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The Best way to do this for the first time?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first .we thought clubs but then Mrs is quite anxious and she thinks it would be rather nerve racking. She said to me the other night the only way she can see herself doing it is if I go downstairs in the hotel and give the guy our room key and then text him when. We are both ready and When's she's Horny like us maybe do some foreplay then When's she in her naughty mood to text him to come up and join us and go from there ? Has anyone actually done this to get over the nerve barrier ? We say how much we want to do it but it's that first time! |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I'll be honest with you, I doubt you will get many up for the idea as you have no information of photos of your wife on your profile.
I know you want people to be patient and she'll join when she's ready, but how would people know that this scenario is genuine and you aren't going to surprise her with some guy showing up.
I'd suggest a first step would be a social where you arrange to meet in a pub and talk through what you would both like and explain about the nerves. She would also be able to see if she wants to get sexual with the gent. At that point you could then plan where and when. By all means start things off in a hotel room , or upstairs at your house, his house . At any time she can say stop if she isn't happy, and you can make that clear.
But your current suggestion sounds a little dubious to an outsider reading what you've put. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe take the pressure off. Find a guy that will be happy just watching you and wanking over you then he won’t be disappointed if that’s as far as it goes. Then agree to let the Mrs. call the shots and take it further if she’s comfortable. Maybe just wank the guy off first time then discuss before the next time. Elfie has the choice with a guy whether to wank him,blow him or fuck him. No pressure at all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe take the pressure off. Find a guy that will be happy just watching you and wanking over you then he won’t be disappointed if that’s as far as it goes. Then agree to let the Mrs. call the shots and take it further if she’s comfortable. Maybe just wank the guy off first time then discuss before the next time. Elfie has the choice with a guy whether to wank him,blow him or fuck him. No pressure at all"
That seems more ideal I mean baby steps is the way forward always I feel or atleast chat on here first or through kik exchange pics then maybe a social first but I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that . I mean obviously when we do go ahead we are going to make a joint account and share pics of corse. The person above commenting if I was going to surprise her haha. Never would i ever .it was her idea obviously she would want to know who that person is and what they look like first  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'll be honest with you, I doubt you will get many up for the idea as you have no information of photos of your wife on your profile.
I know you want people to be patient and she'll join when she's ready, but how would people know that this scenario is genuine and you aren't going to surprise her with some guy showing up.
I'd suggest a first step would be a social where you arrange to meet in a pub and talk through what you would both like and explain about the nerves. She would also be able to see if she wants to get sexual with the gent. At that point you could then plan where and when. By all means start things off in a hotel room , or upstairs at your house, his house . At any time she can say stop if she isn't happy, and you can make that clear.
But your current suggestion sounds a little dubious to an outsider reading what you've put. "
We would definitely make an account first .wouldn't go in blind . I'd like to chat to the person for a while first as a couple see how we feel then maybe that would spark a meet for us both |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What about both of you meeting a man in a hotel bar, or local pub first. You can chat and see if she feels ready before he walks into the bedroom.
"
I think that could probably be better "for me personally I'd prefer that rather than us jump in before we even tested the waters"
Maybe not local as we have children maybe further out don't mind driving a 45 min journey or whatever to make it discreet |
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By *ev257Man
over a year ago
cardiff |
"Maybe take the pressure off. Find a guy that will be happy just watching you and wanking over you then he won’t be disappointed if that’s as far as it goes. Then agree to let the Mrs. call the shots and take it further if she’s comfortable. Maybe just wank the guy off first time then discuss before the next time. Elfie has the choice with a guy whether to wank him,blow him or fuck him. No pressure at all"
The wife n myself are about to have our first mmf in a few weeks n what said above is very much what we have in mind for the our first time. |
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"Maybe take the pressure off. Find a guy that will be happy just watching you and wanking over you then he won’t be disappointed if that’s as far as it goes. Then agree to let the Mrs. call the shots and take it further if she’s comfortable. Maybe just wank the guy off first time then discuss before the next time. Elfie has the choice with a guy whether to wank him,blow him or fuck him. No pressure at all
That seems more ideal I mean baby steps is the way forward always I feel or atleast chat on here first or through kik exchange pics then maybe a social first but I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that . I mean obviously when we do go ahead we are going to make a joint account and share pics of corse. The person above commenting if I was going to surprise her haha. Never would i ever .it was her idea obviously she would want to know who that person is and what they look like first "
Erm haven't you said elsewhere she doesn't care what they look like?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe take the pressure off. Find a guy that will be happy just watching you and wanking over you then he won’t be disappointed if that’s as far as it goes. Then agree to let the Mrs. call the shots and take it further if she’s comfortable. Maybe just wank the guy off first time then discuss before the next time. Elfie has the choice with a guy whether to wank him,blow him or fuck him. No pressure at all
That seems more ideal I mean baby steps is the way forward always I feel or atleast chat on here first or through kik exchange pics then maybe a social first but I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that . I mean obviously when we do go ahead we are going to make a joint account and share pics of corse. The person above commenting if I was going to surprise her haha. Never would i ever .it was her idea obviously she would want to know who that person is and what they look like first
Erm haven't you said elsewhere she doesn't care what they look like? "
I wrote this before we spoke last night. This is the topic I brung up and that's when she said she doesn't care what he looks like . I'd personally like to know and would have to know as someone isn't going to go on a blind date realistically for him anyway |
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"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first .we thought clubs but then Mrs is quite anxious and she thinks it would be rather nerve racking. She said to me the other night the only way she can see herself doing it is if I go downstairs in the hotel and give the guy our room key and then text him when. We are both ready and When's she's Horny like us maybe do some foreplay then When's she in her naughty mood to text him to come up and join us and go from there ? Has anyone actually done this to get over the nerve barrier ? We say how much we want to do it but it's that first time!"
If there are doubts or you are not sure, club is the way to go. The most nerve wracking bit is getting through the door!!
once in, you are free to watch & just enjoy the atmosphere, play by yourselves, play in public etc before even thinking of taking it further. So much easier than pressuring yourseleves with a one to one meet. |
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Bite the bullet, go to a club. It's really the best risk free way of exploring the scene for the first time and seeing what it's like. It's safe, freindly and it's a nice night out just as a night out. Also you can pop along on your own terms without being messed about or messing others about.
It's really nothing to be worried about. Tell them it's your first time and you'll be well looked after. |
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" I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that . "
This’s sounds like you’re just looking for ‘rent a cock’. These men are humans you know and most guys want to be wanted for themselves not just for their penis. |
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"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first .we thought clubs but then Mrs is quite anxious and she thinks it would be rather nerve racking. She said to me the other night the only way she can see herself doing it is if I go downstairs in the hotel and give the guy our room key and then text him when. We are both ready and When's she's Horny like us maybe do some foreplay then When's she in her naughty mood to text him to come up and join us and go from there ? Has anyone actually done this to get over the nerve barrier ? We say how much we want to do it but it's that first time!"
I don't think your wife is totally I to this tbh of she is saying things like the only way I can see myself do this is to...sounds very much like is a one sided want to be fair. |
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As others have said go to a club. Inside they have dress areas; no nudity. Then if she feels more comfortable you can get into various states of undress. If that doesn't happen just treat it as a night club out. You can can chat on here about it forever or you BOTH discuss it and give it a try. Good luck. |
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We were talking about this last night. Mrs said b4 we couple swap she wants an mfm. Almost just to see what it's like being with another man - I'm very happy with this btw too! So we are going for a straight forward approach - we are going to invite a single man round and basically watch him have sex with mrs and then I'd join in later. We think if you're gonna do it, then just do it! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first .we thought clubs but then Mrs is quite anxious and she thinks it would be rather nerve racking. She said to me the other night the only way she can see herself doing it is if I go downstairs in the hotel and give the guy our room key and then text him when. We are both ready and When's she's Horny like us maybe do some foreplay then When's she in her naughty mood to text him to come up and join us and go from there ? Has anyone actually done this to get over the nerve barrier ? We say how much we want to do it but it's that first time!
I don't think your wife is totally I to this tbh of she is saying things like the only way I can see myself do this is to...sounds very much like is a one sided want to be fair. "
She's very much into it. She's the one who brings it up more than I do. She's just anxious person she always has been with most things. She couldn't even walk down the Isle at her brothers wedding a few years ago she's passed that now and she's more confident but it's a big step. I wouldn't entertain it if she wasn't feeling the same it's not for one's pleasure it's for both otherwise it's pointless |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested  "
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs had experienced a threesome previous to us meeting, Mr far experience in this scene too, it was discussing past situations that had Mrs very keen to try some more.
She was though very nervous. The worry I may not enjoy, feared a guy will turn away once seeing her, she not being good enough for two guys, etc etc.
Though nervous, she was very keen.
Our first threesome together was discussed with the guy we met, previous to meeting.
She was blindfolded with her hands loosely tied to the bed head.
I was stroking and teasing her as our guest arrived.
She heard the bell go, then me to downstairs to let him in.
I introduced them as we entered the room, so both were aware they were aware of one another.
We had a full threesome with Mrs still loosely tied and blindfolded, she knew she could ask to be released and/or blindfold taken off when ready.
Once over, she asked to be released.
We chatted for a while and then she announced she was ready for round 2, no blindfold, not tied.
We've met the same guy several times since and she even met him alone one time.
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Blindfolded is the way to go. I found it took the first time nerves away completely and I could just enjoy the experience.
As you get more confident you might find you want to take it off.
Mrs add some guys to the hotlist and then let Mr arrange it.
We have tried and tested this many times now and it’s great fun! Enjoy 
HW x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mrs had experienced a threesome previous to us meeting, Mr far experience in this scene too, it was discussing past situations that had Mrs very keen to try some more.
She was though very nervous. The worry I may not enjoy, feared a guy will turn away once seeing her, she not being good enough for two guys, etc etc.
Though nervous, she was very keen.
Our first threesome together was discussed with the guy we met, previous to meeting.
She was blindfolded with her hands loosely tied to the bed head.
I was stroking and teasing her as our guest arrived.
She heard the bell go, then me to downstairs to let him in.
I introduced them as we entered the room, so both were aware they were aware of one another.
We had a full threesome with Mrs still loosely tied and blindfolded, she knew she could ask to be released and/or blindfold taken off when ready.
Once over, she asked to be released.
We chatted for a while and then she announced she was ready for round 2, no blindfold, not tied.
We've met the same guy several times since and she even met him alone one time.
"
Thanks for answering my question mate . Unlike some ignorant people on here these women must of never been nervous for their first ever time
Going back to your situation that sounds good . Wouldn't mind a chat via pm mate if your interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blindfolded is the way to go. I found it took the first time nerves away completely and I could just enjoy the experience.
As you get more confident you might find you want to take it off.
Mrs add some guys to the hotlist and then let Mr arrange it.
We have tried and tested this many times now and it’s great fun! Enjoy
HW x"
Thank you I might suggest that to her and see what she thinks  |
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"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment "
Just the truth |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment
Just the truth"
Your hubby must of forced you into it aswell then |
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"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment
Just the truth
Your hubby must of forced you into it aswell then "
We swing together, started this together. Big difference |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment
Just the truth
Your hubby must of forced you into it aswell then
We swing together, started this together. Big difference "
Opening line to this thread is ........
"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first"
But you jump to the conclusion there's force being used.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is another thread with you appearing to push your wife towards swinging. She isn't interested
Do you know my wife then do you? You must do ... what makes you think she's not into it ? Ignorant comment
Just the truth
Your hubby must of forced you into it aswell then
We swing together, started this together. Big difference
Opening line to this thread is ........
"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first"
But you jump to the conclusion there's force being used.
"
Exactly my point! Haven't even done it yet. Apparently your not allowed to talk about it and dive straight in at the deep end  |
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"Me and my OH always talk about what we would do first .we thought clubs but then Mrs is quite anxious and she thinks it would be rather nerve racking. She said to me the other night the only way she can see herself doing it is if I go downstairs in the hotel and give the guy our room key and then text him when. We are both ready and When's she's Horny like us maybe do some foreplay then When's she in her naughty mood to text him to come up and join us and go from there ? Has anyone actually done this to get over the nerve barrier ? We say how much we want to do it but it's that first time!
I don't think your wife is totally I to this tbh of she is saying things like the only way I can see myself do this is to...sounds very much like is a one sided want to be fair.
She's very much into it. She's the one who brings it up more than I do. She's just anxious person she always has been with most things. She couldn't even walk down the Isle at her brothers wedding a few years ago she's passed that now and she's more confident but it's a big step. I wouldn't entertain it if she wasn't feeling the same it's not for one's pleasure it's for both otherwise it's pointless "
If she's the one that brings it up the most then why hasn't she got a profile or at least why haven't you set up a couples profile? If she could use the site then surely that would give her more of an understanding of things. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that .
This’s sounds like you’re just looking for ‘rent a cock’. These men are humans you know and most guys want to be wanted for themselves not just for their penis. "
And ? It's a sex site not a relationship or dating site. Quite alot of men are happy to fuck a women and leave though lol . Ridiculous comment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social helps to see if there’s any connection. I know some people don’t mind but personally for me if there’s no connection then I’m not likely to enjoy the sex. "
Where as for us, the thought of a social meet fills Mrs with anxiety.
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" I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that .
This’s sounds like you’re just looking for ‘rent a cock’. These men are humans you know and most guys want to be wanted for themselves not just for their penis.
And ? It's a sex site not a relationship or dating site. Quite alot of men are happy to fuck a women and leave though lol . Ridiculous comment "
It's ridiculous to think this is just a 'sex site".
Swinging isn't just sex and so many join thinking that and that's why they fail miserably.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I'm not sure if my Mrs would like a social she says it's just sex she don't want nothing more than that .
This’s sounds like you’re just looking for ‘rent a cock’. These men are humans you know and most guys want to be wanted for themselves not just for their penis.
And ? It's a sex site not a relationship or dating site. Quite alot of men are happy to fuck a women and leave though lol . Ridiculous comment
It's ridiculous to think this is just a 'sex site".
Swinging isn't just sex and so many join thinking that and that's why they fail miserably.
"
I'd like to agree, though a site is how the majority use it rather than its initial intent of use.
So many see/treat this as a sex site.
In itself, it is a sex site based around swinging.
The directing rooms in the video chat, the top dabbed pictures and videos, the options to select what sexual activities we seek, etc etc.
The site is how we use it, and it's heavily aimed towards the sexual aspect.
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"A social helps to see if there’s any connection. I know some people don’t mind but personally for me if there’s no connection then I’m not likely to enjoy the sex.
Where as for us, the thought of a social meet fills Mrs with anxiety.
"
Totally agree! The guys we meet are our sex toys (and very happy to be that!), we’ve got plenty of friends, we don’t need more.
I sense a bit of swingers snobbery from some; people use the site in whatever way they choose. We don’t all have to socialise or be ‘swingers’ in the traditional sense |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A social helps to see if there’s any connection. I know some people don’t mind but personally for me if there’s no connection then I’m not likely to enjoy the sex.
Where as for us, the thought of a social meet fills Mrs with anxiety.
Totally agree! The guys we meet are our sex toys (and very happy to be that!), we’ve got plenty of friends, we don’t need more.
I sense a bit of swingers snobbery from some; people use the site in whatever way they choose. We don’t all have to socialise or be ‘swingers’ in the traditional sense "
Thank you finally someone |
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My advice - go to a club.
Clubs are so relaxed, friendly and can be just like any other night out of that’s what you choose. It will give you a really gentle introduction with no expectations. Turn up, have a drink and go with the flow.
Inviting a guy to a hotel means it’s going to happen and she may feel pressure to follow through. A club can be an amazing experience without any sex. |
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By *azpiz1Man
over a year ago
Camberley |
My personal first experience was with a couple on here.
We chatted for a while here, then met for a social, to check none of us had two heads or something, and to see if there was a mutual attraction.
From there, they invited me to their house, for a "soft swap" only meet (all foreplay, no penetration), which I gladly agreed to, and went very well.
On our second meet, things progressed, and we've seen each other a couple of times since!
I'd suggest that you do something similar, and make sure whoever you invite agrees to, and sticks to your boundaries.
Above all, have fun! |
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That scenario sounds much much more nerve wracking than a club.... We plucked up the courage to visit a club for the first time last Saturday. We were very nervous of course, but once through the doors we quickly relaxed, as everyone was so friendly and there was no pushyness at all. We loved it! |
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