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Newbie Solo Male Attending Club
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, New here...wanted some tips/ advice thoughts on me attending a club event as a solo male (I know many have set nights) but is there anything I should know before stepping out there. |
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It’s terrifying even as a couple! First time, we sat in the car for ages, chickened out and drove home! We did try again & although it wasn’t really our thing, it definitely wasn’t anything to be terrified of! |
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It's scary, especially if social situations are difficult for you naturally. But remember all humans are ridiculous by nature and the chances that we actually exist at all on this earth is a crazy fluke. Take comfort in this and dont take yourself to serious. Go and smile and be friendly and risk taking to strangers. Risk rejection and feeling foolishly. And accept this will happen. If your freindly, respectful and decent people will be back likewise, even if it's a no. One of your biggest risks is not taking the risk to chat to people your interested in. In a club rarely do things come to you as a single guy. So if you sit in the corner and speak to no one your night will stay like that.
The other big danger if at a club where its a problem is joining the wanking dead. I understand the security of joining big groups of other men. And I'm not saying don't socialise or make freinds with other guys if your intentions aren't to bed them. Just don't send all your night and attention with other guys if your looking to hook. It's not attractive, reduces your visibility and makes it harder for anyone who may want to approach you.
Probably goes without saying but wash, smell good and brush your teeth. Not everyone of all sexs does. And never forget to smile. |
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"It’s terrifying even as a couple! First time, we sat in the car for ages, chickened out and drove home! We did try again & although it wasn’t really our thing, it definitely wasn’t anything to be terrified of! "
I'd been to clubs before I met My other half. The first time we went to a club I practically had to shove her through the entrance she was so nervous. Within about 20 mins she was at home and making new freinds like she'd been doing it for years. Often the greatest barrier is actually going in the first time. I was nervous as hell first time I went alone and not knowing anyone. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
Generally, the good low pressure places to get conversation going is the hot tub and the smoking area - even if you don’t smoke. Your first trip is exploration - you’re going to find out about the club and yourself. How do you feel watching other people play? How do you feel about being watched? What might you want to try?
And on your first visit, you have an amazing icebreaker. You can ask people for advice for newbies. |
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Go to a local organized social first and get yourself known.
It's all about networking, you may not fancy the people you meet at the social but what about the hot friend you find them sitting with at the club? |
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"Hi all, New here...wanted some tips/ advice thoughts on me attending a club event as a solo male (I know many have set nights) but is there anything I should know before stepping out there."
Go with a female friend  |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
The clubs I've experienced usually end up with two parts to the night. The first part is social. Use it! Put sex to the back of your mind and join in any conversations that you can. And yes, even if you don't smoke, the smoking area often ends up the best place for this.
Go regularly if you can, and get known as a decent and likable person. There are two types of single man on the scene - the ones everyone complains about, and the good ones. The good ones are very welcome in clubs.
Going on my own forced me to break out of my shy shell and be sociable. It was hard, but I'm glad I did. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all, New here...wanted some tips/ advice thoughts on me attending a club event as a solo male (I know many have set nights) but is there anything I should know before stepping out there."
Good luck, it can be a little daunting the first time, just be yourself and mind your manners, no means no... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I chat to single guys at a club best advice I can give them is interact with people, mingle and be respectful. It shows people what kind of a guy you are.. iv seen guys stand around wanking and following people it really does put people off and then they complain they’ve had a crap night  Being part of a couple and also as a single female I find when there’s chatting and banter going on it eases you and also shows what kind of guy you are if your willing to partake in conversation.. for me I’d rather play with someone Iv spoken to than a random guy wanking in doorways and corners  |
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It’s no different from going to your local pub.
Apart from people walking around half naked, rooms to have sex in, exhibitionist areas to have sex in, some have dungeons, having to bring your own booze to some events, lockers and changing rooms.
As I say, just like your local pub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a couples perspective -
Don’t follow anyone around, and be friendly! Chat to people, be respectful and it usually helps if you are funny.
We personally find funny chatty men far more interesting than ones stood in a corner with
the other men staring at the wife’s boobs… rather than coming over and having a laugh
- Griz |
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Been a regular at chams for a while now, you will soon learn and see the other single guys follow women and couples around ,think they are getting there health steps up lol but no seriously be yourself chill and you will be surprised how easy it is to chat and communicate and before you know they are asking you ,expect nothing ,expect the unexpected, |
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My advice would be:
1. Use it to socialise, if your a single male going alone and know no one, you need to be open and social.
2. Have no sexual expectations.
3. Have a look at the events pages, pick something that you think may suit and reach out to some people who maybe going.
5. Be able to rejection, some people *not all* can be a bit prickly and rude. That’s okay.
6. Keep open minded and enjoy. It’s like going to a pub and knowing no one, it’s amazing what a smile and open minded approach can do for you.
Good Luck. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
Just use basic common sense… and don’t be a tit!!!
If you need to be told how to interact as a decent person with other human beings, then no amount of advice will help!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s quite scary I stood outside debating should I or shouldn’t I. But I went in was nice and chilled and just had a few drinks if I can go in alone anyone can good luck ?? |
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