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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’m a relatively young guy compared to most people on this lovely site. I’m 21 and been talking to a girl for a while now. We connect so well together and been going on dates, they have been going very well, it hasn’t got to that next level yet. Should I leave fab out of respect or does it not matter and I’m just looking to deep into it. Help me out here guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d discuss it with her. What you did before you both met she can’t complain about. If it’s not yet serious then of course you’re both still looking. Anyway, discussing it together will give you a better understanding of each other.
Who knows she may fancy swinging. Or she may dump you. Either way it’s a step forward |
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"I’m a relatively young guy compared to most people on this lovely site. I’m 21 and been talking to a girl for a while now. We connect so well together and been going on dates, they have been going very well, it hasn’t got to that next level yet. Should I leave fab out of respect or does it not matter and I’m just looking to deep into it. Help me out here guys"
I see it as the same as keeping a visible profile on a dating site, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was keeping their options open. It's different if you both agree that you're looking elsewhere while seeing each other or she knows you're on here.
How would you feel if she had a visible profile on fab while seeing you?
I'd say hide your profile, you can ressurect it if things don't work out or she decides to join you.
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"I’m a relatively young guy compared to most people on this lovely site. I’m 21 and been talking to a girl for a while now. We connect so well together and been going on dates, they have been going very well, it hasn’t got to that next level yet. Should I leave fab out of respect or does it not matter and I’m just looking to deep into it. Help me out here guys
I see it as the same as keeping a visible profile on a dating site, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was keeping their options open. It's different if you both agree that you're looking elsewhere while seeing each other or she knows you're on here.
How would you feel if she had a visible profile on fab while seeing you?
I'd say hide your profile, you can ressurect it if things don't work out or she decides to join you.
"
Exactly this x great advice |
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"I’m a relatively young guy compared to most people on this lovely site. "
Age is irrelevant.
I was 22 and my wife 25 when we started all this together. Still swinging together 25 years later.
So dont worry about that.
As for the rest, if you like this girl just be frank and honest with her.
And I mean be honest about it.
Tell her you have got into all this and its something you where enjoying before you met her and you still have an account here. Just explain you haven't done anything since you met her (I assume)and you're willing not to again (again, I assume) if she wants a committed relationship.
She'll either end it there or she wont if she likes you. It's the past is the past kinda thing. But at least she knows and it's not something that could cause issues in a year if it gets serious.
Who knows, it may be something that piques her interest and shes been on here as well.
But seriously....be open and honest, especially with a potential partner you could fall in love with. |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
If things are going great be open and honest with her and remember this site was your past life. if things are going the way you both want then tell her that your going to delete this and do it in her presence unless she wants a slice of the action |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't have it both ways pal, make up your mind regarding monogamy/nonmonogamy and just be honest..more than anyone be honest with yourself because you can't con yourself right? And never ever break a heart or take people who care and love you for a ride..that's fucking awful..never do that young man!!! |
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I prefer someone to be honest with me. Too many fakes out there. Just tell her the truth what you are doing. Or if you feel fab isn't as important as her, hide your profile and don't log back on until you're single again. I wouldn't want to talk to you if i knew you're in this situation so save wasting other people time by hiding your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't have it both ways pal, make up your mind regarding monogamy/nonmonogamy and just be honest..more than anyone be honest with yourself because you can't con yourself right? And never ever break a heart or take people who care and love you for a ride..that's fucking awful..never do that young man!!!"
Actually yes, you can. I agree that it is wrong to hurt people....but there are hundreds of couples on here who have proved you can have both.
Honesty is much more important than monogamy |
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"Can't have it both ways pal, make up your mind regarding monogamy/nonmonogamy and just be honest..more than anyone be honest with yourself because you can't con yourself right? And never ever break a heart or take people who care and love you for a ride..that's fucking awful..never do that young man!!!
Actually yes, you can. I agree that it is wrong to hurt people....but there are hundreds of couples on here who have proved you can have both.
Honesty is much more important than monogamy "
Completely agree. Honesty is what makes our non monogamous marrige work. We wouldn't have lasted together and on the scene for over 25 years unless it was 100% bullshit free with ourselves, each other and anyone we interact with.
But we are not everyone else and everyone else is not like us. Not gonna do the whole "one bad apple thing" but we know ita a lifestyle that attracts some undesirable elements so we do our best to protect ourselves from those. People are people at the end of the day.
Love your or the missus hair colour by the way.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't have it both ways pal, make up your mind regarding monogamy/nonmonogamy and just be honest..more than anyone be honest with yourself because you can't con yourself right? And never ever break a heart or take people who care and love you for a ride..that's fucking awful..never do that young man!!!
Actually yes, you can. I agree that it is wrong to hurt people....but there are hundreds of couples on here who have proved you can have both.
Honesty is much more important than monogamy
Completely agree. Honesty is what makes our non monogamous marrige work. We wouldn't have lasted together and on the scene for over 25 years unless it was 100% bullshit free with ourselves, each other and anyone we interact with.
But we are not everyone else and everyone else is not like us. Not gonna do the whole "one bad apple thing" but we know ita a lifestyle that attracts some undesirable elements so we do our best to protect ourselves from those. People are people at the end of the day.
Love your or the missus hair colour by the way. "
Thank you. It's me talking |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the great advice. Think I’m just going to hide my profile log off for a bit and see where things go. See all you great people maybe never!!! Ps you were all so helpful. |
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"Thanks for all the great advice. Think I’m just going to hide my profile log off for a bit and see where things go. See all you great people maybe never!!! Ps you were all so helpful. "
Good luck to both of you  |
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Sounds like the perfect time in a budding romance to bring up the topic to me.
Early and frank is my style. If she isnt into it, you have a choice to make. If she is, well then you have a fun time ahead of you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m a relatively young guy compared to most people on this lovely site. I’m 21 and been talking to a girl for a while now. We connect so well together and been going on dates, they have been going very well, it hasn’t got to that next level yet. Should I leave fab out of respect or does it not matter and I’m just looking to deep into it. Help me out here guys"
Only you can decide that. |
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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
Slightly different opinion. I am always very open, even on dating sites, that the idea of coming off the site or only seeing one person is something that I’d only consider after dating a while. We date to get to know people. It may not be right for either of you in the end. This is not about being on fab and being sexually non monogamous, this is just about dating people to see where it goes and I don’t see why that can’t be more than one person. As long as everyone is open and no one is hurting.
V x |
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If you're using fab as a hookup site, I agree with posters above - hide or delete your profile.
If you're into swinging (group sex, public sex, open relationship...) then have a conversation about the kinks each of you is interested in. If she wants to explore, show her fab.
If she doesn't share your kinks, you decide whether to go vanilla (and suppress your profile) or end the relationship. |
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"If you're using fab as a hookup site, I agree with posters above - hide or delete your profile.
If you're into swinging (group sex, public sex, open relationship...) then have a conversation about the kinks each of you is interested in. If she wants to explore, show her fab.
If she doesn't share your kinks, you decide whether to go vanilla (and suppress your profile) or end the relationship. "
Agree good thinking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In terms of vanilla dating, I'm very much 'one at a time' and expect the same.
I'm not into this modern idea of 'hedging my bets' between various options -- I'd rather explore one option, see if it works, and if it does not, then explore the next.
To me, anything else can dilute the connection.
However, I'm also not poly and not really a swinger in the traditional sense of the word -- I'm just a bloke who likes sex, and will take my pleasure where I find it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As others advised... Honesty is best shot. In my opinion, if you want to mess around her back, might as well say bye bye. Hope you'll figure it out!
Side note: both me and my gf were rather free before we met and have a lot of history (me... Not so much lol), but we committed to each other and stopped playing. Then eventually talked about options and fantasies so... Skinny guy is back on fab
Good luck, hope you'll make the best choice for both of you guys |
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If she is a similar age to you, I’m gonna say not that understanding and may well run a mile/lack any understanding of it. This lifestyle is still for the minority. Hide profile, explore relationship and see if this comes up. Start a fresh journey together or not  |
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