FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Club conversations - how to break the ice
Club conversations - how to break the ice
Jump to: Newest in thread
Veteran of a number of clubs. I’ve had some lovely visits, some horny visits and some lonely ones.
The good ones all revolve around social interactions so chatting is the key I think (doh).
So (impossible) advice required from all ages, genders and sexual inclinations (happy to chat to anyone) How do I say Hi in a way that:
Doesn’t make the other person/(s) think I’m just after one thing or anything in fact
Doesn’t have them worrying that they won’t be able to get rid of me
Is charming enough for them to consider saying hi back and maybe having a future chat if the opportunity presents itself.
Is non threatening enough for them not to feel defensive.
Or bottom line what’s the best way of being friendly and not annoying people?
You’d think I’d have learned by now but any help very gratefully accepted
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Veteran of a number of clubs. I’ve had some lovely visits, some horny visits and some lonely ones.
The good ones all revolve around social interactions so chatting is the key I think (doh).
So (impossible) advice required from all ages, genders and sexual inclinations (happy to chat to anyone) How do I say Hi in a way that:
Doesn’t make the other person/(s) think I’m just after one thing or anything in fact
Doesn’t have them worrying that they won’t be able to get rid of me
Is charming enough for them to consider saying hi back and maybe having a future chat if the opportunity presents itself.
Is non threatening enough for them not to feel defensive.
Or bottom line what’s the best way of being friendly and not annoying people?
You’d think I’d have learned by now but any help very gratefully accepted
"
It's not easy for single guys in clubs, we know that. It's a case of saying hello to people, most will be happy to have a chat even if they don't intend to play. Guys unfortunately may need to break the ice as they're less likely to get approached than couples or fems. For us it's just simple chat that breaks the ice. As an example;
"Hi, how are you two?"
We're good thanks, how are you?
"I'm good thanks, you both look nice, have you been to this club before"
Thank you, yes we've been here before........
You should be able to tell by the conversation and body language if someone would like to carry on the conversation or it's time to move on. We're always happy to have a chat as we love chatting to people, if we want to move on we'd probably use the "we're going to get a drink, we'll see you later" line. Good luck  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Pick your location - at my local, it’s easier to get conversation going in the smoking area or hot tub because you just happen to be sharing the space so might as well get along.
Look for groups that have a space for someone new to join them. A break in a circle, an empty chair.
Keep your body language open and approachable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
The group conversations are important because it's clearer that you're joining them for the conversation, not the hope of getting them naked.
If you approach someone in the bar, they're going to think it's because you want more than chat. Even if that's true, I think it's important to show an interest in people as people. And you do get all sorts of interesting people in a club.
I'll sometimes compliment someone on their outfit as I walk past. Just smile, "that's a fantastic dress, you look amazing", and keep walking. Even if I don't see them again for the rest of the night, I'm hoping it makes them feel good. It's not a conversation opener, but people feeling good is never a bad thing. And (this sounds more calculating than it actually is) if I do see them again later, we've already broken the ice and conversation will be that little bit easier. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd say a key thing for us is after starting to chat, excuse yourself after a while. That might be 5 or 20mins, every situation is different, but for us, we find it annoying when a guy sorts latches on, even if we really want to play with him, we need some alone time to chat between ourselves, especially if the club is busy and we have a nice seat, and you joined us, we're unlikely to want to give up that seat.
We like to ask what people are looking for or into, mainly because we mostly look for bi guys. We find it sorts off-putting when guys won't commit to what they want, it's like they'll take anything, a guy being open without being full of himself, is very attractive.
Other thing which usually seems to get our attention is when someone comments on us in passing.
For example I (male) had a collar and leash on, on Saturday night, a guy casually mentioned to Mrs how he thought it was very cute. That was in passing at the bar, but enough that we knew he had noticed us and we went on to play after some further conversation. To be honest, he was way out of our usual age range and we'd never have approached him, so little hints like that can be really productive for single guys.
Also, don't hang round them after, unless invited (although I believe this is a rather subjective opinion). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thanks guys so helpful and making total sense. Keeping things short, being mindful of location, breaking off and open body language are excellent insights and drive by hellos and complimentary observations sit well with who I am. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"I love asking what do you call a round bit of bread xx
 "
Being that I call it a roll, and most be in Cupids don’t call it that it ends up explaining i am a cockney
I don’t think it’s ever led to sex but may try next time
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We like to be approached and if we see a guy we like the look of we will often approach him.
General how are you, are you enjoying yourself, been here before / been to other clubs etc works fine because we feel it’s more about body language and feeling the guy out.
If he gets immediately touchy, starts to interrogate us or merely grunts in reply to questions we will have learned all that we need.
In essence, smile and keep it light and don’t get too personal too soon. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
