FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > "I'm not your type"
"I'm not your type"
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I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? |
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I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
|
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if someone feels they aren't your type they really believe it and from what I've seen in the forum you're not going to change the way they feel.
We sometimes tell people we aren't what they're looking for but that is genuinely because we don't meet the criteria they set out in their profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might be because you're quite athletic and a lot of women feel self-concious. There is something in what you're saying though, i've had my fair share of skinny admirers. Opposites attract ! |
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"It might be because you're quite athletic and a lot of women feel self-concious. There is something in what you're saying though, i've had my fair share of skinny admirers. Opposites attract ! "
Exactly this, I fully understand where the comment is coming from but my perspective is if I am messaging you, it's because I find you attractive, but I accept that insecurities may get the better of some people based on how I look myself. |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
That does make sense, totally agree with that thought process |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It might be because you're quite athletic and a lot of women feel self-concious. There is something in what you're saying though, i've had my fair share of skinny admirers. Opposites attract !
Exactly this, I fully understand where the comment is coming from but my perspective is if I am messaging you, it's because I find you attractive, but I accept that insecurities may get the better of some people based on how I look myself. "
Bit controversial, but you could compare it to how a shorter man might feel with a taller lady |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
""you're too in shape to like someone like me""
Actually I was quite surprised a lot of women say that. You know that show "Take me out" with Paddy McGuiness. When a guy shows he's fit in the gym, some girls go no-likey and "booom" no-lighty - reason is the fella is too fit.
For me, it's more about mental connection. I prefer dad bods but on the occasion I have gone for fit, leaner, younger guys, they had tended to cum-n-go or we have nothing in common... I've never been in a gym ever! |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
This 
If someone messages I will check out their profile and verifications to see if I’m someone they would like.
If I see no reference to BBW or they only have veris off slimmer women then 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer. |
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As a curvier girl myself, I am guilty of this. I think it’s down to each persons experience.
I for one definetly find it hard when we go to clubs and places like that to even imagine any of the more athletic or slimmer guys to bat an eye lid at me. Again this comes down to past personal experiences.
As others mentioned, maybe pop something in your bio about who you’re attracted to or how you’re inclusive of everyone and maybe make it lighthearted and to say how just because you’re athletic doesn’t mean you’re attracted to just athletic people too?
In todays day and age societal expectations are rife and social media is so damaging. Keep trying though xx |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
"As a curvier girl myself, I am guilty of this. I think it’s down to each persons experience.
In todays day and age societal expectations are rife and social media is so damaging. Keep trying though xx"
I know where you're coming from but here is a challenge for you...
I am a feminist and have joined the women's support group at work. We discuss "imposter syndrome" and challenge ourselves that "I am not good enough". That is in context of promotion or given a challenging project but for me, it equally applies to sexual meets. |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
This
If someone messages I will check out their profile and verifications to see if I’m someone they would like.
If I see no reference to BBW or they only have veris off slimmer women then 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer. "
I totally do this too!
Even though I fully understand where OP is coming from, and I try not to let insecurities get the better of me, when it comes to it if I don’t see evidence of women my size on a profile I will feel a bit put off… |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
This
If someone messages I will check out their profile and verifications to see if I’m someone they would like.
If I see no reference to BBW or they only have veris off slimmer women then 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer. "
Both these answers resonate with me ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice! |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
That would be the same for me.
I wouldn’t want to feel like a back up/last resort choice |
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"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice! "
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women 
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? "
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online. |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
This is exactly what I was going to say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
This is me. Thought I was the only one lol
Emma |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice!
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test"
I find that every guy has a preference or an ideal type but aren’t always honest about it. On here I think guys tend to try and appeal to everyone to increase their chances of getting a meet and aren’t always honest so I look at the whole profile - bio, verifications and forum interactions and assess from that. |
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"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice!
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test
I find that every guy has a preference or an ideal type but aren’t always honest about it. On here I think guys tend to try and appeal to everyone to increase their chances of getting a meet and aren’t always honest so I look at the whole profile - bio, verifications and forum interactions and assess from that. "
I agree, I dare say that is the case for some men... I just wouldn't want to meet someone I wasn't genuinely attracted to in some way personally, I guess it's hard to tell who is just after a meet with anyone that will give them one and who is genuinely in to someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice!
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test
I find that every guy has a preference or an ideal type but aren’t always honest about it. On here I think guys tend to try and appeal to everyone to increase their chances of getting a meet and aren’t always honest so I look at the whole profile - bio, verifications and forum interactions and assess from that.
I agree, I dare say that is the case for some men... I just wouldn't want to meet someone I wasn't genuinely attracted to in some way personally, I guess it's hard to tell who is just after a meet with anyone that will give them one and who is genuinely in to someone "
Exactly! I’m confident in myself and my looks but would hate to meet up with a guy who will sleep with anyone whether he’s attracted to them or not and there’s plenty of those on Fab! |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
This
If someone messages I will check out their profile and verifications to see if I’m someone they would like.
If I see no reference to BBW or they only have veris off slimmer women then 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer.
I totally do this too!
Even though I fully understand where OP is coming from, and I try not to let insecurities get the better of me, when it comes to it if I don’t see evidence of women my size on a profile I will feel a bit put off…"
I'm glad to see it's not just me that does this!
In a club it wouldn't bother me at all, the person can see me, and I can see their reaction to me. I realised very quickly that all sorts of people like all sorts of people.
On Fab is a totally different thing. I worry that they have only skimmed over my profile info, or not looked closely enough at my photos and are expecting some dinky little thing they can throw around (I'm taller than most who message, so my height is an additional potential problem as it bothers some guys).
Insecurities are definitely heightened when you only have text on a screen to go on. Some mention of finding a particular, or several body types attractive would probably help me feel more comfortable responding, especially if it looks like you have a definite type based on veris.
 K x |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
Yes this for me too |
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"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice!
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test"
Good idea ,maybe state you find all shapes and sizes attractive on your profile and see if that helps.
I'm guilty too of looking at the previous verifications to see the type of people they've met in the past .
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve said this to multiple men but not based on their body type. If their profile or forum activity expresses a preference for curvy or BBW I’ll bypass them, im just not willing to be anyones second choice!
This is why I would prefer not to single out a specific type on my profile, I have found all shapes and sizes attractive, it wouldn't be that someone is a second choice, just that I have a broad taste, I can appreciate the beauty in all sizes of women
Perhaps I'll update the profile and test
Good idea ,maybe state you find all shapes and sizes attractive on your profile and see if that helps.
I'm guilty too of looking at the previous verifications to see the type of people they've met in the past .
Miss "
I judge much more on past meets than bio text tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online. "
You make it sound like he couldn't possibly be attracted to her looks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone messages me or shows an interest in real life, I assume its exactly that, he's interested. Be too exhausting to go through all the thought processes, but maybe I wrong  |
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I don't know how anyone can say 'I'm not your type' as how would you know what someone else's type was
However as a larger lady I personally prefer not to meet people with what I would call a gym fit bod, it's nothing personal it's just my preference, even when I was a slimmer size 12 if I saw a guy had a slimmer waist than mine it put me off... who knows why, the inner workings of the mind is a bizarre & crazy thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the your not my type on this site when sharing photos (I can't seem to take a decent photo) but when bumping into the same lady in a pub a few hours later they are wanting to take me home |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I would put in your profile something about the type of lady you are looking for, and then it may help make some of those ladies you seek be more comfortable as as you are openly and actively looking for them. |
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies."
I think a lot of men do as well - one of the reasons why couples often don't have pics of the man. Personally I would rather a lady at least size 12 or above with a few bumps and imperfections than a gym fit size 8-10 lady - not likely but even if she was throwing herself at me I would be wondering where's the catch |
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
I think a lot of men do as well - one of the reasons why couples often don't have pics of the man. Personally I would rather a lady at least size 12 or above with a few bumps and imperfections than a gym fit size 8-10 lady - not likely but even if she was throwing herself at me I would be wondering where's the catch "
PS but if you are gym fit size 8-10 please message us and we will be happy to consider |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
I like fit bodies (and larger ones) and know that some like my flabby body so I would never say that... Plus, you can tell if someone is just fed up of looking for someone and is settling for you... I hate the term thick though so... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone has body confidence issues to some degree! I love my figure but I still avoid guys who show a preference for curvy/BBW because I’m pretty much the opposite of that. And I’m a size 8/10! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies."
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have! "
A very healthy attitude, don’t get me wrong I love mine and worked hard to get it but I just prefer to meet guys where I am their preference and not a runner up prize lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have!
A very healthy attitude, don’t get me wrong I love mine and worked hard to get it but I just prefer to meet guys where I am their preference and not a runner up prize lol "
Damn fine body it is too, you are definitely THE prize x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have!
A very healthy attitude, don’t get me wrong I love mine and worked hard to get it but I just prefer to meet guys where I am their preference and not a runner up prize lol
Damn fine body it is too, you are definitely THE prize x"
Why thank you   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have!
A very healthy attitude, don’t get me wrong I love mine and worked hard to get it but I just prefer to meet guys where I am their preference and not a runner up prize lol
Damn fine body it is too, you are definitely THE prize x"
Thanks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies.
Can actually say not all ... I've virtually (not keen when it's injured tbf) always liked mine! I totally get insecurities though, just decided decades ago that it's just me and my physical so I take care of it and it's jolly damn good ... only one I have!
A very healthy attitude, don’t get me wrong I love mine and worked hard to get it but I just prefer to meet guys where I am their preference and not a runner up prize lol
Damn fine body it is too, you are definitely THE prize x
Thanks "
My pleasure  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless a profile actually says what they're looking for ie not tall ladies or prefer larger ladies ... I never presume what another person's type is because unless you've met in person, who knows? |
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In fairness, sometimes people don't read profiles, or miss things. I've had people who are very into kink send messages, and there's nothing wrong with what they enjoy! But they're going to find me / my partner boring, since we don't do that. So even if they message I tend to assume they've missed that bit of it (or if they haven't, i still genuinely don't think I'd be a good fit).
Or maybe it's just a polite rejection, in this case? I'm not sure. Anecdotally, a lot of women self reject. I definitely do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
I agree 100% with this. Your verification woman body type and size looks nothing like me and you dont mention on your profile anything about plus size women. I wouldnt message you, I'd just assume you have no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online.
You make it sound like he couldn't possibly be attracted to her looks"
That's how I've read this to mean too  |
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Surely the thing that defines swingers is that they enjoy variety? I mean, no other woman will ever compare to my wife for me, but I hugely enjoy making a connection with other women as well. Does that make them "runners up"? Certainly not in my books - they're all hugely attractive, interesting women in their different ways. The last thing I want is a sequence of clones of my wife.
For me, by far the two most attractive features in a woman are a nice smile, and fancying me. While I might have physical preferences for a pin-up, a playmate is completely different.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
Exactly everything u have said is whatbi lookbfor and i am bbw.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All women have confidence issues to some degree about their bodies."
(Jane typing)
I have always thought this too. It's something that sort feels reassuring that we're all the same in a way.
However there's been a quite few times when I've read comments from females saying that they are 100% happy with thier body/looks, no issues at all.??
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have said this in the past to men, or when their profile says their type (and I'm the total oppisite) lol! Sometimes I find very attractive muscular men a bit intimidating, not in a threatening way but sexually, like why would they like me type thing. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been guilty of saying this
Mostly because I genuinely don't understand how someone who spends so much time working out/eating well can find my body big attractive
Slim guys I have no issue with but guys who obviously go to the gym make me a little uncomfortable
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online. "
Why would it surprise you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It might be because you're quite athletic and a lot of women feel self-concious. There is something in what you're saying though, i've had my fair share of skinny admirers. Opposites attract !
Exactly this, I fully understand where the comment is coming from but my perspective is if I am messaging you, it's because I find you attractive, but I accept that insecurities may get the better of some people based on how I look myself. "
If you messaged me, I'd take it as a compliment,my body isn't perfect, far from it, but I love a fit toned body, and yours certainly is  |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online.
Why would it surprise you?"
Exactly the reason why you wouldn't go with very althetic men. Why would someone who takes pride in their appearance, trains really hard like the opposite to them? But I do see it on the streets but surprised to see it in clubs. As the couples I saw were well matched apart from that couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online.
Why would it surprise you?
Exactly the reason why you wouldn't go with very althetic men. Why would someone who takes pride in their appearance, trains really hard like the opposite to them? But I do see it on the streets but surprised to see it in clubs. As the couples I saw were well matched apart from that couple."
No because that's my personal perspective based on how I feel about my body
You sound as if you're saying that he shouldn't be with her because she's fat and he goes to the gym |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
We're definitely more judgemental online than in person. I saw an very fit althetic man with a BBW having a great time in a club. Did surprise me but as I said anything really goes in person as you're more likely to be attracted to someone's personality than looks. For me, I need looks and personality to entice me online.
Why would it surprise you?
Exactly the reason why you wouldn't go with very althetic men. Why would someone who takes pride in their appearance, trains really hard like the opposite to them? But I do see it on the streets but surprised to see it in clubs. As the couples I saw were well matched apart from that couple.
No because that's my personal perspective based on how I feel about my body
You sound as if you're saying that he shouldn't be with her because she's fat and he goes to the gym "
I'm saying usually people go for like for like. As I said all the couples in the club were well matched apart from that particular couple. She was very big and he was super muscley. |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? "
I have used that a few times but only when the people messaging have profiles that are quite off-putting or demanding. One couples profile did say that were gym bunnies and looking for same, so I was a little confused that they were messaging me |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar?
I have used that a few times but only when the people messaging have profiles that are quite off-putting or demanding. One couples profile did say that were gym bunnies and looking for same, so I was a little confused that they were messaging me "
I just don't think people read or look at profiles carefully before messaging. I keep getting couples wanting a bi woman. That's definitely not me. Even after telling them that, they're hoping I change my mind due to how charming they been towards me. Nope. Never be bi and never want to. |
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It's something very noticeable about you and is generally seen a good quality to have. Could it be that sometimes women use this a nice excuse to say no thanks nicely rather than having to explain other factors that don't float their boat? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's something very noticeable about you and is generally seen a good quality to have. Could it be that sometimes women use this a nice excuse to say no thanks nicely rather than having to explain other factors that don't float their boat?"
Not for me, I know I would find it very hard to get naked with someone whose body is so perfect. I would be presuming they are looking at me and seeing everything that is wrong with me and maybe even "making do" until someone slimmer comes along. |
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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago
Northampton |
"It's something very noticeable about you and is generally seen a good quality to have. Could it be that sometimes women use this a nice excuse to say no thanks nicely rather than having to explain other factors that don't float their boat?
Not for me, I know I would find it very hard to get naked with someone whose body is so perfect. I would be presuming they are looking at me and seeing everything that is wrong with me and maybe even "making do" until someone slimmer comes along."
Why assume they think something is wrong with you, just because you do? I find very different men attractive as I am attracted to their faces and personalities, if I like those then I like everything... Look at yourself like you look at others and fuck some hot gym guys if you want to!  |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
This
If someone messages I will check out their profile and verifications to see if I’m someone they would like.
If I see no reference to BBW or they only have veris off slimmer women then 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer.
Both these answers resonate with me !"
Me too! I always check who veri's are from x |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Some weird responses on this thread.
I've met reds, brunettes, black, blonde, dirty, pale, dark, olive, tall, short, slim, middle, large, single, married, other, younger, same, older...
My type? 30ish, Brazil-Portuguese-Estonian-Dane? But I'm not here to date |
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"Thing is Op: women feel they have the control as they have the thing some men want: Their body. So they will use this to their advantage. "
Not necessarily to our advantage. I think most of us know the type we desire and it takes more than "let's fuck" to get sex. Some women just make any excuse not to be with someone. Personally, I will tell the truth why not if they request it, otherwise it's just a no thanks. Fit bodies are very intimidating but yet so fun to touch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? "
Using the term "thicker women" is the main reason why!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yep totally get what you mean and I've had that plenty times.. basically it's because said ladies feel uncomfortable being naked with men slimmer than them. While I respect you may like a 'thicker' woman, on here there is a massive variation in 'curvy' and 'ample' and the other one 'fabulous' whatever that means. It really points to this element of this site being very much in favour of the ladies and results in the menfolk being completely in the dark as to the actual shape of a lady's figure, a directly necessary thing for male attraction. Hence you have to get around to asking for pictures to get an idea and to save embarrassment at a later date and wasting time of either party. It's as much a misunderstanding of men by women as men thinking mistakenly women want to see copious cock pictures... Imo. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
100% agree with this. It’s exactly how I feel too and in all honesty, wouldn’t feel comfortable with a slim/athletic person unless they mentioned in their profile that they are attracted to a fuller figure or bbw. Plus the veris really do speak for what you tend to go for in meets so this also puts me off if you only have veris from ‘beautiful people’. |
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"
Using the term "thicker women" is the main reason why!! "
Sorry you don't like the term, I've had women show dislike for "BBW" "thicc" "curvy" and "plus size"
All I can draw from this particular experience is that you can't please everyone all of the time.
FYI I don't approach women that fall in to any of these categories by openly using any reference to these in my messages to them.
People are people to me, if I find you attractive, I find you attractive. |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
"
Yes I see this a lot people messaging me that have verifications from slimmer women it makes me feel like they would shag me cause they are desperate for sex not cause they find me and my body attractive |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
Yes I see this a lot people messaging me that have verifications from slimmer women it makes me feel like they would shag me cause they are desperate for sex not cause they find me and my body attractive "
I agree with this and I tend to mention it in my response so there is no misunderstanding. It is quite curious that, whilst in real life we mostly either get ignored or receive bad comments, here suddenly there seems to be a lot of men who are interested in very large / fat ladies (despite their veris coming from mostly slimmer ones). |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
Yes I see this a lot people messaging me that have verifications from slimmer women it makes me feel like they would shag me cause they are desperate for sex not cause they find me and my body attractive
I agree with this and I tend to mention it in my response so there is no misunderstanding. It is quite curious that, whilst in real life we mostly either get ignored or receive bad comments, here suddenly there seems to be a lot of men who are interested in very large / fat ladies (despite their veris coming from mostly slimmer ones)."
I mention it too now, never used to when I was a noob but now I'm not afraid to speak my mind |
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"I have been guilty of saying that to people..
Having looked at your profile. This is where my insecurity goes..
You don't mention anything about liking bbw
Your verification, and yes we do look... Shows a profile of a lovely slimmer lady...
So while I fully understand your post
That's how my head works and maybe how other people think about it as well??
Yes I see this a lot people messaging me that have verifications from slimmer women it makes me feel like they would shag me cause they are desperate for sex not cause they find me and my body attractive
I agree with this and I tend to mention it in my response so there is no misunderstanding. It is quite curious that, whilst in real life we mostly either get ignored or receive bad comments, here suddenly there seems to be a lot of men who are interested in very large / fat ladies (despite their veris coming from mostly slimmer ones)."
I think it's a fetish that become popular. There was another thread where a male posted stating he had several conversations with men saying it's "easier to get a fat woman who more obliging in bed" Sheer laziness and arrogance from the male side to make such an awful comment about someone. |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? "
I definatly think it's because women would feel insecure about how they look compared to you. I thing any woman who has had attention from fit guys have all questioned it. I do even just when someone comments on our profile or my body, but I agree with what someone else says above is that it might be worth mentioning in your bio that you quite like a curvy woman To.
It's a shame because it becomes about the queen your msging rather than what you look like, I can imagine that must be quite tough sometimes. |
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"I get this a fair amount, both on fab and off of fab...
I happen to rather like a thicker woman (that's not to say I don't like slim women either) but in my vanilla life I've had a good mix of body types as partners, both thin and thick, some muscular, some softer.
But it seems that when I'm talking to a thicker woman, I always get something along the lines of "I'm not your type" "you're too in shape to like someone like me"
Now I kind of understand why a person might say something like this, but I just want to say, my physical shape doesn't affect what I find attractive in a woman, so ladies, please stop it, just accept the fact that slimmer guys can like thicker women just as much!
Anyone else experience something similar? "
I definatly think it's because women would feel insecure about how they look compared to you. I thing any woman who has had attention from fit guys have all questioned it. I do even just when someone comments on our profile or my body, but I agree with what someone else says above is that it might be worth mentioning in your bio that you quite like a curvy woman To.
It's a shame because it becomes about the queen your msging rather than what you look like, I can imagine that must be quite tough sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep totally get what you mean and I've had that plenty times.. basically it's because said ladies feel uncomfortable being naked with men slimmer than them. While I respect you may like a 'thicker' woman, on here there is a massive variation in 'curvy' and 'ample' and the other one 'fabulous' whatever that means. It really points to this element of this site being very much in favour of the ladies and results in the menfolk being completely in the dark as to the actual shape of a lady's figure, a directly necessary thing for male attraction. Hence you have to get around to asking for pictures to get an idea and to save embarrassment at a later date and wasting time of either party. It's as much a misunderstanding of men by women as men thinking mistakenly women want to see copious cock pictures... Imo."
Or you could just look at their photos and decide for yourself if their body shape is to you liking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think most of us do. The decision in made based on what they read and then what they see. Just as in 'vanilla' dating, the person will either 'fancy' you or not. |
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