FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Its possible to find a permanent partner for a couple?
Its possible to find a permanent partner for a couple?
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Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together  like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
Are you asking them to be exclusive just to you? Or just a single guy FWB and a regular arrangement?
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been asked for this arrangement of exclusivity with a couple. For me it’s a no. When I am not there they are still very much a couple doing couple things and not just sexually.
I was expected to just be on my own as a regular just to them.
You have to be very clear what you are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
We are experiencing exactly the same sort of problems here!
The site is full of idiots and timewasters making it very difficult to sift through to the good ones.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And unfortunately we often get frustrated when a single let down us again. Therefore, we would like one but trusted."
Can I ask you though what do you ask of them? Expectations to you both?
Can they be with others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just one single with regular meet.
Is this single allowed to have other sex partners away from you the couple?
KJ
Yes of course
"
Maybe making that very clear will help aid in your search.
The term second husband / wife's BF etc can suggest exclusivity to some.
Good luck on your search
KJ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
so many timewasters on here i have a growing blocklist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?
We are experiencing exactly the same sort of problems here!
The site is full of idiots and timewasters making it very difficult to sift through to the good ones.
"
i agree |
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Hmmm… Like a second husband is probably a bit much for most folks we would imagine.
It is possible to find someone you play regularly with. We did, but non-exclusively. However, he went and got himself a vanilla girlfriend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, I think alot of couples and singles are in search of the perfect play partner/s for regular fun.
Were the same, we'd love to get to know a couple that we could become good friends with for socials and regular uninhibited fun. Or a single for that matter! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thing is if you are going to put so much effort in to a relationship with a couple as a single guy you might as well be in a relationship with someone. Most single guys are on here till they settle down with someone. |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
"I have been asked for this arrangement of exclusivity with a couple. For me it’s a no. When I am not there they are still very much a couple doing couple things and not just sexually.
I was expected to just be on my own as a regular just to them.
You have to be very clear what you are looking for "
We have thought of adding another regular but we know asking for exclusivity is beyond the pale. We would need to be sure they are safe with others.
C |
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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago
Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds |
" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
Have you tried couples committed to the swinging lifestyle?
C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
Where do we apply?  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
Have you put what you're specifically looking for on your profile?
The devil is in the detail.
If you're not clear as to what you seek you can't blame people when they think you're looking for something else.
And have you been proactively searching or just relying on the right guy to get in touch? Because that's unlikely to happen.
A |
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
I've got non if this from your profile though
Perhaps if thats what you seek re write aiming towards people with an interest in the various dynamics of poly
Or try a different forum for that so you are hopefully connecting with more people on a similar page |
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
I would love this scenario. Just typical that you are two hours away or more.
I can commit to once a month if that helps  |
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Wife has had same f/b for twelve years but due to distance , only meet I’m 2/3 times a year , I think once a week would be a bit risky as feelings may get involved , if wife wanted to meet more often I think I would tell her to have possibly 2/3 to give the bit extra without them getting too close |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
is hubby allowed a second wife?? |
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
Don't think it's looking for regular that's the issue, we can't really commit to regular but still struggle to arrange anything off here.
We find it's more to do with filters for want of a better term.
Ours revolve around first of all the type of male we're looking for so attraction, meets preferences etc, secondly they understand the dynamics, so must at least appear to have read our bio, we believe anyone who has even half a clue on here would do this.
Most will fail on on at least one of the filters if not more. Those very few remaining that don't, are in demand and can usually find a better option or response elsewhere.
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Those very few remaining that don't, are in demand and can usually find a better option or response elsewhere.
"
This is very true - people on here often think that single women are at the top of the food chain, whereas in reality it is the good looking, intelligent and sociable single guys that are. They are in the highest demand and as you say, can pick and choose their options. K
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By *bthreeCouple
over a year ago
Yeovil |
"Yeah, I think alot of couples and singles are in search of the perfect play partner/s for regular fun.
Were the same, we'd love to get to know a couple that we could become good friends with for socials and regular uninhibited fun. Or a single for that matter! Xx"
Totally what we are looking for too |
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"Those very few remaining that don't, are in demand and can usually find a better option or response elsewhere.
This is very true - people on here often think that single women are at the top of the food chain, whereas in reality it is the good looking, intelligent and sociable single guys that are. They are in the highest demand and as you say, can pick and choose their options. K
Exactly x
Even more difficult is to find straight couple for another straight couple . Not just for sex but going out ,drink ect.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't think of a better arrangement, getting to know someone and exploring together is very special. Like others say a lot depends on factors such as location, attraction and compatibility.
I would say that many men are driven by ego, the idea of having lots of partners appeals to their ego, sex is like a hunting party and they are constantly wanting the thrill of the chase. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I found the right couple then I would be exclusive, would have to be bi top though, could live with being a second husband fairly easy as keep myself busy as it is. However if a single female came along then that could change the scenario, maybe though could work that too, couple exclusive to couple, now that has potential of being awesome  |
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"Wife has had same f/b for twelve years but due to distance , only meet I’m 2/3 times a year , I think once a week would be a bit risky as feelings may get involved , if wife wanted to meet more often I think I would tell her to have possibly 2/3 to give the bit extra without them getting too close "
Yes i agree once a week, might be a bit too much. Twice a month is more realistic. |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
Maybe because your profile clearly says single man will be least priority for you.  I tend not to engage in chatting where profile contradict actual message. Be it single woman in profile but married in real life or a couple saying their priority is a couple but asking to for the second husband. Maybe try to specify in your profile what are you looking for with single men. Unbelievable as it sounds but some men read profiles.
Though i have to admit finding local regular couple would be second ideal scenario for me nowadays.
Good like in your search.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In terms of handsome, intellectual,humble single men on here I've only met one and I'd see him again in a heartbeat ..agreed they are a rarity ...given the ratio of single men on here you'd think you'd come across more.
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Looking for anyone is so much easier at the organised socials than on here..
I struggled on fab until I went to a social in Oxford and realised what a previous poster said ...the majority of guys there were all really nice, well turned out, had something to say for themselves and consequently were very popular... |
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By *jonesMan
over a year ago
Plymouth |
" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?
I've got non if this from your profile though
Perhaps if thats what you seek re write aiming towards people with an interest in the various dynamics of poly
Or try a different forum for that so you are hopefully connecting with more people on a similar page "
Their profile says
SINGLE MALE
If we need then we find you
Really enticing ...who would bother even messaging... |
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A poly set up may be best for you and to form a triad where your two husband’s are either on level ground or at least close to.
You can find them. I have a demi husband of over 2 years. We hook up, we grab coffee, I call him when I have an emergency or need some emotional support. He lives with his partner.
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By *ayezzMan
over a year ago
Manchester/Birmingham |
Be amazing to find a couple to meet with regular to give us the freedom to be more open sexually with each other. I have had a similar arrangement with a couple in the past a fair few years ago. But as of late, no luck  |
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By *hanel3Man
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
By coincidence I have found the opposite applies. I have been looking for a nice couple and am willing to offer them full exclusivity during the term of our relationship. Being promiscuous with a number of different partners is risky at best |
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"By coincidence I have found the opposite applies. I have been looking for a nice couple and am willing to offer them full exclusivity during the term of our relationship. Being promiscuous with a number of different partners is risky at best "
If i were fortunate enough to meet a bi mmf and we all really clicked then yes I'd offer them exclusivity too. |
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By *mma29Couple
over a year ago
wirral |
"By coincidence I have found the opposite applies. I have been looking for a nice couple and am willing to offer them full exclusivity during the term of our relationship. Being promiscuous with a number of different partners is risky at best "
This is what we have with our bull, he only meets us. And its agreed until the end of the year. Everyone can relax and there's not hoping people turn up etc.
Obviously we meet regularly each week so there isn't the long wait for either person to want to find another. |
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
I hope so. I would love to meet a couple regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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exclusivity is not a word that should be used in swinging ...
no one will ever be exclusive with us and we wont with them thats not swinging as for perfect theres no such thing ... as a couple we come into this looking for others for sex and fun yes regulars are very welcome but the moment they start the clingy route they are kicked in to touch ...
its always been hard to find a regular guy the very nature of being single will make it hard they have their life we have ours getting a night or 2 to match is like pulling teeth lol ..
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"Don't think it's looking for regular that's the issue, we can't really commit to regular but still struggle to arrange anything off here.
We find it's more to do with filters for want of a better term.
Ours revolve around first of all the type of male we're looking for so attraction, meets preferences etc, secondly they understand the dynamics, so must at least appear to have read our bio, we believe anyone who has even half a clue on here would do this.
Most will fail on on at least one of the filters if not more. Those very few remaining that don't, are in demand and can usually find a better option or response elsewhere.
"
Very well put. Someone with real insight there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male?
We single males vastly outnumber women and couples on here and, among us, there are the honest and the handsome.
Regrettably, we have a hard time finding attractive couples and women who are willing even to give us the light of day because they have so much choice. I have read in numerous other threads how hard it is generally to find meets (and that is without caveats).
The OP has a great profile and I'm sure single men are inundating them with messages and offers. It will just take time and effort to filter and sort the wheat from the chaff. |
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By *azpiz1Man
over a year ago
Camberley |
" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
I'd say since lockdown, fab has had an influx of hundreds of single guys who are not in the lifestyle, but just out for a shag, so honesty is hard to find.
Handsome, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I, like a number of single guys, don't put a face picture (or for that matter, a cock picture!) On my public profile, so that's another hurdle.
I had an ongoing regular thing with a couple (they made the initial approach after reading my profile) who have unfortunately decided they don't want to continue.
I'd be very willing to have something similar with another couple, but age seems to be a massive barrier for some.
I'd suggest that you look for guys in your preferred area, age range, size etc, check out thier verifications, and then reach out to them - you are more likely to be successful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like so many, I'm looking for a regular female partner to play with in a mix of things. On our own, with another male or female and a couple etc. There appear to be some few females about looking for this type of relationship, then to find one local, makes things even harder, (and not in the way you've thought about either!) |
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By *sexyHCouple
over a year ago
Leicester |
" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
Yes tell me about it. So hard |
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Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
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"Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
"
It's probably easier if he's single. They're already a couple, if the other guy had a partner too, it's another variable to negotiate when trying to make arrangements |
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"Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
It's probably easier if he's single. They're already a couple, if the other guy had a partner too, it's another variable to negotiate when trying to make arrangements "
And there in lies the issue. The perception that it's easier. It might be in some cases, I won't deny that but in our spesific case we are pretty flexible. Just no one ever asks is all I'm saying. |
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"Don't think it's looking for regular that's the issue, we can't really commit to regular but still struggle to arrange anything off here.
We find it's more to do with filters for want of a better term.
Ours revolve around first of all the type of male we're looking for so attraction, meets preferences etc, secondly they understand the dynamics, so must at least appear to have read our bio, we believe anyone who has even half a clue on here would do this.
Most will fail on on at least one of the filters if not more. Those very few remaining that don't, are in demand and can usually find a better option or response elsewhere.
"
I remember reading your profile and thinking yes !
It is currently closed |
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This had always been my preferred dynamic. I have several long term relationships with couple's over the years. Both cuckold and polly relationships. They have mostly been based on exclusivity between us, other than the occasional person we all wanted to join us for something special.
As a couple you have the advantage of being able to pick and choose among the many single guys on here, so you should be able to find what you're looking for, as long as you're patient  |
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"Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
It's probably easier if he's single. They're already a couple, if the other guy had a partner too, it's another variable to negotiate when trying to make arrangements
And there in lies the issue. The perception that it's easier. It might be in some cases, I won't deny that but in our spesific case we are pretty flexible. Just no one ever asks is all I'm saying."
I guess people like to filter choices efficiently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
It's probably easier if he's single. They're already a couple, if the other guy had a partner too, it's another variable to negotiate when trying to make arrangements
And there in lies the issue. The perception that it's easier. It might be in some cases, I won't deny that but in our spesific case we are pretty flexible. Just no one ever asks is all I'm saying."
Maybe the hothusband dynamic is an easier sell I.e you playing solo with permission as oppose to the far more niche cuck Queen set up. Like cuckold not everyone is into the humiliation element and want to have the cuck present (in your case the cuckqueen been present) and involved be it just watching in restraints through to some cuckqueen engagement in a sub capacity).
I know a similar couple well who have far more success with hot husband meets than they ever did trying to set up cuckqueen meets.
KJ
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"Why has he got to be single?
By that I mean we are an open marrige couple erring on the side of cuckquean. We both play seperatly and are well verified as a couple and ad singles on here.
With the right people, either of us would be open to something regular.
The funny thing is lots of couples don't give a monkey if the wife is in an open relationship but loads care if the husband is. There's no shortage of couples with "no married guys" on them. Not pointing fingers at anyone, just saying that there is.
Each to their own but if you want a regular guy, it's something to think about. Clearly wouldn't be after something exclusive but I'd be happy to join a couple on a regular basis if we all got on.
Not putting myself forward to anyone here, just saying in principle.
It's probably easier if he's single. They're already a couple, if the other guy had a partner too, it's another variable to negotiate when trying to make arrangements
And there in lies the issue. The perception that it's easier. It might be in some cases, I won't deny that but in our spesific case we are pretty flexible. Just no one ever asks is all I'm saying.
Maybe the hothusband dynamic is an easier sell I.e you playing solo with permission as oppose to the far more niche cuck Queen set up. Like cuckold not everyone is into the humiliation element and want to have the cuck present (in your case the cuckqueen been present) and involved be it just watching in restraints through to some cuckqueen engagement in a sub capacity).
I know a similar couple well who have far more success with hot husband meets than they ever did trying to set up cuckqueen meets.
KJ
"
There's no humiliation element to it.
It is a "hothusband" situation but but we got asked "whats that" so many times un the past we reverted to the quckquean thing because it was more a catch all term. But that was years ago now.
But thanks for the heads up. Will change it and see what happens. Can always swap.it back.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Why is it so hard to find an honest, handsome single male? We have been looking for a long-term partner, want to meet at least once a week. Going to a party together like a second husband. Unfortunately, we come across time waster... many, many time waster. Do you have that too?"
This is my idea of perfection. Regular meets and socials. |
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