FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice
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"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!" Yes I agree with this I wouldn't want to meet someone I've never spoken to or seen face pics of .I tend to delete any 1st message that asks to meet or if I'm free. | |||
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"Even for a social? " Yes, Who would go for a social with a profile as dull as most of the others that end up in their inbox? | |||
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"Even for a social? " Your status doesn't imply you care about a social. Regardless, there is nothing at all on your profile to make someone pick you. Just search for guys in your area and do some market research. Look for verified guys etc. Get an idea of the effort required. | |||
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"Even for a social? " Op your status doesn't imply you're after socials ,if you're happy to have them update your profile.you have to make people want to meet you,what can you offer etc. Look for group socials to get to meet others etc Good luck | |||
"Not very nice I'm far from dull sorry x " If that's to me you read it wrong. I said the profile is | |||
"Who are you talking to? (reply + quote)" Sorry if I offended you genuinely I'm not that type of person sorry x | |||
"Even for a social? Op your status doesn't imply you're after socials ,if you're happy to have them update your profile.you have to make people want to meet you,what can you offer etc. Look for group socials to get to meet others etc Good luck" Thanks hun x | |||
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" Pics are not great I know but I'm not happy with my lock down pou ds I've added x " So what... If you get a bite you're going on a crash diet? You've basically just admitted to false advertising. | |||
"Why would it be your age. You’re 39!" Feel old lol I see all the guys in there 20s/30s with gym bods and big tools and you know before I broke my leg I done MMA I was like that | |||
"Who are you talking to? (reply + quote) Sorry if I offended you genuinely I'm not that type of person sorry x" It takes more than that to offend me | |||
"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are...." I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing | |||
" Pics are not great I know but I'm not happy with my lock down pou ds I've added x So what... If you get a bite you're going on a crash diet? You've basically just admitted to false advertising. No I've put in my bio I'm chubby I'm not like big just not personally happy with how I am not to how I was 2 year ago I go gym daily now getting back in shape " | |||
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"Hello all This is not a pity post they is enough of them on here So I read in detail the profiles people who I like and send a nice message ie hi how are you? "I like the profile I see your in to xyz like me would you like to arrange a meet some time see where it goes no pressure" Then I get ignored or blocked I was messaging a lady all going well then blocked So my question is socials I see on here if you want to meet people go to a social So I post anyone fancy meeting up for a drink and again nothing at all Is it just my profile putting people off or my age " I suspect a combination of profile, status, and approach is to blame. I doubt age isn’t a specific factor. There are a range of ages here, and as long as you’re being realistic (not aiming solely for the “19 year old single woman who is here to meet men” market), then you should find you’ll be within someone’s range. Your profile is nothing special, though. That’s fine. Neither is mine. But I’m not expecting to get any “meets” out of it. If you’re after women, you’re on the wrong end of market forces, I’m afraid. There is a lot more supply than demand. As for “socials”. I think people will be suggesting organised group socials. Safety in numbers, etc. See it as an opportunity to let your charm shine. Go onto your local board. On the front page of the London board I counted at least six socials being advertised. Go there, meet, drink (not too much) and be merry. If you send a message to someone you’ve never met asking for a meet (even a “social”), they’re likely going to wonder why you’re interested in them having never spoken to them, probably never seen their face, and never interacted. If you write asking for a “social meet” with no pressure, while having a status telling them how many days since your last orgasm, they might be tempted to think you’re telling them porky pies. You’ve probably got better odds finding someone who just wants to meet for casual sex. Your “opener” is bland cut and paste too. People aren’t expecting war and peace, but if you want to stand out, then you need to be something different - whether that’s a buff body, huge cock, or (as in my case, when you have neither) something else. Put even a little effort into it to show you’ve read their profile, and that you’re not just pasting the same message you send to everyone who ticks the right boxes. Your profile doesn’t say much about you. I assume everyone in Greater London is cheeky to some extent. You may go with the flow, but this gives zero insight into your personality. Why would someone want to spend time having a drink with you based on knowing nothing about you other than your love of water sports, lack of recent orgasms, and ‘cozy’ pube situation. And all joking aside about watersports. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak. You’re narrowing your dating pool (no pun intended) further by having that on. Fine if that’s a “must” for you, but if you aren’t absolutely desperate for some pee play, maybe take it off (else all the nice ladies you could be meeting might worry you’ll pee on their good bedlinen). Similarly not everyone likes bi guys. Can’t understand it myself, we’re usually exceptional lovers, but hey, I don’t like ketchup, and some people rave about it. You’re never going to change the underlying reasons behind that (I’m not going to start another biphobia thread, worry not), but you should be aware of it as something that will also stack the odds against you. | |||
"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are.... I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing " Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice.... | |||
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"Hello all This is not a pity post they is enough of them on here So I read in detail the profiles people who I like and send a nice message ie hi how are you? "I like the profile I see your in to xyz like me would you like to arrange a meet some time see where it goes no pressure" Then I get ignored or blocked I was messaging a lady all going well then blocked So my question is socials I see on here if you want to meet people go to a social So I post anyone fancy meeting up for a drink and again nothing at all Is it just my profile putting people off or my age I suspect a combination of profile, status, and approach is to blame. I doubt age isn’t a specific factor. There are a range of ages here, and as long as you’re being realistic (not aiming solely for the “19 year old single woman who is here to meet men” market), then you should find you’ll be within someone’s range. Your profile is nothing special, though. That’s fine. Neither is mine. But I’m not expecting to get any “meets” out of it. If you’re after women, you’re on the wrong end of market forces, I’m afraid. There is a lot more supply than demand. As for “socials”. I think people will be suggesting organised group socials. Safety in numbers, etc. See it as an opportunity to let your charm shine. Go onto your local board. On the front page of the London board I counted at least six socials being advertised. Go there, meet, drink (not too much) and be merry. If you send a message to someone you’ve never met asking for a meet (even a “social”), they’re likely going to wonder why you’re interested in them having never spoken to them, probably never seen their face, and never interacted. If you write asking for a “social meet” with no pressure, while having a status telling them how many days since your last orgasm, they might be tempted to think you’re telling them porky pies. You’ve probably got better odds finding someone who just wants to meet for casual sex. Your “opener” is bland cut and paste too. People aren’t expecting war and peace, but if you want to stand out, then you need to be something different - whether that’s a buff body, huge cock, or (as in my case, when you have neither) something else. Put even a little effort into it to show you’ve read their profile, and that you’re not just pasting the same message you send to everyone who ticks the right boxes. Your profile doesn’t say much about you. I assume everyone in Greater London is cheeky to some extent. You may go with the flow, but this gives zero insight into your personality. Why would someone want to spend time having a drink with you based on knowing nothing about you other than your love of water sports, lack of recent orgasms, and ‘cozy’ pube situation. And all joking aside about watersports. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak. You’re narrowing your dating pool (no pun intended) further by having that on. Fine if that’s a “must” for you, but if you aren’t absolutely desperate for some pee play, maybe take it off (else all the nice ladies you could be meeting might worry you’ll pee on their good bedlinen). Similarly not everyone likes bi guys. Can’t understand it myself, we’re usually exceptional lovers, but hey, I don’t like ketchup, and some people rave about it. You’re never going to change the underlying reasons behind that (I’m not going to start another biphobia thread, worry not), but you should be aware of it as something that will also stack the odds against you. " Thanks that's actually very good advice | |||
"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?" Not attached I flat share with a work mate | |||
"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are.... I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice...." Thanks | |||
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"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are.... I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice.... Thanks " Try going to one of the club's, when they hold social events you never know and nothing to lose but it could be a great starting point... Good luck pal | |||
"Remember OP low effort = low reward!" I've updated my profile added a bit of me in there | |||
"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!" Couldn't agree more. It's shocking that so many do it then moan they that they don't get a reply. | |||
"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry! Couldn't agree more. It's shocking that so many do it then moan they that they don't get a reply." It maybe annoying but same time this is a forum where someone who is struggling to engage so any helpful advice helps we might not all had this struggle but it being kind assisting | |||
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"Remember OP low effort = low reward! I've updated my profile added a bit of me in there You’ll still need better photos IMO! Full body pics would be a good start. And if you need a cock pic I’d take a better one. " Ive got a better camera now I'll add some more you mean dressed full body? | |||
"Your name is Funtime but your profile pic looks like you're at a funeral !" I know right lol I a was going to work I'm in the city we have to dress the full hog lol | |||
"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched? Not attached I flat share with a work mate " Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?! | |||
"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched? Not attached I flat share with a work mate Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?! " We both work for a professional company where its a bit back stabbing going on if someone (even a work mate) has something on you they will use it works work they don't need to k ow what I do on here | |||
"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched? Not attached I flat share with a work mate Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?! We both work for a professional company where its a bit back stabbing going on if someone (even a work mate) has something on you they will use it works work they don't need to k ow what I do on here " Isn’t every company by definition “professional”? You don’t need to say you met someone off fab (as if that’s a bad thing) - seems a bit of a cop out for a grown man to me… | |||