are harder to read in that respect "
Wouldn't work with me, my slightly on the spectrum ways mean I'm really awkward in those situations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hug on meeting. See how the meet goes and judge what happens on the way out. Usually hug goodbye at least … right the way through to push up against the wall and full on kisses and touching (not very social but for us it’s about reading the moment). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A hug on meeting, a kiss on the cheek. Then read it if all goes well and it's been flirty etc then I may make a move but it's definitely about reading it right.
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"This is going to probably be a daft question so apologies in advance if it’s been asked before.
When meeting someone in a social eg a coffee. Is there any advice on how to greet and maybe more important when saying goodbye what kind of physical contact is good or bad? Eg if a social goes well is it ok to ask to hug the person/people? We had a social and I wasn’t sure what the form was and I felt so awkward afterwards.
Not very good at explaining what I mean sorry if it’s all jumbled.
TIA "
Do what feels natural to you!  |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I would greet them and say goodbye the same I would anybody I just met, it just would depend on the vibe between us.
It could be anything from a handshake to a kiss on one or both cheeks or offer a little hug. |
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It's a bit of a minefield isn't it? From experience I don't think there is a foolproof one size fits all solution. It's more a case or reading the person, the mood and where they are going with their body language. I think it's a skill that gets better with practice. And what would any kind of new social interaction or dating scenario be without the change of a social fail or cringe? It's OK to read wrong and make a social fail you know. People do it all the time. As long as folk can see your a great person it can be forgiven and laughed off. Also a great opportunity to show the quality of your character with how you handle a fail. I think there more risk of greater fail if you don't come across warm or interested to someone you actually do want to see again.
However I'd add the caveat to above that all applies if your not coming in too heavy handed or fresh. Because if you read things totally wrong and start inappropriately heavy petting then you could be in a spot. So be careful how you read someone and when in doubt don't when it comes to something more than a huge.
Oh and it's perfectly OK to ask if they want a kiss if your not sure Ndnyou fancy one. We're not expected to be mind readers in this game and it's totally OK to ask. |
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