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General Advice
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
Hi to all who post in this thread.
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why. Having been born with a cleft lip and palate I have never felt like I am that attractive compared to some people on here. But I seem to spend more time writing a polite message and getting blocked or message deleted. I like to make a connection with someone in a chat.
I am not like others who apparently send dick pics in their first message either.
So to the people of fab I ask for advice because I think the whole of the North East has pretty much given up on me  well at least that is how it feels anyway, I have a lot to offer and a lot to learn as well. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
It is really hard to meet people online compared with going to a club or a social. My suggestion would be get yourself out there to a local organised social or a club and meet people in person.
In my opinion this site should be a tool in your swinging tool kit and not the only thing to rely on when trying to embrace the lifestyle.
The cleft palette would not bother me at all.
Good luck and get out there! |
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"
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why. "
Your profile says you are owned and all meets need to be arranged by your owner. I think people may find this offputting or not know how to arrange meets with you. |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why.
Your profile says you are owned and all meets need to be arranged by your owner. I think people may find this offputting or not know how to arrange meets with you. "
That was recently added, but struggles have been there before that got put on. |
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"
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why.
Your profile says you are owned and all meets need to be arranged by your owner. I think people may find this offputting or not know how to arrange meets with you.
That was recently added, but struggles have been there before that got put on."
I’m confused because you’re profile now says you’re 100% single?
Your profile is nice and friendly and you have a variety of pics. Without seeing how you’re trying to interact with others it’s hard to know if there’s any issue there, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or your profile.
As someone said above, trying to use only Fab to meet people is really hard. Getting out and about to socials and clubs will really help.
Are you taking the time to read peoples profiles to see if you’re what they’re looking for before reaching out? This is often where people fall down I think, they focus purely on what they want, rather than who might want them. |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why.
Your profile says you are owned and all meets need to be arranged by your owner. I think people may find this offputting or not know how to arrange meets with you.
That was recently added, but struggles have been there before that got put on.
I’m confused because you’re profile now says you’re 100% single?
Your profile is nice and friendly and you have a variety of pics. Without seeing how you’re trying to interact with others it’s hard to know if there’s any issue there, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or your profile.
As someone said above, trying to use only Fab to meet people is really hard. Getting out and about to socials and clubs will really help.
Are you taking the time to read peoples profiles to see if you’re what they’re looking for before reaching out? This is often where people fall down I think, they focus purely on what they want, rather than who might want them. "
Yeah stated that I was 100% and not in a relationship or anything as I cannot accomodate. I would like to go to a club but would like to go with someone rather than on my own. |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"I see you have removed the section about being owned from your profile. Hopefully you will have more success now  "
One can only hope, like I say, didn't have much luck before hand. But least I know my profiles not the problem. |
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"
I was after some advice, I have been struggling with the site for a couple of years and I am not sure why.
Your profile says you are owned and all meets need to be arranged by your owner. I think people may find this offputting or not know how to arrange meets with you.
That was recently added, but struggles have been there before that got put on.
I’m confused because you’re profile now says you’re 100% single?
Your profile is nice and friendly and you have a variety of pics. Without seeing how you’re trying to interact with others it’s hard to know if there’s any issue there, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or your profile.
As someone said above, trying to use only Fab to meet people is really hard. Getting out and about to socials and clubs will really help.
Are you taking the time to read peoples profiles to see if you’re what they’re looking for before reaching out? This is often where people fall down I think, they focus purely on what they want, rather than who might want them.
Yeah stated that I was 100% and not in a relationship or anything as I cannot accomodate. I would like to go to a club but would like to go with someone rather than on my own. "
Just make sure you’re totally honest. Hiding an important fact like being ‘owned’ and having to ask permission will bring its own problems. |
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"Just make sure you’re totally honest. Hiding an important fact like being ‘owned’ and having to ask permission will bring its own problems.
Noted and removed. "
If the issue of being owned is still a factor maybe it should be left in? |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"Noted and removed.
If the issue of being owned is still a factor maybe it should be left in?"
Its fine, I am not even sure they are on fan to start with so how do you arange something if you can't contact them. |
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Your profile is really good tbh.
The Real problem is there's just too many men on here. It's almost impossible to stand out even if you're absolutely great.
We haven't met anyone on here despite being here for many years. It's just too difficult and time consuming to meet people.
All the people we've met are from clubs. |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"Your profile is really good tbh.
The Real problem is there's just too many men on here. It's almost impossible to stand out even if you're absolutely great.
We haven't met anyone on here despite being here for many years. It's just too difficult and time consuming to meet people.
All the people we've met are from clubs. "
I would love to go to a club, but my anxeity gets in the way of going to a new place, if I was with someone that struck up a conversation with on here I would go as I am with someone I know. |
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It is good you have face photos on your profile and that fact alone differentiates you from most guys on here.
I appreciate that you have a cleft lip but maybe you could include one or more photos which show you smiling or showing some teeth. |
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"Your profile is really good tbh.
The Real problem is there's just too many men on here. It's almost impossible to stand out even if you're absolutely great.
We haven't met anyone on here despite being here for many years. It's just too difficult and time consuming to meet people.
All the people we've met are from clubs.
I would love to go to a club, but my anxeity gets in the way of going to a new place, if I was with someone that struck up a conversation with on here I would go as I am with someone I know."
Going to a club or anywhere alone is intimidating and not for all. It's get given as advice here often, usually by people who are experienced at clubs, outgoing, full of confidence (although I know perhaps they weren't at some stage). The alternative is to find organised socials (might mean travelling a fair bit) or try to get on the list for a house party (many of which are also more social than play) - still intimating but a bit less so. You might also find a localish swingers kik or Telegram chat group. Many are rubbish but some great -good way to get conversations going and quite a few have socials and extra social socials We used to run one and men who would actually attend were quite limited.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile is really good tbh.
The Real problem is there's just too many men on here. It's almost impossible to stand out even if you're absolutely great.
We haven't met anyone on here despite being here for many years. It's just too difficult and time consuming to meet people.
All the people we've met are from clubs.
I would love to go to a club, but my anxeity gets in the way of going to a new place, if I was with someone that struck up a conversation with on here I would go as I am with someone I know."
Your profile is good.
Regarding clubs I understand until 2 nights ago I only attended with my wife K. However as we now have 2 children under 2 finding a babysitter who can manage both is almost impossible so we decided to potentially play separately if a suitable opportunity arises.
So on Wednesday evening I attendes a club as a solo male, yes I was super nervous but the minute I entered I was warmly welcomed. I spoke to a wide range of people throughout the night including those not looking for a solo male and everyone was friendly, warm, interesting and engaging. Later in the evening when play broke out in the public area I was invited to join and had a great time.
If your serious about going to a club then you just need to do it. It's very rare a woman would take a single newbie guy to a club the same applies to a couple. The best you might find is those that will agree to meet you for a chat inside the club if your going.
If your serious about taking this step into the swinging world and don't see it as potentially an easy route to sex (which it most certainly isn't) then as your in the North East like me if you want when the next non members club event comes up I'm happy to meet up and go in with you, introduce you to people and help get you settled.
KJ Mr |
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"Your profile is really good tbh.
The Real problem is there's just too many men on here. It's almost impossible to stand out even if you're absolutely great.
We haven't met anyone on here despite being here for many years. It's just too difficult and time consuming to meet people.
All the people we've met are from clubs.
I would love to go to a club, but my anxeity gets in the way of going to a new place, if I was with someone that struck up a conversation with on here I would go as I am with someone I know.
Your profile is good.
Regarding clubs I understand until 2 nights ago I only attended with my wife K. However as we now have 2 children under 2 finding a babysitter who can manage both is almost impossible so we decided to potentially play separately if a suitable opportunity arises.
So on Wednesday evening I attendes a club as a solo male, yes I was super nervous but the minute I entered I was warmly welcomed. I spoke to a wide range of people throughout the night including those not looking for a solo male and everyone was friendly, warm, interesting and engaging. Later in the evening when play broke out in the public area I was invited to join and had a great time.
If your serious about going to a club then you just need to do it. It's very rare a woman would take a single newbie guy to a club the same applies to a couple. The best you might find is those that will agree to meet you for a chat inside the club if your going.
If your serious about taking this step into the swinging world and don't see it as potentially an easy route to sex (which it most certainly isn't) then as your in the North East like me if you want when the next non members club event comes up I'm happy to meet up and go in with you, introduce you to people and help get you settled.
KJ Mr "
This is so spot on it puts me straight off a man who asks for me to TAKE him to a club makes me feel obligated to stay with him and most of time the male will be expecting play just because you have tried to be friendly.. now asking if I will say hi to him in there is a whole different ball game so get yourself to a club they are more friendly than your led to believe happy to say hi if you go to one im attending on the same night x |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"If your serious about taking this step into the swinging world and don't see it as potentially an easy route to sex (which it most certainly isn't) then as your in the North East like me if you want when the next non members club event comes up I'm happy to meet up and go in with you, introduce you to people and help get you settled.
KJ Mr "
I may take you up on this offer, I do want to get out and meet new people, but having spent so much time alone I find it hard and want to break that part of me and get back out there. |
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Hi, I really don't think a cleft lip would put anyone off.
I've ( Duck ) only been to a club once & the girls that worked there were so lovely, they explained everything, took time to show us around, chatted loads & made us feel really comfortable so if you really wanted to go , get some big girl pants on & go for it, I'm sure you'd be chatting away in no time at all. |
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By *omicNerd OP Man
over a year ago
Northallerton |
"Don't have any advice OP, but that's a cracking Christmas jumper!
I have got two...Winter Soldier and Superior Spider-Man
Great stuff!"
Will see what comes out this year to buy two more...bit bad I can only wear them in december like lol |
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