FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Just can’t seem to ever get a reply.
Just can’t seem to ever get a reply.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?"
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can. "
Fab to us is the same as real life except with the main aim for adult fun.
We only respond to people who at least one of us is physically attracted too..
Boss knows what Greedy likes and Greedy knows what boss likes too.. so it's never a grey area.
But remember for every well thought out message, there is 20 dick pics, 20 blank profiles with just a high, 20 abusive messages, so sometimes it's just a case of your message getting lost.
Keep at it, and jeep you chin up.  |
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"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can.
Fab to us is the same as real life except with the main aim for adult fun.
We only respond to people who at least one of us is physically attracted too..
Boss knows what Greedy likes and Greedy knows what boss likes too.. so it's never a grey area.
But remember for every well thought out message, there is 20 dick pics, 20 blank profiles with just a high, 20 abusive messages, so sometimes it's just a case of your message getting lost.
Keep at it, and jeep you chin up. "
Chat to people like you would meeting someone for first time in a bar! It's amazing how many people respond to respectful messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can.
Fab to us is the same as real life except with the main aim for adult fun.
We only respond to people who at least one of us is physically attracted too..
Boss knows what Greedy likes and Greedy knows what boss likes too.. so it's never a grey area.
But remember for every well thought out message, there is 20 dick pics, 20 blank profiles with just a high, 20 abusive messages, so sometimes it's just a case of your message getting lost.
Keep at it, and jeep you chin up.
Chat to people like you would meeting someone for first time in a bar! It's amazing how many people respond to respectful messages.
"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if it's affecting your self esteem, confidence, and making you feel worthless it may be time to take a step back.
Did you find it hard to chat to people in a club setting? Maybe a group social might be easier to strike up conversation with people?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Most clubs I find have an inner circle of regulars that do seem to be hard to engage with so unless you have a personality that is very confident it can be a tough place to make conversation.
With online dating sites like Tinder, most people judge firstly on instant attraction so if you are not the greatest looking person then you are facing a massive uphill struggle with getting meetings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say you send out 100s of messages, but what is the content of those messages are the all just copied and pasted? Do you send a face pic every time? Since I set up my single guys profile which has been about 5 weeks I have only sent out about 15 messages not including messages to people I have met and spoke to in a club, but those messages I have carefully thought out after reading through the receivers profile and making sure there isn't anything on them that tells me I wouldn't be compatible, I have had a little luck and have sticking up a couple of conversations that are potentially going to turn into meets by doing this, it is really hard on here as a single guy but if you put the effort in reading peoples profiles and coming up with An original opening message, eventually someone might take a shin to you, I wish you the best of luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You me and 100's of other men (and couples) send out numerous messages and it doesn't seem how much effort you put into them, if the other party are not interested for whatever reason, then most of the time you won't get a response (I occasionally get a thanks but no thanks).
Men outnumber women 100s to 1 on here so its a bit of a 'meat market', with women and couples (if looking for a third Male ) being able to pick and choose. There are members who simply like to feel 'wanted/desired' and have no intention of responding. Quite a few just simply like to read and respond to profile posts. Some are simply time wasters and picture collectors for whatever use they need them for (I'll let your imagination do the rest). Your choice is to carry on and hope that one day someone will respond in a positive way (which I'm guessing is what you are really after) or quit the site.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We ignore a huge number of messages on here, because either the sender has not read our profile or they are clearly message carpet bombing numerous people with the same cut and paste message.
Plus there are a large number of guys who have this idea that because we are swingers, they can just send a one line message asking to meet and fuck....tuat never gojng to happen. |
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By *assy MissWoman
over a year ago
Sent to Coventry |
Fab can be a soul destroying place it can be hard work for both males and females albeit for different reasons.
If it’s making you feel miserable, I’d take a break and do something you enjoy for a while |
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OP as many said if it is affecting your self-steam and confidence it might be advisable to have a break. I use very simple strategies when sending messages. At first try to tailor it to their profile, targeted messages tend to have a positive response. Secondly I never checked if the message was read, deleted and if on few days I did not receive any reply I just forget about it.
The odds for single men on this site are exponentially against us so keep your expectations low.
I never send another message to a couple or single female who did not answer the first one even if they keep checking my profile. Their choice, their rules.
I honestly prefer to go to socials and clubs as F2F chats tend to be more interactive. Having said that if you are shy and not capable of approaching or initiating a conversation on these environments the experience can be also disappointing. On my own experience the lifestyle is not for everyone and if you have issues of being rejected swinging may not be for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I'd suggest treating this place as no more than a distraction. If it becomes a chore that has actually got you down over a period of time I'd suggest a significant time away from it.
Search for hobbies out in the real world, something that keeps you occupied and gives you some sort of enjoyment. Once you've got that then maybe and it is only a maybe, give this a go again.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP as many said if it is affecting your self-steam and confidence it might be advisable to have a break. I use very simple strategies when sending messages. At first try to tailor it to their profile, targeted messages tend to have a positive response. Secondly I never checked if the message was read, deleted and if on few days I did not receive any reply I just forget about it.
The odds for single men on this site are exponentially against us so keep your expectations low.
I never send another message to a couple or single female who did not answer the first one even if they keep checking my profile. Their choice, their rules.
I honestly prefer to go to socials and clubs as F2F chats tend to be more interactive. Having said that if you are shy and not capable of approaching or initiating a conversation on these environments the experience can be also disappointing. On my own experience the lifestyle is not for everyone and if you have issues of being rejected swinging may not be for you."
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"Most clubs I find have an inner circle of regulars that do seem to be hard to engage with so unless you have a personality that is very confident it can be a tough place to make conversation.
With online dating sites like Tinder, most people judge firstly on instant attraction so if you are not the greatest looking person then you are facing a massive uphill struggle with getting meetings."
Isn't it the same anywhere?
When all people are looking for is fun, initial attraction means a lot.
So we agree if you aren't that good looking you may have an uphill struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Fab can be a soul destroying place it can be hard work for both males and females albeit for different reasons.
If it’s making you feel miserable, I’d take a break and do something you enjoy for a while "
The thing is fabs can also be addictive, once you get a reply back then you have a buzz and the sexual experience that you find in a club can then make vanilla relationships seem very bland and boring.
Once you have had a taste of a liberating experience then you will find you keep searching for more of the same so keep finding yourself drawn to swingers and or dating sites. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Isn't it the same anywhere?
When all people are looking for is fun, initial attraction means a lot.
So we agree if you aren't that good looking you may have an uphill struggle. "
It’s not that I have a face that looks like it’s been hit with a shovel or anything… it’s more that I struggle with photogenically pleasing photos that help sell my mediocre looks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s simple. The supply far outweighs the demand with relation to single men. So it’s a very tough ‘market’ for a single man.
Imagine if the roles were reversed and you were receiving 10’s (I have even heard of ladies recovering hundreds) of messages everyday. You could choose to be extremely picky.
Your story is not a unique one and seems to be echoed by many. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most clubs I find have an inner circle of regulars that do seem to be hard to engage with so unless you have a personality that is very confident it can be a tough place to make conversation.
With online dating sites like Tinder, most people judge firstly on instant attraction so if you are not the greatest looking person then you are facing a massive uphill struggle with getting meetings."
Are you successful in meeting women in real life i.e away from the Internet like Fab, Tinder etc.
E.g the workplace, a bus stop, in a pub / bar, at events /gigs and all the places were real life mannerisms and personality count?
2nd reading your veri you have been to a number of clubs have you ever been invited to play on one of those visits?
(even for us as a couple note very club visit results in play far from it tbh)
KJ |
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I don't get replies because I don't contact couples or solo women as I know that they get bombarded by messages from hopeful guys.
I say what I offer on my profile and any seeking that can contact me.
My appreciative thanks to those who have done so and the fun times that followed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on and off this site a few times.
In all that time I think I've met about eight people, and only one of those was actually because of this site -- the others just happened to be here already.
Unfortunately (for us men) there are thousands of desperate horndogs, all fighting to be noticed, it does get frustrating trying to stand out, and it does give women the upper hand when it comes to choosing.
That's just the way it is on here and there's no point in moaning about men being predatory and women being fussy -- that's nature.
However, I'm personally not very proactive -- I don't send out a ton of messages and don't actively pursue getting my dick wet.
I'm too lazy to be fighting for attention, and I'm not capable of making a outstandingly titled, custom-made and funny message for every hot woman who catches my eye.
Overall, I've had better results from vanilla dating sites -- and experience has shown me that most women are a bit kinky anyway, meaning that Fabs does not have a monopoly on freakiness.  |
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I personally find it easier to address people here than in real life (ie clubs etc) thats only because i get social anxiety around anyone new/newish. I have managed a couple of meet n greets (even a lucky night) at a club, but mostly talk to people on here 1st as i dont have to 'panic' as such.
Keep your chin up, chat in forums like this, and try the chat rooms too (not talking about the directing ones either) |
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"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can. "
If you feel like you're wasting your life I highly recommend that you find other outlets and hobbies and things outside of work etc.
This whole site/community should just be a bit of fun and fill in the gaps between other stuff imo.
If you feel like you're wasting your life and it is negatively affecting your confidence maybe take a break and focus on other stuff that makes you happy.
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?
Im fully aware that a person has to put in work with the site but I do think that a lot of vanilla people have this misconception that a site like Fabs has an unlimited choice of women that are willing to “party”.
The harsh reality is that you’ll waste your life looking at profiles and sending personal messages that include all the correct secret keywords but still have the same response if you sent a two word message saying “let’s fuck” with an attached photo of your erect penis next to a deodorant can. "
Unsure about this secret keywords treating people as humans without any expectations is a great starting point.some connect very well with others some not as much but some prefer just socials and others just sex no matter who with so their is options.nothing is never made easy but at times you can have a lucky Streak or not so take with a pinch of salt and enjoy the site and hopefully your luck changes |
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"
Isn't it the same anywhere?
When all people are looking for is fun, initial attraction means a lot.
So we agree if you aren't that good looking you may have an uphill struggle.
It’s not that I have a face that looks like it’s been hit with a shovel or anything… it’s more that I struggle with photogenically pleasing photos that help sell my mediocre looks! "
Take an evening out to just take photos... Just try lots of different things , thats all any if us do and I'm sure we delete more than we keep.
But not trying won't improve your photos (which dont exactly draw me in they are a bit meh)
You say you've done clubs. Do social events then.
But as advised if its taking up your life sending so messages
And making you feel like crap
Give it up
Have a break from it and go out into the world
Sometimes it's better than posting like this which again doesn't really help you
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"I very rarely get a reply to my messages. A polite "not for us, thanks" is nice.
The few couples I have met seem to have really enjoyed my company.
I need to update my profile and photos."
It’s purely a numbers problem. There just isn’t time to reply to all the messages we get. We even say in our profile we don’t really want messages from single men unless something special to offer but they keep coming. Try to reply if somebody has clearly made an effort but even then not always possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find a profile that puts others down unappealing. I get frustration and it can be frustrating for all but moaning about numbers on here is an instant turn off for me |
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By *ac31Couple
over a year ago
Halifax |
I do try to reply to messages but if someone just says “hi, let’s fuck” or it’s evident they haven’t read my profile then in honesty - sometimes I won’t take the time to reply. A good introduction will always get a response even if a no thank you. From another perspective I’m fed up of the guys and girls wasting my precious time, why play along if no intention of meeting? If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard “I’m not like that, if I say I’ll meet then I will” then they cancel last minute, don’t make contact again and hide their profile! I’ve met some great people who I still see but there’s a lot of time wasters too. My profile has enough on both in description and pictures to make your mind up if I’m “your type” or not. Please peeps, just don’t waste people’s precious time xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
"
I've experienced the same, tho it's more "I'm afraid that u aren't to my taste". I understand that I ain't a Brad Pitt, but wasn't aware that I'm more Bernard manning. Is what it is I guess....x |
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Are you giving people what they want? Are you showing your physical self appropriately, allowing them to make the right decision?
What are you offering and bring to the party? You explain your view of Fab but don't distinguish yourself from a generic male here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Physical appearance is everything on here despite what the majority say (personality counts - blah blah blah).
If they don’t like the look of you - you get nada !!!!! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Physical appearance is everything on here despite what the majority say (personality counts - blah blah blah).
If they don’t like the look of you - you get nada !!!!!"
Harsh, but true. Just like in the real world.
If I don’t like the photo of the person writing to me, I will not reply. IF the message is nice, etc, I may do and say that I am happy to chat- but that it is unlikely I will meet them. I then get called names, and blocked, haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs. This will get you verifications and your name out there so to speak.
Then when you do write a message it will give you a bigger chance if you are an unknown. A guy with a better reputation to attend these events will have more preference over others. This is mainly because there is a strong likelihood they will turn up and not living in some kind of fantasy world.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs.
"
The long game? I attended my first club close to twenty years ago…. How long a game is a polite and well groomed but ugly guy meant to play?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs.
The long game? I attended my first club close to twenty years ago…. How long a game is a polite and well groomed but ugly guy meant to play?! "
Maybe another 20 years then  |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Are you giving people what they want? Are you showing your physical self appropriately, allowing them to make the right decision?
What are you offering and bring to the party? You explain your view of Fab but don't distinguish yourself from a generic male here. "
EXACTLY THIS. 100%.
There is a secret code and a secret handshake and a secret nod and wink to join the club!
Every single man on this site has a Ford Focus to sell. The limited number of women in this site get offered hundreds of Ford Focuses every day. I guess someone who had a special Ford Focus or really needed to sell an average Ford Focus might approach the process with a degree of effort worthy of the intended goal.
Nothing worth anything is worth nothing.
I would like to think that every lady on this site is special and deserves something more fitting than a complaint that they won’t respond to you. |
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"OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs.
The long game? I attended my first club close to twenty years ago…. How long a game is a polite and well groomed but ugly guy meant to play?! "
Ffs stop the negativity and putting yourself down. It is not attractive at all and won’t help. You’ve got veris, more than most, so keep at it in a positive way. You can’t expect a huge number of meets from here - the numbers are against you - but with a positive attitude you can find fun. With this attitude less so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs.
The long game? I attended my first club close to twenty years ago…. How long a game is a polite and well groomed but ugly guy meant to play?!
Ffs stop the negativity and putting yourself down. It is not attractive at all and won’t help. You’ve got veris, more than most, so keep at it in a positive way. You can’t expect a huge number of meets from here - the numbers are against you - but with a positive attitude you can find fun. With this attitude less so. "
This!! Stop being a Debbie Downer. |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"OP play the long game. Attend parties, socials and clubs.
The long game? I attended my first club close to twenty years ago…. How long a game is a polite and well groomed but ugly guy meant to play?!
Ffs stop the negativity and putting yourself down. It is not attractive at all and won’t help. You’ve got veris, more than most, so keep at it in a positive way. You can’t expect a huge number of meets from here - the numbers are against you - but with a positive attitude you can find fun. With this attitude less so.
This!! Stop being a Debbie Downer. "
“For sale again due to no interest. Can’t give this car away! It’s been for sale for twenty years and not a sniff. It’s not a looker and it’s no different to every other car on the market that can’t be sold. I don’t care what you are looking for so I won’t try and explain why you should take a chance.’ |
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I should add we are close as you know and you winked us. We don’t often do MMF but sometimes want extra men for parties etc. Going to organise a gang bang in September with us, a single lady friend and will want 5 or 6 reliable men (which probably mens having 10 booked to come and crossing our fingers). You could be the sort of person we are looking for but even in a gang bang don’t want negative moaners who might ruin the vibe. This is meant to be fun as enough crap in real life. Sorry if that is brutal. |
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"After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
"
If you are sending out hundreds messages, are you really saying they are personally aimed at the people you are writing to? Are you really reading what people want and thinking you match what they are looking for? Are you really writing specifically to them?
When you say you have sent hundreds of messages, that sounds to me more like a scatter-gun approach with identical copied and pasted messages. Most of the messages we get are like that and they are awful. They deservedly go straight in the bin. Maybe you're not doing that, I don't know, you'd have to tell us.
So tell us what is in the messages you send. That might give lead to some suggestions for improvement. |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"I should add we are close as you know and you winked us. We don’t often do MMF but sometimes want extra men for parties etc. Going to organise a gang bang in September with us, a single lady friend and will want 5 or 6 reliable men (which probably mens having 10 booked to come and crossing our fingers). You could be the sort of person we are looking for but even in a gang bang don’t want negative moaners who might ruin the vibe. This is meant to be fun as enough crap in real life. Sorry if that is brutal. "
It has to be brutal because so many of these posts are the same. They don’t see the very, very fundamental issue they have. This site is for one thing while they think it is for another!
You have to be brutal. It’s up to them if they want to work out why. Which is precisely the point! |
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By *afksedMan
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
If you are sending out hundreds messages, are you really saying they are personally aimed at the people you are writing to? Are you really reading what people want and thinking you match what they are looking for? Are you really writing specifically to them?
When you say you have sent hundreds of messages, that sounds to me more like a scatter-gun approach with identical copied and pasted messages. Most of the messages we get are like that and they are awful. They deservedly go straight in the bin. Maybe you're not doing that, I don't know, you'd have to tell us.
So tell us what is in the messages you send. That might give lead to some suggestions for improvement. "
No! Don’t offer that! I’m all for helping people but how is telling him what to write going to make him honest in what he writes? How is he going to make and offer when he doesn’t realise what an offer is unless you tell him?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you giving people what they want? Are you showing your physical self appropriately, allowing them to make the right decision?
What are you offering and bring to the party? You explain your view of Fab but don't distinguish yourself from a generic male here.
EXACTLY THIS. 100%.
There is a secret code and a secret handshake and a secret nod and wink to join the club!
Every single man on this site has a Ford Focus to sell. The limited number of women in this site get offered hundreds of Ford Focuses every day. I guess someone who had a special Ford Focus or really needed to sell an average Ford Focus might approach the process with a degree of effort worthy of the intended goal.
Nothing worth anything is worth nothing.
I would like to think that every lady on this site is special and deserves something more fitting than a complaint that they won’t respond to you."
Maybe you view swinging like a Swiss Tony sketch from The Fast Show but I just can’t approach it like a used car salesman in a cheap suit from Burtons. |
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"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
"
OP I think when you try to message someone here then remove all your expectations this way you will be able to just shrug it of and move on, but listen this is coming from a couple. If when a man msgs us the first thing we do before opening the msg is check out the profile in detail, if there are verifications we do a trail, this can out alot of people on here..if they have a poor profile, no pics, no context or very little, age range, smoker...everything and even if we aren't happy with just one small thing then we will just quite simply delete it. If there isn't anything wrong with the profile but he has sent unsolicited dick pics or no face pics or has made very little effort in his opening msg or makes it clear he just wants sex chat and is clearly not what we are looking for and we can tell if he has read our profile we just delete. Everyone on fab have to put safety first and this can mean they are very particular over who they engage with. Don't take it to heart, the expectations part is massive though, just remove that altogether |
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"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
"
Then give up. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
Then give up."
The thing is I will have the want for some physical company which means I will only find myself drifting back to the same predicament. |
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"You say you send out 100s of messages, but what is the content of those messages are the all just copied and pasted? Do you send a face pic every time? Since I set up my single guys profile which has been about 5 weeks I have only sent out about 15 messages not including messages to people I have met and spoke to in a club, but those messages I have carefully thought out after reading through the receivers profile and making sure there isn't anything on them that tells me I wouldn't be compatible, I have had a little luck and have sticking up a couple of conversations that are potentially going to turn into meets by doing this, it is really hard on here as a single guy but if you put the effort in reading peoples profiles and coming up with An original opening message, eventually someone might take a shin to you, I wish you the best of luck. "
And for that fella, ypu deserve all that comes your way. Hooe.you have a fab weekend |
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"I've been on and off this site a few times.
In all that time I think I've met about eight people, and only one of those was actually because of this site -- the others just happened to be here already.
Unfortunately (for us men) there are thousands of desperate horndogs, all fighting to be noticed, it does get frustrating trying to stand out, and it does give women the upper hand when it comes to choosing.
That's just the way it is on here and there's no point in moaning about men being predatory and women being fussy -- that's nature.
However, I'm personally not very proactive -- I don't send out a ton of messages and don't actively pursue getting my dick wet.
I'm too lazy to be fighting for attention, and I'm not capable of making a outstandingly titled, custom-made and funny message for every hot woman who catches my eye.
Overall, I've had better results from vanilla dating sites -- and experience has shown me that most women are a bit kinky anyway, meaning that Fabs does not have a monopoly on freakiness. "
very well said |
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"…. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
Then give up.
The thing is I will have the want for some physical company which means I will only find myself drifting back to the same predicament."
Tbh from a couple.
First message is the killer move.
A few I just delete before the wife sees as I know her dislikes and needs.
As above too many one liners. Hi, how’s it going.
Which is treated like a wink.
Little effort gets the same responce.
Check profile to see if anything ticks a box.
Again normally find. “Will fill in later” or a few lines.
Pictures. far too many dick pics only.
As a bloke 10 dick pics does nothing.
Far better to one good pic with others part dressed action/play shoots etc
Remember nobody is the best fuck or dick in the world and try not to try to hard.
Fab tells us if a person been on for years and a profile with little detail puts a lot off.
I get the, why bother? It does kill the heart. But finding good people to be friends with be if it’s is the bonus to make it worth while.
This place responce shoes up and down. Lots of wasters whom wanta meet but then put no effort to meet and just disappear.
My advise to get a verification is go where others are. Nudist beech, club or a party.
Use whos near. Chat and meet up to say hello.
You just never know what happens next but at least it’s movement. In the verifications department.
Never know. You may just click and have 1 or 10 months of bliss/hotdates.
I Wish you well but never give up. We are all after the same thing but we all look for a connection in someway.
Hope it helps.
Hubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Too many people are placing the emphasis on the message content.
If they don’t like your pics you’re unlikely to get a reply even if message was worthy of a literary award. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Too many people are placing the emphasis on the message content.
If they don’t like your pics you’re unlikely to get a reply even if message was worthy of a literary award."
Obviously you need to have baited your profile with decent photos to catch some interest but I hope that my messages offer something with more substance than being a poorly written and crude begging letter that is seeking a quick fuck, as to be honest, we all know that approach is highly unlikely to ever be successful.
I believe that the anticipation of a well planned meet is much more appealing and tends to be more enjoyable too.
|
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"Too many people are placing the emphasis on the message content.
If they don’t like your pics you’re unlikely to get a reply even if message was worthy of a literary award.
Obviously you need to have baited your profile with decent photos to catch some interest but I hope that my messages offer something with more substance than being a poorly written and crude begging letter that is seeking a quick fuck, as to be honest, we all know that approach is highly unlikely to ever be successful.
I believe that the anticipation of a well planned meet is much more appealing and tends to be more enjoyable too.
"
Baited your profile with photos ! It sounds like you are likening fab to going fishing and thats just weird.
You keep talking about the quality of your messages, but people tend to look at the writers profile before they decide whether to reply.
Perhaps there is something in the text of your profile that puts women off? It's great to have preferences, but stating that in the first paragraph, ladies are likely to think, well that's not me, and delete your message.
It's the profile content, photos, verifications,as well as the message that gets replies. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Baited your profile with photos ! It sounds like you are likening fab to going fishing and thats just weird.
You keep talking about the quality of your messages, but people tend to look at the writers profile before they decide whether to reply.
Perhaps there is something in the text of your profile that puts women off? It's great to have preferences, but stating that in the first paragraph, ladies are likely to think, well that's not me, and delete your message.
It's the profile content, photos, verifications,as well as the message that gets replies. "
I know referring to them as bait sounds weird but I wasn’t sure of the correct terminology to use for photos… I have tried to steer clear of displaying any insecure dick pics and generally will always attach a recent face photo with a message.
I’ve taken on board what you mentioned about profile content and had a little edit of the bio so hopefully it now reads a bit better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Too many people are placing the emphasis on the message content.
If they don’t like your pics you’re unlikely to get a reply even if message was worthy of a literary award.
Obviously you need to have baited your profile with decent photos to catch some interest but I hope that my messages offer something with more substance than being a poorly written and crude begging letter that is seeking a quick fuck, as to be honest, we all know that approach is highly unlikely to ever be successful.
I believe that the anticipation of a well planned meet is much more appealing and tends to be more enjoyable too.
Baited your profile with photos ! It sounds like you are likening fab to going fishing and thats just weird.
You keep talking about the quality of your messages, but people tend to look at the writers profile before they decide whether to reply.
Perhaps there is something in the text of your profile that puts women off? It's great to have preferences, but stating that in the first paragraph, ladies are likely to think, well that's not me, and delete your message.
It's the profile content, photos, verifications,as well as the message that gets replies. "
Can I have some advice on mine??
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
Then give up.
The thing is I will have the want for some physical company which means I will only find myself drifting back to the same predicament."
I asked further up but I guess it was lost in the thread.
Are you successful in meeting women in real life OP i.e away from the Internet like Fab, Tinder etc.
E.g the workplace, a bus stop, in a pub / bar, at events /gigs and all the places were real life mannerisms and personality count?
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
I've experienced the same, tho it's more "I'm afraid that u aren't to my taste". I understand that I ain't a Brad Pitt, but wasn't aware that I'm more Bernard manning. Is what it is I guess....x"
You do realise it's a two person situation?! Maybe it's nothing to do with you, maybe it's something the woman just doesn't like. If you take it all personally you'll get ill staying on here. |
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"I've been on and off this site a few times.
In all that time I think I've met about eight people, and only one of those was actually because of this site -- the others just happened to be here already.
Unfortunately (for us men) there are thousands of desperate horndogs, all fighting to be noticed, it does get frustrating trying to stand out, and it does give women the upper hand when it comes to choosing.
That's just the way it is on here and there's no point in moaning about men being predatory and women being fussy -- that's nature.
However, I'm personally not very proactive -- I don't send out a ton of messages and don't actively pursue getting my dick wet.
I'm too lazy to be fighting for attention, and I'm not capable of making a outstandingly titled, custom-made and funny message for every hot woman who catches my eye.
Overall, I've had better results from vanilla dating sites -- and experience has shown me that most women are a bit kinky anyway, meaning that Fabs does not have a monopoly on freakiness. "
What makes me laugh a sad laughter is this assumption of "meat market for men" and "couples/single women have their pick" - how far from the truth that is!
Not to be a Debbie Downer but what is there to pick from? The bar is so low. What is the use of multiple messages if they are all essentially spam? Neither use nor ornament, I assure you.
I know that around 90% of those who message me have not even bothered to read my profile (which I've put a lot of effort in and update regularly) - I could see it as depressing but I just find it absurd, so I treat them like erection pill ads because they are as much use to me.
The lack of effort and the expectation of free sex work is insane. No wonder there are a few "success" stories!
This website can only be in addition of a busy life and not a replacement of it because it would get anyone down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Can I have some advice on mine??
Don't worry. You are a black guy so you can write any old shite and you will find a few ladies and couples "
Couples yes. But im. Not comfortable with. I have to be hungry to have sex with another man's woman. Couples is basically a man. Just with a womens consent! |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
"Were you expecting it to be a "total fuckfest" when you joined?"
You mean, how they used to be?
Finding a site, get invited to join and be one of a few guys in a menagerie of couples and females. Used to take 'bookings' to meet females, single guys were rare that when a new one joined, he was mobbed for "fresh meat".
Petrol was cheap, my record was 2,500 miles in a week making meets. A weeks annual leave of a sex loaded road trip and not a single night in a hotel.
Those really were the days back in the 90's/00's. Internet was new, dogging was a nightly festival and couples came to guys to invite them over for fun.
IQC and MSN Messenger then mIRC. Finding chat servers to list channels and bingo, a whole new community to munch on.
Glad I lived them otherwise I'd have given up here years ago.
Anyone for tennis? |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
Got my first computer on 1991, saw article on the news about a guy in France using the Internet to meet couples.
1992, an uncle asked about car park sex meetings. There was no Google, had to search Compuserve & AOL. Bingo, found three sites within 5 miles and was out every night.
I was 21 then, 52 this year, should I write a book? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You mean, how they used to be?
Finding a site, get invited to join and be one of a few guys in a menagerie of couples and females. Used to take 'bookings' to meet females, single guys were rare that when a new one joined, he was mobbed for "fresh meat".
Petrol was cheap, my record was 2,500 miles in a week making meets. A weeks annual leave of a sex loaded road trip and not a single night in a hotel.
Those really were the days back in the 90's/00's. Internet was new, dogging was a nightly festival and couples came to guys to invite them over for fun.
IQC and MSN Messenger then mIRC. Finding chat servers to list channels and bingo, a whole new community to munch on.
Glad I lived them otherwise I'd have given up here years ago."
This was my experience too -- in my thirties (early 2000s) I was a complete manwhore for a number of years.
Got bored in the end, but for a few years I drove all over the country, like I was on a UK tour, clocked up numbers and had a great time.
Sadly met some complete loonies too, but still funny stories looking back. 
But Internet hooking up was largely a new thing -- people didn't have smartphones, so it was all a bit niche -- you just needed to look reasonably smart, have a little banter, be prepared for an adventure -- and, so long as you didn't copy and paste too much, 9 times out of 10 you'd be noticed.
Before social media there were a handful of profile websites that weren't really for dating, but they still had a hookup vibe about them -- Faceparty, Lookitsme, Feesch and so on -- and with an arsenal of those, a bit of time, and the right Messenger programmes, the world was every single man's oyster.
I have no idea how long this website has been going -- but I don't think I'd recommend it for single guys who just wanna get their dicks wet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I've been on and off this site a few times.
In all that time I think I've met about eight people, and only one of those was actually because of this site -- the others just happened to be here already.
Unfortunately (for us men) there are thousands of desperate horndogs, all fighting to be noticed, it does get frustrating trying to stand out, and it does give women the upper hand when it comes to choosing.
That's just the way it is on here and there's no point in moaning about men being predatory and women being fussy -- that's nature.
However, I'm personally not very proactive -- I don't send out a ton of messages and don't actively pursue getting my dick wet.
I'm too lazy to be fighting for attention, and I'm not capable of making a outstandingly titled, custom-made and funny message for every hot woman who catches my eye.
Overall, I've had better results from vanilla dating sites -- and experience has shown me that most women are a bit kinky anyway, meaning that Fabs does not have a monopoly on freakiness.
What makes me laugh a sad laughter is this assumption of "meat market for men" and "couples/single women have their pick" - how far from the truth that is!
Not to be a Debbie Downer but what is there to pick from? The bar is so low. What is the use of multiple messages if they are all essentially spam? Neither use nor ornament, I assure you.
I know that around 90% of those who message me have not even bothered to read my profile (which I've put a lot of effort in and update regularly) - I could see it as depressing but I just find it absurd, so I treat them like erection pill ads because they are as much use to me.
The lack of effort and the expectation of free sex work is insane. No wonder there are a few "success" stories!
This website can only be in addition of a busy life and not a replacement of it because it would get anyone down."
This pretty much sums up the whole fabs experience. Women get bombarded with messages that are just basically begging letters from desperate men and men are just sitting thinking with their penises hoping to find a easy leg over.
The constant pursuit and hope of that slim chance of finding a sexual relationship from here seems to be a grim and very depressing waste of time for both sexes. |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
Think I've been here at least 17 years at a guess. PeterP and Dirty David's and other sites lpng vanished.
Did it ever occur to you that most the people you met, they likely worked in IT.
Roads trips, they were fun. Getting lasered at 129mph on the A30 to Cornwall to meet two girls that were a couple for a weekend of very naughty fun.
Apart from spending the weekend knowing I was heading to court, managing to mistake the stairs for the toilet door to find myself in a heap behind the front door.
Did go to court, £300 fine and 6 points later. Every trip had a stop at Exeter, Bristol, Gloucester and Cannock - just in case.
Petrol 35p per litre.. it never ended. Petrol strike year was a blast, having been given a fuel priority card, ending up at parties, taxiing couples and females and driving to houses as few others could travel with 3 full Jerry cans in the boot.
Life just ain't fun anymore!!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did it ever occur to you that most the people you met, they likely worked in IT."
As did I
I remember a time when I got a text message saying "Fancy a threesome", and then spend the next hour trying to fake an emergency so I could get away from work.
To be honest, I missed so much work back then I'm surprised I sustained anything, let alone a car.
And then, as I got into my 40s I got bored with it all -- people were blending into each other and it all got a bit much -- and I also wanted to be taken more seriously.
Like, I'd created an online persona of myself, based on being up for a laugh and all about fun -- and as a result women saw me as exactly that, but not as relationship material, and it did honestly get quite lonely and confusing.
Sex addicted on one side, relationship avoidant on the other.
Hmmm...
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
There has definitely been a big shift in the last ten years or so with regards to how harder the whole swingers scene has become.
I remember a time back in the early 2000’s when you could go to a club and get up to all kinds of filthy behaviour with like minded people…., now it’s just nothing like that with a lot more people being there just to be seen rather than to get involved with the play situations.
Just like most things nowadays, it all just seems to be for the likes on your preferred social media platform. |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
Defragging..
Used to get a blow n a jump for popping round to clear caches, defragging hard drives.
You'd be sat on mIRC, box pops up "Hello, you defragged such n such's computer - can you come do ours". You just knew it wasn't just to make a PC run faster..
Know you mean about burn out, I rarely send messages, I respond to incoming but too long in the tooth now but sending is 99.9% WOFT.
I have stories of Police and vicars knocking on car windows, farmers chasing off fields with shotguns. Getting caught by hotel managers with more than two in the room.
One time an issue with badly angled full sized mirror one night, I answered the door to a manager over double payment mess-up. As I shut the door, turned around and realised why the manager was looking over my shoulder. The couple on the bed side on, she on all 4's, he frozen in a state of animation behind, both heads turned, staring red faced directly at me in the mirror.
Can be lonely sometimes but hey, just remember the good times, many would never believe the stories. Getting summoned at 2am "can you be here within the hour". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There has definitely been a big shift in the last ten years or so with regards to how harder the whole swingers scene has become.
I remember a time back in the early 2000’s when you could go to a club and get up to all kinds of filthy behaviour with like minded people…., now it’s just nothing like that with a lot more people being there just to be seen rather than to get involved with the play situations.
Just like most things nowadays, it all just seems to be for the likes on your preferred social media platform. "
That makes zero sense, you can’t even take photos in a club. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
That makes zero sense, you can’t even take photos in a club."
There might be no photos but it’s the same mentality of being at a gig or an event and not really getting into the experience.
Are people really there to play or is it just to pose?
Are people more in to the thrill of the chase than actually attempting to meet?
Who knows but as time goes on it seems that there is less opportunities for decent people to shine out from all the fantasists and dreamers that lurk on these sites. |
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"
Chat to people like you would meeting someone for first time in a bar! It's amazing how many people respond to respectful messages.
"
There's a better chance winning on a scratch card and the excitement or scratching it off.
Being honest, there is no point in worrying if you will get a reply or not. I've spoken with a good few people and sometimes you can say the right respectful things. Other times it's not going to work. There is really no point worrying about all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would say 70% of my messages don't even get read in the first place. Of those that get read about 10% get a reply. Been on and off for just over two years. Covid did for many meeting possibilities. In the last six weeks, I was stood up twice in the space of one week for a first meeting/coffee by one person and then she blocked even though we had not met, so don't understand that one! Also, a planned coffee meeting for today never happened. We were messaging for several weeks and had agreed to meet up today. Then nothing since my 2nd last message sent last week. My last message from yesterday was not responded to, asking to confirm our meeting up today. She was online yesterday but never replied. I don't take it personally but it is interesting when so many women on here complain that men are so rude and aggressive towards them and send dick pics but then they too behave badly towards men by standing them up or not replying to messages. No one gets anyware. |
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"Got my first computer on 1991, saw article on the news about a guy in France using the Internet to meet couples.
1992, an uncle asked about car park sex meetings. There was no Google, had to search Compuserve & AOL. Bingo, found three sites within 5 miles and was out every night.
I was 21 then, 52 this year, should I write a book?"
start the book - I'll buy a copy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think a lot of the problem is politeness, if someone isn't of interest a simple thanks buy your not my type will suffice, I anyone messages me who I don't like that's all I do. Its worse when you message and its simply ignored. |
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"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
"
It can be hard annoying and dishearting but let's face the reality. It's over populated with single fellas.
If you say anything, then your just whinging - I wouldn't worry. All you need is a nice person who is willing to chat.
Yeah something can go wrong for a potential meet but the whole not replying, I wouldnt bother waiting around wasting your time |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Suspect it’s what is going on in someone’s head that is the key for fun on here.
Who wants to be around someone who isn’t confident, fun and flirtatious.
I’ve got a dad’s bod and enjoy myself on here.
Oh and a stunning wife helps. |
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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago
Longridge |
"Got my first computer on 1991, saw article on the news about a guy in France using the Internet to meet couples.
1992, an uncle asked about car park sex meetings. There was no Google, had to search Compuserve & AOL. Bingo, found three sites within 5 miles and was out every night.
I was 21 then, 52 this year, should I write a book?
start the book - I'll buy a copy "
Deal.  |
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"I think a lot of the problem is politeness, if someone isn't of interest a simple thanks buy your not my type will suffice, I anyone messages me who I don't like that's all I do. Its worse when you message and its simply ignored."
It’s just impossible sometimes as there isn’t time. It’s easy to be polite and reply if just a few messages but not when a flood. We try to reply to all those that have made an effort but even that is not always possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think a lot of the problem is politeness, if someone isn't of interest a simple thanks buy your not my type will suffice, I anyone messages me who I don't like that's all I do. Its worse when you message and its simply ignored.
It’s just impossible sometimes as there isn’t time. It’s easy to be polite and reply if just a few messages but not when a flood. We try to reply to all those that have made an effort but even that is not always possible. "
Just be nice to get some replies lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
That makes zero sense, you can’t even take photos in a club.
There might be no photos but it’s the same mentality of being at a gig or an event and not really getting into the experience.
Are people really there to play or is it just to pose?
Are people more in to the thrill of the chase than actually attempting to meet?
Who knows but as time goes on it seems that there is less opportunities for decent people to shine out from all the fantasists and dreamers that lurk on these sites."
It feels like your experience is tinged by your own outlook! When I’ve been to clubs I’ve gone there to play and haven’t noticed anyone there who isn’t up for playing.
Lack of luck at clubs doesn’t mean people are posing just that you aren’t for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of the problem is politeness, if someone isn't of interest a simple thanks buy your not my type will suffice, I anyone messages me who I don't like that's all I do. Its worse when you message and its simply ignored."
You cannot control what others do. You cannot demand that people be "polite" according to your rules. The only thing you have control over is what YOU do. Your profile, your messages, your actions. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
"
I too feel the same and I have come to a theory.
Whirr I know the ratio of women to men is high and they get a lot of messages. The sad fact is that a majority of women on here want an ego boost and validation that they are still desirable. They have no intention of meeting you or anyone else.
Many women.en who pro salt would not even be looked at in everyday life on here ir in thifestyle become sought after and wanted.
This is not a criticism but a realisation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
I too feel the same and I have come to a theory.
Whirr I know the ratio of women to men is high and they get a lot of messages. The sad fact is that a majority of women on here want an ego boost and validation that they are still desirable. They have no intention of meeting you or anyone else.
Many women.en who pro salt would not even be looked at in everyday life on here ir in thifestyle become sought after and wanted.
This is not a criticism but a realisation."
That says more about men, than it does about women! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If anyone thinks a swinging site such as Fabs is a total fuckfest for a single man then the harsh reality is so far removed from their perceived perception.
I’ve been on and off here for years but I still don’t have any real success stories.
I just can’t seem to get any meets and it’s seems theres less odds on getting a reply than winning the lottery.
After sending 100’s of messages and seldom ever getting as much as a no thank you …. It makes you feel worthless and not good for any confidence.
People might say that you need to go to clubs but I’ve been and done that and it’s been equally as unsuccessful.
I too feel the same and I have come to a theory.
Whirr I know the ratio of women to men is high and they get a lot of messages. The sad fact is that a majority of women on here want an ego boost and validation that they are still desirable. They have no intention of meeting you or anyone else.
Many women.en who pro salt would not even be looked at in everyday life on here ir in thifestyle become sought after and wanted.
This is not a criticism but a realisation."
It may be a realisation for you but it's also a criticism of women. |
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I'm really new to this site so in many ways not qualified to comment. However, I have my own kinks that I want met. I posted to all locals with a header that generally covered my kink and a message that gave a little more meat on the bones and an invitation to view my profile where I'm quite specfic. I've got from this a few contacts and a social meet and a further meet and social planned. They're both exactly what I want and that's not just sex. I don't know how it will all turn out but I think it would be better if guys are frank about what they want and then show the ladies who can respond to a guy that has similar desires. Seems to be working so far. I don't want to waste time anymore than anyone else. |
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We know a lovely chap we had a mmf with. We met him in chat rooms. However he has very little luck on here and is fit and not pushy. I think there’s so many couple profiles where the wife doesn’t know what’s going on |
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The real issue is the number ratios on the site.
Single men vastly outnumber single women and couples. At least two thirds to a quarter of the userbase is single guys.
You then have to take into.account half of couples (at least) have zero interest in single guys.and some single women only.want to meet other women or couples.
The math dictates many men are going to get ignored. It's that simple.
But you can up your game. Go to socials or clubs. Network and get noticed. Or just accept it and realise relying in Fabs not going to get any better, only worse for you. |
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"
That makes zero sense, you can’t even take photos in a club.
There might be no photos but it’s the same mentality of being at a gig or an event and not really getting into the experience.
Are people really there to play or is it just to pose?
Are people more in to the thrill of the chase than actually attempting to meet?
Who knows but as time goes on it seems that there is less opportunities for decent people to shine out from all the fantasists and dreamers that lurk on these sites.
It feels like your experience is tinged by your own outlook! When I’ve been to clubs I’ve gone there to play and haven’t noticed anyone there who isn’t up for playing.
Lack of luck at clubs doesn’t mean people are posing just that you aren’t for them. "
Clubs are just a micro version of Fab; too many single guys, and very few single ladies. You also have the extra barrier of the cliques thrown in for good measure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's a marathon not a sprint,I have had success over the years not much but enough.
I do try and make conversation with people, but I just never take the site to seriously for what you pay or not pay on here you can't really moan.
There are lot of people on here, which I accept
I do enjoy the chase though |
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