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Poly relationship where to start.
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Myself and my wife have previously looked in to what a poly relationship is like and all about and if ir is for us but struggle to find where to start. We both would like to find anither couple or female to create a poly relationship with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I imagine it would be like starting a normal relationship just being honest what yous want from the start and taking steps slow. I imagine there are a few open minded people on here who would have considered it |
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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago
most fundamental aspects |
Before you start looking for possible secondaries, have lots of. honest and open conversations between you.
What do each of you have as non negotiables?
How to deal with NRE?
What happens if this or that happens?
Two books that set out things very well are: The Ethical Slut and More than Two.
There are also dedicated sites with a wealth of info. Some easy to get as they are kinda FAQ layouts. You may also see questions there you hadn’t even thought about.
Above all else Communicate with each other at every stage. Unless you have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” set up, which don’t tend to fit into the ethics of ethical non monogamy.
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By *ailandoCouple
over a year ago
manchester |
We have just embarked on this.
So far so good.
Mr has had dates with potential 'others'.
Mrs is still looking for the 'one' but has her eyes on a potential guy.
We are finding that good communication is absolutely crucial.
Since starting this - we have definitely rekindled the relationship. So far so good. |
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By *ailandoCouple
over a year ago
manchester |
"Before you start looking for possible secondaries, have lots of. honest and open conversations between you.
What do each of you have as non negotiables?
How to deal with NRE?
What happens if this or that happens?
Two books that set out things very well are: The Ethical Slut and More than Two.
There are also dedicated sites with a wealth of info. Some easy to get as they are kinda FAQ layouts. You may also see questions there you hadn’t even thought about.
Above all else Communicate with each other at every stage. Unless you have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” set up, which don’t tend to fit into the ethics of ethical non monogamy.
"
Great book recommendations. Ive just read that More Than Two is highly recommended. We will get this one! Thanks |
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Just remember that the male author of More Than Two is an abuser and not all his stories are true. Some things in the book are valid but I recommend reading more by Eve by herself (the female author) or with other poly writers she colabs with. |
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"Just remember that the male author of More Than Two is an abuser and not all his stories are true. Some things in the book are valid but I recommend reading more by Eve by herself (the female author) or with other poly writers she colabs with. "
Very, very valid and important PSA |
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We have been in a 3 relationship now for nearly 8 years .My husband gets to do what he likes and I have a full time lover. My lover is married ,she knows all about us .Me and my husband to the outside world look just like any other married couple. I see my lover nearly every weekend and a couple of times during the week .He is more out there but it all works for us xxx We kind of fell into this relationship really but its great.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are looking for others to join us in a loving poly relationship. But finding it difficult getting to meet others who would join our lifestyle xx"
Always happy to chat with fellow Poly people! I know how it is, so would be great to chat about our experiences! |
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"We are looking for others to join us in a loving poly relationship. But finding it difficult getting to meet others who would join our lifestyle xx"
I don't know why you would have thought it would be easy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are also lots of different varieties of polyamory to consider,
me and the wife kind of just fell into a polyamorous relationship when she fell in love with someone else, I'm not going to lie, it was really hard to start with but as we have moved forward in the right direction it has become easier for us both, learning as we go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And for those looking for someone else to join them in there relationship this looks like it might be a good place to start.
https://www.theunseenlounge.co.uk/events/unseen-lounge-poly-speed-date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Omg this looks amazing, thanks for sharing x "
Your welcome, I attended a social they held back in February and it was absolutely amazing with so much effort going into it. |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Myself and my wife have previously looked in to what a poly relationship is like and all about and if ir is for us but struggle to find where to start. We both would like to find anither couple or female to create a poly relationship with. "
I used to know a thruple it lasted a long time then the extra f decided out was too much of an emo strain. |
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Before splitting me and my now ex partner where both poly for the 8 years of our relationship and it was an amazing time, it can be hard work at times and takes lots of communication between all parties involved but for us it was perfect. Currently I have a single partner who I have a long distance relationship with so am kinda flying solo (with full consent obviously) which still feels a little odd at times, maybe I will find someone local that I click with. |
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We are open to it. Not something we are actively looking for per se but we've been open to the idea of it for years if it happens organically.
Been on the scene long enough and are wise enough to know its always possible that we could meet others that we become attached to.
However since we both agree it would only be another woman in whatever capacity (as a thruple or dating one of us) odds are it will never happen anyway. But never say never and all that.
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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago
Aylesbury |
"And for those looking for someone else to join them in there relationship this looks like it might be a good place to start.
https://www.theunseenlounge.co.uk/events/unseen-lounge-poly-speed-date"
Thank you for sharing! I didnt realise they did these events .. I will have to have a look for more local ones! Looks fantastic  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"And for those looking for someone else to join them in there relationship this looks like it might be a good place to start.
https://www.theunseenlounge.co.uk/events/unseen-lounge-poly-speed-date"
Oh that looks like such a fantastic event! Very cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been in a 3 relationship now for nearly 8 years .My husband gets to do what he likes and I have a full time lover. My lover is married ,she knows all about us .Me and my husband to the outside world look just like any other married couple. I see my lover nearly every weekend and a couple of times during the week .He is more out there but it all works for us xxx We kind of fell into this relationship really but its great.
"
That's amazing, congratulations!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been in a 3 relationship now for nearly 8 years .My husband gets to do what he likes and I have a full time lover. My lover is married ,she knows all about us .Me and my husband to the outside world look just like any other married couple. I see my lover nearly every weekend and a couple of times during the week .He is more out there but it all works for us xxx We kind of fell into this relationship really but its great.
"
Thats amazing and gives me hope that my own relationship will continue to work as it does, only difference in our relationship is that the wifes lover doesn't have a wife of his own anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First and foremost, polyamory is definitely not swinging and I WISH fabs would have a dedicated page solely for poly people. I've been incredibly lucky to of had 3 serious polyamory relationships, raging between 9 to 18 months over the years between both swinging and my vanilla experiences and all I can add to this wonderful post is the word "trust" you have to fully trust each other to keep the exclusivity. I've always been their boyfriend, both socially and sexually, everything from shopping to holidays, cooking dinner to wild weekends away. Was I "in love" hmm, hard one, I miss them all individually, I loved what we had together, the freedom, the loyalty and would really like to find a suitable poly couple to share life with again!
Amazing post, thank you!
Nxxx |
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