FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Saying you’re not into something
Saying you’re not into something
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A bit of a moan I suppose…. Sorry!
I just can’t understand why there’s an attitude around certain sex acts which mean men feel it’s ok to tell me: “it’d be fine with me” “you’d like it if I did it” “well I’ll be gentle” or “I can do it properly”.
There’s lots of positives to this site, but that’s my absolute worst thing.
Imagine if I asked a man if he liked pegging, he said no, and I said “well I’ll be gentle with you” or “well it’d be good with me.”
I find it absolutely maddening. They’re literally telling me they don’t respect me and my boundaries… and then are surprised when I pull them up on it or say I don’t want to meet. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to respond like that.
Anyone else find themselves having this conversation, and about what? |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
Yup... Guys I have spoken to, who know I don't want anything physical with them as I have told them I don't fancy them and have never has that type of "chat", not knowing them massively well and them still, constantly hinting or out right telling me what they would like to do to/with me, sexually... Stop that! It's creepy and massively inappropriate! I have cut off more than a few guys for this  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find I get it specifically for not enjoying anal and not squirting. Those ironically are the first two things EVERY man asks for.
Good for people who do enjoy it, it’s just not for me.
And yes. I have tried it.
Yes, more than once.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find I get it specifically for not enjoying anal and not squirting. Those ironically are the first two things EVERY man asks for.
Good for people who do enjoy it, it’s just not for me.
And yes. I have tried it.
Yes, more than once.
"
I’m the same, I don’t like either act and men seem obsessed with them! |
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OP it’s definitely not a moan it’s really important. First of all it’s called a preference for a reason and secondly it’s called consent! Anyone who doesn’t get that and thinks every person is a porn-star style doll from their favourite video has no place here. Keep on being you with your own likes, dislikes and absolute hard limits. That is the only way to be xx  |
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"I find I get it specifically for not enjoying anal and not squirting. Those ironically are the first two things EVERY man asks for.
Good for people who do enjoy it, it’s just not for me.
And yes. I have tried it.
Yes, more than once.
"
I was recently asked in another thread about favourite and least favourite, giving anal was my least. So you can count me off the list of all men. Favourite was fucklicking though, so that might go against me instead. |
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"I find I get it specifically for not enjoying anal and not squirting. Those ironically are the first two things EVERY man asks for.
Good for people who do enjoy it, it’s just not for me.
And yes. I have tried it
Yes, more than once.
"
I must be a bit strange then!
Because I have absolutely no interest in anal, tried it like you, but not fun, particularly if you are girthy, and just don't get the obsession with squirting, seen pics of finger blasting and it just looks painful! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, yes... Up da bum! Or fuck your mouth, spunk in your eye... I tend to find they're most game if long term married, and haven't actually interacted with in a woman in a very long time |
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Yes it happens a lot OP but it comes under preferences. The only problem is if you have a preference on Fab then somehow you are wrong and need to be persuaded otherwise. You see it on the forums too. |
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Ha, nature of the beast on here unfortunately. One My Girl often gets is being told they can make her Sqirt, guaranteed! Not that she doesn't, more that we know most me can't and someone who comes out with such a claim is automatically just the sort of guy who can't. Mainly because he's already put her back up and blasting away with a bit of junior hacksaw action doesn't work for everyone.
Still frustrating as it is its also a helpful aid in the filtration process  |
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It's so infuriating, I'm not into anal if anyone tried to push it it's an instant turn off.
As someone said above if I was to want to peg a man and he wasn't interested I don't think he'd take to kindly to "I'll go slow" "it'll be ok with me" "I'll just put the tip in" just find someone else.....
Anyone who thinks it's ok to pressure anyone into anything isn't for me.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This! Some men automatically think women love anal - I used to love it and no I simply don't like it. I get the whole 'ill be gentle'. 'You've not had the right dick' and 'you just had a bad time before' lines all the time and some even automatically think anal is a given. When I say no, I don't do anal they're like are you sure?!  |
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"Yes it happens a lot OP but it comes under preferences. The only problem is if you have a preference on Fab then somehow you are wrong and need to be persuaded otherwise. You see it on the forums too."
It does happen a lot both to blokes as well as ladies! Some even try to change your preferences during meetings simply say no thanks and good bye, move on we do.  |
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Funnily enough was thinking about this exact thing earlier. Definitely good for filtering, but this is important to talk about openly because it's not okay!
DP is a big one I get - I have the remnants of a condition which means penetration is not always easy, and they just laugh off my insistence that I wouldn't be looking for two live cocks lol.
It's almost as though they see limits as a challenge....a very poor and dangerous mindset!! - Xeno |
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"I find I get it specifically for not enjoying anal and not squirting. Those ironically are the first two things EVERY man asks for.
Good for people who do enjoy it, it’s just not for me.
Totally agree with you, I don't enjoy anal and make sure than any guy knows and understands that. But still guys have to attemp it. When I have asked if they want a dildo or even a finger or 2 shoved up their ass that's a very different thing.
And yes. I have tried it.
Yes, more than once.
"
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I think that there are some who immediately MUST have what someone is disinclined to.
The age-old, you've not had tge man/dom/size etc is just their creepy way of assuming their pressure will break us down.
Worse still are those like this, who keep quiet after raising it, intending to spring it on us, when they get to meet with us.
At least those who make themselves explicitly a bad match, make it easier for us to end all interaction early enough |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m sad it’s happening all over fab, but glad it’s not just me that feels that way.
Just fyi, I don’t have anal listed on my interests. And yet…. Asked by almost every person who messages.
Most of these convos filter men out of a real meet. But I’ve had men try to pressure me into not using condoms after Explicitly saying it’s a must in messages - reminding them to bring some / saying I have some etc.
I just don’t believe anyone should be acquiescing and doing things they don’t want to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think that there are some who immediately MUST have what someone is disinclined to. "
I think that’s very interesting. The virgin whore dichotomy lol |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"We do get a lot of contact from people whose profile states that oral and kissing are very important and couples who say that the woman is very bi and loves playing with women. "
Same as you Mrs nice ,I'm straight and on our couple profile we've had similar .No pics of the man and she loves playing with women,err well you're barking up the wrong tree with me I'm afraid.
We spoke to a couple a while back,established I'm straight & they said they were ok to play straight. A few messages later they were implying she would happy to be my first for girly play .
Block as that isn't what we want or offer. |
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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago
somerset |
its a reason i tick no interest boxes because the moment you do then its a must do .. erm no i do with whom i wish to do things with ie no chance every guy get to do anal thats only for trusted and regular and the same goes for alot of other kinks too also if i dont want to do something i wont and dont if they push that via message or for real then its buy bye and block ..
im very openminded but only with the right guys and there are very few of them around ...cant stand pushy guys they are the worse of the worse at times
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"A bit of a moan I suppose…. Sorry!
I just can’t understand why there’s an attitude around certain sex acts which mean men feel it’s ok to tell me: “it’d be fine with me” “you’d like it if I did it” “well I’ll be gentle” or “I can do it properly”.
There’s lots of positives to this site, but that’s my absolute worst thing.
Imagine if I asked a man if he liked pegging, he said no, and I said “well I’ll be gentle with you” or “well it’d be good with me.”
I find it absolutely maddening. They’re literally telling me they don’t respect me and my boundaries… and then are surprised when I pull them up on it or say I don’t want to meet. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to respond like that.
Anyone else find themselves having this conversation, and about what? "
Good on you for sticking to your boundaries. Shame on others who want you to do things you are not into sexually. You respect yourself. They don't respect you. |
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"A bit of a moan I suppose…. Sorry!
I just can’t understand why there’s an attitude around certain sex acts which mean men feel it’s ok to tell me: “it’d be fine with me” “you’d like it if I did it” “well I’ll be gentle” or “I can do it properly”.
There’s lots of positives to this site, but that’s my absolute worst thing.
Imagine if I asked a man if he liked pegging, he said no, and I said “well I’ll be gentle with you” or “well it’d be good with me.”
I find it absolutely maddening. They’re literally telling me they don’t respect me and my boundaries… and then are surprised when I pull them up on it or say I don’t want to meet. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to respond like that.
Anyone else find themselves having this conversation, and about what? "
Personally, before a meet I like to know what turns a woman on and off sexually. Then I know to do what she likes and what not to do to piss her off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get this all the time. I don't cum from oral. I enjoy it very much and will never turn it down but I simply do not orgasm from it. Simple as that.
But it's always "wait til I get at you" type of response. Very annoying and off putting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A bit of a moan I suppose…. Sorry!
I just can’t understand why there’s an attitude around certain sex acts which mean men feel it’s ok to tell me: “it’d be fine with me” “you’d like it if I did it” “well I’ll be gentle” or “I can do it properly”.
There’s lots of positives to this site, but that’s my absolute worst thing.
Imagine if I asked a man if he liked pegging, he said no, and I said “well I’ll be gentle with you” or “well it’d be good with me.”
I find it absolutely maddening. They’re literally telling me they don’t respect me and my boundaries… and then are surprised when I pull them up on it or say I don’t want to meet. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to respond like that.
Anyone else find themselves having this conversation, and about what? "
That’s a selfish pushy .
100% not give a damn about the women .
Is very wrong . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, yes... Up da bum! Or fuck your mouth, spunk in your eye... I tend to find they're most game if long term married, and haven't actually interacted with in a woman in a very long time "
Or that or wife doesn’t do the freaky things he would love too .
And she doesn’t have too .
If is not happy maybe should let her be free to find someone who would match her better .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A eye opener this thread …
I mean , I’m new on fabs , I came from the dating app . There I am aware of how bad women are treated at home and in dating app .
But here I didn’t knew yet how rude men treat women …
They should respect you ladies and apretiate the fact that you are here and make all this possible …
Respect x x |
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By *sexyHCouple
over a year ago
Leicester |
"A bit of a moan I suppose…. Sorry!
I just can’t understand why there’s an attitude around certain sex acts which mean men feel it’s ok to tell me: “it’d be fine with me” “you’d like it if I did it” “well I’ll be gentle” or “I can do it properly”.
There’s lots of positives to this site, but that’s my absolute worst thing.
Imagine if I asked a man if he liked pegging, he said no, and I said “well I’ll be gentle with you” or “well it’d be good with me.”
I find it absolutely maddening. They’re literally telling me they don’t respect me and my boundaries… and then are surprised when I pull them up on it or say I don’t want to meet. I can’t imagine thinking it’s ok to respond like that.
Anyone else find themselves having this conversation, and about what? "
.
So true some men are so pushy |
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"I’m sad it’s happening all over fab, but glad it’s not just me that feels that way.
Just fyi, I don’t have anal listed on my interests. And yet…. Asked by almost every person who messages.
Most of these convos filter men out of a real meet. But I’ve had men try to pressure me into not using condoms after Explicitly saying it’s a must in messages - reminding them to bring some / saying I have some etc.
I just don’t believe anyone should be acquiescing and doing things they don’t want to do. "
It's sad it's happening to many women in everyday life. |
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