FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Fab messaging etiquette
Fab messaging etiquette
Jump to: Newest in thread
Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hello Kitty Kat ..
Can't believe you have any problems getting a date from here ? Absolutely knockout gorgeous. Guessing you got pestered ..
Anyway .. as you are looking for married men that have permission its a bit different as I'm not that. However same rules apply, just be yourself and allow time for an arrangement to work. Needs a bit of patience as men have work too, and in addition if you are aiming at married men they will have lots more restrictions on their ability to get away to meet you .. so takes time and that needs patience. I find patience is something many women on here have little of.
Fabulous pictures btw x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked....."
Blocking single men won’t stop her from getting replies if she sends the first message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As contradictory as it might sound I think a lot of men would reply to one word messages.
Personally if I was a single man I’d like a face pic, a couple of sentences of why you might think we’re compatible or something humorous/different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"As contradictory as it might sound I think a lot of men would reply to one word messages.
Personally if I was a single man I’d like a face pic, a couple of sentences of why you might think we’re compatible or something humorous/different."
Ok cool, yes I do that kind of stuff. Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked....."
I blocked men because I'm fed up with the awful messages I received constantly over the years I been on fab and it just gotten worst. But thanks for saving me a job |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I made some great friends from fab but chatting normally on IG. But no I'm not here to get followers as I would need at least 50 k followers to make any money so definitely not me or capable of doing so. Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
A polite approach, with a message that indicates my profile has been read, something including what made it stand out or what you liked about my profile for me is always the best way to start |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
A polite approach, with a message that indicates my profile has been read, something including what made it stand out or what you liked about my profile for me is always the best way to start "
Ok cool. Thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
A polite approach, with a message that indicates my profile has been read, something including what made it stand out or what you liked about my profile for me is always the best way to start "
But what about what is ok or not ok during the exchanges of messages on fab? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
A polite approach, with a message that indicates my profile has been read, something including what made it stand out or what you liked about my profile for me is always the best way to start
But what about what is ok or not ok during the exchanges of messages on fab?"
Personally I don’t like people asking about my cock size, things like “how big are you” etc is probably my biggest bug bear along with requesting things of me that one can clearly see I’m not interested in doing. In the past I’ve had a woman ask for videos of me playing with other men when my profile clearly says that I’m straight |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
I don't know what I would need you to do. However, from my point of view what is wrong with the guy wooing the woman? What is wrong with the guy enticing the woman to meet him? What is wrong with spenind time getting to know her online? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It goes way beyond messages but I much prefer a message that jumps in mid conversation about something random but yet specific to my profile or forum approach to one that starts by blowing smoke up my backside.
In regards to how I expect a woman to behave that's down to the woman but my favourite fab word is consistency.
If she says one thing in private but her status updates/bio/pics or forum comments are contradictory then it's a major no from me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
I don't know what I would need you to do. However, from my point of view what is wrong with the guy wooing the woman? What is wrong with the guy enticing the woman to meet him? What is wrong with spenind time getting to know her online? "
I have no idea anymore. I had plenty of experience of men playing silly games of "i want you so much etc". Then just vanish when they get a better offer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It goes way beyond messages but I much prefer a message that jumps in mid conversation about something random but yet specific to my profile or forum approach to one that starts by blowing smoke up my backside.
In regards to how I expect a woman to behave that's down to the woman but my favourite fab word is consistency.
If she says one thing in private but her status updates/bio/pics or forum comments are contradictory then it's a major no from me.
"
That's fair enough. Thanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
A polite approach, with a message that indicates my profile has been read, something including what made it stand out or what you liked about my profile for me is always the best way to start
But what about what is ok or not ok during the exchanges of messages on fab?
Personally I don’t like people asking about my cock size, things like “how big are you” etc is probably my biggest bug bear along with requesting things of me that one can clearly see I’m not interested in doing. In the past I’ve had a woman ask for videos of me playing with other men when my profile clearly says that I’m straight "
Usually men from African descent constantly tell me how big their cock is.
I think alot of people just don't read profiles. I put down all my likes and dislikes. Still get the wrong people messaging me like bi women when I'm straight. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked.....
Blocking single men won’t stop her from getting replies if she sends the first message."
Yes I now want to do the chasing as I don't want single men wasting my time and making me very jaded of fab |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked....."
She's looking for meets, not compliments. And you don't fit her criteria.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
Nope. There's no guaranteed successful way.
Forgetting all the timewasters and wanna bes on here, there is simply to many factors at play regardless of it youre a man, woman, couple or LGBTQ on here.
From looks, how you present yourself in a message, wants, desires etc its ultimetly a broad-spectrum of people who each have a narrow spectrum of what they want out of it all.
The trick is finding compatible parties who fall into each others spectrums and voila, that's when you have success.
If there was something that had a massive success rate, we'd be using it but it just dosent exist. Just appreciate the good meets you get and try not to get to hung up on messages that go nowhere.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
It would help if you didn't block responses from guys.
I was drawn to your profile from your entry here and wanted to compliment you on your folio of pictures, especially those taken at Studland.
Blocked.....
She's looking for meets, not compliments. And you don't fit her criteria.
"
Lol .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think she is hoovering followers for her instagram profile .. like half the women on t1nd3r for example.. fake. "
Why on earth would you come to that conclusion?
The OP has a well written, well verified profile.
Viv |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think she is hoovering followers for her instagram profile .. like half the women on t1nd3r for example.. fake.
Why on earth would you come to that conclusion?
The OP has a well written, well verified profile.
Viv "
Thank you for saying that as I thought maybe he hasn't even looked at my profile to make that comment |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Looking at your profile I can see your a keen biker nice legs. To be fair you would probably kill me but what a way to go can’t see anything wrong with your bio it states what you want and stick by it don’t compromise for cock |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
There is no one way to suit all. Especially with guys. So do it the way you like till you find someone on the same way. If its just FAF or long message with full bio, whatever feels right for you. However, your profile text is a bit contradicting. You say not looking for single man (and blocked their messages) but later in the text you are after tall, handsome bla-bla.
I usually read profile (yeah, men read profile bios) before I reply and if its contradicting or I am not fitting into T&C or it starts with negativity I would just delete the message or send polite no depends on the mood.
Good luck in your search, OP |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd like someone to actually talk to instead of getting ignored or blocked. Just a face pic and a couple sentences will be enough as I will always reply.
But if someone had looked at your profile and took the time to read the bio and genuinely message you just to chat and have a laugh without wanting to jump straight into bed, would you reply or ignore him/her? If that makes sense lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It depends on their profiles... Direct = I'm direct
Soft = I'm direct
Shy = I'm gentle but also very direct about what I'm after
I believe you should be honest with you initial feelings you get from their profile and pictures |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've never received the first message from a single woman. If i did and she seemed cute I'd meet for a no pressure social. It's frustrating when women only meet at clubs for me as I've never been and live miles away - meaning it's not really viable for me to do this in a relaxed way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rad670Man
over a year ago
South Lakes |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me."
I'm surprised a lady needing to ask but I think it must be similar for all of us, I beleive a respectful first message desrves a reply even if it's a "not for me" message, but the volume of messages ladies get I understand why they can't. I don't think it's wise to be graphic until the conversation is flowing then only if it's deemed they might be OK with it. I like to chat away about fantasier, likes and kinks but again gauge how graphic to be, sex talk can be seductive and raunchy and get you quite worked up without being dirty and graphic. most of all I think if it goes off the boil after a few messages just be honest because being led on until the replies become just a few words just becomes a time waste for all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
I'm surprised a lady needing to ask but I think it must be similar for all of us, I beleive a respectful first message desrves a reply even if it's a "not for me" message, but the volume of messages ladies get I understand why they can't. I don't think it's wise to be graphic until the conversation is flowing then only if it's deemed they might be OK with it. I like to chat away about fantasier, likes and kinks but again gauge how graphic to be, sex talk can be seductive and raunchy and get you quite worked up without being dirty and graphic. most of all I think if it goes off the boil after a few messages just be honest because being led on until the replies become just a few words just becomes a time waste for all."
I'm agreed with above. If i dont know someone then endless messaging is just dull. Social to see if there is any chemistry |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally, I think it would be refreshing to receive the first message from a woman. As the old Fab addage goes about it being hard for single guys this approach would be a dream.
With respect to the message it wouldn't have to be anything elaborate. Something simple showing a nod to you having read my profile/a forum post and then we're naturally straight into a conversation. Following on from that just chat and see if chemistry presents itself.
I think some men would be surprised if a woman messaged first and that could possibly catch them off guard/cause them to shit out because they don't know how to handle it - but if they do then they're not the guys for you. If that's the case, unfortunately, it's time for some thick skin and move onto the next one.
As others have said, there's no Fab book to refer to. What works on one guy won't necessarily work on another. I think it's a bit of pot luck finding people who align with you but hopefully the journey makes the end product all the sweeter.
Good luck OP |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago
cognito |
Your profile reads as a very specific check list, that might well put a lot of people off even if you block everyone from messaging you first and you have to make the first move. Maybe your opening message to people should be a short explanation on what you want from the experience with them if it conflicts with your profile text? And just be yourself, a lot of people just want normal conversations. Good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there an successful way to get a decent genuine meet? Men, how would you like a woman to conduct herself to get you to want to meet her? Vice versa.
Sensible helpful answers please as FAB just getting more confusing for me.
There is no one way to suit all. Especially with guys. So do it the way you like till you find someone on the same way. If its just FAF or long message with full bio, whatever feels right for you. However, your profile text is a bit contradicting. You say not looking for single man (and blocked their messages) but later in the text you are after tall, handsome bla-bla.
I usually read profile (yeah, men read profile bios) before I reply and if its contradicting or I am not fitting into T&C or it starts with negativity I would just delete the message or send polite no depends on the mood.
Good luck in your search, OP"
I need to clarify just because I blocked men from messaging me which appears on fab for 'not looking for single men' doesn't mean I'm not going to look for myself. So I don't think my profile is being contradicting, it's the way FAB presents the information.
I hardly need to look for a man before but because I blocked them from messaging me, I do now and have no idea really how to do it successfully. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago
Berkhamsted |
I'm the same, single men are blocked from messaging. When they're not, fab literally becomes a full time admin job lol. And that's absolutely not me thinking I'm amazing, I promise u.
As many have said tho, a friendly message that shows you've read their profile (I try to mention something in particular I liked about it or a similar interest) works well. I always try to inject a little humour but my humour isn't appreciated by everyone for some reason
Then leave it to them if they choose to reply. If they do, and we're getting on well, I usually move the chat off fab before arranging a social.
Good luck! X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edgirlWoman
over a year ago
Berkhamsted |
"I think she is hoovering followers for her instagram profile .. like half the women on t1nd3r for example.. fake.
Bitter much?"
I thought the same lol! What on earth made them think she was fake for asking a genuine question? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm the same, single men are blocked from messaging. When they're not, fab literally becomes a full time admin job lol. And that's absolutely not me thinking I'm amazing, I promise u.
As many have said tho, a friendly message that shows you've read their profile (I try to mention something in particular I liked about it or a similar interest) works well. I always try to inject a little humour but my humour isn't appreciated by everyone for some reason
Then leave it to them if they choose to reply. If they do, and we're getting on well, I usually move the chat off fab before arranging a social.
Good luck! X"
Yes finally a fellow female knows where I am coming from when we allow men to message us. Lol
I literally get 100s of either disrespectful, haven't read my profile, just "hi", "meet me now" or 250 worded extract from erotic novel what they want us to do together. After over 4 years of administration of the endless crud messages, I decided to block single men.
But as your advice, I do this on Bumble. I get tons of matches, lots of chats but it doesn't go further. So wondering on fab, what else I can do to persuade him to actually turn up for a meet? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Face pic and just about any message that can help strike up a conversation and be replied to. Even if it’s really inane. The worst messages to reply to are the ones where there’s nothing to pick out from the message to respond to.
Ask questions and don’t give closed responses only (not saying you do or anything, I’ve no idea just responding based on personal experience).
Also I personally like to see some character, but cheeky maybe, funny. Just be yourself I guess and don’t overthink it and become wooden. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Face pic and just about any message that can help strike up a conversation and be replied to. Even if it’s really inane. The worst messages to reply to are the ones where there’s nothing to pick out from the message to respond to.
Ask questions and don’t give closed responses only (not saying you do or anything, I’ve no idea just responding based on personal experience).
Also I personally like to see some character, but cheeky maybe, funny. Just be yourself I guess and don’t overthink it and become wooden. "
Explicit sex talk isn't appropriate if you want to find a decent fabber? I told a guy I loved his body when he asked why I fabbed him lol it was an honest answer as he didn't have much else on his profile to go on. Whether I would want to meet him was another matter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread really cracks me up. It's just as common the ignorance meeted out to nice courteous guys on this site by scores of women as it is a short somehow offensive hello the ladies get .. I find it unsurprising so many men are thinking exactly the same as me with regard to initial messages.. I've never had one either, and despite all the tools in the box used in creating ideal messages they repeatedly get ignored for zero reason. No wonder so many men get disillusioned and start just sending short hellos.. single men really are wasting their time on here. Hence I spend more time on other sites than here now. ..
I find the OPs question bizarre. What can she do to entice a nice guy to a meet ?? You must be having a laugh.. yes I am cynical, so might say lots have fallen for it .. imo. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This thread really cracks me up. It's just as common the ignorance meeted out to nice courteous guys on this site by scores of women as it is a short somehow offensive hello the ladies get .. I find it unsurprising so many men are thinking exactly the same as me with regard to initial messages.. I've never had one either, and despite all the tools in the box used in creating ideal messages they repeatedly get ignored for zero reason. No wonder so many men get disillusioned and start just sending short hellos.. single men really are wasting their time on here. Hence I spend more time on other sites than here now. ..
I find the OPs question bizarre. What can she do to entice a nice guy to a meet ?? You must be having a laugh.. yes I am cynical, so might say lots have fallen for it .. imo. "
Why? There's thread after thread after thread stated by fellas asking the same? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I find the OPs question bizarre. What can she do to entice a nice guy to a meet ?? You must be having a laugh.. yes I am cynical, so might say lots have fallen for it .. imo. "
You’re this cynical after only nine weeks on here? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This thread really cracks me up. It's just as common the ignorance meeted out to nice courteous guys on this site by scores of women as it is a short somehow offensive hello the ladies get .. I find it unsurprising so many men are thinking exactly the same as me with regard to initial messages.. I've never had one either, and despite all the tools in the box used in creating ideal messages they repeatedly get ignored for zero reason. No wonder so many men get disillusioned and start just sending short hellos.. single men really are wasting their time on here. Hence I spend more time on other sites than here now. ..
I find the OPs question bizarre. What can she do to entice a nice guy to a meet ?? You must be having a laugh.. yes I am cynical, so might say lots have fallen for it .. imo. "
You may look at a profile and see you share a few interests, you may think yoiu send an ideal message, you may think they dont reply for zero reasons but, sharing a few ticks or sending what you think is an ideal message does not mean they feel the same. There will always be a reason for not getting a reply. If you did share interests, sent an ideal first message and attracted to you, then they would reply. Single men are absolutely not wasting their time on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This thread really cracks me up. It's just as common the ignorance meeted out to nice courteous guys on this site by scores of women as it is a short somehow offensive hello the ladies get .. I find it unsurprising so many men are thinking exactly the same as me with regard to initial messages.. I've never had one either, and despite all the tools in the box used in creating ideal messages they repeatedly get ignored for zero reason. No wonder so many men get disillusioned and start just sending short hellos.. single men really are wasting their time on here. Hence I spend more time on other sites than here now. ..
I find the OPs question bizarre. What can she do to entice a nice guy to a meet ?? You must be having a laugh.. yes I am cynical, so might say lots have fallen for it .. imo. "
It could be lots of reasons why I or other women didn't reply back to you. If you went to a club, do you expect the first girl you like the look of to sleep with you? I might the look of someone, but from talking to them, I found there's NO chemistry on any level.
I wanted to know, as I know men have different expectations and style of communication, what they find a turn on or off to chatting on fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic