FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > advice on a few things...
advice on a few things...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, been on the site a while and never posted in the forum so please be gentle with me.
1. I've been having a few problems recently with people standing me up and I just wanted some advice & best practices. I always take a mobile number but never want to appear like a pest, try to limit my texts to a simple confirmation or enquiry if not arrived by agreed time. Anything else I should be doing?
2. I'm very sub curious and really have no idea how to explore this further, so again advice would be greatly appreciated.
3. How to deal with abusive messages? I received a few recently and I became so upset, its not nice getting insulted especially because of how you look. Anyway again advice appreciated.
I'm not new to this lifestyle, but I am finding it a lot harder to enjoy it at the moment.
Lou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone, been on the site a while and never posted in the forum so please be gentle with me.
1. I've been having a few problems recently with people standing me up and I just wanted some advice & best practices. I always take a mobile number but never want to appear like a pest, try to limit my texts to a simple confirmation or enquiry if not arrived by agreed time. Anything else I should be doing?
2. I'm very sub curious and really have no idea how to explore this further, so again advice would be greatly appreciated.
3. How to deal with abusive messages? I received a few recently and I became so upset, its not nice getting insulted especially because of how you look. Anyway again advice appreciated.
I'm not new to this lifestyle, but I am finding it a lot harder to enjoy it at the moment.
Lou x"
How to deal with abusive messages? I received a few recently and I became so upset, its not nice getting insulted especially because of how you look. Anyway again advice appreciated.
Just block and report abusive messages, just remember these people are just font on a screen until you meet them, nothing more, don't let it worry you, I still get upset by some nastiness sometimes, we women are emotional, but I soon move on, remember tho, there are some really decent people here too...good luck hun x |
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And if a meet has been arranged and they don't turn up and don't have the decency to try to get a message to you there is an option on the report function to report as a no show.
It's worth considering (btw haven't looked at your.profile and don't know what methods you use) arranging to meet in a public place for a brief first meet. As a single female safety should come first.
There are fakes, timewasters and genuine guys who use fake or out of date pics. This gives you a chance to screen without them knowing your address and also means you won't be knocking at the wrong door.
The big chain coffee shops are useful, busy, anonymous and easy to find. Pick one or two that are easy for you to get to and if your time is wasted you haven't gone far out of your way and have been dry and had a coffee while you waited!
Also consider a play phone. The major supermarkets sell pay as you go ones for between 10 and 20 quid and that way noone will accidentally answer you phone cos you were busy! And you can change the sim card and switch it off if anyone pesters you.
Good luck and enjoy. And remember, however you choose to do things is acceptable. If someone isn't prepared to do things your way then say a polite thanks for your time but I don't think we'd get on and move on to the next one - there always will be a next one!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it helps if you build up a bit of a rapport with those you would like to meet.
The ones who will wait till you are comfortable about meeting them are often the ones worth meeting, the rest rush onto the next available female on their list.
happy swinging and welcome to the forums. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have somebody messaging you, but they have no main pic or other pics.
Is there any other way to prove it's legit besides facebooks and other sites?
I understand they may not want to send a pic, I'm just being cautious though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you all for the advise...I think the meet for a coffee 1st is good as you say the worst that can happen then is that I drink coffee alone x"
I usually take a book with me and have a read while I'm sitting enjoying my coffee, in a university town like this it's the norm.  |
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"Thank you all for the advise...I think the meet for a coffee 1st is good as you say the worst that can happen then is that I drink coffee alone x
I usually take a book with me and have a read while I'm sitting enjoying my coffee, in a university town like this it's the norm. "
I always insist on a face pic available through the site so I know who to say hello to.
And.if they don't have one or want my email I just thank them and move on. I keep all contact on the site. I know I'm more cautious then most but I have had one unfortunate incident (not through here) that has made me that way.
But, when I can meet I meet a lot and have made some fantastic friends and great fuck buddies. And it's true, the genuine ones know.they have nothing to hide or lose by taking half an hour for a coffee and a chat.
Sometimes we don't even drink the coffee! So pick a coffee shop near some hotels...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it helps if you build up a bit of a rapport with those you would like to meet.
The ones who will wait till you are comfortable about meeting them are often the ones worth meeting, the rest rush onto the next available female on their list.
happy swinging and welcome to the forums. xxx"
definitely agree with you on this, i chatted to one for about 2mths before we met and he is a real gent...had the funniest chats too!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and the ones who ask do you have msn lets chat, go on cam, face-time?
......... don't.
They are already sitting with cock in hand waiting to wank off.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and the ones who ask do you have msn lets chat, go on cam, face-time?
......... don't.
They are already sitting with cock in hand waiting to wank off. "
ha ha yes! and never get back to you if you decline! |
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"Oh and the ones who ask do you have msn lets chat, go on cam, face-time?
......... don't.
They are already sitting with cock in hand waiting to wank off. "
Lol oh agree. Also avoid the ones that ask "what are you going to do to be then?" Telling them will have them shooting their load and they'll never meet as only interested in cyber. |
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if you want to explore your sub side safely my advice would be to get together with a couple who like to play this way...that way you will have the safety of another woman for a start ... have fun however you decide to proceed and always play safe !! |
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"if you want to explore your sub side safely my advice would be to get together with a couple who like to play this way...that way you will have the safety of another woman for a start ... have fun however you decide to proceed and always play safe !!"
Or consider a fetish night at your local club. You'll find people very welcoming and keen to support you and help you to avoid pitfalls and pratts!
Contact the club and ask if they can put you in touch with people who are involved in the fet nights so you won't be walking in without knowing anyone. |
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1: Make sure you talk to people and are confident they're genuine about meeting before arranging, maybe meet to talk or have a drink first to make sure you can learn more about them.
2: Maybe find someone who's dom curious so you can experiment together or try throwing yourself in at the deep end with someone more experienced.
3: Ignore them, anyone who goes around throwing insults on a site like this is probably pathetically insecure and not worth the attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and maybe have a back up friend who know what you are doing even if it is someone off fab to watch your back.
Kind of toughen up a bit sometimes can get a few of wankers on here but the majority are great.
Come in the forums a bit more we dont bite and just enjoy the social side without the hang up of sex. |
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"Oh and the ones who ask do you have msn lets chat, go on cam, face-time?
......... don't.
They are already sitting with cock in hand waiting to wank off. "
Sorry Hun not everyone has cock in hand. I would never fondle myself on a cam, to me that's sick. |
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Meet in a coffee shop so if the guy doesn't turn up you can enjoy coffee in a warm dry and safe place....block and report the nasty messages....and I tried to agree with soemone who already said all this but I couldn't get my message in under the quote so sorry for repeating their advice but it was good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't want to sound critical or judgmental, but it always surprises me when women come on here complaining about being stood up, or being messed about by some eejit.
Women are in the driving seat here, so they can dictate how the early period goes; chatting, face pic exchange, mobile chat etc.
It doesn't guarantee 100% success and evasion of the eejits, but it certainly goes a long way towards it. And if a guy isn't happy with spending time, days, weeks, months, then surely the lady is still spoilt for choice? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't want to sound critical or judgmental, but it always surprises me when women come on here complaining about being stood up, or being messed about by some eejit.
Women are in the driving seat here, so they can dictate how the early period goes; chatting, face pic exchange, mobile chat etc.
It doesn't guarantee 100% success and evasion of the eejits, but it certainly goes a long way towards it. And if a guy isn't happy with spending time, days, weeks, months, then surely the lady is still spoilt for choice?"
I do always insist on a face pic, I always exchange a few messages & build a rapport and 80% of the time I also exchange numbers, but still people mess you around. Maybe I should spend longer before arranging meets, but some of the best meets I've ever had have been very quick & spur of the moment.
I wasn't moaning, I was asking for advice, I'm not totally naïve but I've had a recent run of bad luck, hence my post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't want to sound critical or judgmental, but it always surprises me when women come on here complaining about being stood up, or being messed about by some eejit.
Women are in the driving seat here, so they can dictate how the early period goes; chatting, face pic exchange, mobile chat etc.
It doesn't guarantee 100% success and evasion of the eejits, but it certainly goes a long way towards it. And if a guy isn't happy with spending time, days, weeks, months, then surely the lady is still spoilt for choice?
I do always insist on a face pic, I always exchange a few messages & build a rapport and 80% of the time I also exchange numbers, but still people mess you around. Maybe I should spend longer before arranging meets, but some of the best meets I've ever had have been very quick & spur of the moment.
I wasn't moaning, I was asking for advice, I'm not totally naïve but I've had a recent run of bad luck, hence my post."
To be fair this is the nature of fabs a fair amount of time wasters I have learned that spontaneous meets tend to work better the longer you chat with someone the more likely it will fade out or something crops up and one or another cant make it. |
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By *azzasteMan
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
These noshows/timewasters/keyboard fantasists/whatever you want to call them irritate the hell out of me!! They make it so much more difficult for genuine single guys like myself who work hard for every meet and constantly find we are up against what these tw*ts (and no, it is not an "i" starred out) have done before!!
OK, rant over...... |
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