FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Any tips for begginers
Any tips for begginers
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me? |
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It's good that you do well with on line dating 
Are you contacting people?
It's a fact that single men do find it more difficult on here. All I can suggest is that you message people you're interested in, maybe join in the forums in a friendly and positive way and be patient
I would suggest clubs and socials but it seems that advice is scorned. However I don't know many better ways of meeting people than face to face
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've heard clubs are a really good way of getting started. I'm a bit wary of them though cause of costs and I would need to be discreet. I might try that Quest in Leeds. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Which parts are you referring to cause if it's my preferences I won't be changing those as I am picky and most girls I've seen on here are picky also, especially the ones that I find physically attractive and who also want 6ft+, Gym fit, Big cock. but if it's not that part which part? |
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My advice is don't be so focused on what you want, and talk more about what you can offer.
And don't be so 'rapey'
"Be submissive or I'll make you either way"
Saying that you will make someone submit, without consent, is a huge red flag.
Not judging those into BDSM, but forcing it on someone is not legal.
Makes you look like an abuser, rather than a dom.
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Honestly, if you’re getting replies from people, you’re doing better than most people.
“We might get caught” play is a really specific fetish and can put potential partners off because of worried around bystander consent. You’re just going to have to be patient and wait for your picky and their picky to line up. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
dating is not swinging so id forget about you doing ok in that scene on the swinging scene you are one ofg a very very large number of men anything between 100/200 to 1 woman/couple some areas alot more ...
best advice i think is be you dont end up having the same crappy profiles like all the others that asked for advise ..just be you |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your kinks or what you are asking for. Fab is different things to different people and we like all the things you do…however your grammar/wording needs checking and would put me off!
HW x |
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"Going by your profile we'd say swinging isn't quite what you're looking for."
Don’t agree. Lots on here aren’t traditional ‘swingers’ as such. We use it only to find men to join us, with much success.
HW |
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"Going by your profile we'd say swinging isn't quite what you're looking for.
Don’t agree. Lots on here aren’t traditional ‘swingers’ as such. We use it only to find men to join us, with much success.
HW"
To be honest, you can find men on pretty much any site of this nature. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you've only been here a few weeks and had that many people message you, you are doing very well in comparison to a lot of people. "
^exactly.
What were your expectations on joining the site?
Do you somehow imagine this was instashag?
Single men massively, and I do mean MASSIVELY outnumber women and couples on here.
Something like 100 men to every one woman.
Can you imagine what some womens inboxes must be like?
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"Going by your profile we'd say swinging isn't quite what you're looking for.
Don’t agree. Lots on here aren’t traditional ‘swingers’ as such. We use it only to find men to join us, with much success.
HW
To be honest, you can find men on pretty much any site of this nature."
You miss my point; there’s no rules that say you can’t come on here unless you are the ‘throwing your keys in a bowl’ type swinger. It can fill many purposes. |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
If you do better with online dating, why are you in here? Stick to what works for you fella 
If you do stay in here, your profile could do with re-wording, as it is repetitive, and sounds like it was written by someone a lot younger than you |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
OP. There are mixed messages within your profile which to some people, may be off-putting. More on that in a moment.
You have been on here for only 2 weeks. You are a mere beginner. What did you expect from FAB? It's not Instant Shag!
You are competing against 100's of other guys all seeking the same aim. Pre-Covid, it could take a guy about a year to get noticed.
Nowadays, with so many other guys newly arrived on here after lockdowns were lifted, it's more difficult for single guys to succeed.
You really need to adapt your profile. It comes across as "hard" & what you are going to subject a lady to! Yes, that may appeal to some ladies or couples on here, but not everyone.
Your profile to success is almost like a Job CV. You effectively have to "Sell yourself". Include what you can bring to a meet, as well as what you can expect from one too!
You have done well to get some responses so far; some guys will get nothing at all.
You really need to put up a clear facial pic, not one of you hiding behind some equipment!
The suggestion of going to Clubs is a good one. It's an ideal way of meeting people. Quest in Leeds is ideal and your nearest. But crucially to succeed in any club, you have to talk. Don't stand on the sidelines and think everyone will fall at your feet!
It is tough for single Males on here and in the scene in general. Ditching the Dating link in your profile, and soften the tone a bit, could benefit your approach.
Be prepared for no replies; it happens, just move on to someone else.
It does work. Good luck.
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
OP: quick maths - we meet once each week, half the time with someone we already know. So we need two new guys each month, max. We get at least ten offers each day, so 300 per month. That means that over 99% won't ever get a meet with us.
Also, there are red flags in your profile that are going to severely limit your audience. I know of no females that are happy to share toys that go inside them so definitely lose that bit.
Oh....and pictures.
(Bry) |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
This is a social media platform more than a dating app you maybe get 2/3 meet a year if you're very lucky. |
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I started on Fab as a single guy and there was a time when I having a few causal flings. For me from a single guy point of view this site was never as successful for causal encounters as the common online. I found online dating sites far better for finding women looking for no strings fun and connection. I think partly because there is a bit of a difference between swingers and average single women just looking to fulfill adult needs. However this site was great in helping me to access the wider scene (clubs, parties etc) and networking within the community. So for me fab was more a tool for accessing and making connections on the scene and OLD more for simply getting my leg over. So how successful fab is to you I think partly depends on what your using it for. |
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Op...
Well done to you for being upfront and honest re what you are looking for. Don't set you expectations to high re the number of contacts you might make, as with anything sexual we all have our needs and what you are looking isn't really what every woman likes, whereas a % of women do like the same as you sexually.
Enjoy the journey. |
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By *al kalMan
over a year ago
london |
I think you have been on here before dude. If memory serves correct, the profile detail is almost word for word.
That particular individual caused a huge stink on the forums, and multiple repeat posts. |
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"OP. There are mixed messages within your profile which to some people, may be off-putting. More on that in a moment.
You have been on here for only 2 weeks. You are a mere beginner. What did you expect from FAB? It's not Instant Shag!
You are competing against 100's of other guys all seeking the same aim. Pre-Covid, it could take a guy about a year to get noticed.
Nowadays, with so many other guys newly arrived on here after lockdowns were lifted, it's more difficult for single guys to succeed.
You really need to adapt your profile. It comes across as "hard" & what you are going to subject a lady to! Yes, that may appeal to some ladies or couples on here, but not everyone.
Your profile to success is almost like a Job CV. You effectively have to "Sell yourself". Include what you can bring to a meet, as well as what you can expect from one too!
You have done well to get some responses so far; some guys will get nothing at all.
You really need to put up a clear facial pic, not one of you hiding behind some equipment!
The suggestion of going to Clubs is a good one. It's an ideal way of meeting people. Quest in Leeds is ideal and your nearest. But crucially to succeed in any club, you have to talk. Don't stand on the sidelines and think everyone will fall at your feet!
It is tough for single Males on here and in the scene in general. Ditching the Dating link in your profile, and soften the tone a bit, could benefit your approach.
Be prepared for no replies; it happens, just move on to someone else.
It does work. Good luck.
"
With respect mate, when you are sat on as many verifications and meets as you are, is easy to say that. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
100 to 200 men per 1 woman ... more in some area's
be you not somebody else only you know you and what you want
stick to your guns
advice is only going to make your profile like all the other boring profiles that asked for advice
and remember your a guy its extremely hard for a guy sadly they have to put extra effot in but nothing is given its not a sex on a plate site its a swingers site with many many people playing thier own way no 2 women or couples will be the same
and lastly as already said it will be somewhere between very very hard to impossible thats how it is for most guys on this scene let alone this site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attach something shiny to the line and cast it wide! Your be just as well to spend your time finding the holy grail, than trying to arrange a meet on here.
I’d agree with some of the others though, you’re best off joining a club and attending there, with the view of just attending and having no expectations. If you meet someone and have fun great, if not! That’s okay too.
Or follow the
 and you may also find her there?
Good luck |
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By *aughty VicarMan
over a year ago
Bamber Bridge, P R E S T O N, Lancashire |
Just be patient.
There’s loads of like-minded people out there. (Amongst the time-wasters and pic-collectors)
It’s a case of waiting for attraction, preferences and secret lifestyle calendars to align.  |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"What are the clubs like just like a night club but slightly different is everyone friendly and will chat to you?"
Clubs vary, but many are nightclub type places with music, friendly atmosphere, places to socialise and chat to others and separate areas...some open and some private for sexy activities. |
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"I would also appreciate some profile feedback, if anyone has the time…
As some have said 2-3 messages from both couples and women is good going… "
Best to make your own thread, also lose the status |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
Embrace your first month of fab as that's when you should get the most traffic. I just don't think there's enough sexy photos of you tbh |
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"Do you guys not find people have way higher standards on here than the people on online dating?"
It's totally different standards of what type of person we want to play with. So maybe you're messaging unsuitable people? |
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"What are the clubs like just like a night club but slightly different is everyone friendly and will chat to you?"
Not necessarily. I think I get more people chatting to me in a nightclub than a swingers club. From my experience, they can be very cliquey. It's whether your face fits the club so it's expensive trial and error process clubs. Unless you're the type you will talk to anybody and get on doing what ever then fair game |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd message you if we lived closer lol. I've had a look & imo your profile is fine, that's the type of things I want to read when looking. The face pic is always a bonus & as ur a good looking guy, you'll do ok. Just don't expect too much & take any good you get as a bonus.
I'm a single female & the amount of time wasters I've had is unreal (I've deleted a few profiles due to this) but when you get past all that & meet genuine people, it's worth it. Good luck & have fun x |
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"Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good."
Looks aren't everything, even when it comes to sex. Good luck op |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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you say that but I think when it comes to sex people are definitely pickier, especially because men always want sex, and a lot of men will have sex with any woman. that's also why women get 1000s of messages on here and men don't really get any at least in my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
Get yaself to a club darling,us older ladies will help u have some fun  |
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" you say that but I think when it comes to sex people are definitely pickier, especially because men always want sex, and a lot of men will have sex with any woman. that's also why women get 1000s of messages on here and men don't really get any at least in my experience."
Not necessarily true. My last fab meet us pretty new to fab and swinging lifestyle and gets plenty of meets. It's how you conduct and present yourself. I know many men on here who do very well. It's all about social etiquette and if they're connecting with the right people, instead of just sending out copy and paste to every female or couple profile they see. |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?
Get yaself to a club darling,us older ladies will help u have some fun "
Yes there's plenty women in clubs looking for young fit men  |
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"I didn't think it would be so hard to find someone but if there is 100- men to 1 couple or woman then that makes sense. guess it will take time."
It's good that you realise you need to make realistic expectations, in order to remain positive, etc. Then target your energy appropriately. |
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"Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good."
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. It takes several levels of messaging before the majority are sorted from the minority. This is again about setting your expectations appropriately. |
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"Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good.
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. It takes several levels of messaging before the majority are sorted from the minority. This is again about setting your expectations appropriately. "
Thus most initial good chats will just suddenly stop, when 1 party realises its not a match. |
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"Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good.
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. It takes several levels of messaging before the majority are sorted from the minority. This is again about setting your expectations appropriately. "
Exactly this |
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"Definitely not the type to go walk and talk to anyone so club wont be no good for me then.
Well if thats the case then i aint getting anyone i even get replies but then they dont message again its really weird even girls who say i look good.
Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. It takes several levels of messaging before the majority are sorted from the minority. This is again about setting your expectations appropriately.
Thus most initial good chats will just suddenly stop, when 1 party realises its not a match. "
Yup they see the connection and moved on. |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?"
Stick to tinder. |
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"I've heard clubs are a really good way of getting started. I'm a bit wary of them though cause of costs and I would need to be discreet. I might try that Quest in Leeds."
Your blub says you live alone but you've given a red flag with the need to be discreet (we don't say broadcast it in lights but... )
Get out to social events near you
Check out if the club has a waiting list |
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"I've some guys with like 10-15 verifications in person this year. but i see your point everyone!"
But how long have they been here
Are they 121 meets
Clubs, socials
I went to Chams at weekend
If everyone I spoke with verified me that would give me lots just on one night out! |
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?
Stick to tinder."
Yes he probably be better off on there as this is a very tough market. Not impossible as I met men who are new to fab and do extremely well. But they do have the right attitude, charm and wit. So I totally understand why they are successful |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So basically, I do fine on Online dating. but on here I'm finding it hard to even get replies on here. I am a little picky but nothing too extreme. I've been on here a few weeks now and maybe had 2 couples message me and 2-3 women.
Has anyone got any advice for me?
Stick to tinder."
Actually tinder isn't going so well atm but badoo is going pretty good and my snap is full but they like iffy when it comes to meeting i'll have to work at it. |
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