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The merry dance of fab
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so it's not quite a help me I can't get meets thing, it's more the perspective.
People assume, as a single female who is bi, as in the unicorn, that we rule fab. Not really. And this isn't me saying it, I have met some lovely unicorns who struggle too.
People ask where the single females are and it's usually, we've hidden, taken a break or literally just become immune to messages, or seen that many dick pics, were immune.
Not everyone is like this, there are some decent ppl and if you see my profile I have 70 veris. That spans 7.5 years with a lot being social meets at events and clubs.
I don't meet many people thru fab purely because of the thirsty messages. Some are not even fit to reply to. Vulgar, disgusting and from a safety perspective no.
If someone expects it or sends a graphic, fuck now, come suck me or I'll come fuck you like a whore, (that was yesterday btw) I instant delete. Then when you explain the message is not really for me you get I was joking or you're really up yourself.
So this is a parallel to help me I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone
There must be a middle somewhere.
Finally, I don't seek pity, I am explaining where the single fems may be. Hidden or breaking.
Clubs are far easier |
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"But are clubs a good introduction for single guys? I'm new to this all really and it seems the assumption would be that the ratio might still be off? "
IF, and only IF you go to a club with the right attitude, then YES clubs are an ideal introduction for single guys. The guys who go and socialize, are polite, well presented and friendly get on well.
Those who walk round wanking or trying to join in without even speaking, don't! |
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By *inkycatWoman
over a year ago
High Wycombe |
"Ok so it's not quite a help me I can't get meets thing, it's more the perspective.
People assume, as a single female who is bi, as in the unicorn, that we rule fab. Not really. And this isn't me saying it, I have met some lovely unicorns who struggle too.
People ask where the single females are and it's usually, we've hidden, taken a break or literally just become immune to messages, or seen that many dick pics, were immune.
Not everyone is like this, there are some decent ppl and if you see my profile I have 70 veris. That spans 7.5 years with a lot being social meets at events and clubs.
I don't meet many people thru fab purely because of the thirsty messages. Some are not even fit to reply to. Vulgar, disgusting and from a safety perspective no.
If someone expects it or sends a graphic, fuck now, come suck me or I'll come fuck you like a whore, (that was yesterday btw) I instant delete. Then when you explain the message is not really for me you get I was joking or you're really up yourself.
So this is a parallel to help me I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone
There must be a middle somewhere.
Finally, I don't seek pity, I am explaining where the single fems may be. Hidden or breaking.
Clubs are far easier "
I completely agree with all of this in spades! My profile was hidden from June and I opened it last weekend as I’m going to a couple of organised socials. Apart from the “hi” messages - predominantly from shadow profiles - my favourite has to be the one where I was told he’d like to meet me to fuck so I could leave him a veri…! When I politely declined and said I don’t do anything without a social, I was told this is a sex site or hadn’t I realised!
It’s people like this that make us fab weary and I agree I find clubs or organised socials a better way to meet now. |
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Very interesting post, but I’m not surprised. The assumption is women have it easy here, but there’s also the assumption that all the women are easy too.
Of course swinging is ultimately about sex, but that does not mean this is necessarily purely a sex site. That’s Adult Work and too many men here seem to think this is basically a free Adult Work. While I’ve never used Adult Work or paid for sex, I do have a lot of respect for the women on there and to an extent, the men as well because at least the women are getting some money and the men are acknowledging their worth by paying.
Too many of the men on here are just borderline incapable of getting laid, too tight to pay for it, or think they shouldn’t have to because they feel entitled to sex and assume the women here are dying to be fucked and abused. I’d be in favour of a much higher membership cost for men (and no free profiles either) just to drive out the predatory blokes on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok so it's not quite a help me I can't get meets thing, it's more the perspective.
People assume, as a single female who is bi, as in the unicorn, that we rule fab. Not really. And this isn't me saying it, I have met some lovely unicorns who struggle too.
People ask where the single females are and it's usually, we've hidden, taken a break or literally just become immune to messages, or seen that many dick pics, were immune.
Not everyone is like this, there are some decent ppl and if you see my profile I have 70 veris. That spans 7.5 years with a lot being social meets at events and clubs.
I don't meet many people thru fab purely because of the thirsty messages. Some are not even fit to reply to. Vulgar, disgusting and from a safety perspective no.
If someone expects it or sends a graphic, fuck now, come suck me or I'll come fuck you like a whore, (that was yesterday btw) I instant delete. Then when you explain the message is not really for me you get I was joking or you're really up yourself.
So this is a parallel to help me I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone
There must be a middle somewhere.
Finally, I don't seek pity, I am explaining where the single fems may be. Hidden or breaking.
Clubs are far easier
I completely agree with all of this in spades! My profile was hidden from June and I opened it last weekend as I’m going to a couple of organised socials. Apart from the “hi” messages - predominantly from shadow profiles - my favourite has to be the one where I was told he’d like to meet me to fuck so I could leave him a veri…! When I politely declined and said I don’t do anything without a social, I was told this is a sex site or hadn’t I realised!
It’s people like this that make us fab weary and I agree I find clubs or organised socials a better way to meet now. "
I've just had similar, along the lines of
Hey I have a girl. We'd love to meet and she'll lick you and I'll fuck you. I replied saying this is inappropriate to be told 'this is a sex site, don't know why you're here'
The user of course a two line silouhette non verified profile.
Just like that |
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To be honest I just use fab as a way to look at the swinging club/events section to see what events are going on that I might fancy going along to & read the forum threads. Never had any successful meets off fab. Have meet a few people for socials & found I wasn’t sexually attracted to them in real life. Therefore best to stick to club meets in my view as you can find out there & then if folks are respectful & whether there is a physical spark. Saves time wasting. Plus I prefer the specific BBW events as I have found I have had more success in playing there than at normal events. Particularly the events where they are great socially but mainly couples & not many single guys there interested in my body type |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone
"
This sums up most of the issue for me. SAFE!
We already have to take an obscene amount of precautions just to meet a new person for a coffee or to walk 5 mins down the road at night. If message is interesting, engaging, non-sexual and shows only green flags, I will reply. Otherwise, it's a complete waste of my time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It takes time to feel safe. So I don't get the OP. I put in the effort with those I find attractive. It does pay off.
*shrugs* just my experience. "
Your experience, great. The op is about not getting to the point of meeting ppl because the things they send is thirsty, ie demanding action off the bat. Therefore I'm not gonna get to know them to feel safe enough to meet them.
That's my experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so it's not quite a help me I can't get meets thing, it's more the perspective.
People assume, as a single female who is bi, as in the unicorn, that we rule fab. Not really. And this isn't me saying it, I have met some lovely unicorns who struggle too.
People ask where the single females are and it's usually, we've hidden, taken a break or literally just become immune to messages, or seen that many dick pics, were immune.
Not everyone is like this, there are some decent ppl and if you see my profile I have 70 veris. That spans 7.5 years with a lot being social meets at events and clubs.
I don't meet many people thru fab purely because of the thirsty messages. Some are not even fit to reply to. Vulgar, disgusting and from a safety perspective no.
If someone expects it or sends a graphic, fuck now, come suck me or I'll come fuck you like a whore, (that was yesterday btw) I instant delete. Then when you explain the message is not really for me you get I was joking or you're really up yourself.
So this is a parallel to help me I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone
There must be a middle somewhere.
Finally, I don't seek pity, I am explaining where the single fems may be. Hidden or breaking.
Clubs are far easier "
I could have written this myself. Its so wearing and hard work to arrange a meet. It’s worth noting that I’ve also been stood up a fair few times too. Which is far from great.
It’s also worth noting that not everyone is for everyone (such is life) and that you don’t need to explain yourself if you’re not interested, yet the responses are questioning and very much in line with ‘well why are you on here?’ |
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Totally agree OP.
Apparently being a unicorn means you’re available for everyone all the time! This isn’t the case. I have a very busy life outside of FAB and I’m here to get my own kicks not someone else’s. I do laugh at most of the messages but some, even for me are totally unnecessary.
I’ve only just returned to FAB after 8 years away and tbh it’s just the same. Sorting the wheat from the chaff. However there are some lovely pics here so perving is really nice  |
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Ladies, you do have the power on Fab...and in life...sexually at least.
But you need to weald it for yourselves.
Block all men from messaging you. Which cools the dm box. Then go shopping. Browse the guys and find the ones whose profiles interest you. A wink and they can message.
At least then, if you get a shite message, its from a guy you fancied and you can cross him off your list.
Make fab work for you. Don't let the deluge of crap dampen your experience.
Those lady friends of mine who have done this find they are less stressed. A glass of wine and a meander through your hotlist is way better than trawling through 600 monosyllabic grunts from vest wearing fucktards.
Just a thought and not me telling anyone how to run their profile.
However, a couple miss the attention and unblock men.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some very relevant information here from the OP and responses we might add from the ladies/couples.
OP would not say its just yourself or the unicorns (not keen on the trem) that get this experience it's about the same from our couples profile and Mrs F stopped using her single one and pretty much lost all interest in using her solo bi female one. During the pandemic it seems to have gotten worse by our impressions.
Seems futile online thease days even as a couple. It's pretty much tumble in activity/response/reply from the couple/females and verges on the inappropriate, lacking and clearly didn't read the profile at all off the ever growing population of men (not going to use the term single as would seem well over half in our age group seems to be playing away  )
Club scene seems to the opposite and meny people we have spoken to complain on the status quo online side and get the impression that there's an ever increasing amount of off fab networking via chat apps that can give the impression on cliques forming.
Though we are interested in meeting with the single bi female we tend not to approach online as some get overwhelming amounts of mail/attention of the hoards of single men. We would hope that we might appeal to one, get a wink or short message and we could keenly respond 
Could only surgest to try and set your filters to block the unwanted and put it out there on status's and meet requests or reach out to any profiles that might take an interest. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I appreciate the responses
Sometimes I'd like the 1 on 1 outside of a club.
I also don't think it's fair to cancel all single m due to a few idiots.
It's not fair to us as women
Or the nice ppl that can string together a good message. It's hard enough here without blocking or being blocked from profiles off the bat X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For balance, not everyone wants to go to clubs and still manage to meet safely "
It takes a lot of sifting and deleting to get a message worth meeting outside of a club
I'd say in % reviewing my varies, I bet 15% of ppl I met are outside clubs. So of 70 ppl in 7 years maybe 10 |
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"
IF, and only IF you go to a club with the right attitude, then YES clubs are an ideal introduction for single guys. The guys who go and socialize, are polite, well presented and friendly get on well.
Those who walk round wanking or trying to join in without even speaking, don't!"
The ones who don't even speak can be far preferable to the ones who detract from the action by starting conversations about prestige cars! |
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Nail on the head there op , we have become so fed up of the “meet now” “hi babes you would look good with my cock in you “ messages and the fact people Completely ignore that we are a couple is driving us up the wall to say the least . You are not alone tho as we know a good few people leaving because of the disgusting attitudes of sorry to say it chaps but MEN on this site |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
I 100-percent relate to the OP and many others on this thread.
When I started using fab I would arrange meets, and I found that it really wasn't a good investment of my time, although it took me years to realise this.
Often people didn't match their profile or they just wasn't a vibe, when I finally got to meet them, after months sometimes of chat, or I would never get to meet them as so much of what they were saying was not true. Sometimes they would feel guilty and have actually bonded with me and tell me who they really are and show me actual pictures but because they have started the interaction with deception there was nothing for me there.
Now I just go to clubs with absolutely no expectations, and just chat to whom ever happens to be there and see how we get along, I find that a much better use of my time and regardless of anything I know I'm going to enjoy the night and the liberation of being in a club.
Fab is wonderful for me now, just to keep in touch with the fabulous people I've met in person at clubs and parties, or to see which events are on. |
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"I 100-percent relate to the OP and many others on this thread.
When I started using fab I would arrange meets, and I found that it really wasn't a good investment of my time, although it took me years to realise this.
Often people didn't match their profile or they just wasn't a vibe, when I finally got to meet them, after months sometimes of chat, or I would never get to meet them as so much of what they were saying was not true. Sometimes they would feel guilty and have actually bonded with me and tell me who they really are and show me actual pictures but because they have started the interaction with deception there was nothing for me there.
Now I just go to clubs with absolutely no expectations, and just chat to whom ever happens to be there and see how we get along, I find that a much better use of my time and regardless of anything I know I'm going to enjoy the night and the liberation of being in a club.
Fab is wonderful for me now, just to keep in touch with the fabulous people I've met in person at clubs and parties, or to see which events are on."
Spot on!! 100% agree with this. I use fab for exactly the same purpose, keeping up with folks I already know & checking out club events |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Sorry to hear what single ladies have to put up with..I don't know why rude messages doesn't get people banned.
I found fab really hard work until I went to an organised social ...and met lots of nice people
I would add , I'm sure most of these single guy profiles are males, but I have discovered a couple of couples running other fake profiles ...they get a kick out of messing people about
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**So this is a parallel to help me I can't get a meet from your average male, the response is I can't get a decent message that makes me feel safe enough to meet someone**
Completely agree with this. Majority of men just have no idea about we as women have to think about to be safe. |
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Yep the irony is despite the ratios the right guys are very illusive. As a couple me and My Girl find it incredibly difficult (almost impossible) to find the right guy for a 3some. However we've have (despite the ratios) far more success finding the right women who just have the right shared chemistry and just get it. And I know My Girl very rarely finds a guy that intrests her on here. |
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