Mr here,
So, some time ago Mrs and I talked about potentially starting hotwifing. We’d find a guy, and they’d fuck while I sat and watched but not get involved. Then after a few times I’d stay downstairs but watch on camera, and perhaps with the consent of all involved make a recording. I’ve even considered (with a guy we’d already got to know and trusted) not even being home when it happens. The thought turns us both on a huge amount.
The thing is, my ex fiancée (who I was in an open relationship with) used to go on dates that never lead anywhere. But then on one occasion she went out (said she was staying at her parents to look after their dog while they were on holiday…) and cheated on me. She drove a distance away and slept with an acquaintance. We split the next day (because I already suspected and drove by his place and got confirmation.)
Now I know 100% that Mrs would never ever cheat. But that past pain is something I’m aware of when I think about hotwifing
Does anybody have any advice on how to proceed? |
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I think its not fair to compare your ex with your current wife. It's just fair on your wife... I say that having done exactly the same thing in the past. But they are different women in different scenarios...
The main thing is that what your wife will be doing is with your knowledge and consent and that's the main difference. So it's (to us) not really cheating.
That being said we would give the same advice we give to new couples on the scene. Talk openly about it, take small steps and agree that either of you can change your mind whenever you want without criticism from the other about it. Set your own rules to be comfortable with it.
If it were us Duke would want photos etc during the event so he was sort of involved during it. That way it would keep him nice and worked up before coming home to him later! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are happy for her to sleep while your not in the house then what are you worried about, she gets to do what she wants and wouldn’t need to lie about what’s going on?
I’m allowed to do what I want and my husband trusts me, also helps that he even sometimes takes the kids out so we can have fun more often x |
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"I think its not fair to compare your ex with your current wife. It's just fair on your wife... I say that having done exactly the same thing in the past. But they are different women in different scenarios...
The main thing is that what your wife will be doing is with your knowledge and consent and that's the main difference. So it's (to us) not really cheating.
That being said we would give the same advice we give to new couples on the scene. Talk openly about it, take small steps and agree that either of you can change your mind whenever you want without criticism from the other about it. Set your own rules to be comfortable with it.
If it were us Duke would want photos etc during the event so he was sort of involved during it. That way it would keep him nice and worked up before coming home to him later! "
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not comparing them. Mrs is absolutely wonderful and I’ve never been happier nor felt more secure in a relationship 
But I’m just concerned more about the potential for old pain to resurface (unnecessarily) if we proceed. Obviously if we did proceed and that happened, we’d discuss it thoroughly. It’s one reason we’re both considering easing into this, rather than jumping in at the deep end. We actually took a small step on Saturday night for a couple of minutes, not planned either but it was ok.
I’m naturally a very cautious person, and always get multiple opinions before I do something where I feel it will help |
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"What does your wife think?"
And I quote “Why don’t you ask on the Fab forums?” Hence the post 
That aside, she’s fully aware of what happened when I was in an open relationship. She also understands that I’m not comparing her to my ex, but the appearance of past pain is a possibility, regardless of how great our relationship is
She’s fucking incredible |
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"If you are happy for her to sleep while your not in the house then what are you worried about, she gets to do what she wants and wouldn’t need to lie about what’s going on?
I’m allowed to do what I want and my husband trusts me, also helps that he even sometimes takes the kids out so we can have fun more often x"
I’m worried about past pain resurfacing, and how I’ll handle that. And if it does I don’t want her to feel guilty for having sex with someone without me involved. (Which she could potentially feel guilty about - even though it would be within our boundaries, assuming we proceed.)
We talk about every aspect of our lives, and have a great relationship. But this is new to her and has caused past pain for me. And we don’t want to fuck it up or for anyone to feel hurt |
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By *atenaWoman
over a year ago
Hyde |
I think you sounds like you're doing it exactly right ...
Take a step and see how it feels... don't be afraid to stop midway through something.
Be honest and open.... this MAY a bring up past pain. It actually it may help you get over that past as now YOURE in control of it.
Just talk talk talk at every point |
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"I think you sounds like you're doing it exactly right ...
Take a step and see how it feels... don't be afraid to stop midway through something.
Be honest and open.... this MAY a bring up past pain. It actually it may help you get over that past as now YOURE in control of it.
Just talk talk talk at every point "
Small steps are definitely the way forward. We took a small step yesterday with a lovely single guy. They played for a little while as I watched on, before getting involved at her request. If she hadn’t, I’m not sure I’ve have got involved
Felt unusual, but not bad  |
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