FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Making me feel like a c@&t
Making me feel like a c@&t
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would tell him to wait a little while longer for his balls to drop before he carries on talking as all he seems to be doing is digging a bighole for him self ...if that fails get your hubby to nut him ..that should shut him up  |
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That is harassment - even though he's not asking for sex himself - he is making your life a misery just because of your preference - would that type of behaviour be tolerated if you were gay and he was making comments about that choice? Even though you are in a small environment, he needs to be told that either he stops or you report him. Whether that is to higher management or, if necessary, the police - it will be reported if he doesn't stop with his insults, and insinuations -oooooohhh it makes my blood boil  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!! "
Record him with your phone, then tell him you are going to report him for sexual harassment or actually report him. That should solve it. |
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!! "
sexual harrassment sweets..threaten him with it and watch him squirm....what you do in your private life with anyone is your business...and he has no right to try to belittle you because of it.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ahhhh thanks for replys feel much better - hubby knows and is not happy we have a works do sat so that shud be interesting - told hubby we both rise above him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Next time he starts tell him loudly that he's just jealous that you have a much better, more exciting sex life than he does and point out he could get laid more often if he wasn't an obnoxious, gobby little twat. |
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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"Ahhhh thanks for replys feel much better - hubby knows and is not happy we have a works do sat so that shud be interesting - told hubby we both rise above him "
This person either wants you to cave in, or go quietly into the night. Trying to make you feel awkward about something that is beyond the scope of your work is neither clever nor mature, and I think with the up and coming event on Saturday you'd be well both enjoying the evening and demonstrating that he is not getting the effect that he wants from waving this fact in front of your face. If he sees that relatively few others are that put-out by such a revelation, then I'm sure in time the novelty will wear off and he will desist.
If not go down the official channels, but do it oh so quietly that it comes down upon him like a ton of bricks come the time
Good luck and don't let one pathetic wimp spoil your life.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no way I would put up with that.
A couple of people I work with know and there is some friendly but discreet ribbing goes on, but mostly 'cos they are fascinated. Anything more is not on.
Make it clear it is unacceptable and if he carries on then as said above make it official. It would probably get fairly serious fairly quickly for him.
Some people really should not be let out of the house in the mornings  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"he does sound either like a bully or very immature ??? cant make my mind up "
Totally me and a very close work friend think he is a total bully -more than one way to skin a cat though ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is no way I would put up with that.
A couple of people I work with know and there is some friendly but discreet ribbing goes on, but mostly 'cos they are fascinated. Anything more is not on.
Make it clear it is unacceptable and if he carries on then as said above make it official. It would probably get fairly serious fairly quickly for him.
Some people really should not be let out of the house in the mornings "
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Tell him this site is for over 18's and he should not be looking at sexually explicit material at his agr! Or you should ask him and his G/F over for dinner.....oh yeh I bet he don't have one!
Bigots like this should be made to feel out of the norm, rather than normal folk who enjoy sex. Christ, I bet he believes that women should not be Bishops either!!
Happy swinging guys, long live the revolution!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"he does sound either like a bully or very immature ??? cant make my mind up
Totally me and a very close work friend think he is a total bully -more than one way to skin a cat though ! "
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Good Luck and i Hope you really put this bastard in his place..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell him this site is for over 18's and he should not be looking at sexually explicit material at his agr! Or you should ask him and his G/F over for dinner.....oh yeh I bet he don't have one!
Bigots like this should be made to feel out of the norm, rather than normal folk who enjoy sex. Christ, I bet he believes that women should not be Bishops either!!
Happy swinging guys, long live the revolution!
"
your right no GF lol you lot are making perfect sence now ! |
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As your colleagues know, then it's out in the open so inform him that you will report him for work place bullying and sexual harassment. If you can try to get a witness or a recording although the recording will not be allowed in any official process be cause you recorded it without his consents.
But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making"
Even so it still does not excuse it and there is no reason to put up with it.
It is beyond inappropriate and personally I would see the little toerag out of the door with P45 in hand for it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As your colleagues know, then it's out in the open so inform him that you will report him for work place bullying and sexual harassment. If you can try to get a witness or a recording although the recording will not be allowed in any official process be cause you recorded it without his consents.
But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making"
Mmmmmm he doesn't know I'm on here but I'm not worried bt what me and hubby do just don't want to be called a prositute |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making
Even so it still does not excuse it and there is no reason to put up with it.
It is beyond inappropriate and personally I would see the little toerag out of the door with P45 in hand for it. "
That's my aim |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"he does sound either like a bully or very immature ??? cant make my mind up
Totally me and a very close work friend think he is a total bully -more than one way to skin a cat though !
.
Good Luck and i Hope you really put this bastard in his place.. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making
Even so it still does not excuse it and there is no reason to put up with it.
It is beyond inappropriate and personally I would see the little toerag out of the door with P45 in hand for it.
That's my aim "
Well stay calm, Report it, make a record of everything that happens next and keep reporting it, Tell him clearly it is unacceptable when others are there, don't be alone with him, don't retaliate and keep your hubby away from him.
Take it slowly and you will get him. Lose your rag or rush it and he may squeeze out the net |
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"As your colleagues know, then it's out in the open so inform him that you will report him for work place bullying and sexual harassment. If you can try to get a witness or a recording although the recording will not be allowed in any official process be cause you recorded it without his consents.
But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making
Mmmmmm he doesn't know I'm on here but I'm not worried bt what me and hubby do just don't want to be called a prositute "
Quite rightly so. You aren't a prostitute and even if you were its none of his business, narrow minded little low life that he is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!!
sexual harrassment sweets..threaten him with it and watch him squirm....what you do in your private life with anyone is your business...and he has no right to try to belittle you because of it...."
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"
Well stay calm, Report it, make a record of everything that happens next and keep reporting it, Tell him clearly it is unacceptable when others are there, don't be alone with him, don't retaliate and keep your hubby away from him.
Take it slowly and you will get him. Lose your rag or rush it and he may squeeze out the net "
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Record him on your phone, have him for sexual harrassment. Do it quietly and officially. Be civil at work, and professional. Then when it comes to pass that they are questioning him, he will shit his pants! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just tell him you have a 60 year old mate who wants to roger him senseless and see how he likes that idea. Infringement of your personal life? Yes, possibly. Sexual harassment? Yes, definitely. A case of an immature runt who needs to get laid at home before he ventures out into the real world? Yes, absolutely.
I will happily pay him a visit on your behalf so you and your fella can have a good time on Saturday. Just forget about him and his sexual inferiority complex. If he is not man enough to admit that he enjoys sex then he should not be permitted to breathe (or breed) IMHO....
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By *EXY50ishWoman
over a year ago
Anywhere and nowhere |
"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!! "
I told my oldest and best friend, she really didn't understand. She said I was cheapening myself and I was worth more than that. He's maybe not being horrible some people just genuinely don't understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why we decided to keep our private life '- private' It is nobodies business what we do in our spare time. We would never tell friends, how ever close we may be, family or work colleagues, a recipie for disaster !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell him that you want to have a shag with him and to be stripped off in a secret place ready for you at xxx o'clock.
Then turn up with the boss and work mates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why we decided to keep our private life '- private' It is nobodies business what we do in our spare time. We would never tell friends, how ever close we may be, family or work colleagues, a recipie for disaster !! "
.
. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he's very new at your company then he's invariably going to be under scrutiny as part of his probabtionary period.
Have a quiet word with one of your bosses and simply explain he's overstepping the mark with inappropriate comments. You have no need to explain further, especially if you have indeed recorded a comment by then. In the meantime, get your friends also to report him for the inappropriate remarks he has made to you - again there is no need for them to be specific: it should suffice that they found the comments in bad taste and upsetting. Your company is obliged by law to take this very seriously and should take this further.
Above all, say nothing to him about this either at work or at the works party, other than explaining you find his comments inappropriate and you'd like him to stop.
Having trained people in dignity and diversity at work, I know only too well from experience how upsetting these people are but that same experience has invariably seen swift disciplinary action, particularly at my company.
It simply isn't tolerated.
Good luck (tell hubby to keep his hands by his side  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is why we decided to keep our private life '- private' It is nobodies business what we do in our spare time. We would never tell friends, how ever close we may be, family or work colleagues, a recipie for disaster !!
.
. "
i agree
if you tell people about your private life they will have an opinion and your not always going to like it
in my opinion your private life is best kept just that |
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"Just tell him you have a 60 year old mate who wants to roger him senseless and see how he likes that idea. Infringement of your personal life? Yes, possibly. Sexual harassment? Yes, definitely. A case of an immature runt who needs to get laid at home before he ventures out into the real world? Yes, absolutely.
I will happily pay him a visit on your behalf so you and your fella can have a good time on Saturday. Just forget about him and his sexual inferiority complex. If he is not man enough to admit that he enjoys sex then he should not be permitted to breathe (or breed) IMHO....
"
Do NOT engage in any form of banter other than to advise if he doesn't stop you'll report him, do NOT be alone with him if at all possible!
Forget all this twat him shit as its you who'll end up in deep do do! |
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"Ahhhh thanks for replys feel much better - hubby knows and is not happy we have a works do sat so that shud be interesting - told hubby we both rise above him "
Remember a works do is just like being at work so behave responsibly, you're a representative of the company when out and about at work related functions.
Just hope this individual fucks up and then you have him by the short and curlys |
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"If he's very new at your company then he's invariably going to be under scrutiny as part of his probabtionary period.
Have a quiet word with one of your bosses and simply explain he's overstepping the mark with inappropriate comments. You have no need to explain further, especially if you have indeed recorded a comment by then. In the meantime, get your friends also to report him for the inappropriate remarks he has made to you - again there is no need for them to be specific: it should suffice that they found the comments in bad taste and upsetting. Your company is obliged by law to take this very seriously and should take this further.
Above all, say nothing to him about this either at work or at the works party, other than explaining you find his comments inappropriate and you'd like him to stop.
Having trained people in dignity and diversity at work, I know only too well from experience how upsetting these people are but that same experience has invariably seen swift disciplinary action, particularly at my company.
It simply isn't tolerated.
Good luck (tell hubby to keep his hands by his side )"
It simply isn't enough to say inappropriate behavior as you will have to qualify the comments otherwise how do they decide if it is inappropriate.
If he's new he'll probably be in a probationary/trial period so he's unlikely to want to be reported.
To be honest only you can know if he's being malicious as he may think his comments are funny, it's a difficult situation but just saying STOP enough is enough or I'll report you may have the desired effect.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How does he know you are a swinger...is he on here himself??????"
No people gossip at work it's come out which I'm not fussed about to me it's no big deal but to some I Spose it is ! |
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"This is why we decided to keep our private life '- private' It is nobodies business what we do in our spare time. We would never tell friends, how ever close we may be, family or work colleagues, a recipie for disaster !! "
You think?!! 
Whilst I don't agree with harrassment of any kind, when you don't keep your private life private what do you expect?!!  |
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest "
Dont get anything off your chest whilst at work....
It will make it worse
as nice as your chest is you must keep it covered at work or all hell will let loose....
laughter is the best medicine  |
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"How does he know you are a swinger...is he on here himself??????
No people gossip at work it's come out which I'm not fussed about to me it's no big deal but to some I Spose it is ! "
I feel for you, after what's happened. With hindsight though, it's a lesson learnt in keeping your personal life, private. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's very new at your company then he's invariably going to be under scrutiny as part of his probabtionary period.
Have a quiet word with one of your bosses and simply explain he's overstepping the mark with inappropriate comments. You have no need to explain further, especially if you have indeed recorded a comment by then. In the meantime, get your friends also to report him for the inappropriate remarks he has made to you - again there is no need for them to be specific: it should suffice that they found the comments in bad taste and upsetting. Your company is obliged by law to take this very seriously and should take this further.
Above all, say nothing to him about this either at work or at the works party, other than explaining you find his comments inappropriate and you'd like him to stop.
Having trained people in dignity and diversity at work, I know only too well from experience how upsetting these people are but that same experience has invariably seen swift disciplinary action, particularly at my company.
It simply isn't tolerated.
Good luck (tell hubby to keep his hands by his side )"
As a shop steward this advice is spot on |
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"If he's very new at your company then he's invariably going to be under scrutiny as part of his probabtionary period.
Have a quiet word with one of your bosses and simply explain he's overstepping the mark with inappropriate comments. You have no need to explain further, especially if you have indeed recorded a comment by then. In the meantime, get your friends also to report him for the inappropriate remarks he has made to you - again there is no need for them to be specific: it should suffice that they found the comments in bad taste and upsetting. Your company is obliged by law to take this very seriously and should take this further.
Above all, say nothing to him about this either at work or at the works party, other than explaining you find his comments inappropriate and you'd like him to stop.
Having trained people in dignity and diversity at work, I know only too well from experience how upsetting these people are but that same experience has invariably seen swift disciplinary action, particularly at my company.
It simply isn't tolerated.
Good luck (tell hubby to keep his hands by his side )
As a shop steward this advice is spot on"
I'd do exactly what the OP says. Great advice, this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If he's very new at your company then he's invariably going to be under scrutiny as part of his probabtionary period.
Have a quiet word with one of your bosses and simply explain he's overstepping the mark with inappropriate comments. You have no need to explain further, especially if you have indeed recorded a comment by then. In the meantime, get your friends also to report him for the inappropriate remarks he has made to you - again there is no need for them to be specific: it should suffice that they found the comments in bad taste and upsetting. Your company is obliged by law to take this very seriously and should take this further.
Above all, say nothing to him about this either at work or at the works party, other than explaining you find his comments inappropriate and you'd like him to stop.
Having trained people in dignity and diversity at work, I know only too well from experience how upsetting these people are but that same experience has invariably seen swift disciplinary action, particularly at my company.
It simply isn't tolerated.
Good luck (tell hubby to keep his hands by his side )
As a shop steward this advice is spot on
I'd do exactly what the OP says. Great advice, this! "
Again great advice. A similar thing happened to a female work colleague around this time of year a couple of years ago.
She consulted the HR people and our boss.They hauled the guy in and gave him a warning. At the Christmas 'do' he approached her and made some more inappropriate remarks. This was expected as he hadn't really fully backed off after the warning. The lady had been expecting this, and she secretly recorded their verbal exchanges. The next day she went to the HR & boss again, played them the recording and the guy was called in - then fired on the spot for gross misconduct. Job done. May be worth your while doing the same? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if you do put face pic's on your public profile then this was a problem in the making
Even so it still does not excuse it and there is no reason to put up with it.
It is beyond inappropriate and personally I would see the little toerag out of the door with P45 in hand for it.
That's my aim "
You've definitely got a case as far as harassment is concerned. As others have stated get tangible, presentable evidence.
But to be sure of it going through, surely this thread needs to be stopped- publicising it won't help your cause.
And as lots of people have said already, your husband needs to keeps his cool, braying the idiot wont help your cause Oeither.
As for the idiot himself, he clearly is a very narrow minded immature individual, who probably has very limited sexual experience.
Good luck with it xx |
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!! "
sexual harrasment, criminal offence, duty of care from your employer, so i would report him. If he mentions the swinging, just ddeny it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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heres a long post if you want to read it...
as dredd sed, its the law...
1. Harassment includes behaviour that is offensive, frightening or in any way distressing. It may be intentional bullying, which is obvious or violent, but it can also be unintentional, subtle and insidious. It may involve nicknames, teasing, name-calling, mimicking or other behaviour which is not with malicious intent but which is upsetting. In one case, an offensive remark was not made directly to the employee who was the subject of the remark but it was reported to him by a colleague. This was held to be conduct which violated the employee's dignity . It may be about the individual's sexual orientation (real or perceived) or it may be about the sexual orientation (real or perceived) of those with whom the individual associates.
AND
A worker may be being harassed by colleagues, rather than the employer her/himself. However, the employer is legally responsible for any harassment carried out by one worker against another where this is carried out in the course of employment. Although there have been attempts to interpret 'in the course of employment' in a restrictive way to prevent the employer from being held responsible for the actions of her/his workers, in a particular case the Court of Appeal said that it must be given its everyday meaning, that is, acts done 'while performing, or in connection with, the worker's job responsibilities'
AND
The Employment Appeal Tribunal has decided that harassment during the course of employment can include incidents which take place away from the workplace but at work-related social events. One case involved a woman police officer who was sexually harassed by a colleague at a works leaving party and at a pub after work. Her employer was found to be liable for the actions of fellow workers
AND
Under discrimination law, an employer cannot be held liable for acts of harassment committed by her/his workers if s/he can prove that s/he took reasonable steps to prevent it. In showing that s/he has taken steps to prevent the harassment, the employer will have to show that s/he has actively tried to stop the harassment. Merely having an equal opportunities policy will not be sufficient to show this.
Report him. Follow your works policies/guidelines for greivance, if you feel threatened, stay off work. Tell your manager why you are staying off work. The world is on your side
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"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!!
sexual harrasment, criminal offence, duty of care from your employer, so i would report him. If he mentions the swinging, just ddeny it
"
but why should she deny it, it isn't illegal but harrassing someone for following a legal lifestyle choice is. I don't publicise my sex life but I'm not ashamed of it safe, consensual recreational sex is an enjoyable thing and it's uptight people like this guy that tie us all in knots over sexuality |
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I'm afraid I'd be going for option 1.
It's dark when you leave work.......
"Take that, you little bastard!"
Get hubby to put the little fucker in A&E for a few hours.
Even better, make sure hubby wears a balaclava with 2 eye holes and doesn't say a word.
Then when he turns up for work looking the worse for wear, just smile knowingly........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This guys actions are wrong and impossible to condone. But not as wrong and impossible to condone as all those keyboard warriors saying that giving him a good kicking is the obvious solution. Truly shocking. |
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"I'm afraid I'd be going for option 1.
It's dark when you leave work.......
"Take that, you little bastard!"
Get hubby to put the little fucker in A&E for a few hours.
Even better, make sure hubby wears a balaclava with 2 eye holes and doesn't say a word.
Then when he turns up for work looking the worse for wear, just smile knowingly........"
I don't believe I just read this .....are you really serious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hopefully he will have read these posts and will realise what a tosser he is and leave you alone.....speak to your line manager. What you do in your private life is just that..private.. He is harassing you....your manager has a duty to sort him.....good luck... |
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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago
Manchester and that's all you need to know |
OP document everything he does in a diary with dates and times,go to your nearest CAB show them/tell them and get them to stamp your diary.
This nasty piece of work will think twice if he messes with you again because you have a neutral witness which can be validated if and when you report this matter to HR  |
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This is harrasment. You seem open about your pvt life in that your other colleagues know. perhaps you could solicit their support to get this moron off your back ?
I have no qualms about exposing my sexual life and in your situation i would be tempted to warn the person to stop harrassing or i will make it a police matter. In law this is no different if he were harrassing you because of your religion or ethnic origin. Harrassment is difficult to prove. However i would reccommend buying a pen cam for about £30 and collecting some film and audio of any harrassment before you make any legal move. Failing that i could send some boys round to give him some concrete boots and a dip in the local lake |
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"Next time he starts tell him loudly that he's just jealous that you have a much better, more exciting sex life than he does and point out he could get laid more often if he wasn't an obnoxious, gobby little twat."
Yeah, and then report him for sexual harassment if he does it again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What worries me is that your collegues havent said anything.. In all fairness they should also step up and stop him.. You got a good sexual harrassment case there and if you work for a big company you can get good compensation..
If all else fails nail his cock to the door frame and slam the door on his balls.. That should keep him quiet.. ..
Pisses me off tho when people are like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Record him on your phone, have him for sexual harrassment. Do it quietly and officially. Be civil at work, and professional. Then when it comes to pass that they are questioning him, he will shit his pants!"
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"This guys actions are wrong and impossible to condone. But not as wrong and impossible to condone as all those keyboard warriors saying that giving him a good kicking is the obvious solution. Truly shocking."
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By *r OreoMan
over a year ago
Croydon |
I presume the keyboard warriors here do know that recording someone without their permission leaves you totally open for being sued by him for breaching His rights and will get u in trouble from work regardless of what he has done?
Pull him in a corner. Explain that you will report him if he doesn't stop. If he doesn't you report him and let them deal
You are owed a duty of care by your employer - use that rather then listening to idiots who are advocating violence and an assault charge for your hubby. |
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By *iBlondiWoman
over a year ago
North Cornwall |
"I presume the keyboard warriors here do know that recording someone without their permission leaves you totally open for being sued by him for breaching His rights and will get u in trouble from work regardless of what he has done?
"
Not if its in a public place where legitimately other people could overhear it. In the same way as people can film in the street and there is no grounds for stopping them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds to me like he is a) jealous b) fancies you c) somehow thinking his strategy is going to end up with him getting his leg over with you.
"
Yep Personally, my strategy for dealing with him would involve a lure, a Transit van, a baseball bat and a piece of wasteland (You're in Benfleet - there's loads there! Lol!)
Seriously, the 'moral' of this story is...... DON'T EVER tell workmates what you do in your private life!!!!!
This is NOT this young guys fault (although he is an immature little wanker) - this is the fault of YOUR workmates who YOU trusted with personal information and who betrayed that trust. He got it from somewhere and by your own admission, your workmates know.....
And don't bank on him NOT being on here. Not with your face pics on show, anyway.....
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow thankyou for all ur replies well let me tell u what happened I told my boss who might add is a very close friend of mine and he made him apologies to me face to face - since then he has moved on to bullying other staff - no body likes him and I think he might be looking for a new job come January |
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"This guys actions are wrong and impossible to condone. But not as wrong and impossible to condone as all those keyboard warriors saying that giving him a good kicking is the obvious solution. Truly shocking."
+1
As I said earlier any violence will lead to far greater issues!
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"OP document everything he does in a diary with dates and times,go to your nearest CAB show them/tell them and get them to stamp your diary.
This nasty piece of work will think twice if he messes with you again because you have a neutral witness which can be validated if and when you report this matter to HR "
All they are validating is what's written in the diary! |
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"Wow thankyou for all ur replies well let me tell u what happened I told my boss who might add is a very close friend of mine and he made him apologies to me face to face - since then he has moved on to bullying other staff - no body likes him and I think he might be looking for a new job come January "
Be very glad in the way this was resolved, I would seriously think about who your 'friends' are at work as someone has been muck raking!
Remember it only takes one person to be offended by something to generate a complaint and this pass time for some is morally offensive.
It doesn't matter how much you believe its ok to talk openly about your sex life because some will have issues and those may be deep seated and find what you do abhorrent. Maybe they've swung and had a break up because of swinging, could be religious reasons.
The point being work is not the place for this level of private life to be discussed, you must understand that if you do you can't expect everyone one to understand or agree with you and you should be prepared for the fall out.
He sounds like some one with 'issues' and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't make it through probation!
Tread carefully, you do not wont this going down official routes because there is every chance the possible repercussions won't just effect you.
Bullying it may be, sexual harassment not sure but we all need to hear both sides of any allegations.
It sounds as if this manager has his head screwed on as he knows just how difficult this could become.
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"Wow thankyou for all ur replies well let me tell u what happened I told my boss who might add is a very close friend of mine and he made him apologies to me face to face - since then he has moved on to bullying other staff - no body likes him and I think he might be looking for a new job come January "
Just how close a friend is this manager? Don't tell me you're swinging with a work colleague!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wow thankyou for all ur replies well let me tell u what happened I told my boss who might add is a very close friend of mine and he made him apologies to me face to face - since then he has moved on to bullying other staff - no body likes him and I think he might be looking for a new job come January
Be very glad in the way this was resolved, I would seriously think about who your 'friends' are at work as someone has been muck raking!
Remember it only takes one person to be offended by something to generate a complaint and this pass time for some is morally offensive.
It doesn't matter how much you believe its ok to talk openly about your sex life because some will have issues and those may be deep seated and find what you do abhorrent. Maybe they've swung and had a break up because of swinging, could be religious reasons.
The point being work is not the place for this level of private life to be discussed, you must understand that if you do you can't expect everyone one to understand or agree with you and you should be prepared for the fall out.
He sounds like some one with 'issues' and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't make it through probation!
Tread carefully, you do not wont this going down official routes because there is every chance the possible repercussions won't just effect you.
Bullying it may be, sexual harassment not sure but we all need to hear both sides of any allegations.
It sounds as if this manager has his head screwed on as he knows just how difficult this could become.
I will never discuss my pvt life with wrk colleagues again we have know each other for like 15 years we all socialise together so to me they are my mates but unfortunatley my secret got bk to this guy and shit happened but lesson well and truly learnt now x
"
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
This is abuse. You have no reason to feel ashamed of what you do do - it's not illegal, immoral and it doesn't hurt anyone. However what your colleague is doing is bullying and abusive behaviour and he deserves to be exposed for the coward he is. Let him know that you're not ashamed you're proud and threaten to expose him and he'll soon back down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!! "
Can't the boss just sack him, he's new so he must be on trial, your work mates know you swing and don't say anything but I bet that'll have this dude out the door if they knew what he is saying to you.
Failing that you could just walk up behind him a "trip" with a very large very hot cup of coffee.
An extra hot latte with 5 or 6 sugars will really stick and burn. Accidents happen especially early in the morning, burn burn LOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME"
Well dude I'll face those flames with you because you are completely right.
People give it mouth because they don't get a slap anymore for doing so, and if they do they run to the police.
They could follow you down the road saying all sorts to bait you but the police don't listen to that they'll bang you up while mouthy sod sits at home laughing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME
Well dude I'll face those flames with you because you are completely right.
People give it mouth because they don't get a slap anymore for doing so, and if they do they run to the police.
They could follow you down the road saying all sorts to bait you but the police don't listen to that they'll bang you up while mouthy sod sits at home laughing."
Good luck to them if they report you if you have evidence of abuse or blackmail on their part. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst not work related i had some arseholes who were mf couple kept turning up at house unannounced despite being aware sometime my family visits was fortunate that no one else was here.
When i told them to fuck off they were not happy and said and i quote your house empty now lets fuck.
Needless to say i refused and had like other poster had to use threat of violence not saying i would have but thankfully it worked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME"
Violence is never the answer. It has no place in a civilized society. Most civilized people accept that which is why your post is likely to shot down.
I suspect you think we are all supposed to be in awe of the macho hardman that you are desperately trying to portray yourself as. It is beyond me why anyone would want to present themselves as a violent thugs, but you don't even manage that, you just sound like an immature little boy who really needs to grow up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME"
Someone I used to know threatened a guy with violence who just looked at his girlfriend (this was way back in the 80's). Big BIG mistake.
He was found behind a parade of shops with serious head injuries and, the last I heard, was practically incapable of doing anything for himself and living in a care home.
BEWARE who you go around 'threatening'... It never solves anything and, as in this guys case, can get YOU in a lot of 'bother'...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm really sorry this is going on and it makes me very angry! Grrrr! Get your diary out and write down everything he has said to you and record each event. It's what us managers call letting someone hang themselves slowly. When you have amassed sufficient evidence, go to your boss and watch the world fall out of his arse!
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Excuse the bad language but need to get this off my chest I work in a very close environment by that I mean there is only 5 of us and we work in the same same room - the new boy at work has found out I swing with hubby and whilst this is no big deal with my colleagues it seems to be a huge deal with him to the point were he had cornerd me in the staff room and said " I know a swinger he is 60 do u wanna fuck him " that overlooked - today he continually called me a prositute and says I should charge for what me and hubby do - now I'm cool with opinions but this had totally got my goat !!!!!
Record him with your phone, then tell him you are going to report him for sexual harassment or actually report him. That should solve it."
I completely agree, this is harassment. He should be dismissed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread is old people look at the date and read all the replies It's been resolved, I was half asleep when posting yesterday so didn't look properly. |
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We know, but we all feel the pain, anger and distaste that the OP went through.
Can we not set this guy up on a date... with someone from here...
arrange for him to meet for a drink, yet unbeknown to him he has entered...... a Fab social with a difference.... maybe a few compromising photos, confuse him about his sexuality and leave him a quivering wreck...
Job's a good one!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME
Violence is never the answer. It has no place in a civilized society. Most civilized people accept that which is why your post is likely to shot down.
I suspect you think we are all supposed to be in awe of the macho hardman that you are desperately trying to portray yourself as. It is beyond me why anyone would want to present themselves as a violent thugs, but you don't even manage that, you just sound like an immature little boy who really needs to grow up."
I would add though this guy is completely right. Lmfbo
That's why every "civilised" county trains an army of killers and produces weapons that can level whole towns and buildings, To "protect" us. Or is it just to put on a show of force? Or just to pull someone out off power because they don't like the way they run their country, or want more land.
Our Government preach violence solves nothing, I beg to differ. If two countries don't agree they start killing each other.
Don't tell me violence solves nothing, because it can.
If we got invaded what you gonna do stand their and say don't shoot let settle this over a game of chest.
Or say someone broke into your home in the middle of the night, you gonna hide under the bed? Or grab a bat or your crossbow and protect your family and belonging?
Violence solves nothing, yea right. |
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War between countries is somewhat different to having an annoying arrogant prick causing you an issue in the office. Violence is not the answer, I would rather work with a hungrey lion than those berks that TALK about being violent all the time, it is so boring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"War between countries is somewhat different to having an annoying arrogant prick causing you an issue in the office. Violence is not the answer, I would rather work with a hungrey lion than those berks that TALK about being violent all the time, it is so boring."
Your right but he said "violence solves nothing" when the proof is there that quite often violence can solve problems.
Violence may not solve the ops issue but the saying "violence solves nothing" is completely wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Apologies but I read the OP and wanted to have my say, but I'm at work and don't have time to read complete thread, so apologies if I'm repeating something somebody has said.
Right firstly you say your ok, with people knowing you swing, so I think you should escalate this harassment to your manager, because whatever you do in your own time (legally) is nobody elses concern.
He should at least get a warning, for this harassment, and the lewd comments he is making.
I notice this thread is 5 weeks old, so I hope he isn't still being a pain, if he is there at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME
Violence is never the answer. It has no place in a civilized society. Most civilized people accept that which is why your post is likely to shot down.
I suspect you think we are all supposed to be in awe of the macho hardman that you are desperately trying to portray yourself as. It is beyond me why anyone would want to present themselves as a violent thugs, but you don't even manage that, you just sound like an immature little boy who really needs to grow up.
I would add though this guy is completely right. Lmfbo
That's why every "civilised" county trains an army of killers and produces weapons that can level whole towns and buildings, To "protect" us. Or is it just to put on a show of force? Or just to pull someone out off power because they don't like the way they run their country, or want more land.
Our Government preach violence solves nothing, I beg to differ. If two countries don't agree they start killing each other.
Don't tell me violence solves nothing, because it can.
If we got invaded what you gonna do stand their and say don't shoot let settle this over a game of chest.
Or say someone broke into your home in the middle of the night, you gonna hide under the bed? Or grab a bat or your crossbow and protect your family and belonging?
Violence solves nothing, yea right."
Not getting in to q debate about the rights or wrongs of any of the scenarios you quote, but how do they even compare to the post I was responding to which was basically advocating a good kicking as the optimum solution to someone pissing off his girlfriend? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME
Violence is never the answer. It has no place in a civilized society. Most civilized people accept that which is why your post is likely to shot down.
I suspect you think we are all supposed to be in awe of the macho hardman that you are desperately trying to portray yourself as. It is beyond me why anyone would want to present themselves as a violent thugs, but you don't even manage that, you just sound like an immature little boy who really needs to grow up.
I would add though this guy is completely right. Lmfbo
That's why every "civilised" county trains an army of killers and produces weapons that can level whole towns and buildings, To "protect" us. Or is it just to put on a show of force? Or just to pull someone out off power because they don't like the way they run their country, or want more land.
Our Government preach violence solves nothing, I beg to differ. If two countries don't agree they start killing each other.
Don't tell me violence solves nothing, because it can.
If we got invaded what you gonna do stand their and say don't shoot let settle this over a game of chest.
Or say someone broke into your home in the middle of the night, you gonna hide under the bed? Or grab a bat or your crossbow and protect your family and belonging?
Violence solves nothing, yea right.
Not getting in to q debate about the rights or wrongs of any of the scenarios you quote, but how do they even compare to the post I was responding to which was basically advocating a good kicking as the optimum solution to someone pissing off his girlfriend?"
Read my reply above, you said "violence is never the answer" when the proof is there that it can often solve problems, maybe not the ops but violence can sometimes be the answer or only option.
That's what I was picking at, one of the most retarded sayings of the modern man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I threatened to shag a guy when he wouldnt shut up about it (andy here)
He leaves me alone now. Well alone.
The quickest and easiest route in my opinion, and i will get flak for this, is the threat of violence.
Seriously if your husband threatens him he will stop.
Amy was gettin hassle off a single guy i threatened with violence he will stop
Sometimes violence is the answer and the wee shit wont abuse you if he thinks your husband will hit him with a car for doing so.
Im now ready to get flames COME AT ME
Violence is never the answer. It has no place in a civilized society. Most civilized people accept that which is why your post is likely to shot down.
I suspect you think we are all supposed to be in awe of the macho hardman that you are desperately trying to portray yourself as. It is beyond me why anyone would want to present themselves as a violent thugs, but you don't even manage that, you just sound like an immature little boy who really needs to grow up."
Violence is quite often the answer its all around us. The police frequenty have to use violence to resolve matters. The more shady member of society use violence to get what they want and often do.
Billions is spent a year on military
Im sorry if the notion of violence offends you but its everywhere in nature and humanity.
Violence solves alot of issues i have found that out myself through personal experiance for instance growin up in school i was heavily bullied. I was always fed the line violence solves nothing tell the teachers and nothing happened, to the point i was assaultes by 14 boys when i was only 11 years old
One day i cracked and started smacking anyone who tried to bully me, and it stopped. Completely.
Anyome that tried in high school i would fight with and wether i won the fight or lost the bullying would stop.
Also the threat of violence has resoved issues with threatening behaviour, and with threatening males on here towards me or amy. Saying violence is never the answer is thinking in a utopian fairy happy world and is far removed from reality and your attempts to paint me out as an immature boy and/or thug is down to your fear of violence or ignorance to the fact violence plays a part in human culture. I have faced violence growing up and through my work its a part of life
Deal with it and stop flinging insults my way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Also the threat of violence has resoved issues with threatening behaviour, and with threatening males on here towards me or amy."
I'm not sure what shocks me more, that you admit to threatening people on here, or that you think there is an online scenario where responding with threats of violence is the best way to go? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Violence towards the guy in question definitely won't resolve the situation.
Although it would feel good!!
But the whole situation could probably escalate even more so!
The guy in question sounds like a very immature and jealous individual, who is hoping you will probably drop your knickers for him.
I reckon the best option is to just ignore the jibes from him or even laugh it off.
Try making him feel as small as he's making you feel.
I can guarantee that once you attack his 'manhood' he will soon be afraid to say anything to you!
Hope it works out for you either way!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Also the threat of violence has resoved issues with threatening behaviour, and with threatening males on here towards me or amy.
I'm not sure what shocks me more, that you admit to threatening people on here, or that you think there is an online scenario where responding with threats of violence is the best way to go?"
the notion that amy may have met someone, and the meet may have not gone as planned, and he may have hassled or tried to blackmail her into sex and me responding with potential violence shocks you? |
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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago
Northwood |
It's so refreshing to see that the majority of comments are shocked and horrified at the comments regarding violence.
We realty all do have our moral compass pointed in the right direction *satisfied expression* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's so refreshing to see that the majority of comments are shocked and horrified at the comments regarding violence.
We realty all do have our moral compass pointed in the right direction *satisfied expression* "
you wouldnt defend and protect those you loved from people who are acting like predators?
ok then |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For the past 5 weeks I've read this post as 'Making me feel like a coat'.....
Lol yes it does look like that it shud have been " C#&T " ! "
Grrrre now that looks Like ChaT FFS ! |
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