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When it goes past just being sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx |
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I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both."
We are not new to swinging and although my husband does enjoy playing it has on the whole mainly been me playing and him joining in.
He has been telling me for a while he thought I was falling for my fuck friend and I have been in denial about it. Until last night. I was heart broken but my husband was brilliant and reassured me all was ok x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dangerous ground end it now or it will develop further. There should be a difference between love and sex dont mix the two try another man for a bit see how it goes xxx"
I agree Lou x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dangerous ground end it now or it will develop further. There should be a difference between love and sex dont mix the two try another man for a bit see how it goes xxx"
I have had sex with other men.
Only my husband and this other man make love to me when we have sex, it’s very very intimate and that’s the appeal to it. |
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I don't think it's inherently dangerous ground when it's all consenting adults. No, one couple has the same sort of relationship to another. Years ago, me and L would never have considered poly, yet we accidently stumbled across it and here we are
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ? "
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Context: I’m polyamorous, so I don’t think this is in any way weird or a bad thing.
Stick to the rules, boundaries and agreements that you have already committed to, and change the rules rather than breaking or ignoring them. Integrity will make your life so much easier. And when in doubt, take time to yourself to think things over. |
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"Context: I’m polyamorous, so I don’t think this is in any way weird or a bad thing.
Stick to the rules, boundaries and agreements that you have already committed to, and change the rules rather than breaking or ignoring them. Integrity will make your life so much easier. And when in doubt, take time to yourself to think things over. "
Oh god yes. Changing the rules is such a good point! If things aren't working, figure out why and address it. When L and I first started doing this, one of our big rules was keeping in contact. How we implemented it didn't work, but after some trial and error we got it to a place that we're both happy with. |
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"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both.
We are not new to swinging and although my husband does enjoy playing it has on the whole mainly been me playing and him joining in.
He has been telling me for a while he thought I was falling for my fuck friend and I have been in denial about it. Until last night. I was heart broken but my husband was brilliant and reassured me all was ok x"
Gonna also say a well done to your husband for being so aware, understanding and level-headed.
To answer your initial question, yes I have felt love for two people simultaneously, started happening in my teens, I could not choose and it did not make sense to choose (and yes like you I felt horrible, because literally everyone and everything around me was telling me it was wrong).
You are in a wonderful position to sustain both of these relationships, your husband has obviously processed and seems already prepared for it. But you and your lover must scrutinize what having deeper feelings mean, for each of you. Especially for him, do his romantic feelings mean his desires, needs and expectations for what you offer him change? Will there be conflicts of interest with your existing relationship? And similarly for you, how does acknowledging you have feelings for him change what you are doing or want to do with him? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both.
We are not new to swinging and although my husband does enjoy playing it has on the whole mainly been me playing and him joining in.
He has been telling me for a while he thought I was falling for my fuck friend and I have been in denial about it. Until last night. I was heart broken but my husband was brilliant and reassured me all was ok x
Gonna also say a well done to your husband for being so aware, understanding and level-headed.
To answer your initial question, yes I have felt love for two people simultaneously, started happening in my teens, I could not choose and it did not make sense to choose (and yes like you I felt horrible, because literally everyone and everything around me was telling me it was wrong).
You are in a wonderful position to sustain both of these relationships, your husband has obviously processed and seems already prepared for it. But you and your lover must scrutinize what having deeper feelings mean, for each of you. Especially for him, do his romantic feelings mean his desires, needs and expectations for what you offer him change? Will there be conflicts of interest with your existing relationship? And similarly for you, how does acknowledging you have feelings for him change what you are doing or want to do with him? "
I’m not sure how my feeling will effect the next meet up we have, but my husband insists I go alone so I don’t feel any pressure from him to hold back or go for more. My lover is a single man, busy running a business and openly admits he has no time for a relationship, he is completely exclusive to me and he doesn’t enjoy watching me with others when we have included him in our swinging, he loves seeing the intimacy me and my husband have and even when my sub side comes out with them both he enjoys that, but not with anyone else outside of our trio being involved, in fact it effects his performance. Personally I love the fact he wants me so much and that is part of the appeal and my husband knows this and embraces it and actively encourages it.
My lover does not want to settle down and have a partner at home, he loves doing his own thing and we enjoy our time together when we get it whether it be weekly or monthly or whatever.
I have never stayed over with him although my husband has told me he has no problem with me spending the night with him. My husband is happy with what we do and knows me having my lover extends into this and we both love the sex after I have been with my lover.
But I’m still torn and wracked with guilt for having feelings for anyone other than my husband.
If I genuinely thought my husband had reservations about this or was hurt in any way by it, without question, without doubt and without hesitation it would stop immediately.
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" I’m not sure how my feeling will effect the next meet up we have, but my husband insists I go alone so I don’t feel any pressure from him to hold back or go for more. My lover is a single man, busy running a business and openly admits he has no time for a relationship, he is completely exclusive to me and he doesn’t enjoy watching me with others when we have included him in our swinging, he loves seeing the intimacy me and my husband have and even when my sub side comes out with them both he enjoys that, but not with anyone else outside of our trio being involved, in fact it effects his performance. Personally I love the fact he wants me so much and that is part of the appeal and my husband knows this and embraces it and actively encourages it.
My lover does not want to settle down and have a partner at home, he loves doing his own thing and we enjoy our time together when we get it whether it be weekly or monthly or whatever.
I have never stayed over with him although my husband has told me he has no problem with me spending the night with him. My husband is happy with what we do and knows me having my lover extends into this and we both love the sex after I have been with my lover.
But I’m still torn and wracked with guilt for having feelings for anyone other than my husband.
If I genuinely thought my husband had reservations about this or was hurt in any way by it, without question, without doubt and without hesitation it would stop immediately.
"
Honestly, it sounds like you're starting on something that could be really special. Explore your guilt, talk about it with your husband and lover separately. If it works for everyone, then surely it's worth exploring at your own pace. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's possible to love more than one person OP. There's no shame in that especially as this is happening in the full knowledge and acceptance of your husband. The 'guilt' likely comes from the conditioning we had as young people that monogamy, one man and one women etc. is the accepted and moral thing. If you all agree and accept what's happened (and seem to embrace it) then you have something very special. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is it about each other that you think you have fallen in love with? How well have you gotten to know each other apart from sex?"
The three of us regularly text each other, in fact hubby and lover probably text more than me and lover lol
I find him attractive, he fucks me like my husband does. But because it’s not my husband, it’s more intense. It’s the little touches, little kisses little looks that do it.
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Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?"
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow. |
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"What is it about each other that you think you have fallen in love with? How well have you gotten to know each other apart from sex?
The three of us regularly text each other, in fact hubby and lover probably text more than me and lover lol
I find him attractive, he fucks me like my husband does. But because it’s not my husband, it’s more intense. It’s the little touches, little kisses little looks that do it.
"
But what do you know about the man that gives you the good sex? Isn't that what people fall in love with? |
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"What is it about each other that you think you have fallen in love with? How well have you gotten to know each other apart from sex?
The three of us regularly text each other, in fact hubby and lover probably text more than me and lover lol
I find him attractive, he fucks me like my husband does. But because it’s not my husband, it’s more intense. It’s the little touches, little kisses little looks that do it.
But what do you know about the man that gives you the good sex? Isn't that what people fall in love with?"
Loving more than one person is okay, is everyone involved is okay with it. The only people that need to understand the dynamic and why it and the chemistry works is them.
It's such a hard question to answer, why people fall in love. Most definitely people fall in love because of the sex, but it isn't by far the only, or most important reason. Asexual folk for example. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is it about each other that you think you have fallen in love with? How well have you gotten to know each other apart from sex?
The three of us regularly text each other, in fact hubby and lover probably text more than me and lover lol
I find him attractive, he fucks me like my husband does. But because it’s not my husband, it’s more intense. It’s the little touches, little kisses little looks that do it.
But what do you know about the man that gives you the good sex? Isn't that what people fall in love with?"
We just get on well, we have a good laugh, we all show interest in each other. The intimate side of the sex has just accelerated anything that was there. |
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
Urgh I can relate... I had a Fwb whom I fell for hard.. it was my hubby who pointed out I was in love with him to me... I right totally screwed things up and now Fwb doesn't want to know.... FML |
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow."
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased  . Are you just following along with what he wants in this? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this? "
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s happened a few times but I am single so it wasn’t a problem. He should of kept he’s feeling in check. "
Does that go for me as well?? Should I have kept my feelings in check??
Or is it only right that I am honest with my husband about how I feel? |
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" Relationships come in many forms (...)
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain."
This feels like the key issue here. We seem to only have language for two type of romantic/sexual relationships: "in love" or "not in love" - but the reality is a lot less binary than that, there are an infinity of ways to feel about another human being.
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Sounds like you got two options of if you guys can have polyamory relationship or you stop this relationship and concentrate on your marriage. Personally, I would be gutted if my husband said he had feelings for someone else and we only did swinging to spice our love life. It's definitely changing the dynamics of things and the consequences of this will be life changing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I am writing this from a husbands point of view in a similar situation.
You can love more than one person, its perfectly normal and I can imagine it was hard enough to admit it to yourself let alone your husband, it is also very possible to maintain a healthy relationship with both husband and lover so long as you are open and honest, do as much research on polyamory as you can a podcast called non-monogamy help is a good listen, it helped me quite a bit to understand things more clearly and got me though some of my own insecurities, we are now in a Poly V type of relationship and it is actually working out really well, will it always be like this? who knows I can't predict the future but I do hope it stays on track,
Just don't feel guilty about it no matter how much you try to safe guard from catching feelings they can still crop up we are all human at the end of the day and and remember monogamous people catch feelings for others all the time and often end up in affairs and someone getting hurt at least this way there is no lying and a chance of you all working out a way that makes you all happy.
I wish you the best of luck. Nick |
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this?
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain."
Ok.
Would you feel easier about the whole situation if instead of not being happy about your feelings your husband helped you understand and come to terms with them? We don't really know you or him. Would he be able to help you accept your feelings for this other guy by understanding how difficult you're finding it instead of not being happy about it. That seems to be your stumbling block, you're feeling bad because you're not behaving how your husband thinks you should be.
You can't just move from one way of being in a relationship to another without some doubt.
Good luck to all three of you  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this?
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain.
Ok.
Would you feel easier about the whole situation if instead of not being happy about your feelings your husband helped you understand and come to terms with them? We don't really know you or him. Would he be able to help you accept your feelings for this other guy by understanding how difficult you're finding it instead of not being happy about it. That seems to be your stumbling block, you're feeling bad because you're not behaving how your husband thinks you should be.
You can't just move from one way of being in a relationship to another without some doubt.
Good luck to all three of you "
I think you have misunderstood what I meant when I said he wasn’t happy.
He could see I was holding back and wasn’t relaxing when with my lover. He said he wants me to relax and enjoy what I and we do. He didn’t like the fact I wasn’t opening myself up fully to the enjoyment of our time together.
My husband has been great, he has no issue with this. He expect full honesty and for me and him to carry on as we do.
His words was this.
Having a long term fuck friend like you have always ran the risk of feelings being involved, he isn’t naive enough to think otherwise, he added he wouldn’t want me to keep going if I wasn’t enjoying our time together.
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this?
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain.
Ok.
Would you feel easier about the whole situation if instead of not being happy about your feelings your husband helped you understand and come to terms with them? We don't really know you or him. Would he be able to help you accept your feelings for this other guy by understanding how difficult you're finding it instead of not being happy about it. That seems to be your stumbling block, you're feeling bad because you're not behaving how your husband thinks you should be.
You can't just move from one way of being in a relationship to another without some doubt.
Good luck to all three of you
I think you have misunderstood what I meant when I said he wasn’t happy.
He could see I was holding back and wasn’t relaxing when with my lover. He said he wants me to relax and enjoy what I and we do. He didn’t like the fact I wasn’t opening myself up fully to the enjoyment of our time together.
My husband has been great, he has no issue with this. He expect full honesty and for me and him to carry on as we do.
His words was this.
Having a long term fuck friend like you have always ran the risk of feelings being involved, he isn’t naive enough to think otherwise, he added he wouldn’t want me to keep going if I wasn’t enjoying our time together.
"
Ok. So you're conflicted because you think you shouldn't feel the way you do? |
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A few people are suggesting, directly or indirectly, that the "feelings" the OP is experiencing are lust and not "real" love. Just to say that physical touch is a MASSIVE component to bonding in mammals. When you hold a baby and you feel love, do you wonder, I've only just met this person, what's its achievements, is it a good & ethical person, what if I'm being misguided  You may think my example is reductive but that's the base of things, it doesn't take that much to love.
If anything we should be asking why we DON'T have feelings for all the people we're rutting with; answer is cos we actively shut it down - as a few have also suggested the OP and lover should be doing. To look down on emerging feelings is bit like calling wildflowers and pulling them out. Which is exactly what you should be doing if you want a manicured garden! But not necessarily what is natural, or what everyone prefers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this?
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain.
Ok.
Would you feel easier about the whole situation if instead of not being happy about your feelings your husband helped you understand and come to terms with them? We don't really know you or him. Would he be able to help you accept your feelings for this other guy by understanding how difficult you're finding it instead of not being happy about it. That seems to be your stumbling block, you're feeling bad because you're not behaving how your husband thinks you should be.
You can't just move from one way of being in a relationship to another without some doubt.
Good luck to all three of you
I think you have misunderstood what I meant when I said he wasn’t happy.
He could see I was holding back and wasn’t relaxing when with my lover. He said he wants me to relax and enjoy what I and we do. He didn’t like the fact I wasn’t opening myself up fully to the enjoyment of our time together.
My husband has been great, he has no issue with this. He expect full honesty and for me and him to carry on as we do.
His words was this.
Having a long term fuck friend like you have always ran the risk of feelings being involved, he isn’t naive enough to think otherwise, he added he wouldn’t want me to keep going if I wasn’t enjoying our time together.
Ok. So you're conflicted because you think you shouldn't feel the way you do?"
Very much so. I was heartbroken knowing that feelings had developed, I know it shouldn’t happen but it has and my husband has been so good about everything but I still feel a twinge of guilt, and also very naughty and horny by it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Relationships come in many forms and if all three of you are happy I can't see a problem. But you seem conflicted. The only people who can resolve this are you three.
Do you and your lover only show each other your best selves?
No this happens in front of my husband to when we meet up. It was my husband that mentioned it,
We was going home after visiting him one evening and he called me a naughty little fucker, when I questioned why, he told me what he had seen and I was oblivious to it.
Then o become more aware and tried to rein it in. My husband noticed this and wasn’t best pleased that I was not relaxing and enjoying and doing what I wanted. I started to relax more and then the feeongs started to grow.
I know its happening in front of your husband but are you and your lover in love with each other or with the idea of each other? You're obviously well matched sexually and maybe your idea of love differs from mine but love to me is way more than sex.
I don't know what you mean when you say your husband wasn't best pleased . Are you just following along with what he wants in this?
My husband can see when I’m holding back and not being myself, in anything we do do, not just in swinging… he is a firm believer in doing everything wholeheartedly, giving it everything you have got, otherwise you don’t get the benefit of the full experience, he could see I wasn’t relaxed and wasn’t happy about it.
The love bit…hard to explain… I do love the sex, really love it. And I definitely do have feelings for him beyond being friends. It’s hard to explain.
Ok.
Would you feel easier about the whole situation if instead of not being happy about your feelings your husband helped you understand and come to terms with them? We don't really know you or him. Would he be able to help you accept your feelings for this other guy by understanding how difficult you're finding it instead of not being happy about it. That seems to be your stumbling block, you're feeling bad because you're not behaving how your husband thinks you should be.
You can't just move from one way of being in a relationship to another without some doubt.
Good luck to all three of you
I think you have misunderstood what I meant when I said he wasn’t happy.
He could see I was holding back and wasn’t relaxing when with my lover. He said he wants me to relax and enjoy what I and we do. He didn’t like the fact I wasn’t opening myself up fully to the enjoyment of our time together.
My husband has been great, he has no issue with this. He expect full honesty and for me and him to carry on as we do.
His words was this.
Having a long term fuck friend like you have always ran the risk of feelings being involved, he isn’t naive enough to think otherwise, he added he wouldn’t want me to keep going if I wasn’t enjoying our time together.
Ok. So you're conflicted because you think you shouldn't feel the way you do?
Very much so. I was heartbroken knowing that feelings had developed, I know it shouldn’t happen but it has and my husband has been so good about everything but I still feel a twinge of guilt, and also very naughty and horny by it all. "
Why do you think it shouldn't happen? This is likely just because we are all brought up in a society that leads you to believe you should only love one person and that it is wrong to love another, when in matter of fact it is far from wrong if it makes you happy, try and embrace it and explore your feelings, your husband sounds like an absolute gem of a guy that will always be there to support you so do some research together, it will make it easier knowing there are plenty of others that live in a similar arrangement to yourselves |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is exactly what my husband said, I responded with what would people think and other couples would split for this reason.
His reply was what would people think is they knew we fucked other people, went dogging, went to swingers clubs etc. what is the difference what other people would do, as long as we are secure, honest and happy we do what we like and enjoy and what works for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is exactly what my husband said, I responded with what would people think and other couples would split for this reason.
His reply was what would people think is they knew we fucked other people, went dogging, went to swingers clubs etc. what is the difference what other people would do, as long as we are secure, honest and happy we do what we like and enjoy and what works for us "
You would actually be quite surprised, a lot of our vanilla friends know about us and although they wouldn't want to do it themselves, they are very supportive of us and have gotten to know my wifes lover and consider him a friend too, my friendship group at a club are also very supportive and I am taking my wife and her lover to meet them for the first time on Friday I'm very much looking forward to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t know if I’m repeating anything that’s already been said so apologies if I am. But I just wanted to say that just because you have love feelings doesn’t mean you have to take the “relationship escalator“ and have a full blown “relationship” with cohabiting marriage et cetera. You can let this relationship take its own form. there is no reason why you can’t form a relationship that falls where it falls. Have a read about not just polyamory but also relationship anarchy. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I think your husband sounds amazing and understanding and I feel that so long as you are all open in communication then there is no reason why this shouldn't work out very well for all of you. Obviously like many have said it's different to a traditional relationship, but there is no need to follow tradition. Life is short, do it your way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
"
Open up to your husband about your feelings toward you fuck friend. He may be ok with you having fun, but falling if love is something else.
How about your fuck friend. Is he aware about your feeling?
Fuck is fun, love is commitment.
Good luck, I hope every work out for you guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
Open up to your husband about your feelings toward you fuck friend. He may be ok with you having fun, but falling if love is something else.
How about your fuck friend. Is he aware about your feeling?
Fuck is fun, love is commitment.
Good luck, I hope every work out for you guys."
Love doesn’t have to mean commitment. It can mean whatever you and your partner(s) decide. Yes most people get on the “relationship escalator” but you can step off it and do things your own way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its our morale teaching that says we should only love one person, but in reality of course its not the case and we all have the ability to fall in love with other people as well as our partner. As previously said, make sure you are open with your partner and him you (and the FWB) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its our morale teaching that says we should only love one person, but in reality of course its not the case and we all have the ability to fall in love with other people as well as our partner. As previously said, make sure you are open with your partner and him you (and the FWB) "
I understand what you mean. It’s just conditioned into us from day one really, I get so conflicted with how I get. But more and more I am becoming more comfortable with the suppprt of my husband |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"how would you feel if it was the other way round your hubby and another woman and him feeling like you do about fb"
If I’m completely honest, I think it would freak me out. My husband is far more open to this issue than I am to be honest. Which is a good thing for me, if he didn’t like the idea all contact would be cut with the fb.
I know I’m in a very very lucky place with how my husband has reacted.
But back to your question…I wouldn’t like it if my husband was in the same position as me, I know that’s hypocritical of me but if my husband get this way it would stop immediately x |
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There seems a lot on here about what you and your husband are happy with but not much about the guy.
If your husband or you suddenly decide you aren’t comfortable with any part of the situation and cut things off, this poor guy could end up broken hearted. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
its what ever make you all happy that matters every body is different some can only love one and some can love more regardless of how many you have sex with
only the 3 of you know the path you choose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how would you feel if it was the other way round your hubby and another woman and him feeling like you do about fb
If I’m completely honest, I think it would freak me out. My husband is far more open to this issue than I am to be honest. Which is a good thing for me, if he didn’t like the idea all contact would be cut with the fb.
I know I’m in a very very lucky place with how my husband has reacted.
But back to your question…I wouldn’t like it if my husband was in the same position as me, I know that’s hypocritical of me but if my husband get this way it would stop immediately x"
Now that you have said that "it would stop immediately" are you 100% you have fallen in love with your FWB if you are willing to cut ties on your husbands say so then I'm not so sure, it might be the start of something great but just be careful people aren't toys you can just pick up a drop when ever you want, I know if I was to ask my wife to ditch her BF she wouldn't be able to and thats how I know they are in love and I wouldn't ever ask of the either as it's not fair of me to do so.
Just be cristal clear with your hubby and FWB that there is a hierarchy going on and where each one of them stands on that, be sure to really think long and hard if this is what you yourself wants, it won't always be easy catering for 2 peoples needs and will probably require more effort form you then anyone else to try and keep them both happy.
It is also irrelevant on how you feel about it being the other way round, by the sounds of it that isn't happening but just check with your husband that it isn't something he is seeking because if it is you might find yourself in a difficult position in the future.
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There seems a lot on here about what you and your husband are happy with but not much about the guy.
If your husband or you suddenly decide you aren’t comfortable with any part of the situation and cut things off, this poor guy could end up broken hearted. "
He understand the situation and has been involved in the conversation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"how would you feel if it was the other way round your hubby and another woman and him feeling like you do about fb
If I’m completely honest, I think it would freak me out. My husband is far more open to this issue than I am to be honest. Which is a good thing for me, if he didn’t like the idea all contact would be cut with the fb.
I know I’m in a very very lucky place with how my husband has reacted.
But back to your question…I wouldn’t like it if my husband was in the same position as me, I know that’s hypocritical of me but if my husband get this way it would stop immediately x
Now that you have said that "it would stop immediately" are you 100% you have fallen in love with your FWB if you are willing to cut ties on your husbands say so then I'm not so sure, it might be the start of something great but just be careful people aren't toys you can just pick up a drop when ever you want, I know if I was to ask my wife to ditch her BF she wouldn't be able to and thats how I know they are in love and I wouldn't ever ask of the either as it's not fair of me to do so.
Just be cristal clear with your hubby and FWB that there is a hierarchy going on and where each one of them stands on that, be sure to really think long and hard if this is what you yourself wants, it won't always be easy catering for 2 peoples needs and will probably require more effort form you then anyone else to try and keep them both happy.
It is also irrelevant on how you feel about it being the other way round, by the sounds of it that isn't happening but just check with your husband that it isn't something he is seeking because if it is you might find yourself in a difficult position in the future.
"
I love my husband far far more than I do my fwb. My husband is my world and I will not risk my relationship with him for a fwb.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"how would you feel if it was the other way round your hubby and another woman and him feeling like you do about fb
If I’m completely honest, I think it would freak me out. My husband is far more open to this issue than I am to be honest. Which is a good thing for me, if he didn’t like the idea all contact would be cut with the fb.
I know I’m in a very very lucky place with how my husband has reacted.
But back to your question…I wouldn’t like it if my husband was in the same position as me, I know that’s hypocritical of me but if my husband get this way it would stop immediately x
Now that you have said that "it would stop immediately" are you 100% you have fallen in love with your FWB if you are willing to cut ties on your husbands say so then I'm not so sure, it might be the start of something great but just be careful people aren't toys you can just pick up a drop when ever you want, I know if I was to ask my wife to ditch her BF she wouldn't be able to and thats how I know they are in love and I wouldn't ever ask of the either as it's not fair of me to do so.
Just be cristal clear with your hubby and FWB that there is a hierarchy going on and where each one of them stands on that, be sure to really think long and hard if this is what you yourself wants, it won't always be easy catering for 2 peoples needs and will probably require more effort form you then anyone else to try and keep them both happy.
It is also irrelevant on how you feel about it being the other way round, by the sounds of it that isn't happening but just check with your husband that it isn't something he is seeking because if it is you might find yourself in a difficult position in the future.
I love my husband far far more than I do my fwb. My husband is my world and I will not risk my relationship with him for a fwb.
"
Ok then, only you can decide whats best for you, it sounds like your husband is really understanding of the relationship, it also sounds like it would suit your FWB just as long as you have made it clear to him he is a secondary partner and that one day if push comes to shove he will be the one you will be cutting ties with, I personally don't see why it couldn't work. It really is down to you to make a decision if it's for you or not.
Either way I wish you all the best Nick x |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Whilst my opinion is probably not going to be popular, I've known enough women and heard enough stories about guys to hear the same things over and over.
There is a difference between love and lust. You are likely in love with the idea of good illicit sex on tap, you've got close to someone and love them as a friend, but have complicated it by sleeping with them. Good sex can often cloud judgement - there's no doubt it heightens the senses but in all, I doubt you are wholly in love with him.
I expect he loves you - though only as he's never had a long term buddy before and has forgotten the rules of 'engagement'. Currently he has no responsibilities to you, doesn't know you, doesn't live with you, doesn't feed, clothe, house or shoulder you, yet believes he loves you because you go out - come back and fuck. I don't think so.
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I would say your husband is like everyone said been great. I can understand where he is. Only danger is if lover started to wanting you to him self. As long as no secrets everyone talks about where they want it to lead to. Life too short to stop to stop seeing lover plus it could leave you bitter or husband bitter as he enjoys you Been happy.
In a nut shell husband happy your happy lover happy so stop over thinking be happy |
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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
From reading everything written so far, I would say as long as the three of you are open and honest and keep communicating, then that's the best thing you can do.
As others have said, current morals and conditioning state that a relationship should be two people together, excluding all others. Until not that long ago it was illegal for it to be anything other than one man and one woman.
If this situation works for you, then, keep talking, and go at the pace you're happy with.
May you continue to live your best life xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the advice. It’s husband here, hotwife is having her first meet up with her friend tomorrow night, after much talking and reassurance that I am fine with everything she has decided that she would like to continue to meet him. Full honest is agreed as we don’t want any nasty surprises further down the line. We trust each other without question and we are in this lifestyle to enjoy ourselves, and I get most enjoyment knowing my beautiful wife is enjoying herself and having fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice. It’s husband here, hotwife is having her first meet up with her friend tomorrow night, after much talking and reassurance that I am fine with everything she has decided that she would like to continue to meet him. Full honest is agreed as we don’t want any nasty surprises further down the line. We trust each other without question and we are in this lifestyle to enjoy ourselves, and I get most enjoyment knowing my beautiful wife is enjoying herself and having fun."
Nice to hear from you, you sound like a great guy and it sounds like you have a good thing going, I wish all 3 of you all the best. Nick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice. It’s husband here, hotwife is having her first meet up with her friend tomorrow night, after much talking and reassurance that I am fine with everything she has decided that she would like to continue to meet him. Full honest is agreed as we don’t want any nasty surprises further down the line. We trust each other without question and we are in this lifestyle to enjoy ourselves, and I get most enjoyment knowing my beautiful wife is enjoying herself and having fun.
Nice to hear from you, you sound like a great guy and it sounds like you have a good thing going, I wish all 3 of you all the best. Nick"
Thanks.
Hotwife told me she posted on here as felt little conflicted. But having received numerous messages and posts she seemed to relax a little about it and not be so guilt ridden or up tight about it. Hopefully she will embrace the fact she has such freedom. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hotwife here…
We met up with my lover while out dogging. Had a play and it was very intense for me, I have never orgasmed as hard ever. I felt so naughty having a man I’ve developed feeling fuck me so intimately as I held my husband hand and caressed his cock. It was a naughty horny sensual hour, my husband didn’t attempt to join in at all, when I questioned him after the meet he said he wanted me to concentrate on my lover and enjoy myself.
Me and my husband stopped off at a secluded car park on the way hom, and had the most amazing sec ever, I won’t lie a d say the orgasm was better but the sex was so intense, so horny and passionate, I have never wanted my husband more than I did right then, I was begging him not to cum so we could keep on going!!!
I think if things stay as they are I am bathe luckiest woman alive xx |
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I think it’s fantastic that the 3 of you can have this openness and it shows that because of this, your relationship and sex have improved.
If you are all happy and all comfortable with the situation and all open and honest with each other then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else fits.
The thing about this lifestyle is that it’s opened my eyes to everyone having different dynamics and it’s wonderful to see.
If it works and it feels right then go for it 
K |
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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago
East of Eden, West of Hell |
"I think it’s fantastic that the 3 of you can have this openness and it shows that because of this, your relationship and sex have improved.
If you are all happy and all comfortable with the situation and all open and honest with each other then it really doesn’t matter what anyone else fits.
The thing about this lifestyle is that it’s opened my eyes to everyone having different dynamics and it’s wonderful to see.
If it works and it feels right then go for it
K"
Absolutely love this |
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"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both."
I was of the understanding that a polyamory dynamic is inly that if all party's are in the relationship? It sounds very much like it's just the female who is in love with both men and both love her but the men are not in any way attached..forgive me if I'm wrong but that's certainly how it's portraid! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both.
I was of the understanding that a polyamory dynamic is inly that if all party's are in the relationship? It sounds very much like it's just the female who is in love with both men and both love her but the men are not in any way attached..forgive me if I'm wrong but that's certainly how it's portraid! "
Polyamorous relationships can take many different forms. Not everyone has to be involved with each other. As in the case of the OP both men know each other but only in a relationship with the woman.
Be open and honest with each other and communicate. It can work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s going to end in tears."
To some the thought might be scary but in reality Poly relationships can work out really well and be as successful if not more so then monogamous relationships,
I thought just the same as you did when I first ended up in a Poly relationship I thought it would all end up in tears but now here I am as happy as I've ever been. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both.
I was of the understanding that a polyamory dynamic is inly that if all party's are in the relationship? It sounds very much like it's just the female who is in love with both men and both love her but the men are not in any way attached..forgive me if I'm wrong but that's certainly how it's portraid!
Polyamorous relationships can take many different forms. Not everyone has to be involved with each other. As in the case of the OP both men know each other but only in a relationship with the woman.
Be open and honest with each other and communicate. It can work. "
I think it's known as a 'polyamorous v' relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a deeper conversation about the nature of your marriage is needed.
That's not a bad thing.
To me it seems like you're just starting to discover polyamory. My suggestion is to research this with your husband and then talk through any bits that stand out to you both.
I was of the understanding that a polyamory dynamic is inly that if all party's are in the relationship? It sounds very much like it's just the female who is in love with both men and both love her but the men are not in any way attached..forgive me if I'm wrong but that's certainly how it's portraid!
Polyamorous relationships can take many different forms. Not everyone has to be involved with each other. As in the case of the OP both men know each other but only in a relationship with the woman.
Be open and honest with each other and communicate. It can work.
I think it's known as a 'polyamorous v' relationship"
It is indeed but with a hierarchy where OP has a primary and nesting partner (husband) and the lover is her secondary partner |
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
We assume you still love your husband and want to stay with him ?. We have always agreed that we and our relationship is always No1 and if any risk presents itself, that the other relationship may have to end. Yes we've heard horror stories also of others in turmoil, relationships breaking up etc... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We assume you still love your husband and want to stay with him ?. We have always agreed that we and our relationship is always No1 and if any risk presents itself, that the other relationship may have to end. Yes we've heard horror stories also of others in turmoil, relationships breaking up etc..."
100%.. If my husband was not happy with this, it would stop. My husband is my rock, me best friend, I love him more than ever for actually allowing me to carry on and giving me the freedom I have sexually. |
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I'm a firm believer that more people wouldn't be ethically non-monogamous if we didn't live in a society that has been so heavily influenced by religion and capitalism. It is possible to love more than one person. We see that with our family's and friends, why is it suddenly different when sex or romance are involved?
These expectations of "the one" being able to satisfy all needs is a very heavy burden. Too many couples don't know how healthily communicate their needs too, then it often ends up being anger or bitterness. As long as you are all on the same page and continuing being honest and open, then enjoy every moment of each relationship for what each brings to your life. |
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"I'm a firm believer that more people WOULD be ethically non-monogamous if we didn't live in a society that has been so heavily influenced by religion and capitalism. "
I need to re-read before posting. That was meant to say would.
Recommend checking out The Attachment Project to learn more about the ways we form our relationships and connections with others. They have a good information page that specifically talks about ENM.
Also can find loads of books out there like "The Ethical Slut" and "More Than Two". |
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Keep thinking about more to add but could spend hours on the subject, so just a few more quick general points ...
Love is not pie, giving love to one person doesn't reduce the love that is available for others.
Remember that not understanding the way another person thinks or feels, doesn't mean it's wrong.
Love is not a trophy to earn. People are not possessions to own. Love and people shouldn't be treated as transactions or like something is owed in return.
Jealousy and trust issues can happen to anyone and everyone. The only people who can control those emotions we feel are ourselves. The best way to work through them is through honesty and open communication. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dangerous ground end it now or it will develop further. There should be a difference between love and sex dont mix the two try another man for a bit see how it goes xxx"
If only things were as black and white as that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unbeknown to me(MsFox)it's actually possible to fall in love with more than just one man and on different levels, this seriously fucks with your brain when it happens, however, the key is honesty with all involved. Main thing for you is that you are happy, the heart wants what the heart wants. Good luck with it all...Ms Fox(not answering for Mr Hound) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a little update,
Hotwife had her first solo meet with her lover tonight, she was nervous and apprehensive about going. I reassured her it was ok. She left and spent an uninterrupted 2-3 hours with him and come home so so horny, she was glowing, she looked so sexy!!
She came in kissed me, told me she loved me and thanked me. She said she had an amazing time. We had amazing intense sex.
She is going again on Monday for what will hopefully be a much longer session.
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
Who decided in the world that you have to love just one person at a time. Your relationship sounds very much like the beginnings of a Polyamory thrupple.
You love two people they love you. As long as everyone is happy with construct and you all communicate freely and openly between each other, then you can all co-exist with each other.
This is an exciting time for you all.
Do not let the pre-conditioning of society spoil this special moment between the three of you.
I would definitely look to expand your knowledge on multi partner relationships, poly dynamics and communicate boundaries with your partners.
For it to work, there can be no jealously only good solid communication at all levels.
 |
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"It’s happened a few times but I am single so it wasn’t a problem. He should of kept he’s feeling in check.
Does that go for me as well?? Should I have kept my feelings in check??
Or is it only right that I am honest with my husband about how I feel?"
Its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
I think you have found great intimacy with your FWB, a surprise perhaps, but thats the magical ingredient that makes it so special. Most swingers avoid intimacy, preferring just sex. So, you get the swingers bias in the responses here. Never walk away from love. Life would be so dull without it. |
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"A few people are suggesting, directly or indirectly, that the "feelings" the OP is experiencing are lust and not "real" love. Just to say that physical touch is a MASSIVE component to bonding in mammals. When you hold a baby and you feel love, do you wonder, I've only just met this person, what's its achievements, is it a good & ethical person, what if I'm being misguided You may think my example is reductive but that's the base of things, it doesn't take that much to love.
If anything we should be asking why we DON'T have feelings for all the people we're rutting with; answer is cos we actively shut it down - as a few have also suggested the OP and lover should be doing. To look down on emerging feelings is bit like calling wildflowers and pulling them out. Which is exactly what you should be doing if you want a manicured garden! But not necessarily what is natural, or what everyone prefers."
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I think it’s nice and normal , I mean if you didn’t have feelings you probably would have stopped by now ?
You don’t need to deny or fear feelings. Just as long as you are all honest & don’t start thinking of leaving or replacing the love for your husband with this lust-love. No one will leave someone if they are happy just because something different comes along, they would fix the problem if any.
People that leave people for other people are the worst people imo, they never stop doing this it’s a pattern / defect.
Love mean lots of things. It’s a silly word, I love my job, my kids, cheesecake , my ex. |
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
As long as you continue to look forward to going home to hubby, and not only think about your lover, carry on with such a great threeway friendship  |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
You shouldn’t feel guilty about having better orgasms with your lover. I genuinely want my partners to have the greatest sex with or without me.
Swingers who’s partners still give them the best orgasms are just not trying hard enough or meeting enough people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You shouldn’t feel guilty about having better orgasms with your lover. I genuinely want my partners to have the greatest sex with or without me.
Swingers who’s partners still give them the best orgasms are just not trying hard enough or meeting enough people "
No matter what it is or how good you are at it, there will always be someone somewhere that can do it better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have been open and honest with your husband. Maybe you dudbt want to admit your feelings but your husband caught on. He seems comfortable so I wouldn't worry too much. I think if you stopped being open and honest about the situation that would be what caused the issues. For now just go with it and see how it pans out. I would try and think how you would feel if it was reversed and your husband fell in love with someone else? If you absolutely couldn't cope with that then I would communicate that just so everyone is aware. You never know maybe poly is the way forward for you guys.
Good luck to you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You refer to the dude that isn't your husband as your lover.
Probs consider counselling if you want your marriage to survive. Husband's happy and supportive, sounds like a cuck.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You refer to the dude that isn't your husband as your lover.
Probs consider counselling if you want your marriage to survive. Husband's happy and supportive, sounds like a cuck.
"
Being a cuck has nothing to do with it, he is just someone that can comprehend the fact that people can love more than one person and is secure enough in his and is wifes relationship to know that this can actually be a good thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You refer to the dude that isn't your husband as your lover.
Probs consider counselling if you want your marriage to survive. Husband's happy and supportive, sounds like a cuck.
"
Absolutely not. Being open to loving more than one person doesn’t make a man (or woman) a cuck. That is redpill talk. Hopefully anyone considering meeting you will check your forum messages and realise you have a very narrow pov. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You refer to the dude that isn't your husband as your lover.
Probs consider counselling if you want your marriage to survive. Husband's happy and supportive, sounds like a cuck.
Being a cuck has nothing to do with it, he is just someone that can comprehend the fact that people can love more than one person and is secure enough in his and is wifes relationship to know that this can actually be a good thing. "
And also after reading this hole thread there is not one thing that suggests that they need any type of counselling infact it reads they are an extremely happy couple that are open to exploring things out of societies norm,
But if they did ever feel the need for counselling, I'd strongly suggest searching out a polyamory friendly therapist |
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
Take a look on Facebook for a group called Relationships outside the box: polyamory and open relationships. Ask in there (with slightly more moderate language so you don’t get Zucc’d  ) and you’ll find people very helpful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You refer to the dude that isn't your husband as your lover.
Probs consider counselling if you want your marriage to survive. Husband's happy and supportive, sounds like a cuck.
"
Why am I a Cuck?? Because I understand that having sex with someone regular is more than just a physical thing?? Me and my wife love each other. More than anything, I trust her implicitly.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Falling in love with the fuck buddy .... about time you severe ties with this guy .. block his nu and get a new buddy ..  "
Why would I want my wife to sever ties with someone she loves meeting with??
You’re ok letting your wife fuck guys as long as their is no other connection with them??
We have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of very insecure and jealous swingers that simply could not allow their partner to develop any kind of emotional connection with anyone else over the the fear of them leaving.
I personally find this strange. You will swap partners. Many guys like to see their woman take on multiple guys. Get fucked all over, used like a slut. But if the woman develops any emotional attachment it’s wrong.
We don’t swing because I like to see my wife get fucked and she doesn’t do it just to allow me to watch her do it. We do it because we enjoy it, we do it because it works for us, we don’t do jealous, we know someone along the line will be bigger, fuck her deeper and harder, we know someone will suck my better and make me cum harder, if you don’t understand that, swinging isn’t for you, swinging isn’t about putting a show on for your partner, it’s about being comfortable and confident enough and secure enough to go and actually enjoy yourself when your doing what you do.
Thankfully I love seeing my wife with other guys. I don’t always want to see her take the slut role on and be a cock monster like in porn, sometimes it’s nice, it’s different. I like to see her with younger guys, they make her cum hard. I like to see her submit to the guys she submits with as she does it cause it turns her on.
I love seeing her with her lover, it’s intense, she orgasms differently, I can see her reactions are different with him than to any other man we have played with. Why why why would I not want her to experience that?? My own insecurities?? I have none at all regarding this.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"its not a case of jealousy with people at all .All people are giving their opinions some good some bad if you dont like some of the comments why put a post up"
So we have to listen to everyone’s opinion and not give our own???
Makes sense! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are going to understand it some people aren't, just like some people in monogamous relationships will although not want to do it themselves will understand it and others be completely against it,
It's hard at times to take others criticism especially when your passionate about your own thoughts and feelings about the subject,
I can completely relate to this subject and some of the comments against it got me having to bite my tongue, but then I just take a minute let it go and realise how good I actually have it and move on.
Everyone does things definitely and has different opinions about things you just have to try and stay true to yourself and do what makes you happy regardless of what others may think of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its not a case of jealousy with people at all .All people are giving their opinions some good some bad if you dont like some of the comments why put a post up"
An opinion would be “I don’t think this is a good idea”. Telling someone they sound like a “cuck” (with a very obvious negative/redpill attitude) isn’t expressing an opinion, it’s stating something as fact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose its each to their own, if we were in your shoes then we'd end it straight away and cease contact with him, but that's us. If you 2 are happy with the situation and the 3rd person is happy then crack on, but keep a close eye on these feelings incase they continue to grow stronger to the point that someone is going to be left completely heartbroken by it all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I suppose its each to their own, if we were in your shoes then we'd end it straight away and cease contact with him, but that's us. If you 2 are happy with the situation and the 3rd person is happy then crack on, but keep a close eye on these feelings incase they continue to grow stronger to the point that someone is going to be left completely heartbroken by it all"
We get this completely.
And hotwife and him have had a chat about this. He has no intention of settling down. He loves the single life and no commitments, he also loves the intimacy they share. Hotwife feels safe knowing neither of them want anything more than what they are doing.
We are well aware that the more they meet the more the feelings will grow. But we will talk about this and decide what way we go with things.
But as it stands they are very intimate and loving fuck buddies who are enjoying what is going on. And I am more than happy with it all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose its each to their own, if we were in your shoes then we'd end it straight away and cease contact with him, but that's us. If you 2 are happy with the situation and the 3rd person is happy then crack on, but keep a close eye on these feelings incase they continue to grow stronger to the point that someone is going to be left completely heartbroken by it all
We get this completely.
And hotwife and him have had a chat about this. He has no intention of settling down. He loves the single life and no commitments, he also loves the intimacy they share. Hotwife feels safe knowing neither of them want anything more than what they are doing.
We are well aware that the more they meet the more the feelings will grow. But we will talk about this and decide what way we go with things.
But as it stands they are very intimate and loving fuck buddies who are enjoying what is going on. And I am more than happy with it all."
Definitely sounds like you've got it all under control and you're talking about everything so if you're all all happy then happy days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose its each to their own, if we were in your shoes then we'd end it straight away and cease contact with him, but that's us. If you 2 are happy with the situation and the 3rd person is happy then crack on, but keep a close eye on these feelings incase they continue to grow stronger to the point that someone is going to be left completely heartbroken by it all
We get this completely.
And hotwife and him have had a chat about this. He has no intention of settling down. He loves the single life and no commitments, he also loves the intimacy they share. Hotwife feels safe knowing neither of them want anything more than what they are doing.
We are well aware that the more they meet the more the feelings will grow. But we will talk about this and decide what way we go with things.
But as it stands they are very intimate and loving fuck buddies who are enjoying what is going on. And I am more than happy with it all.
Definitely sounds like you've got it all under control and you're talking about everything so if you're all all happy then happy days "
With Love, emotional attachment,and 3 people involved eventually this will not end well for one or all of you..At the end of the day, what started as a bit of fun is now turning into something that could very quickly become out of control,and from what you have said its nearly at that point..
Tread very very carefully, as this has the potential to ruin the lives you currently have.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose its each to their own, if we were in your shoes then we'd end it straight away and cease contact with him, but that's us. If you 2 are happy with the situation and the 3rd person is happy then crack on, but keep a close eye on these feelings incase they continue to grow stronger to the point that someone is going to be left completely heartbroken by it all
We get this completely.
And hotwife and him have had a chat about this. He has no intention of settling down. He loves the single life and no commitments, he also loves the intimacy they share. Hotwife feels safe knowing neither of them want anything more than what they are doing.
We are well aware that the more they meet the more the feelings will grow. But we will talk about this and decide what way we go with things.
But as it stands they are very intimate and loving fuck buddies who are enjoying what is going on. And I am more than happy with it all.
Definitely sounds like you've got it all under control and you're talking about everything so if you're all all happy then happy days
With Love, emotional attachment,and 3 people involved eventually this will not end well for one or all of you..At the end of the day, what started as a bit of fun is now turning into something that could very quickly become out of control,and from what you have said its nearly at that point..
Tread very very carefully, as this has the potential to ruin the lives you currently have.."
Sorry do you have a crystal ball looking into the future or something, I can't see how you can just assume it's not going to end well for one of them, yes it might go wrong but its just as likely to work and there are plenty of people in long successful Poly relationships to show that it can work, just because it's going against what society has taught us all, doesn't mean its wrong
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"... he responded saying he loves me, .... My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us ..."
I feel deep affection going to love for ladies I have met as part of MFMF's. Very like them as a person.
My sense is that's fine.
There seems to be some received opinion that the world must stop turning on its axis if that happens. It doesn't...
Private repeat arrangements can be intense.
Yes for sure there are folk you meet repeatedly at spas, etc., where it's just sex with someone you like meeting there but no way are you otherwise compatible.
Taking the contrasting case - for some of us, everything is less intense and sort-of deflated if you don't accept these feelings. The question might be - could you "make love" to someone other than your spouse and the world still keeps going around just fine? I think so, but I wish as a group we had gone further into that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m glad you are enjoying the lifestyle, of course all people are different same as their opinions. Personally for me there is “the red line” I would not cross, you can be friends, having a great time in and out of the bedroom , but I know where is the stop button needed.
Don’t you think your husband feels different inside?
And saying what you want to hear? Or is not in love with and waiting for your lover to take you over?
Just my thoughts, how many people- so many opinions. Have a fab time !
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"We have been meeting a guy regular for many years now, I have met him alone while my husband has been away or working. The other month while I was sending him some naughty pics he responded saying he loves me, I get a bit taken a back by this. My husband has been telling me feeling would soon be involved between us with the way we have sex and the way we are together. After we had been to meet my fuck friend last night my husband didn’t get involved at all and just watched and waited until we was finished, this isn’t a new thing for him. When we got home he quizzed me about how I am with my lover, I admitted that I to am in love with my lover and I am guilt ridden by having feelings for another man apart from my husband. My husband has said he is fine with it as long as I am open and how’s my with him about it.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this. Am I on a slippery slope and should stop seeing my fuck friend, or as long as my husband is happy and I’m open and honest carry on as we are??
Thanks in advance for opinions xx"
This is one of the most interesting discussions ive seen here in a long time. And the full range of Fab opinions on display as well. Best of luck to the three of you OP, never walk away from love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
"
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid?"
Taking the OP’s feelings towards another aside… on your question of why they became swingers…. I’m guessing like many of us on here, thru became swingers because their marriage is so strong is probably why. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid?
Taking the OP’s feelings towards another aside… on your question of why they became swingers…. I’m guessing like many of us on here, thru became swingers because their marriage is so strong is probably why. "
*** they I meant not thru |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid?"
Imho people only should become swingers IF their marriage is solid. People doing any sort of non-monogamy from the base of an insecure relationship is a recipe for disaster. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How do you feel towards your husband ? Stil in love ?
Deeply. He is my soulmate and my rock and I couldn’t imagine being without him, this is why it hurt so much realising what had happened with this other man.
Our marriage is solid but this development was something I never ever expected and it’s thrown me a little.
My husband has been brilliant with me since this come out.
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid?"
Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
We got together at a young age, I was inexperienced and hotwife was a virgin. We experimented with each other and I Italy we used to play on webcam on msn and yahoo and we was pointed towards a swinger site. We joined to play on camera and chat with other horny people. It moved forward when we met a couple we had been chatting to. We was u sure it would work, but we loved it. And never looked back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Having read all that, something puzzles me, why did you become a swinger if your marriage is so solid?
Imho people only should become swingers IF their marriage is solid. People doing any sort of non-monogamy from the base of an insecure relationship is a recipe for disaster. "
We couldn’t agree more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?"
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger. "
Sorry I completely disagree that if someone is as you say very emotional that they shouldn't be a Swinger and infact I find people with more feelings tend to be a lot more suited to the lifestyle and get on far better then those that just want a quick fuck and be done with it.
secondly how do you even know if she is very emotional??? From what OP has said she has fallen for one other person other than her husband not everyone she has met with,
Anyone can fall in love with anyone at any time regardless of weather thay are swingers or not or in a monogamous relationship or a non monogamous relationship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger. "
We have met many many people swinging over the years and no emotional attachment has been there. The person in question we have met regular for approaching 10 years. They don’t meet for her to get fucked , they enjoy very intimate sensual sex with each other. Being emotionally closed to that probably isn’t normal to be fair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger.
Sorry I completely disagree that if someone is as you say very emotional that they shouldn't be a Swinger and infact I find people with more feelings tend to be a lot more suited to the lifestyle and get on far better then those that just want a quick fuck and be done with it.
secondly how do you even know if she is very emotional??? From what OP has said she has fallen for one other person other than her husband not everyone she has met with,
Anyone can fall in love with anyone at any time regardless of weather thay are swingers or not or in a monogamous relationship or a non monogamous relationship"
Well considering the OPs profile states that she never meets men alone, which she obviously is, just proves her heads in a mess, she needs to get off here and sort things out before her "marriage" turns to total shit...sounds like it's not far off that now. |
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I have been in love with two people since my first partner left me - all my partners since then I have been straight with and told them I still love him and will always love him. Doesn't mean I love my current partner any less because of that.
There is nothing wrong with loving and caring for more than one person at a time. B open and honest with everyone (including yourself) and talk! It's the lies and the secrets that cause the problems xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger.
Sorry I completely disagree that if someone is as you say very emotional that they shouldn't be a Swinger and infact I find people with more feelings tend to be a lot more suited to the lifestyle and get on far better then those that just want a quick fuck and be done with it.
secondly how do you even know if she is very emotional??? From what OP has said she has fallen for one other person other than her husband not everyone she has met with,
Anyone can fall in love with anyone at any time regardless of weather thay are swingers or not or in a monogamous relationship or a non monogamous relationship
Well considering the OPs profile states that she never meets men alone, which she obviously is, just proves her heads in a mess, she needs to get off here and sort things out before her "marriage" turns to total shit...sounds like it's not far off that now."
She doesn’t meet guys alone.
Her lover is not a random guy.
We have been together 25 years. Married for 18
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger.
Sorry I completely disagree that if someone is as you say very emotional that they shouldn't be a Swinger and infact I find people with more feelings tend to be a lot more suited to the lifestyle and get on far better then those that just want a quick fuck and be done with it.
secondly how do you even know if she is very emotional??? From what OP has said she has fallen for one other person other than her husband not everyone she has met with,
Anyone can fall in love with anyone at any time regardless of weather thay are swingers or not or in a monogamous relationship or a non monogamous relationship
Well considering the OPs profile states that she never meets men alone, which she obviously is, just proves her heads in a mess, she needs to get off here and sort things out before her "marriage" turns to total shit...sounds like it's not far off that now."
I'm sorry are you reading another thread and then coming here to reply? Not one thing Is indicating that there marriage is about to go to shit,
With an open mind go off and research polyamory, you might then see that it is more then feasible to love more than one person at a time and that it is more than ok to do so |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dangerous ground end it now or it will develop further. There should be a difference between love and sex dont mix the two try another man for a bit see how it goes xxx
I have had sex with other men.
Only my husband and this other man make love to me when we have sex, it’s very very intimate and that’s the appeal to it."
Make love  .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake .. |
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"Do you think couples that swing are at breaking point?? Or their marriage is weak?
No, I didn't say that. What the OP has proven is that most people have emotions, and fucking someone is a very emotional experience...she shouldn't be swinging if she can't handle that.
Then there are people who are devoid of emotion, perfect for being a swinger.
Sorry I completely disagree that if someone is as you say very emotional that they shouldn't be a Swinger and infact I find people with more feelings tend to be a lot more suited to the lifestyle and get on far better then those that just want a quick fuck and be done with it.
secondly how do you even know if she is very emotional??? From what OP has said she has fallen for one other person other than her husband not everyone she has met with,
Anyone can fall in love with anyone at any time regardless of weather thay are swingers or not or in a monogamous relationship or a non monogamous relationship
Well considering the OPs profile states that she never meets men alone, which she obviously is, just proves her heads in a mess, she needs to get off here and sort things out before her "marriage" turns to total shit...sounds like it's not far off that now."
One of the biggest jump to conclusions I've ever seen. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Dangerous ground end it now or it will develop further. There should be a difference between love and sex dont mix the two try another man for a bit see how it goes xxx
I have had sex with other men.
Only my husband and this other man make love to me when we have sex, it’s very very intimate and that’s the appeal to it.
Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake .. "
Can we ask why you think this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see it as long as you are both open about were u meet different people and you both love each other so that you wouldn't dump each other for some one else then I don't see were the problem is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake .. "
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by? |
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Sometimes once people get passed all the judgy stuff. These threads can be an insightful and possibly helpful discussion and people can learn... Or... Just judging complete strangers who don't seem to have the time to think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?"
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different ."
This seems to be the general reaction but whenever we delve deeper d to why you feel this way no one can clearly elaborate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different .
This seems to be the general reaction but whenever we delve deeper d to why you feel this way no one can clearly elaborate "
I suppose it depends what you want, I think most couples, well i can only speak for us, come into this looking for some fun but based around us as a couple, weather adding a 3rd or Mrs being naughty on her own and telling me all the details later, we definitely aren't looking for her to fall in love with someone else or have someone else make love to her, as her husband that's only my job to do that.
But I'm sure plenty will disagree with that and want the husband-wife-boyfriend dynamic, and if that's what you want then it's fine, you'll get couples that agree with it and couples that don't but only you know if it's right for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different ."
Oh ok, is there an emotions on and off switch you operate to differentiate?  |
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different .
Oh ok, is there an emotions on and off switch you operate to differentiate? "
Whip it in, whip it out 'n' wipe it.. Next. Isn't that the way everyone rolls? |
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"Whilst my opinion is probably not going to be popular, I've known enough women and heard enough stories about guys to hear the same things over and over.
There is a difference between love and lust. You are likely in love with the idea of good illicit sex on tap, you've got close to someone and love them as a friend, but have complicated it by sleeping with them. Good sex can often cloud judgement - there's no doubt it heightens the senses but in all, I doubt you are wholly in love with him.
I expect he loves you - though only as he's never had a long term buddy before and has forgotten the rules of 'engagement'. Currently he has no responsibilities to you, doesn't know you, doesn't live with you, doesn't feed, clothe, house or shoulder you, yet believes he loves you because you go out - come back and fuck. I don't think so.
"
When were the rules written that love must include domestic drudgery?
There are plenty of couples in love that don’t live together or have to be responsible for clothing each other
Domestic commitment is not a measure of emotion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Make love .... seriously .. dump him n give ya head a shake ..
A question for the OP...What's the difference between being made love to and being fucked by?
In my opinion live making should be between two people who are in a relationship n not with your fuvk buddy from fab. .. that's my opinion .. you may think different .
This seems to be the general reaction but whenever we delve deeper d to why you feel this way no one can clearly elaborate
I suppose it depends what you want, I think most couples, well i can only speak for us, come into this looking for some fun but based around us as a couple, weather adding a 3rd or Mrs being naughty on her own and telling me all the details later, we definitely aren't looking for her to fall in love with someone else or have someone else make love to her, as her husband that's only my job to do that.
But I'm sure plenty will disagree with that and want the husband-wife-boyfriend dynamic, and if that's what you want then it's fine, you'll get couples that agree with it and couples that don't but only you know if it's right for you "
We never set out for what has happened, we was much like yourselves, this situation just naturally happened and hasn’t been pushed or forced. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op how would your wife feel if you developed an emotional attachment for a woman on here and was meeting her regularly?? "
The op is a woman...maybe she has a wife |
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Completely happened to me with a regular female friend. We met once a week for several years while both having partners at home. It was always about swinging without attachment but sometimes you just meet someone who is just that person. |
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