FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > First meet cancellations
First meet cancellations
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
Never had a no show.
I have a social within 2 weeks of first chatting. No sex chat at all before the social. If they do I won't meet them at all.
Trust your gut.  |
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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago
East Northamptonshire |
It I'd s big flag and whether we give another chance will depend on what the excuse is and whether they have been considerate enough to our own inconvenience.
It will also depend on our own feelings towards how much we want to meet that person, such as initial attraction of photos.
In general though, s no show without explanation or s last minute 'can't make it' after seeming enthusiastic, would just right them off and we would move on.
Generally for a social we look on it as a drink out and maybe food for ourselves so if someone doesn't turn up then they are the ones that have lost out and we still have each other. It is still frustrating though to have someone effectivekybwaste your time in making arrangements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
Zero tolerance.
Our time is far too precious to have to second guess if they'll turn up the second time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's a real shame.
A couple I met recently asked me to live share my location on whatsapp as I drove.
May sound a bit much but they'd had no shows last minute before, and it apparrently gets rid of quite a lot! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks folks…it’s definitely different if we already know someone but impossible to trust people we’ve never met before…it does irk though as time is precious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
Surprised you've been blown out.
Wish I still played on Mere Heath Lane......
Would be very local |
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I had a meet arranged for Monday, 2nd time we`ve arranged, just come on here to confirm, lo and behold he`s disappeared again, Strangely all his messages have disappeared too, never known that happen before . He won`t be getting another chance if he turns up again on here |
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
It's terribly frustrating and only happened a few times for us.
We always initially meet for a social drink and chat, if a no show we've had a nice evening in the pub together.
Wouldn't meet anyone without verifications if they have been on the site for a while.
Wishing you best of luck for the future, normal service seems to be resuming.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened to me loads.
I usually invite them to mine for drinks, that way there's no pressure.
It's usually chatting for a bit to see if we've similar interests.
So if they do cancel depending on the excuse they might get a second chance. |
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Better a last minute cancellation than a no show! And I have had many, and every time I think I should leave the site. But I am naive... I always believe in people expecially after a long chat and sometimes even a phone call...
It's so hard for a single gent here to get an appointment, and it's harder walk back home alone in the dark. |
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By *renzMan
over a year ago
Between Chichester and Havant |
It would have to be what seems to be a genuine reason, then I may give a second chance. But I regularly check in with them to make sure they are still able to. If it goes silent then obviously it's not a good sign. If they cancel minutes before with what seems to be a genuine excuse then I would give them a second chance. But never a third! |
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
I run a ‘two strikes and you’re out’ rule; the first cancellation can be down to circumstances, the second is taking the piss |
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It all depends on how much notice they give me and the reason.
If I don't think it's Genuine,I wouldn't give another chance
When I was single it took me a year to meet someone and then it really wasn't worth it tbh .
I can usually tell if they're attention is elsewhere though ,the messages dry up in the days before a meet.In that case I always assume they'll cancel me ,so I'm ready for the excuse . |
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I recently asked someone to send me a live pic just to prove they are genuine after 2 cancellations and she wouldn’t budge. So after blocking her on whatsapp she got in touch again last week to meet up. Surprise, surprise, she cancelled which I fully expected and was prepared for. |
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A cancellation via a communication I would accept.
A second cancellation via a communication I would not accept.
Someone disappearing before the time we said we'd meet for coffee would have no second chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks folks for your much valued experience…the two let downs in the last couple of months were on the morning of a lunchtime social and 30 minutes before the meet…we’ll stick with our zero tolerance for first timers and more understanding for people we’ve met before |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet cancel our first meet but I gave him a second chance, he's now my husband
Hope for us all then."
Definitely. I certainly didn't expect to find my husband on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a meet cancel our first meet but I gave him a second chance, he's now my husband
Hope for us all then.
Definitely. I certainly didn't expect to find my husband on here. "
Imagine it could end up being an r rated film. |
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Personally, I have such little free time so I tend to block no matter how ‘serious’ the excuse seems...
Especially if I have spent additional time getting ready, or money buying new sexy lingerie especially for the meet.
It’s the best way to sort the quality/serious people from the time wasters honestly. |
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"I had a meet arranged for Monday, 2nd time we`ve arranged, just come on here to confirm, lo and behold he`s disappeared again, Strangely all his messages have disappeared too, never known that happen before . He won`t be getting another chance if he turns up again on here "
If all his messages have gone then he's left the site.
When they leave all messages are automatically deleted. |
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Never had a no show,but a few cancelled same day as meet arranged, had one couple cancel when had a hotel booked.Can slightly understand as single male meeting a couple can be quite daunting at first,but would never let anyone down with a no show,would definitely block anyone who does . |
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"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
Play it by ear really, we had three in one week. But cos we didn’t just bum them off, we’ve subsequently met and had a really good time! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was a couple we messaged who advertised a meet, plenty of verifications. Told them we were planning on going to a club but wanted to try a private meet, we were messaging while getting ready then responses stopped.
About 11:30ish we go a half arsed response say saying they weren't sure about filming. This is despite us saying it's optional to us and not something we insist on. By that time it was a bit too late to go out and we should've just gone a club.
Its frustrating but in fairness we were a bit naive to assume folks with private meet veris are genuine all the time. We expect one of the couple wasnt really up for a meet that day.
Lesson learned going forward, we plan on ensuring our first private meet is near a club, or at least an area we want to visit anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Considering the effort you go through planning a meet and then the physical prepping on the day or leading upto it, personally I'd be inclined to block and move on.
Especially so to anyone that drops the bombshell the hours before when they know full well you'll be mid getting ready.
And ghosting people is incredibly low!
If that happens, fully expect to see it advertised for all in our status or bio lol |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Take it on the chin and move on.
People do can el for a variety of reasons including a loss of nerve.
Sometimes it can't be helped.
I think what's telling is how they do it. If they apologise and try to reschedule, I see it as genuine.
If they don't and then ghost yiu theybare taking the piss and shohkd be blocked.
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"That's a real shame.
A couple I met recently asked me to live share my location on whatsapp as I drove.
May sound a bit much but they'd had no shows last minute before, and it apparrently gets rid of quite a lot!"
I have used that system. Never gave the exact address. Told them to call when they got to a particular spot where I could see them.
Most were ok but I had the odd ones who were circa 20 miles away saying "I am here now. Which house?"  I would suggest a future involving sex and travel. |
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Sadly it happens. We was run around a number of times. Even a couple of times by the same couple.
We now try to pick a place where we nolonger feel out of place waiting Ie go and have a meal or a coffee. So we can still have a nice time if they fail to turn up. Since making this choice. Tbh only been letdown once. But not for a long time.
There has never yet been a time we failed to turn up. A few minuets late a few times. (Traffic)
Hubs. |
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"I had a meet arranged for Monday, 2nd time we`ve arranged, just come on here to confirm, lo and behold he`s disappeared again, Strangely all his messages have disappeared too, never known that happen before . He won`t be getting another chance if he turns up again on here "
I had this happen on Monday! Just for a social, glad I was just laid on the sofa when I checked, got back under the blanket and had a nap. |
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"I had a meet arranged for Monday, 2nd time we`ve arranged, just come on here to confirm, lo and behold he`s disappeared again, Strangely all his messages have disappeared too, never known that happen before . He won`t be getting another chance if he turns up again on here
If all his messages have gone then he's left the site.
When they leave all messages are automatically deleted. "
Thanks for that,,,,I`ve always had a message that can`t reply to a message cos user has left the site,,,,,so good to know its changed
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"I had a meet arranged for Monday, 2nd time we`ve arranged, just come on here to confirm, lo and behold he`s disappeared again, Strangely all his messages have disappeared too, never known that happen before . He won`t be getting another chance if he turns up again on here
I had this happen on Monday! Just for a social, glad I was just laid on the sofa when I checked, got back under the blanket and had a nap."
Maybe it was the same Guy,,,lol |
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By *ammo89Man
over a year ago
Aberdeen |
I've had someone cancel twice at the last minute, so decided to block them and move on. That was not long after I first joined.
Now, I think I'd be much more lenient, given how few opportunities I get to meet anyone |
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"I'm pretty zero tolerance. Best way to be on here I think."
Quote possibly the only way! Obviously you can feel if a cancellation is genuine, the other party generally try and make it as painless as possible. But just standing you up..... Next! |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"We’ve had two in the last few weeks…one when dressed and ready to leave home…we opt for zero tolerance…what do others do? Frustrating…"
If the meeting is cancelled 24h in advance for a good reason - probably I’d understand.
If it is cancelled last minute, no matter the reason - I’ll just block and move on. No hard feelings, it’s just how the Universe want it to be  |
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