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Cancel Culture vs Male Seduction
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I recently saw a report saying that Transport London Police are considering looking / starring at someone can be considered as a sexual assault.
I don’t know how they can police this.
We’ve all seen or experienced idiots who can’t read situations, it can be scary for anyone to be aggressively perused when you’re not interested.
To certain extent it happens on this site, a guy gets rejected and the become abusive.
They make up a minority.
They can fuck off!!!!!!!!
But for those males who respect women and their boundaries.
Over the years it seems like we’re losing the art of seduction.
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I think some of the causes of this decline are rooted within good movements to empower women.
Like the “The me to” which I support.
But it has never been a open conversation we’re both parties heal.
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts? |
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I think that there are a large minority of men who have absolutely no awareness of how their behaviour affects women. These are the men that are being targeted.
The art of seduction and the type of behaviour you're talking about are poles apart |
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"
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts?"
...........................
It's victim based? Yes, that's just how it should be.
Males as the villains? Yes, it's often predatory behaviour that leads to that conclusion. |
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Anyone staring at me on public transport, whether they want to "seduce" me or steal my brain for scientific experiments, can take a long walk off a short pier.
Male, female, non binary, idgaf. Leave me alone.
If reducing harassment means we lose "seduction", it's an incredibly worthy loss. |
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"
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
"
I don't think it is "taboo", but if it makes men think more carefully about approaching women on the tube, in the gym, walking down the street - good.
I'm not a woman, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of the time, they are not looking to get chatted up as they go about their daily lives.
What's so terrible about keeping your seduction attempts for clubs, pubs, parties, and other social occasions and other wise leaving women alone? |
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"
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I don't think it is "taboo", but if it makes men think more carefully about approaching women on the tube, in the gym, walking down the street - good.
I'm not a woman, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of the time, they are not looking to get chatted up as they go about their daily lives.
What's so terrible about keeping your seduction attempts for clubs, pubs, parties, and other social occasions and other wise leaving women alone? "
.................................
Fantastic post, thank you  |
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"
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I don't think it is "taboo", but if it makes men think more carefully about approaching women on the tube, in the gym, walking down the street - good.
I'm not a woman, but I'll go out on a limb and say that the vast majority of the time, they are not looking to get chatted up as they go about their daily lives.
What's so terrible about keeping your seduction attempts for clubs, pubs, parties, and other social occasions and other wise leaving women alone? "
*standing ovation* |
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I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
"
................................
Personally I believe she was wrong in accusing you, moreso demanding to see the contents of your phone and not feeling an apology was appropriate.
I know it might sound melodramatic but in your situation I might have been tempted to ask her to call the police to resolve the situation, not that I think any law had been broken. |
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My guy!!!
I think you are mixing up a whole heap of topics and things here. Your premise is from a lot of things and your target message or conversation is lost in the post.
Trust me, I feel you but I don't think you've articulated it sufficiently enough nor chosen the best platform for it. What do I know?
I may be wrong. |
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By *aliceWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
Cancel culture? I'd love to know who has been cancelled. Most of the people moaning about being cancelled are incredibly successful comedians who have made careers out of punching down, and there are no shortage of people still prepared to pay to see that sort of material.
As others have said, if you can't tell the diferrence between seduction and stating at women who are very often in situations where they are vulnerable then maybe a legal remedy might provide some clarity.
With an estimated 50 or so sexual offences taking place on the London underground network every day any action if frankly welcome and overdue. |
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"Cancel culture? I'd love to know who has been cancelled. Most of the people moaning about being cancelled are incredibly successful comedians who have made careers out of punching down, and there are no shortage of people still prepared to pay to see that sort of material.
As others have said, if you can't tell the diferrence between seduction and stating at women who are very often in situations where they are vulnerable then maybe a legal remedy might provide some clarity.
With an estimated 50 or so sexual offences taking place on the London underground network every day any action if frankly welcome and overdue."
So much of "cancel culture" seems to be privileged people complaining about consequences of their own actions.
Let me play a sad song on the world's smallest violin  |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
"
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that. |
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"As London Transport Police don’t exist and if they did they still don’t make the law, I wouldn’t take that report to seriously. "
Op means the BTP…..god some people can be so shitty? Wouldn’t you agree? |
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that. "
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after"
Oh, I don’t think she’s in the right here either. I personally think they should have both apologised to the other, because they both contributed to a messy and embarrassing situation, but sadly I don’t run the world. |
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
................................
Personally I believe she was wrong in accusing you, moreso demanding to see the contents of your phone and not feeling an apology was appropriate.
I know it might sound melodramatic but in your situation I might have been tempted to ask her to call the police to resolve the situation, not that I think any law had been broken."
I thought this. I also thought about pointing out one what crime does she think I've committed and two what did she think the police would do and did she expect them even to arrive anytime soon (or even in the week). But I thought better of it in the end. Because I just wanted it to go away and I didn't want to be a dick to her, she obviously had a genuine concern. I get the impression she was a little deflated as she'd psyched her self up to march over and fight the good fight only to realise there was no villain or fight to fight. Still disappointed not to at least say sorry, I was rather upset. In the end I made the right decision. I had better things to do that wait for the police or worry about them knocking on my door, the police totally have better things to do and it stopped her getting egg on her face. Maybe things in her past had made her sensitive and paranoid of men, I don't know. But hopefully she'll show restraint before throwing out wild accusations to men enjoying a peaceful coffee in future. |
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after
Oh, I don’t think she’s in the right here either. I personally think they should have both apologised to the other, because they both contributed to a messy and embarrassing situation, but sadly I don’t run the world. "
I not entirely sure what I'm expected to apologise for. I did nothing wrong. I talked to her respectfully, calmly and with sympathy for her understanding of things. But I was just having a coffee, minding my own business like I always do. I don't see how I'm to blame for the situation apart from being their and being a man? |
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that. "
I was sat using my phone. Everyone is sat using their phone. Just doing my thing, not even aware of her pressence (she sat down after me I think). It's not my responsibility to worry about people coming later and misinterpreting my legitimate holding of my phone. That's ridiculous. |
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By *egardMan
over a year ago
Sittingbourne |
"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after
Oh, I don’t think she’s in the right here either. I personally think they should have both apologised to the other, because they both contributed to a messy and embarrassing situation, but sadly I don’t run the world.
I not entirely sure what I'm expected to apologise for. I did nothing wrong. I talked to her respectfully, calmly and with sympathy for her understanding of things. But I was just having a coffee, minding my own business like I always do. I don't see how I'm to blame for the situation apart from being their and being a man?"
I wonder if she complained to the staff at premises regarding the continual video recording that exists in almost everywhere. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after
Oh, I don’t think she’s in the right here either. I personally think they should have both apologised to the other, because they both contributed to a messy and embarrassing situation, but sadly I don’t run the world.
I not entirely sure what I'm expected to apologise for. I did nothing wrong. I talked to her respectfully, calmly and with sympathy for her understanding of things. But I was just having a coffee, minding my own business like I always do. I don't see how I'm to blame for the situation apart from being their and being a man?"
Some people are paranoid. You had nothing to apologise for but she did and should have.
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"I recently saw a report saying that Transport London Police are considering looking / starring at someone can be considered as a sexual assault.
I don’t know how they can police this.
We’ve all seen or experienced idiots who can’t read situations, it can be scary for anyone to be aggressively perused when you’re not interested.
To certain extent it happens on this site, a guy gets rejected and the become abusive.
They make up a minority.
They can fuck off!!!!!!!!
But for those males who respect women and their boundaries.
Over the years it seems like we’re losing the art of seduction.
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I think some of the causes of this decline are rooted within good movements to empower women.
Like the “The me to” which I support.
But it has never been a open conversation we’re both parties heal.
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts?"
I think getting cross about made up articles is ridiculous and cancel culture doesn’t exist except in the minds of bullshit news outlets. |
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By *eediousMan
over a year ago
Smallville |
"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I’d say no one is in the wrong. He’s free to hold his phone however he wants and he showed her the gallery. And she didn’t say sorry for the misunderstanding after?
If anything, she’s in the wrong. Not for asking, but for not apologising after
Oh, I don’t think she’s in the right here either. I personally think they should have both apologised to the other, because they both contributed to a messy and embarrassing situation, but sadly I don’t run the world.
I not entirely sure what I'm expected to apologise for. I did nothing wrong. I talked to her respectfully, calmly and with sympathy for her understanding of things. But I was just having a coffee, minding my own business like I always do. I don't see how I'm to blame for the situation apart from being their and being a man?
Some people are paranoid. You had nothing to apologise for but she did and should have.
"
Exactly!
My guy, you had nothing to apologise for as you did nothing wrong. You have every right to hold your phone at whatever angle you please. What she should have done was coming over in an adult manner, raising her concerns and sharing where her fears stemmed from, without proof and embarrassing you in public.
And she certainly didn't have any right to demand to see your pics. It's your privacy, FFS.
You are a better man than me, I tell ya. I would have told her where to go and let her know that she wasn't that special or interesting. Then if she wanted to call the police, she could do so. And to top it off, she didn't even apologise for the appalling treatment she gave you. And to think it was based on paranoia and insecurity. |
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By *eediousMan
over a year ago
Smallville |
"I recently saw a report saying that Transport London Police are considering looking / starring at someone can be considered as a sexual assault.
I don’t know how they can police this.
We’ve all seen or experienced idiots who can’t read situations, it can be scary for anyone to be aggressively perused when you’re not interested.
To certain extent it happens on this site, a guy gets rejected and the become abusive.
They make up a minority.
They can fuck off!!!!!!!!
But for those males who respect women and their boundaries.
Over the years it seems like we’re losing the art of seduction.
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I think some of the causes of this decline are rooted within good movements to empower women.
Like the “The me to” which I support.
But it has never been a open conversation we’re both parties heal.
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts?"
Man, I gotta say if I was a woman and that dick of yours (in your profile pic) approached me in a public scenario, I'd freak out too and think you were a creep! 
Hanging here like that with an attitude, damn. |
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"I had a lady come up to me the other day in a coffee shop and accuse me of taking photos of her for the last half hour. I was shocked and very upset. I explained I alway hold my phone at eye level when I'm on my phone. To be fair I was that wrapped up in what I was doing I wasn't even aware of her pressence a couple of tables way. It was an incredibly uncomfortable experience, especially in public.
She demanded to see my gallery. I was reluctant because one that's private and secondly I may have some private photos between me and My Girl on there (which probably wouldn’t of help). Anyway to defuse the situation which was massively embarrassing (especially because people assumed guilt until proven innocent in these kind of things) I showed her. She could see no, photos were taken.
Now it was an unfortunate situation, I get she wouldn’t have approached me if she didn't so. I get it's horrible to know there are creeps out there. I think women should speak up and stand up for themselves. But what really annoyed me is she was in the wrong and she was too argonaut to admit she was wrong and apologise. I was understanding of her situation and expressed that in my peaceful clam handling of the situation, but an apology I think would have been right and fair. It was a horrible and I was in actual sock afterwards. Took me some time to get over it. It actually affected me very deeply.
Anyway I guess my point is based on this experience the idea of such legislation seems very dangerous to me. Although I support what's being said and the principle the actual policing and potential errors this opens up is dangerous and open to abuse.
I’m sorry, you’re not in the right here. You were sat with your phone camera pointed directly at someone - a woman - for an extended period of time. That would make me feel really uncomfortable, too, regardless of whether pictures were taken or not. It’s an unfortunate misunderstanding, and now you know not to do that.
I was sat using my phone. Everyone is sat using their phone. Just doing my thing, not even aware of her pressence (she sat down after me I think). It's not my responsibility to worry about people coming later and misinterpreting my legitimate holding of my phone. That's ridiculous. "
Exactly this, she had no right to interrupt you while you were going about you business, and as for demanding to see your private phone! Her paranoia is her problem, she sounds like a disgusting entitled human being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Alot of men are creeps, you only gave to read some of the messages women recieve on here
If cancel culture can reduce that creepy behaviour then bring it on |
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By *y3942Man
over a year ago
hastings |
cancel culture doesn't exist? tell that to johnny depp? im pretty sure that the loss of roles in 2 of the most massive recent franchise's could fall under that heading.
and as anyone who's been watchin the trial recently can see, things seem more in his favour than hers. i don't know why the judge isn't concluding the trial. its turning into a circus with people laughing every few minutes from what should be a really serious crime if true. |
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"cancel culture doesn't exist? tell that to johnny depp? im pretty sure that the loss of roles in 2 of the most massive recent franchise's could fall under that heading.
and as anyone who's been watchin the trial recently can see, things seem more in his favour than hers. i don't know why the judge isn't concluding the trial. its turning into a circus with people laughing every few minutes from what should be a really serious crime if true."
Asking men not to stare at women on the underground isn't the same as what's going on between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. |
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By *y3942Man
over a year ago
hastings |
"cancel culture doesn't exist? tell that to johnny depp? im pretty sure that the loss of roles in 2 of the most massive recent franchise's could fall under that heading.
and as anyone who's been watchin the trial recently can see, things seem more in his favour than hers. i don't know why the judge isn't concluding the trial. its turning into a circus with people laughing every few minutes from what should be a really serious crime if true.
Asking men not to stare at women on the underground isn't the same as what's going on between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. "
very true. i was referring to Depp in relation to cancel culture.
there should be nothing wrong with a few seconds glance, but this freaky staring some guys do is simply wrong. but my concern is people lumping the 2. they are different and should be treated as such.
however to compound things more, i can fully understand how such action in enclosed areas with no means of escape can intimidate someone.
so would not the best thing to do be to look at the person for 2-3 seconds if you like them, then DON'T look at them again. if she happens to catch you looking at her, give her a genuine warm smile. then DON'T look at her again. if she's interested, she will approach you. if not, at least you wont make her more anxious by looking at her again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I recently saw a report saying that Transport London Police are considering looking / starring at someone can be considered as a sexual assault.
I don’t know how they can police this.
We’ve all seen or experienced idiots who can’t read situations, it can be scary for anyone to be aggressively perused when you’re not interested.
To certain extent it happens on this site, a guy gets rejected and the become abusive.
They make up a minority.
They can fuck off!!!!!!!!
But for those males who respect women and their boundaries.
Over the years it seems like we’re losing the art of seduction.
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I think some of the causes of this decline are rooted within good movements to empower women.
Like the “The me to” which I support.
But it has never been a open conversation we’re both parties heal.
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts?"
A lot of the historic art of seduction from different times may be considered creepy or unacceptable behaviour which needs to go/be improved to be appropriate. Staring at strangers in public is not seductive, its creepy AF. There is a marked difference between being creepy & being seductive. Approaching strangers you find attractive can be done without being creepy.
Is it really difficult to tell the difference? I appreciate there are elements of preference/marginal grey area, but often the reason for & consideration of the other person's feelings/ circumstances put into the behaviour, determines how appropriate it is.
|
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"cancel culture doesn't exist? tell that to johnny depp? im pretty sure that the loss of roles in 2 of the most massive recent franchise's could fall under that heading.
and as anyone who's been watchin the trial recently can see, things seem more in his favour than hers. i don't know why the judge isn't concluding the trial. its turning into a circus with people laughing every few minutes from what should be a really serious crime if true.
Asking men not to stare at women on the underground isn't the same as what's going on between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.
very true. i was referring to Depp in relation to cancel culture.
there should be nothing wrong with a few seconds glance, but this freaky staring some guys do is simply wrong. but my concern is people lumping the 2. they are different and should be treated as such.
however to compound things more, i can fully understand how such action in enclosed areas with no means of escape can intimidate someone.
so would not the best thing to do be to look at the person for 2-3 seconds if you like them, then DON'T look at them again. if she happens to catch you looking at her, give her a genuine warm smile. then DON'T look at her again. if she's interested, she will approach you. if not, at least you wont make her more anxious by looking at her again."
I think there are some men who are aware of how to act "normally" around women, some who are aware but just choose not to and some who really don't understand at all. It's the last two we need to put boundaries in place for. |
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By *y3942Man
over a year ago
hastings |
"
I think there are some men who are aware of how to act "normally" around women, some who are aware but just choose not to and some who really don't understand at all. It's the last two we need to put boundaries in place for. "
I think you need to split that last one in 2 at least:
3)some who don't understand but know they're being malicious.
4)some who don't understand but are actually respectful.
its like lots of people find me intimidating due to my size and "aura" but I am polite as hell from saying good morning to people to trying to protect women from stalkers. yes that happened. the local shopping center had a stalker targeting women, mainly young women, and I kept gathering evidence to have him banned. but the center management don't care about customer safety.
and another example. I used to think there was only one type of druggie. after working with them for years, I know now there are at least 5.
these aren't simple situations, they can be extremely complex.
end of the day, creepy guys just need to stop being creepy. creepy is not being awkward around others. its being maliciously creepy with detrimental intentions. |
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"
I think there are some men who are aware of how to act "normally" around women, some who are aware but just choose not to and some who really don't understand at all. It's the last two we need to put boundaries in place for.
I think you need to split that last one in 2 at least:
3)some who don't understand but know they're being malicious.
4)some who don't understand but are actually respectful.
its like lots of people find me intimidating due to my size and "aura" but I am polite as hell from saying good morning to people to trying to protect women from stalkers. yes that happened. the local shopping center had a stalker targeting women, mainly young women, and I kept gathering evidence to have him banned. but the center management don't care about customer safety.
and another example. I used to think there was only one type of druggie. after working with them for years, I know now there are at least 5.
these aren't simple situations, they can be extremely complex.
end of the day, creepy guys just need to stop being creepy. creepy is not being awkward around others. its being maliciously creepy with detrimental intentions."
I am talking in the context of behaviour towards women that is intimidating and threatening. Women aren't daft we know when a guy is just awkward. |
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By *y3942Man
over a year ago
hastings |
"I am talking in the context of behaviour towards women that is intimidating and threatening. Women aren't daft we know when a guy is just awkward."
yes i 100% agree with what you say. my concern is people trying to merge topics which we're seeing all over the place these days as the world is going mad.
but yes, you are correct. x |
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Many people, myself included, can be extremely verbally clumsy around people we find remotely attractive.
This can easily and often be miss-interpreted.
For this reason I find it more comfortable to chat online, where I have the time to (hopefully) phrase my approach appropriately.
I wouldn't dream of making any approach, eye contact, verbal, body language, to anyone I found attractive. The whole idea fills me with dread and horror.
How people have the charm and verbal elegance to make any sort of approach in the real world is beyond me.
Winston
|
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"
I think there are some men who are aware of how to act "normally" around women, some who are aware but just choose not to and some who really don't understand at all. It's the last two we need to put boundaries in place for.
I think you need to split that last one in 2 at least:
3)some who don't understand but know they're being malicious.
4)some who don't understand but are actually respectful.
its like lots of people find me intimidating due to my size and "aura" but I am polite as hell from saying good morning to people to trying to protect women from stalkers. yes that happened. the local shopping center had a stalker targeting women, mainly young women, and I kept gathering evidence to have him banned. but the center management don't care about customer safety.
and another example. I used to think there was only one type of druggie. after working with them for years, I know now there are at least 5.
these aren't simple situations, they can be extremely complex.
end of the day, creepy guys just need to stop being creepy. creepy is not being awkward around others. its being maliciously creepy with detrimental intentions.
I am talking in the context of behaviour towards women that is intimidating and threatening. Women aren't daft we know when a guy is just awkward."
Yes. An awkward guy backs off if he oversteps.
A creep doesn't. |
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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago
Durham |
"
I think there are some men who are aware of how to act "normally" around women, some who are aware but just choose not to and some who really don't understand at all. It's the last two we need to put boundaries in place for.
I think you need to split that last one in 2 at least:
3)some who don't understand but know they're being malicious.
4)some who don't understand but are actually respectful.
its like lots of people find me intimidating due to my size and "aura" but I am polite as hell from saying good morning to people to trying to protect women from stalkers. yes that happened. the local shopping center had a stalker targeting women, mainly young women, and I kept gathering evidence to have him banned. but the center management don't care about customer safety.
and another example. I used to think there was only one type of druggie. after working with them for years, I know now there are at least 5.
these aren't simple situations, they can be extremely complex.
end of the day, creepy guys just need to stop being creepy. creepy is not being awkward around others. its being maliciously creepy with detrimental intentions.
I am talking in the context of behaviour towards women that is intimidating and threatening. Women aren't daft we know when a guy is just awkward.
Yes. An awkward guy backs off if he oversteps.
A creep doesn't."
This. It feels a lot better when someone backs off or apologises when they make me feel uncomfortable, even when it was a total accident. It’s not just about what you do, it’s about how you handle things when they go wrong. |
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"I recently saw a report saying that Transport London Police are considering looking / starring at someone can be considered as a sexual assault.
I don’t know how they can police this.
We’ve all seen or experienced idiots who can’t read situations, it can be scary for anyone to be aggressively perused when you’re not interested.
To certain extent it happens on this site, a guy gets rejected and the become abusive.
They make up a minority.
They can fuck off!!!!!!!!
But for those males who respect women and their boundaries.
Over the years it seems like we’re losing the art of seduction.
It’s seems taboo to walk up to someone you see in a public scenario that isn’t club or bar without being labelled a creep.
I think some of the causes of this decline are rooted within good movements to empower women.
Like the “The me to” which I support.
But it has never been a open conversation we’re both parties heal.
It’s victim based and males as villains.
What are your thoughts?"
If you are the type of person that is worried about this kind of thing maybe you should ask yourself why? Maybe you are the problem? |
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