FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Losing it

Losing it

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I think I’m losing my sex drive! I’m just not tempted by anyone on here these days and say no thanks to all the offers I get

Used to be rampant and could’ve had sex several times a day if I could. This has all been since Covid started.

Any advice or has anyone else experienced this? It’s really bothering me!

Not had sex in AGES and only occasionally masturbate but it doesn’t seem to bother me one bit

I keep trying to rekindle my drive by coming on here and checking out profiles etc but even what would be classed as the hottest and sexiest profiles by most women aren’t even batting my eyelids. Help!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We totally lost our mojo both during and after covid to the point of having no interest in swinging/meeting at all.

It’s only in the last couple of weeks that we’ve given any thought to starting again, possibly with a club visit.

I suspect there’s a lot of people feeling the same. The long reaching effects of the pandemic were unexpected and still continue.

Hope things improve for you OP x

Viv

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you Viv

It’s good to know I’m not abnormal or something and that other people have felt the same.

Someone messaged me privately to ask if I’ve been to see my GP. I haven’t. Don’t know if I should. I feel a bit embarrassed by it if I’m honest so easier to speak on here rather than to friends

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By *appytaffWoman over a year ago

blackwood

"Thank you Viv

It’s good to know I’m not abnormal or something and that other people have felt the same.

I guess the pandemic made many realise just how risky the world can be , not to mention we all trained ourselves to stay as far away from people as possible , completely natural to lose your mojo

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thank you Viv

It’s good to know I’m not abnormal or something and that other people have felt the same.

I guess the pandemic made many realise just how risky the world can be , not to mention we all trained ourselves to stay as far away from people as possible , completely natural to lose your mojo "

How do I get it back?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally understand why you’d feel embarrassed, however your GP could take bloods to check your hormone levels in case that’s an issue.

It depends on how badly the situation is bothering you. I always had a very high sex drive and I struggled initially with how I was feeling then came acceptance.(Not sure which one was worse!)

Here to chat to as an older voice of reason if needed.

Viv

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By *inxy300Woman over a year ago

nottinghamshire

Only time I guess..

I know exactly where your coming from, its like yes I want it because I had fun but your body and mind is like naaa have a cuppa instead lol

I went to chams few weeks back hoping to get something back but stayed a hour and left just didn't do it for me ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks

I’m avoiding going to a GP as all they’ll do after bloods is give medication and I’m not the pill popping type

I’ll give it a bit longer and see how it goes x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Only time I guess..

I know exactly where your coming from, its like yes I want it because I had fun but your body and mind is like naaa have a cuppa instead lol

I went to chams few weeks back hoping to get something back but stayed a hour and left just didn't do it for me ..

Has your drive dipped since Covid too?

I’m just trying pin point a reason. I wasn’t even that aware til a few months ago and thought I was just too fussy (it has been known) but I think it’s more than that

Just need to get back to my usual self!

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By *mp411Man over a year ago

chester

Get back in the saddle so to speak

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I can relate, I love the club social scene but hardly ever feel like getting intimately involved.

My mojo just isn't around often these days.

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By *intsizedpocketrocketsCouple over a year ago

Stafford

"I think I’m losing my sex drive! I’m just not tempted by anyone on here these days and say no thanks to all the offers I get

Used to be rampant and could’ve had sex several times a day if I could. This has all been since Covid started.

Any advice or has anyone else experienced this? It’s really bothering me!

Not had sex in AGES and only occasionally masturbate but it doesn’t seem to bother me one bit

First off I'm sorry to hear this OP. It's tough when something you used to value and enjoy just doesn't light that fire anymore.

If it's at all possible for you to get to your GP I would really recommend it. Go see whoever your most comfy with at the practice, usually someone female and younger in my experience and just be honest and describe it as you have here. Yes they'll probably do some blood tests and things, but at the end of the day you can refuse any treatment they recommend.

There's so many things that can affect drive and desire, some more important to address than others, but lots of ways to help too.

Other than that just try to take things at your own pace. The world was been through the ringer the last few years and so it's natural libidos and all other manner of things are topsy turvy.

Hope things get better for you OP!

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By *inxy300Woman over a year ago

nottinghamshire

"Only time I guess..

I know exactly where your coming from, its like yes I want it because I had fun but your body and mind is like naaa have a cuppa instead lol

I went to chams few weeks back hoping to get something back but stayed a hour and left just didn't do it for me ..

Has your drive dipped since Covid too?

I’m just trying pin point a reason. I wasn’t even that aware til a few months ago and thought I was just too fussy (it has been known) but I think it’s more than that

Just need to get back to my usual self! "

I look back started to decline around 6 months ago

Could be menopausal for me? I have no idea as not checked it out.

Covid may have something to do with it, it was a long time before we could meet, can give a bit of a confidence knock.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Get back in the saddle so to speak "

I’ve no desire too though, that’s the problem

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I can relate, I love the club social scene but hardly ever feel like getting intimately involved.

My mojo just isn't around often these days. "

Is that since covid?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Only time I guess..

I know exactly where your coming from, its like yes I want it because I had fun but your body and mind is like naaa have a cuppa instead lol

I went to chams few weeks back hoping to get something back but stayed a hour and left just didn't do it for me ..

Has your drive dipped since Covid too?

I’m just trying pin point a reason. I wasn’t even that aware til a few months ago and thought I was just too fussy (it has been known) but I think it’s more than that

Just need to get back to my usual self!

I look back started to decline around 6 months ago

Could be menopausal for me? I have no idea as not checked it out.

Covid may have something to do with it, it was a long time before we could meet, can give a bit of a confidence knock.

I do feel like I’ve lost confidence too. I’m hoping it just clicks back into place. Hoping this hot weather might help lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/22 00:10:44]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think I’m losing my sex drive! I’m just not tempted by anyone on here these days and say no thanks to all the offers I get

Used to be rampant and could’ve had sex several times a day if I could. This has all been since Covid started.

Any advice or has anyone else experienced this? It’s really bothering me!

Not had sex in AGES and only occasionally masturbate but it doesn’t seem to bother me one bit

First off I'm sorry to hear this OP. It's tough when something you used to value and enjoy just doesn't light that fire anymore.

There's so many things that can affect drive and desire, some more important to address than others, but lots of ways to help too.

Other than that just try to take things at your own pace. The world was been through the ringer the last few years and so it's natural libidos and all other manner of things are topsy turvy.

Hope things get better for you OP!

Thank you. Appreciate your message x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Peri menopause? I started with symptoms at 42 years old. Google the symptoms (over 66 of them...) you might find you tick some other boxes too. My main ones were insomnia (90 min to 4 hours sleep a night from being a solid sleeper all my life) and hot flushes at night only. Loss of libedo is another main symptom.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve felt this for over a year now. I just can’t be arsed. I have the odd moment but that’s about it. I’m not bothered though, I’ve got much better things to be doing.

I’ve been to the gp who said everything looks fine so I’ve left it be.

If you want your drive back (I don’t) turn definitely visit your GP as a starting point

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By *esparate danMan over a year ago

glasgow

"I’ve felt this for over a year now. I just can’t be arsed. I have the odd moment but that’s about it. I’m not bothered though, I’ve got much better things to be doing.

I’ve been to the gp who said everything looks fine so I’ve left it be.

If you want your drive back (I don’t) turn definitely visit your GP as a starting point

Youve just had your vagina rejuvinated ..of course he was going to say everything looks fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’ve felt this for over a year now. I just can’t be arsed. I have the odd moment but that’s about it. I’m not bothered though, I’ve got much better things to be doing.

I’ve been to the gp who said everything looks fine so I’ve left it be.

If you want your drive back (I don’t) turn definitely visit your GP as a starting point

Youve just had your vagina rejuvinated ..of course he was going to say everything looks fine "

He didn’t check my vagina. Just bloods, thyroid, hormone levels and that kind of thing. Unless you’re complaining of pain, the GP won’t usually access your vagina.

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By *heonixrising500Man over a year ago

Barnsley

I lost me sex drive for a good while but back rampant again it's all in the mind

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By *ellinever70Woman over a year ago

Ayrshire

Sounds like the idea of meaningless sex just isn't floating your boat.

I don't think your gp can help with that

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By *hiny-SinnersCouple over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

"I lost me sex drive for a good while but back rampant again it's all in the mind"

Menopause most definitely isn’t just “all in the mind”!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks everyone for your replies

It’s good to know it’s not just me

Gp appointment booked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel the same sometimes. Today i wanted a cuddle nothing more.i am lucky as i have a lovely neighbour across the road.i sometimes when i see him i go over and get a nice cuddle off him. Makes my day and also its all innocent.

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By *harliebbwWoman over a year ago

Birmingham

your not alone, I know I am no longer interested in meeting. keep my account to flip the forums. I put it down to the less I get the less I want.

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By *urious_Couple20Couple over a year ago

Rochester

Are you playing by yourself at all? I've found that sometimes it's like an old car... it's dormant until it's awakened and then little by little, it comes back.

I hope you find something that helps and you get your mojo back

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you on emaprozole ? Or other PPI ? for gastric issues GERD etc ? If so, adopt an irritant free diet Inc NO ALCOHOL

.. come off the meds and it should return. Huge swathes of the population are on PPIs.

Meds would be my first suspicion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And stress ... Stress or worry of any sort is a sure fire reason for lack of sex drive, certainly for me. We are surrounded by stress and worrysome news feeds. These days. Try deleting them, put on some of your fav upbeat music rather than the news ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Are you on emaprozole ? Or other PPI ? for gastric issues GERD etc ? If so, adopt an irritant free diet Inc NO ALCOHOL

.. come off the meds and it should return. Huge swathes of the population are on PPIs.

Meds would be my first suspicion. "

Nope I’m not on any medication

As an update, had a GP check bloods etc.. all normal

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By *inx_xxWoman over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Hey Anna

I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been exactly the same and I'm a similar age. I had my hormone levels checked by telling the GP that I thought I was Peri menopausal (not a massive swinger with zero sex drive) all was well in the hormone department.

My conclusion is....since lockdown I have turned 40 which obviously means I will no longer tolerate bad sex and I'm obviously holding out for something mind blowing.

Find something/someone to ignite the fire and keep riding the horse until it comes back

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