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Volume 5: Wonky-brain neurodivergent perverts club
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 absolutely loving the new thread header! | |||
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"Club rules are: 1. No unscheduled visits or phone calls 2. No flourescent lights or crap background radio 3. Directness and honesty are encouraged 4. Hints, hidden messages and insincerity are illegal and WILL be prosecuted 5. Leave your masks at the cloakroom " Hah perfect x | |||
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 loving the thread title! Spot on I reckon ha | |||
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"Is that all of us, then?" Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion!" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious." For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here  Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks). | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks)."I am generally hypo sexual just don't have an outlet 
In a prior relationship could have sex several times in a day , even if I only came 3 times the rat of the day would be just enjoying the sensations | |||
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"Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck." That's me (Jack) to a T. Tea? Tee? I'm guessing it's tee and something to do with golf. To be fair, I think I'm like that with almost everything though. I work too hard, or I'm lazy AF. I drink too much, or I'm tea-total. I don't stop talking, or I'm super quiet. When it comes to sex, it has caused problems in past relationships because my partner may have thought I've gone off them because I was previously hyper-sexual and kinky and now I just want to read. | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks)."Yep, that would be me. Although I've had a couple of hypomanic episodes in the past and hypersexuality is a very common symptom. AD's have messed about with my sex drive in recent years so I don't really know what's me and what's the drugs. Nell | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks)."I've had long periods where I had no interest at all, I'm talking a year plus. I've also had periods where I couldn't get enough with an old partner, we could easily have 6 hour sessions with fag breaks and would still want more. The past 2 years nothing again but I know how much I love sex! So if it's on offer I'm taking it, luckily it doesn't take much to get me going with the Mr 
Unfortunately us neurodivergent ladies don't have an easy time as the hormones start tailing off and we head towards and go through menopause! NT ladies think they have it bad but apparently generally it's a lot harder for us. Enjoy while you can ladies! | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks).
I've had long periods where I had no interest at all, I'm talking a year plus. I've also had periods where I couldn't get enough with an old partner, we could easily have 6 hour sessions with fag breaks and would still want more. The past 2 years nothing again but I know how much I love sex! So if it's on offer I'm taking it, luckily it doesn't take much to get me going with the Mr
Unfortunately us neurodivergent ladies don't have an easy time as the hormones start tailing off and we head towards and go through menopause! NT ladies think they have it bad but apparently generally it's a lot harder for us. Enjoy while you can ladies!"Oh, bloody hell. I wasn't aware of this!  | |||
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"Checking in, hope I’m not too late " Yep ... registration closed half an hour before you arrived ... Of course I kid " a neurodivergent is never late they arrive exactly when they expect to arrive" | |||
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"Oooh, an ND club?! Yaaaaay!! Hello fellow wonky-brained perverts! Its good to see you all here
"Looks at profile  looks at your pictures ...oh wow you look amazing | |||
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Could do without the crippling anxiety, but hey ho!
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious." This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW "Following thread and yes the more I read / research/ listen to people in give field the more I think….. yep I do see things differently | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW "I had a slightly different journey, in that I was diagnosed first. Then it twigged that my eldest son was on the spectrum after years of researching for myself. Looking back I feel daft not realising he was autistic sooner! The my mum got her diagnosis aged 64... My dad is most definitely on the spectrum too, but doesn't realise and I'm not going to argue the point if he's not interested in exploring it. My siblings are all undiagnosed ND too, so my benchmark for what is typical and what isn't was skewed as growing up my whole household was wonky brained | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW
I had a slightly different journey, in that I was diagnosed first. Then it twigged that my eldest son was on the spectrum after years of researching for myself. Looking back I feel daft not realising he was autistic sooner! The my mum got her diagnosis aged 64... My dad is most definitely on the spectrum too, but doesn't realise and I'm not going to argue the point if he's not interested in exploring it. My siblings are all undiagnosed ND too, so my benchmark for what is typical and what isn't was skewed as growing up my whole household was wonky brained "To top it off if you're seeking diagnosis as an adult the health professionals will ask why your family members didn't notice your differences erm I wonder why! It's like pissin in the wind at times. | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks).
I've had long periods where I had no interest at all, I'm talking a year plus. I've also had periods where I couldn't get enough with an old partner, we could easily have 6 hour sessions with fag breaks and would still want more. The past 2 years nothing again but I know how much I love sex! So if it's on offer I'm taking it, luckily it doesn't take much to get me going with the Mr
Unfortunately us neurodivergent ladies don't have an easy time as the hormones start tailing off and we head towards and go through menopause! NT ladies think they have it bad but apparently generally it's a lot harder for us. Enjoy while you can ladies!
Oh, bloody hell. I wasn't aware of this! "Yeah there's a fair amount of info around, some is anecdotal but let's face it there's hardly enough research into neurodivergence as it is. Off the top of my head the autistic society have info on this. For ADHD there's CHADD, ADDitude magazine and balance the Louise Newson website/ app has a really good piece that I'd recommend. | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW
I had a slightly different journey, in that I was diagnosed first. Then it twigged that my eldest son was on the spectrum after years of researching for myself. Looking back I feel daft not realising he was autistic sooner! The my mum got her diagnosis aged 64... My dad is most definitely on the spectrum too, but doesn't realise and I'm not going to argue the point if he's not interested in exploring it. My siblings are all undiagnosed ND too, so my benchmark for what is typical and what isn't was skewed as growing up my whole household was wonky brained
To top it off if you're seeking diagnosis as an adult the health professionals will ask why your family members didn't notice your differences erm I wonder why! It's like pissin in the wind at times. "One of the reasons that while I'm on a waiting list for formal diagnosis I'm not overly bothered about a formal diagnosis is this part of the process. I have minimal contact with anyone that knew me then, I've been estranged from my family for years, my dad's now dead but was clearly ND and I suspect my brother is. If I asked my mother to provide evidence she'd probably say I was the sane as the both of them!!! | |||
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And I genuinely fear Rock Astley could be the thing that tips me in to sensory overload! | |||
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"so my benchmark for what is typical and what isn't was skewed as growing up my whole household was wonky brained "Saaaaame My journey has helped my Mum and my brother understand themselves and also is helping us support the next generation. I'm sure all three of my niblings are ND. | |||
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I wish responses on here were a little more practical to make | |||
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"I've got my running headphones but forgot my noise cancelling ones that I wear before hand" Good luck with the run! Highly recommend Loop earplugs as an easily portable option for sound overwhelm. They come with a cute little case so I have a couple of pairs permanently attached to bags. Just realised I could/should put a set on my keys too  It helps just always having them handy.
P.s. Rick Astley is the worst way to start a race
P.p.s. What on earth was happening in your picture from Feb 14th?! I'm so intrigued! 
P.p.p.s. I also use lots and lots of words haha | |||
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"Is that all of us, then? Nooooooo! Have you seen the other threads? We are legion! There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. This was us! Completely oblivious until we were seeking help for our kids at CAMHS
The lovely Physiologist we were spending an awful lot of time with as a family gently pointed it out to us, but it wasn't exactly a shock after all the research we had done on ASD and ADHD by that point.
Love the new group name BTW
I had a slightly different journey, in that I was diagnosed first. Then it twigged that my eldest son was on the spectrum after years of researching for myself. Looking back I feel daft not realising he was autistic sooner! The my mum got her diagnosis aged 64... My dad is most definitely on the spectrum too, but doesn't realise and I'm not going to argue the point if he's not interested in exploring it. My siblings are all undiagnosed ND too, so my benchmark for what is typical and what isn't was skewed as growing up my whole household was wonky brained
To top it off if you're seeking diagnosis as an adult the health professionals will ask why your family members didn't notice your differences erm I wonder why! It's like pissin in the wind at times.
One of the reasons that while I'm on a waiting list for formal diagnosis I'm not overly bothered about a formal diagnosis is this part of the process. I have minimal contact with anyone that knew me then, I've been estranged from my family for years, my dad's now dead but was clearly ND and I suspect my brother is. If I asked my mother to provide evidence she'd probably say I was the sane as the both of them!!!"Mr KC's family refused to be involved with his diagnosis and rejected it, but it didn't stop the diagnosis from taking place. | |||
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"Anyway first world problems, I'm running a half marathon this morning, I've got my running headphones but forgot my noise cancelling ones that I wear before hand. There's lots of sensory issues going on but worst of all the PA is playing Rick fucking Astley And I genuinely fear Rock Astley could be the thing that tips me in to sensory overload!"I looked up Rick Astley. It came up with 'Never gonna give you up'. I realised, then, why he is not someone whose work I listening out for. My sympathies! At least I have found out who sings that song. It is almost as awful as "Izzurn't She Lurrvlee" which has to be the all time piece of mediocrity written to accompany what appears to be a melody box on auto mode. One or other of these songs seems invariably to be what I hear if I foolishly tune into any of the abundance of 'playlist' stations. I keep forgetting I have some noise cancelling headphones. Must remember to wear them if I foolishly venture into certain shops. Top of my hit list for 'effing irritating music is M######ns. Mainly trite R and B (I think it's called) stuff. Someone please tell them that vocal music demands particular brain usage which instrumental music doesn't so much. Too loud as well as totally pointless and distracting. | |||
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"It is almost as awful as "Izzurn't She Lurrvlee" which has to be the all time piece of mediocrity written to accompany what appears to be a melody box on auto mode." Am I tripping, or did you just compare Rick Astley and Stevie Wonder?! I think I'm going to have a meltdown. 'Isnt She Lovely' is about his newborn daughter. And is a truly beautiful song from a living legend. I don't have enough meds for this!  | |||
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"Mr KC's family refused to be involved with his diagnosis and rejected it, but it didn't stop the diagnosis from taking place. " My parents were abusive, so were never getting anywhere near my diagnostic assessments. It was not a hindrance. | |||
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"Mr KC's family refused to be involved with his diagnosis and rejected it, but it didn't stop the diagnosis from taking place. My parents were abusive, so were never getting anywhere near my diagnostic assessments. It was not a hindrance. " Same here. I just said it wasn't appropriate for any family members to be involved. | |||
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"... 'Isnt She Lovely' is about his newborn daughter. And is a truly beautiful song from a living legend. I don't have enough meds for this! "Exactly. That's why I always question why Stevie Wonder came out with such a mediocre quick fix offering at the time. Buh buh bubuh budum! Far too down market for a discerning Aspie like me. | |||
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Love the thread title. Pretty bang on. | |||
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"...'Isnt She Lovely' is about his newborn daughter. And is a truly beautiful song from a living legend. I don't have enough meds for this!
Exactly. That's why I always question why Stevie Wonder came out with such a mediocre quick fix offering at the time. Buh buh bubuh budum!
Far too down market for a discerning Aspie like me."Okay, I'm gonna allow that as a good save! | |||
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"...'Isnt She Lovely' is about his newborn daughter. And is a truly beautiful song from a living legend. I don't have enough meds for this!
Exactly. That's why I always question why Stevie Wonder came out with such a mediocre quick fix offering at the time. Buh buh bubuh budum!
Far too down market for a discerning Aspie like me.
Okay, I'm gonna allow that as a good save! "I have to say that he did a much better job of the song he wrote about me! | |||
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"I'm just going to hover quietly and awkwardly in the corner if that's ok? Not diagnosed with anything, despite struggling since I was a child, but since hitting 40 and meeting people from outside my small-town bubble... I've been having so many light-bulb moments!!" Would you like to share your light bulb moment? | |||
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"Just checking into the clinic, didn't know we had one here "Your nurse will be along shortly. | |||
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"I have to say that he did a much better job of the song he wrote about me!" Which was? | |||
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"I have to say that he did a much better job of the song he wrote about me! Which was? " He's Mr Know it All | |||
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"Oh wait I said hypo ? Dunno what that even means ... but basically I have a very high sex drive and want to have it often or at least sexual contact a lot" Hypo means low Hyper means high. | |||
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"I have to say that he did a much better job of the song he wrote about me! Which was? He's Mr Know it All" | |||
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"Morning gang! Hope everyone has a good week "Morning! Yes, let’s try to have the best week possible! Likely a club trip (Silverleigh) on Saturday so chance to be naked and free! X | |||
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"Morning gang! Hope everyone has a good week
Morning! Yes, let’s try to have the best week possible!
Likely a club trip (Silverleigh) on Saturday so chance to be naked and free! X"Haha love that! That's the same as me, mother always said I should join a nudist community I love chams because we I get to wear as little as possible | |||
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"Just been for my mental health assessment. Mentioned my aspergers diagnosis from private therapist and was told I can be reassessed through NHS. 3-7 year waiting list! "My MH assessment was cancelled this morning! Big grump. 3-7 years?? That can't be real! | |||
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"Just been for my mental health assessment. Mentioned my aspergers diagnosis from private therapist and was told I can be reassessed through NHS. 3-7 year waiting list! "Jeez that's shocking. Whereabout are you? In England you can ask your Gp to refer you to a private provider through the right to choose pathway and it's still on the NHS. | |||
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"Just been for my mental health assessment. Mentioned my aspergers diagnosis from private therapist and was told I can be reassessed through NHS. 3-7 year waiting list!
Jeez that's shocking. Whereabout are you? In England you can ask your Gp to refer you to a private provider through the right to choose pathway and it's still on the NHS. "It's about a 6 month wait atm. | |||
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"Morning gang! Hope everyone has a good week
Morning! Yes, let’s try to have the best week possible!
Likely a club trip (Silverleigh) on Saturday so chance to be naked and free! X
Haha love that! That's the same as me, mother always said I should join a nudist community I love chams because we I get to wear as little as possible "It’s the best feeling, it’s why I spend a lot of the summer naked on the beach. | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better "Or, we are wired to see things others can't. Maybe dodged a bullet and heartache down the line? | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better "Hugs chick.... that feeling is the worst , | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
Or, we are wired to see things others can't.
Maybe dodged a bullet and heartache down the line? "I second this. If they don't "get" you and react badly to you being yourself then they're not a good match. Better to know now than after investing more time and energy into him. | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
Or, we are wired to see things others can't.
Maybe dodged a bullet and heartache down the line?
I second this. If they don't "get" you and react badly to you being yourself then they're not a good match. Better to know now than after investing more time and energy into him."Definitely. We can read each other like books. No need for verbal communication. I can tell when Mr KC is uncomfortable in a situation and so can try to assist him. | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better "I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides. Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear? | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?"Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x"Rejection sensitivity definitely is an awful thing I feel for you there completely, I'm sure you will have much more luck on here than most men still:p | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
Rejection sensitivity definitely is an awful thing I feel for you there completely, I'm sure you will have much more luck on here than most men still:p"Appreciate it thanks, but right now I’m not going to be meeting or getting to know anyone unfortunately. | |||
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"I've got my running headphones but forgot my noise cancelling ones that I wear before hand Good luck with the run! Highly recommend Loop earplugs as an easily portable option for sound overwhelm. They come with a cute little case so I have a couple of pairs permanently attached to bags. Just realised I could/should put a set on my keys too It helps just always having them handy.
P.s. Rick Astley is the worst way to start a race
P.p.s. What on earth was happening in your picture from Feb 14th?! I'm so intrigued!
P.p.p.s. I also use lots and lots of words haha"The air tight latex cube? It's a form of vacbed? Went in it to push my barriers but loved the feeling! | |||
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"Mr KC's family refused to be involved with his diagnosis and rejected it, but it didn't stop the diagnosis from taking place. My parents were abusive, so were never getting anywhere near my diagnostic assessments. It was not a hindrance. " That's reassuring, at my initial consultation I was told it was problematic and might make it more difficult, maybe that won't be the case | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x"Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a very real issue for us. And I know knowing thst doesn't help but be kind to yourself | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a very real issue for us. And I know knowing thst doesn't help but be kind to yourself "Thank you so much, I’m trying to be kind to myself, truly do, but right now I just can’t. There is comfort in knowing what’s happening to me it’s a real issue, even though I still don’t know how to sort it out | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x"It's bollocks, I feel ya. Could your nerves handle approaching him for a light-hearted "clear the air" talk in a day or so? Or is this one best buried? | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
It's bollocks, I feel ya.
Could your nerves handle approaching him for a light-hearted "clear the air" talk in a day or so? Or is this one best buried?"He’s been very sweet about it, which only makes it harder for me to accept a rejection, but it’s clear I’ve f-Ed up massively and that things are done for good. At this point I just wished he’d blocked me and just move on as I don’t know any other way to deal with this | |||
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" 3-7 year waiting list! "Some areas of the country are in super dire situations It took me nearly 2.5 years to be seen by the NHS even with a private diagnosis.
My main question is what do you hope to achieve through the NHS? The only reason I waited was for medication as there were no therapies etc available in my area.
If you are looking for support at work or similar, the Equality Act 2010 stipulates that an official diagnosis is not a requirement. There just needs to be an understanding that you require support. I've had to learn all about it to fight my own battle with a former employer
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today " I'm so sorry love. I know this feeling well I've been single for 10 years because people never seem to understand me enough to make a go of things. It took time but I've learned to enjoy my own company. I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't appreciate all of me. Maybe spend some time doing your own thing and recognising how awesome you are xx
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" The air tight latex cube? It's a form of vacbed? Went in it to push my barriers but loved the feeling!" That's me off to Google more | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a very real issue for us. And I know knowing thst doesn't help but be kind to yourself
Thank you so much, I’m trying to be kind to myself, truly do, but right now I just can’t. There is comfort in knowing what’s happening to me it’s a real issue, even though I still don’t know how to sort it out "Would it help to talk through what happened with someone impartial? Just to gain some perspective and quiet that catastrophising part of your brain? I'm happy to listen if you want to dm. Nell | |||
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"Hi everyone xx" Hi | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a very real issue for us. And I know knowing thst doesn't help but be kind to yourself
Thank you so much, I’m trying to be kind to myself, truly do, but right now I just can’t. There is comfort in knowing what’s happening to me it’s a real issue, even though I still don’t know how to sort it out
Would it help to talk through what happened with someone impartial? Just to gain some perspective and quiet that catastrophising part of your brain? I'm happy to listen if you want to dm.
Nell"Thank Nell, this is very sweet. I’m just not sure how to even process things myself right not, but I’ll hold you to your offer as soon as I’m able to clear all the clutter on the brain. X | |||
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"Im having a day of hating how my brain works today. I was getting to know this amazing kind guy and I’ve just fucked it up with my social awkwardness and my f-Ed up way of seeing things… I’m so fed up with all of it, I don’t know why I even tried in the first place, I should’ve known better
I know this won't make it any less painful, but the problem isn't with YOU. You've just found out that you maybe aren't compatible. That doesn't mean you're broken, it's a misalignment on BOTH sides.
Are you sure it's not salvageable? Could it just be that bastard rejection-sensitivity whispering in your ear?
Thank you everyone, I know it’s probably best to find out now than a while of trying to behave neurotypically and just making it worst for myself
Rejection sensitivity is deffo whispering things in my ear, this may very well be two people not suited for each other, but I can’t help feeling that no one will understand me ever and that I’m an unlovable blob.
Hope everyone is feeling much better than me x
Rejection sensitive dysphoria is a very real issue for us. And I know knowing thst doesn't help but be kind to yourself
Thank you so much, I’m trying to be kind to myself, truly do, but right now I just can’t. There is comfort in knowing what’s happening to me it’s a real issue, even though I still don’t know how to sort it out
Would it help to talk through what happened with someone impartial? Just to gain some perspective and quiet that catastrophising part of your brain? I'm happy to listen if you want to dm.
Nell
Thank Nell, this is very sweet. I’m just not sure how to even process things myself right not, but I’ll hold you to your offer as soon as I’m able to clear all the clutter on the brain. X"Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. " Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?)" Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children  it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward "It makes sense. I have been lucky enough to find a therapist (unsure whether she is NT or ND to be honest) that is truly understanding and practices CFT which aligns really well with my fear of feeling judged for speaking up and expressing my things in my weird way. | |||
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"HOW HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS THREAD???!! Questions mark??" This is the 5th in a row! | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward
It makes sense. I have been lucky enough to find a therapist (unsure whether she is NT or ND to be honest) that is truly understanding and practices CFT which aligns really well with my fear of feeling judged for speaking up and expressing my things in my weird way. "That's great, glad you've got something in place that works for you | |||
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"HOW HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS THREAD???!! Questions mark?? This is the 5th in a row! "Haha ello | |||
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"HOW HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS THREAD???!! Questions mark?? I have all the badges and achievements. "Difficult child" achievement "Would do better if applied himself" Report card badge "Weird kid" award- Silver level "Why does he keep talking about dinosaurs and computers" Level 3 "Dr who and D&D" award with bar for whining about FB friends who recall being "huge fans" after the Eccleston reboot and Stranger Things. ....aaaaaannnndd breathe..." It's like looking in a mirror! | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward "Not being awkward in the slightest! I'm about to be given NHS therapy for my MH and I know it's not going to be effective. I've been through the system so many times before as I can't afford private, but they never really get it right | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward
Not being awkward in the slightest! I'm about to be given NHS therapy for my MH and I know it's not going to be effective. I've been through the system so many times before as I can't afford private, but they never really get it right "It's awful that they've been putting you through ineffective treatment for so long! I do hope you manage to find something useful but I understand there's no accessible support for ND people without paying, even then it's knowing where to look. It drives me insane that people have to suffer so much. | |||
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"HOW HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO FIND THIS THREAD???!! Questions mark?? This is the 5th in a row! "Forgot to add the " Slow on the uptake" award I will often not notice the obvious directly in front of me. | |||
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" Aww lovely! You aren't alone, lots of us get it. It's nice of Nell to offer short term help but I wonder if you could do with a neurodivergent therapist/ coach to support you with long term management. Be kind to yourself and try to take time for self care and the things you enjoy. Thank you, that's very kind. Although I still don't have my formal diagnose (currently on the 'right to choose' waiting list) I have professional support and would be turning to her on Friday as I already had an appointment. Sometimes it just feels good to vent in a safe space where I know that people genuinely knows what it feels like to go through the same thing (if that makes sense?) Of course it does lovely we may all be wonky in some way, shape, or form but it doesn't mean we need the same things to thrive.
Me personally I wouldn't find visiting a NT therapist particularly helpful in general. Even people who believe they understand because they have ND children it tends to cause more confusion/ shame. I want someone who has experienced their shit falling apart because of their wonky brain to advise me, maybe I'm just being awkward
Not being awkward in the slightest! I'm about to be given NHS therapy for my MH and I know it's not going to be effective. I've been through the system so many times before as I can't afford private, but they never really get it right
It's awful that they've been putting you through ineffective treatment for so long! I do hope you manage to find something useful but I understand there's no accessible support for ND people without paying, even then it's knowing where to look. It drives me insane that people have to suffer so much.
"That’s so frustrating…I’ve gotten more than my fair share of disappointments with MH care. I’m just lucky my employer implemented extra psychological support during pandemic and is still ongoing so I can benefit from it | |||
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"This is the 5th in a row!
Forgot to add the " Slow on the uptake" award
I will often not notice the obvious directly in front of me."Ah, in that case, you passed the test! Welcome aboard! | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website" So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website" Just looked this up. The criteria states: 'You need to have a paid job (or be about to start or return to one).' However, it looks really useful for those who are eligible. Thanks, Samba. | |||
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"Unfortunately not. What would be your ideal job or business?" Oh, I'm self-employed. I was just thinking of a few people I know. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks." Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks | |||
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"Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks "I'm unclear what the issue is? Still sounds like very useful info to me. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks. Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks "Like anything, you've got to be in it to win it. Pretty sure you're not having to fight fab women or couples off with a shitty stick, but here you are | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website" This is really good to know! Thanks for posting | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This is really good to know! Thanks for posting "Only too happy to help. I hope it leads to something good for you. It's made a huge impact to my business and we'll being in general | |||
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"Hyper adhd is my brand of wonk. Where do I sign up?" Oh I always think this is the fun flavour of ADHD! I'm combined so I just bumble around like a space cadet and have a baffling lack of energy for someone with "hyperactivity". | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks. Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks "It's actually longer than 20 weeks at the moment, my case took over 6 months to be started. BUT I wouldn't be able to work without the funding I've received to date and so yes, although it takes a long time, it's a very useful system for people who need additional support in order to work. My "things" have been to assist with my physical disability but the processes are the same no matter what the nature of your needs. Go ahead and submit a case to AtW, whoever needs it | |||
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"Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks
I'm unclear what the issue is? Still sounds like very useful info to me."Oh the info is. The service not so much. If someone applies whilst off sick for a week for instance they get seen within 4 weeks. If you've applied while you're still at work but you're struggling and need to go off, you will still be waiting 20 weeks. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks. Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks
Pretty sure you're not having to fight fab women or couples off with a shitty stick, but here you are "Huh? You've lost me bab | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website So not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think. Nice info though, thanks. Hmmm it takes 20 weeks to be assessed if you're already in work and their website states 4 weeks if you're off sick already when you apply. Oh but if you go off sick when you've already applied it's still 20 weeks
It's actually longer than 20 weeks at the moment, my case took over 6 months to be started. BUT I wouldn't be able to work without the funding I've received to date and so yes, although it takes a long time, it's a very useful system for people who need additional support in order to work. My "things" have been to assist with my physical disability but the processes are the same no matter what the nature of your needs.
Go ahead and submit a case to AtW, whoever needs it "I'm not saying it isn't useful, the system just doesn't make sense to me. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website" This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. | |||
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" There must be so many more of us on here, undiagnosed and oblivious. For sure! The estimates are 1 in 7 people around the world are ND. We're bloody everywhere
I found the 4th thread right before it closed, but don't have the headspace to catch up with everything.
AuDHD here Diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Made sooooo much sense of my life.
Anyone else either hyper or hypo sexual? All or nothing? I'm either rampant or literally couldn't give a fuck. Phases can last weeks, months and even years (been hypo since Covid lockdowns til these past two weeks)."Nope, I'm always hypersexual and have always have been since a teenager. Quite honestly, I would welcome a phase of hypo, especially since our relationship came to and end two months ago. Oddly enough I only got round to hiding our profile last night to build myself up to to delete it altogether. Only this evening did I discover this thread! | |||
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"I'm not saying it isn't useful, the system just doesn't make sense to me. " Oh, totally agree! I have been very negative in my thinking towards services recently. It shows how bad things are that I saw this and thought, "Well, that's not bad!" I'm still happy to be able to share this with others, whilst also refusing to accept that this level of provision is acceptable. | |||
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"Nope, I'm always hypersexual and have always have been since a teenager. Quite honestly, I would welcome a phase of hypo, especially since our relationship came to and end two months ago. Oddly enough I only got round to hiding our profile last night to build myself up to to delete it altogether. Only this evening did I discover this thread!" I'm so pleased you found us. I think the discovery of fellow NDs is almost always so liberating. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. " Go for it! The application is straightforward. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. " And is it possible to apply being employed? I could use a grant for some extra MH support if I’m honest and to get help when I fall short in my executive functions | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. " After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once! | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. And is it possible to apply being employed? I could use a grant for some extra MH support if I’m honest and to get help when I fall short in my executive functions "That's what I'm going to try to use it for. | |||
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"I'm not saying it isn't useful, the system just doesn't make sense to me. Oh, totally agree! I have been very negative in my thinking towards services recently. It shows how bad things are that I saw this and thought, "Well, that's not bad!" I'm still happy to be able to share this with others, whilst also refusing to accept that this level of provision is acceptable." Yeah I get it and agree. As you know when you've been fighting for so long and continue to fight for everything every day it's exhausting. It's a blessing the service is there, I'm just not at the point where I can't be grateful. At least you're more positive | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once! "Everyone keeps suggesting to me that I should apply for PIP, but I feel so self conscious and afraid of the whole process, I kept putting it off. How have you found the whole thing? Is it as soul destroying as it seems? | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. And is it possible to apply being employed? I could use a grant for some extra MH support if I’m honest and to get help when I fall short in my executive functions "Yeah it's for employed and self employed people. I'd say it depends how quickly you need support. Personally I wouldn't dip into other funds if you can wait for it, you would be able to get a coach and anything within reason through this system. | |||
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"After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once! "Good luck! Statistically, most tribunals find in favour of the um... wonky brained. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. " It's what has held me back in business for the past 25 years. Like any therapy, it's crucial to find the 'right fit' in an adhd /executive function coach - you will need to find a coach, atw are only a disgressionary grant department. My coach is adhd and she's a real inspiration, but it took perseverance and luck to find her. Also, i was able to persuade atw that coaching alone would not be produce fast enough results or impact 50 years of undiagnosed adhd. I'm also a single parent to an amazing adhd teenage daughter (as yet undiagnosed but on a private adhd practice waiting list). Look... I could go on and on. The past couple of years have been a real rollercoaster, but the level of self awarenes that my diagnosis has given me is immense. Seconded only by becoming a dad, this was the most significant event of my life. | |||
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"Everyone keeps suggesting to me that I should apply for PIP, but I feel so self conscious and afraid of the whole process, I kept putting it off. How have you found the whole thing? Is it as soul destroying as it seems? " Yes, it is - or can be - soul destroying. I've applied 3 or 4 times and it is truly exhausting and something of a lottery. One time, I was awarded the highest levels. Then, when it came for renewal, I scored zero. And the people making the decisions are not (necessarily) doctors, or psychiatrists. They are "health professionals," which means they've done a PIP course. You are unlikely to be awarded it. You will likely have to ask for a mandatory reconsideration and after that maybe a tribunal. But I am happy to help. And there are some great fb groups from people more knowledgeable than me. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. And is it possible to apply being employed? I could use a grant for some extra MH support if I’m honest and to get help when I fall short in my executive functions "In a word. Yes As i understand it, it is only a grant to provide personnel/equipment funding support to people currently employed or self employed - in order to sustain employment | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once!
Everyone keeps suggesting to me that I should apply for PIP, but I feel so self conscious and afraid of the whole process, I kept putting it off. How have you found the whole thing? Is it as soul destroying as it seems? "I was first awarded it in 2016 when I was in the middle of an 18 month DBT programme. My MH key worker did the application for me and an assessor spoke to her on the phone and I actually did very little. I had a review in 2019 and another last November. The 2019 one was just paperwork, which was straightforward enough. It helps to get advice on how to fill out the forms through the council or CAB as how you describe your difficulties is important. Last November was when to struggle began. I filled out the forms stating in each section that there was no change to my condition and gave a brief description of each issue. In February I had an assessment over the phone and in March the PIP was removed and the appeal process began. Ngl, it's been fucking stressful. The government are trying to save money wherever they can, so I'm not optimistic about people's chances of being awarded PIP unless they're ready for a battle. Most people are too ill and stressed to attempt to take it on and I'm sure the government take advantage of that. By the time the hearing comes round I'll have lost out on £2160. I can only work around 16 hours a week and I'm a single parent, so I can't afford not to pursue this. After I lost the PIP payments I tried to work more hours to make up the financial shortfall and after 6 weeks I burnt out and had a MH crisis. | |||
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"Nope, I'm always hypersexual and have always have been since a teenager. Quite honestly, I would welcome a phase of hypo, especially since our relationship came to and end two months ago. Oddly enough I only got round to hiding our profile last night to build myself up to to delete it altogether. Only this evening did I discover this thread! I'm so pleased you found us. I think the discovery of fellow NDs is almost always so liberating. " | |||
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"After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once!
Good luck! Statistically, most tribunals find in favour of the um... wonky brained."I truly hope so. | |||
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"Everyone keeps suggesting to me that I should apply for PIP, but I feel so self conscious and afraid of the whole process, I kept putting it off. How have you found the whole thing? Is it as soul destroying as it seems? Yes, it is - or can be - soul destroying. I've applied 3 or 4 times and it is truly exhausting and something of a lottery. One time, I was awarded the highest levels. Then, when it came for renewal, I scored zero. And the people making the decisions are not (necessarily) doctors, or psychiatrists. They are "health professionals," which means they've done a PIP course. You are unlikely to be awarded it. You will likely have to ask for a mandatory reconsideration and after that maybe a tribunal. But I am happy to help. And there are some great fb groups from people more knowledgeable than me." It’s refreshing to hear true stories but still be encouraged. I have been considering to go part time for a while now at least until I can manage to get titration and see if medication helps, but I couldn’t do it unless I get some extra economic support. I’m so glad I found this thread in such an unlikely place Thanks everyone for the advice and offering to help xx | |||
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"Ngl, it's been fucking stressful. The government are trying to save money wherever they can, so I'm not optimistic about people's chances of being awarded PIP unless they're ready for a battle. Most people are too ill and stressed to attempt to take it on and I'm sure the government take advantage of that. " I think you've nailed it. People will not win unless they are willing to fight. And most are too ill to fight. Don't doubt that for a second - every time I was denied PIP I was pne point off the required score. Every. Single. Time. And that's true for a number of my clients. The Govt know what they're doing. | |||
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"Nope, I'm always hypersexual and have always have been since a teenager. Quite honestly, I would welcome a phase of hypo, especially since our relationship came to and end two months ago. Oddly enough I only got round to hiding our profile last night to build myself up to to delete it altogether. Only this evening did I discover this thread! I'm so pleased you found us. I think the discovery of fellow NDs is almost always so liberating. " Thank you... Now i have a dilemma on my hands. If im to follow this thread, ill either have to tell the ex I'm going back on what I said last night, or create a single sado account. It would appear all too apparent single men on fab are regarded little more than lepers and to be avoided. That's not what I signed up for when i joined. Being the ADHD, single, middle aged, heartbroken and generally sensitive fucker I am, I'm not convinced it's for me | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website This looks really interesting. I'm self-employed and struggle so much with the organising/executive functioning side of things. Go for it! The application is straightforward. After my PIP tribunal hearing in 4 weeks. There's only so much I can deal with at once!
Everyone keeps suggesting to me that I should apply for PIP, but I feel so self conscious and afraid of the whole process, I kept putting it off. How have you found the whole thing? Is it as soul destroying as it seems?
I was first awarded it in 2016 when I was in the middle of an 18 month DBT programme. My MH key worker did the application for me and an assessor spoke to her on the phone and I actually did very little. I had a review in 2019 and another last November. The 2019 one was just paperwork, which was straightforward enough. It helps to get advice on how to fill out the forms through the council or CAB as how you describe your difficulties is important.
Last November was when to struggle began. I filled out the forms stating in each section that there was no change to my condition and gave a brief description of each issue. In February I had an assessment over the phone and in March the PIP was removed and the appeal process began.
Ngl, it's been fucking stressful. The government are trying to save money wherever they can, so I'm not optimistic about people's chances of being awarded PIP unless they're ready for a battle. Most people are too ill and stressed to attempt to take it on and I'm sure the government take advantage of that. By the time the hearing comes round I'll have lost out on £2160. I can only work around 16 hours a week and I'm a single parent, so I can't afford not to pursue this.
After I lost the PIP payments I tried to work more hours to make up the financial shortfall and after 6 weeks I burnt out and had a MH crisis. "This sounds awful! And the last thing you need when you're having MH problems. | |||
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"Hyper adhd is my brand of wonk. Where do I sign up? Oh I always think this is the fun flavour of ADHD! I'm combined so I just bumble around like a space cadet and have a baffling lack of energy for someone with "hyperactivity"." The upside of my adhd (for the most part) is physical and mental energy, my sex drive and the ability to lock in and hyperfocus. The downsides? Well ..suffice it to say, interaction and relationships with neurotypicals in a neurological dominated planet | |||
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"Hyper adhd is my brand of wonk. Where do I sign up? Oh I always think this is the fun flavour of ADHD! I'm combined so I just bumble around like a space cadet and have a baffling lack of energy for someone with "hyperactivity". The upside of my adhd (for the most part) is physical and mental energy, my sex drive and the ability to lock in and hyperfocus. The downsides? Well ..suffice it to say, interaction and relationships with neurotypicals in a neurological dominated planet " Neurotypical* | |||
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so first time looking at forum saw wonky brain ha that’s me ?? not able to type what my craic is ha but like to get to chat to similar in private msg if anyone wants chat | |||
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"Ngl, it's been fucking stressful. The government are trying to save money wherever they can, so I'm not optimistic about people's chances of being awarded PIP unless they're ready for a battle. Most people are too ill and stressed to attempt to take it on and I'm sure the government take advantage of that. I think you've nailed it. People will not win unless they are willing to fight. And most are too ill to fight. Don't doubt that for a second - every time I was denied PIP I was pne point off the required score. Every. Single. Time. And that's true for a number of my clients. The Govt know what they're doing. " Personally,I decided against pursuing a PIP claim, but i did receive help with the lengthy and challenging atw application process through an occupational therapist. Essentially she facilitated the entire process for me. | |||
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"Have you heard of 'Access to Work'? It's a government grant that in my case funds an adhd coach and book keeper. The only requirement I'm aware of is that you need to be gainfully employed or self employed, a minimum of 16hrs per week. Check out the .gov website" Also recommend using this scheme. Started a new hybrid job lately and went through the assessment. They have agreed to fund for both the office AND home ... sit/stand desk, matching dual screens, one of those arm things for screens, a rocking foot rest and wireless keyboard & mouse. Basically making the desk as clutter free as possibly and allowing me to move about/fidget. They are also funding a software called Microbreak and some training to help with confidence/resilience. Kicking myself though as the assessor was going to recommend a better chair but I forgot to send my body measurements. The guy who approved the costs wouldn't let me add it on later | |||
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" so not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think " I think the idea is more helping you to access "your" work. Like getting into a new job or staying somewhere. But think they do also provide funding support to aid with recruitment. As a side note, I'd highly recommend checking out Radical Recruit. They are amazing. It's a not for profit that helps people who have faced barriers to employment. They do lots of workshops to help with CVs, interview practise, confidence building etc. They also have job placements with businesses who are actively trying to become more accessible and inclusive. | |||
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" so not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think I think the idea is more helping you to access "your" work. Like getting into a new job or staying somewhere. But think they do also provide funding support to aid with recruitment." I'm not sure they do help with recruitment. Additionally, I can see no reasons at all to help an employed person find a new job, but *not* help an unemployed person find a job (unless the Govt want to look down on the unemployed and not actually provide *access to work*). Just seems like an arbitrary dividing line to me, possibly dividing the disabled/non-working community. Possibly on purpose. | |||
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" so not those looking for work? That makes the title a little inaccurate, I think I think the idea is more helping you to access "your" work. Like getting into a new job or staying somewhere. But think they do also provide funding support to aid with recruitment. I'm not sure they do help with recruitment. Additionally, I can see no reasons at all to help an employed person find a new job, but *not* help an unemployed person find a job (unless the Govt want to look down on the unemployed and not actually provide *access to work*). Just seems like an arbitrary dividing line to me, possibly dividing the disabled/non-working community. Possibly on purpose." I think those who arent working will have access to other forms of support whilst looking for work... like a work coach at the jobcentre or going to groups that help you prepare for work (im not saying that support is appropriate or sufficient, just that its there). For those with disabilities who work, this is the support that is available. For those moving from unemployment into a new job, they can apply for this support, so it does apply to them! As someone who has struggled to manage my own self-employed business (in the past, not now), having a mentor to help me would have been fantastic and helped me be more sucessful. It could mean the difference between being able to work or not. Often the word "Access" is used to describe reducing the inequality between non-disabled/NT people and everyone else. Its a buzzword with specific connotations of equality. Its not about helping people to get into work despite the word seeming like it might! To use a different example: I have a friend who has extra support to help her "access" university (help her with the things in her course that are difficult because of her disability). That support is not offered to everyone who isnt studying! Only to students who have disabilities. Hope that makes sense! Fay | |||
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"I think those who arent working will have access to other forms of support whilst looking for work... like a work coach at the jobcentre or going to groups that help you prepare for work (im not saying that support is appropriate or sufficient, just that its there)... Often the word "Access" is used to describe reducing the inequality between non-disabled/NT people and everyone else. Its a buzzword with specific connotations of equality. Its not about helping people to get into work despite the word seeming like it might! " (You are right. It is inappropriate and insufficient.) Yet, the word "access" is simply being misapplied. It is evidently NOT being used to reduce the inequality between non-disabled people and "everyone else." And that is not a medical distinction. It is a political one. I don't see why any disabled person would support a division between working disabled people and non-working disabled people. The word "access" means something. You are correct in that it is being used as a buzzword. All sorts of words are used as buzzwords to exclude us. We, as a community, are not obliged to support any of them. I bet my house in future government propaganda, "access to work" will be listed as one of the ways they helped disabled people - and they know full well that the general public will believe that means they helped people "access" work. Because that's what the word means. | |||
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"Morning all, I hope today is awesome for everyone. Or at least tolerable. Yes, let's go with tolerable "Woh! Lower your damn expectations! | |||
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"Morning all, I hope today is awesome for everyone. Or at least tolerable. Yes, let's go with tolerable "Morning lovely! Fingers crossed for a good one but I'll take tolerable if I have to | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time " Sorry to hear that was your experience, what did you do in the end? | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time Sorry to hear that was your experience, what did you do in the end? " I was bullied out and resigned before they sacked me. Though I'm not being paranoid when I say I think they were warned off. As initially they offered support and then it was over ruled from above | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time " A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads. | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time Sorry to hear that was your experience, what did you do in the end? I was bullied out and resigned before they sacked me. Though I'm not being paranoid when I say I think they were warned off. As initially they offered support and then it was over ruled from above " yeah they do contact your employer so I can see how that could happen. | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads." Oh I have it in writing. "We cannot allow you to return to the office due to the risk you present to colleagues and the public" I was refused a copy of the non existent risk assessment that had zero input from me, my doctor and occupational health. They'd also ignored the occupational health report and used that as a forum to ask if I still thought I could do my job rather than about support I might need. I honestly think they believed I'd caught Autism and was now sone sort of unstable psychopath rather than understanding I'd had it all my life. My manager lost his temper when I asked him whst he knew about Autism as it wasn't relevant! That was in am ill health review! Yiu couldn't make it up | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads. Oh I have it in writing. "We cannot allow you to return to the office due to the risk you present to colleagues and the public" I was refused a copy of the non existent risk assessment that had zero input from me, my doctor and occupational health. They'd also ignored the occupational health report and used that as a forum to ask if I still thought I could do my job rather than about support I might need. I honestly think they believed I'd caught Autism and was now sone sort of unstable psychopath rather than understanding I'd had it all my life. My manager lost his temper when I asked him whst he knew about Autism as it wasn't relevant! That was in am ill health review! Yiu couldn't make it up " ….wow! Surely you have a solid constructive dismissal case there. That’s outrageous. Have you spoken to a solicitor ? | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads. Oh I have it in writing. "We cannot allow you to return to the office due to the risk you present to colleagues and the public" I was refused a copy of the non existent risk assessment that had zero input from me, my doctor and occupational health. They'd also ignored the occupational health report and used that as a forum to ask if I still thought I could do my job rather than about support I might need. I honestly think they believed I'd caught Autism and was now sone sort of unstable psychopath rather than understanding I'd had it all my life. My manager lost his temper when I asked him whst he knew about Autism as it wasn't relevant! That was in am ill health review! Yiu couldn't make it up ….wow! Surely you have a solid constructive dismissal case there. That’s outrageous. Have you spoken to a solicitor ?" I've taken it to ACAS but my employers refused to consider settlement. I'm nit sure I have the strength firma tribunal. There's also 3 suicide attempts and a complete mental breakdown, a history of bullying, and multiple breaches of policy I can fairly easily prove I've spoken to 2 solicitors both agreed I have a case one I couldn't afford and the others openly admitted they lacked the knowledge as personal injury claims are usually physical. At the moment I'm thinking takevstock and look for a personal injury lawyer in the new year rather than a tribunal. They knew I was suicidal and didn't care and its all logged | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time " Whichever AtW person you dealt with is talking complete bollocks. AtW is DEFINITELY designed to support reasonable adjustments for people already in work. I acquired my disability while working for my current employer and received AtW funding to enable me to travel to work (car adaptation). I'm also awaiting review of a claim towards my new wheelchair. | |||
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"I think those who arent working will have access to other forms of support whilst looking for work... like a work coach at the jobcentre or going to groups that help you prepare for work (im not saying that support is appropriate or sufficient, just that its there)... Often the word "Access" is used to describe reducing the inequality between non-disabled/NT people and everyone else. Its a buzzword with specific connotations of equality. Its not about helping people to get into work despite the word seeming like it might! (You are right. It is inappropriate and insufficient.) Yet, the word "access" is simply being misapplied. It is evidently NOT being used to reduce the inequality between non-disabled people and "everyone else." And that is not a medical distinction. It is a political one. I don't see why any disabled person would support a division between working disabled people and non-working disabled people. The word "access" means something. You are correct in that it is being used as a buzzword. All sorts of words are used as buzzwords to exclude us. We, as a community, are not obliged to support any of them. I bet my house in future government propaganda, "access to work" will be listed as one of the ways they helped disabled people - and they know full well that the general public will believe that means they helped people "access" work. Because that's what the word means." The purpose of AtW is to enable disabled people to remain in or enter into the workplace, via enabling reasonable adjustments. Some adjustments will be fully funded by AtW but many require employer contribution or even employee contribution. I received AtW funding to adapt my car so I could continue to travel to work. They funded 5/7 of the cost because I am not contracted to work weekends. I had to pay 2/7 of the cost, therefore. The same calculation is likely to apply for my wheelchair claim but my employer has said they will pay the 2/7 on my behalf. | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads. Oh I have it in writing. "We cannot allow you to return to the office due to the risk you present to colleagues and the public" I was refused a copy of the non existent risk assessment that had zero input from me, my doctor and occupational health. They'd also ignored the occupational health report and used that as a forum to ask if I still thought I could do my job rather than about support I might need. I honestly think they believed I'd caught Autism and was now sone sort of unstable psychopath rather than understanding I'd had it all my life. My manager lost his temper when I asked him whst he knew about Autism as it wasn't relevant! That was in am ill health review! Yiu couldn't make it up " Shit. I don't know why it still surprises me to hear shit like this. For all the "inclusivity" and "acceptance" we're meant to have these days...plus ca change. | |||
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"My experience with Access to Work was shocking (there's a a recurring theme here with people i reach out too). At the point I was refused reasonable adjustments, told I couldn't return to work as I presented a risk and asked for the umpteenth timevwhatbi would do to manage my Autism I contacted Access for Work. They told me their purpose was primarily to support employers take on new disabled staff and advise on reasonable adjustments. They told me that they rarely supported people already in work and then told me that trying to intervene would be a conflict of interests as they were part of the same County Council that employed me. Complete waste of time A risk?! A forking risk!! Ye gads. Oh I have it in writing. "We cannot allow you to return to the office due to the risk you present to colleagues and the public" I was refused a copy of the non existent risk assessment that had zero input from me, my doctor and occupational health. They'd also ignored the occupational health report and used that as a forum to ask if I still thought I could do my job rather than about support I might need. I honestly think they believed I'd caught Autism and was now sone sort of unstable psychopath rather than understanding I'd had it all my life. My manager lost his temper when I asked him whst he knew about Autism as it wasn't relevant! That was in am ill health review! Yiu couldn't make it up Shit. I don't know why it still surprises me to hear shit like this. For all the "inclusivity" and "acceptance" we're meant to have these days...plus ca change." Nodding away! Shocking but not surprised unfortunately. | |||
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