FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Menopause
Menopause
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"Looking for help, advice, whatever you call it. We had a great sex life, at home, away, and we attended clubs (although only played with each other - we went for the atmosphere more than the swinging). Then bosh, covid, then double bosh, menopause. Now, our sex life is non existent. I understand its not anyones fault, I understand most, if not all, couples must go through this, but, it doesnt stop me being hurt by the complete rejection. And yes, I have told her how I feel. I honestly dont know what to do. Is this thing temporary, or permenant, if temp, how temporary ?. If this is temporsry, I can live with it, be by her side, but, if this is permenant, I honestly cant go without intimacy for the next 25 + years. Anyone else been / going through it ?, any advice ?. Thanks" Get a conservatory, buy some jigsaws and start watching Countdown  | |||
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"I'm hoping I'm at the tail end of surgically induced menopause. Been on hrt from the get go but for me, it rocked my already shaky world. My sex drive was and is the least of my issues. For 3yrs my head rained almost constantly, the sleep disturbance wrecks your equilibrium alone... It is absolute hell, and while all that's kicking off mid life crisis kicks in. I reckon some empathy and sensitivity would go a long way. Rather than this toddler-esq "what about me waaaaa" grow the fuck up you selfish individual. " Some women are on HRT for years as there are many health benefits. | |||
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"I’ve recently started on HRT and it’s been great. Your partner should speak to her GP about her symptoms. There are support groups on Facebook as well which are great. You do need to do some research, I’m quite sure she feels a lot worse than you do. " Totally agree with this just recently started hrt it had been amazing | |||
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"Thank you all for some great advice. However, I would just like to quote this one, as, this is so unhelpful and speaking honestly, probably contributes to a lot of divorces in the world. No - I just don't want a wank !!!!!!!! I can do that anytime - I did it when I was a single 12 yr old, I can do it now BUT thats not what this is about !!!!. After 30 odd happy years, it feels like my wife is repulsed if I try and touch her - can you imahine how hurtful that is ?. Females who think this, or were going to say it, think about if you tried to touch your partner and he looked at you with eyes that said 'god don't, I kind stand ghe thought of having sex with you' How would you feel ?. So misunderstood from a guys side" Sorry, no, wont understand this from a mans side. When i started the menopause, i couldn't be touched. And yup, probably threw a few death stares. Try asking your wife why. For me, my skin was sore, and itchy. Yup, men suffer while we go through a massive life change. But men dont go through it like women do. You don't have the hot flushes, the night sweats, brain fog, pain, itching, sensitive skin, nausea, headaches and a 100 other symptoms we deal with. Sorry, no sympathy for you. Talk to her. Educate yourself. And stop feeling sorry for yourself Its not about you | |||
"Looking for help, advice, whatever you call it. We had a great sex life, at home, away, and we attended clubs (although only played with each other - we went for the atmosphere more than the swinging). Then bosh, covid, then double bosh, menopause. Now, our sex life is non existent. I understand its not anyones fault, I understand most, if not all, couples must go through this, but, it doesnt stop me being hurt by the complete rejection. And yes, I have told her how I feel. I honestly dont know what to do. Is this thing temporary, or permenant, if temp, how temporary ?. If this is temporsry, I can live with it, be by her side, but, if this is permenant, I honestly cant go without intimacy for the next 25 + years. Anyone else been / going through it ?, any advice ?. Thanks" I'm sorry if this comes across rude..but I'm just speaking the truth. First of all yes it will be difficult on you but have a think about how your wife is feeling right now, menopaus can be as the other person said debilitating and she is probably going through it with the feeling of guilt on top of that because she has to say no to you. Secondly...assuming your married or have been together for a very long time not surely you knew this would come at some point, like it does with every woman of age? Can you imagine the hurt your fine lady would feel if you ended this relationship over something she has no control of? And seriously what sort of man would even think like that..as I said that's assuming you have been together for some time.. so if you finish this..are you just going to keep going through women until they hit menopause then move on again? Yes it sounds harsh.. but trust me this woman has more than likely done everything in her power to make you happy, to put 100% effort into your relationship and at a time she needs you to be there and comfort, understand her. all you can think about is the sex and that you can't do it if there is no sex..please don't be that guy, and just try to be there for her. | |||
"Thank you all for some great advice. However, I would just like to quote this one, as, this is so unhelpful and speaking honestly, probably contributes to a lot of divorces in the world. No - I just don't want a wank !!!!!!!! I can do that anytime - I did it when I was a single 12 yr old, I can do it now BUT thats not what this is about !!!!. After 30 odd happy years, it feels like my wife is repulsed if I try and touch her - can you imahine how hurtful that is ?. Females who think this, or were going to say it, think about if you tried to touch your partner and he looked at you with eyes that said 'god don't, I kind stand ghe thought of having sex with you' How would you feel ?. So misunderstood from a guys side" Meh! Bin her off then? | |||
"Really ? Is this not the same woman you have loved and has loved you ? Yes there are changes, however I'm sure your lady is just as frustrated and even more annoyed about what her body is going through. She will have enough to contend with without her other half feeling rejected. I bet she is feeling things a whole lot worse than rejection. Patience, understanding and alternative ways to play and be intimate really should be what's on your mind until she gets through this. Menopause isn't going to last for the rest of her life but while it's taking it's toll I'm sure support and understanding are what she needs more than sex right now." excellent Also I know my wife feels the same and she started at 48 and she 57 now She was on hrt but had mild breast cancer so had to come off hrt She's waiting to see a specialist at St Mary's as there is a testosterone tablet she could use so here's hoping As lots of others have said be patient and lots of questions and research From 1 man 2 another i Wish you all the best and ur wife  | |||
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"Thank you all for some great advice. However, I would just like to quote this one, as, this is so unhelpful and speaking honestly, probably contributes to a lot of divorces in the world. No - I just don't want a wank !!!!!!!! I can do that anytime - I did it when I was a single 12 yr old, I can do it now BUT thats not what this is about !!!!. After 30 odd happy years, it feels like my wife is repulsed if I try and touch her - can you imahine how hurtful that is ?. Females who think this, or were going to say it, think about if you tried to touch your partner and he looked at you with eyes that said 'god don't, I kind stand ghe thought of having sex with you' How would you feel ?. So misunderstood from a guys side" | |||
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"Menopause had the effect of virtually ending my wife’s desire for sex. After a few years she opted for HRT and she feels much better for it but her desire for sex is basically once maybe twice a month when I masturbate her to orgasm. Occasionally that is followed by intercourse but normally either she or I will masturbate me to completion. She recognises my needs and encouraged me to masturbate by self when we together in bed a couple of times a week. We used to be very adventurous and have visited seining saunas but that is all over now and she has told me she had no desire to return to our old sex like. Get used to the change. " So doesn’t she know your on fab? | |||
"Menopause had the effect of virtually ending my wife’s desire for sex. After a few years she opted for HRT and she feels much better for it but her desire for sex is basically once maybe twice a month when I masturbate her to orgasm. Occasionally that is followed by intercourse but normally either she or I will masturbate me to completion. She recognises my needs and encouraged me to masturbate by self when we together in bed a couple of times a week. We used to be very adventurous and have visited seining saunas but that is all over now and she has told me she had no desire to return to our old sex like. Get used to the change. So doesn’t she know your on fab?" One of the reasons I’m on here. She knows I’m bi but doesn’t wish to take part any longer. I have no interest in an emotional relationship and she doesn’t want me to tell her any details of anyone I have met or what we do but every so often I need to satisfy my urge to have fun with a guy. | |||
