FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why cant people just say no not for us instead of dragging on a convo when no intention of meeting
Why cant people just say no not for us instead of dragging on a convo when no intention of meeting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have had quite a few now have met them once or for a social or been chatting for ages with them and they reply back saying they would like to meet again or meet us and then when try to arrange something just get ignored or excuses.
why can’t people just be honest and say not for us or nice to have met you but not our type. We won’t get offended as not everyone is going to get on with orbe attracted to everyone, and actually the ones who say that we have a lot of respect for as it saves a lot of back and forth etc.
Just don’t get it, I get trying to spare people feelings, but we are all adults here, if you get offended by someone saying they aren’t attracted to you then maybe you should look more at yourself and maybe question If your on the right type of website |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I think it depends. I've said I'd meet people again then time has passed, interest or taste have changed or eagerness has dulled. It could be something as simple as the distance to meet that means you've really got to plan. Then again it could be attitude where it's a trade off - people could have a personality that doesn't match much as the sex might, where you say you'd see them again in the heat of the moment, as it was great fun but sometimes a second meet spoils the first.
It's good to have repeat meets and build on them but I wouldn't think too much into people pulling out or saying one thing and doing another. |
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Also worth remembering a lot of people aren’t confrontational enough to just say it wasn’t for me sorry.
We’re pretty abrupt with what we like and don’t like but have ‘offended’ others by saying not for us thanks.
Often find when the fizzle wears out it’s usually because there’s no effort put in one side. No effort = no attraction. You wouldn’t want to bang everyone at a nightclub! You also may bang someone in a nightclub and never see them again. Sometimes the sex or the boundaries just aren’t what you’re looking for upon reflection after the event.
Also it’s not necessarily a reflection on you! Tastes and wants change. I would try not to take it personally x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh we don’t take it personal at all, would just make it a lot easier in general if people were more open and just said if someone wasn’t for them etc, and totally get people are busy but when you see people who say they want to meet asking for a meet on their status so message them and hear nothing, it is frustrating, would much rather people just say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a power thing. Just as much as we like being chased. We love to do the chase, especially when we have them on the hook. Then when we leave the conversation out of our own choice. We feel powerful.
People like that, generally, have been rejected a large number of times and love it when they feel like they have “control”.
That, or they’ve found someone else during the time you’re talking. |
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"It goes other way too, when have said no to someone / couple they continue to message + pester.
That's when end up just blocking. "
The amount of men who do this to us..if we have said no thankyou once its not going to change regardless of how many times you msg lol. |
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"Oh we don’t take it personal at all, would just make it a lot easier in general if people were more open and just said if someone wasn’t for them etc, and totally get people are busy but when you see people who say they want to meet asking for a meet on their status so message them and hear nothing, it is frustrating, would much rather people just say"
We feel pretty bad actually as we have been talking to a guy for about a month..he was very pleasant and sent face pics etc.. and we would have liked at some point to meet him, I have no idea why we didn't check out his bio as that's normally the first thing we do so it was strange but anyhoo we did the other night and turns out he is in a relationship which we don't get involved with so we had to then go amd msg him to say to him that we apologise that this wouldn't be taken any further and he was great about it..I couldn't imagine just ignoring his msgs then blocking him..just be adult about it and tell them so their is no misunderstanding. |
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"We have had quite a few now have met them once or for a social or been chatting for ages with them and they reply back saying they would like to meet again or meet us and then when try to arrange something just get ignored or excuses.
why can’t people just be honest and say not for us or nice to have met you but not our type. We won’t get offended as not everyone is going to get on with orbe attracted to everyone, and actually the ones who say that we have a lot of respect for as it saves a lot of back and forth etc.
Just don’t get it, I get trying to spare people feelings, but we are all adults here, if you get offended by someone saying they aren’t attracted to you then maybe you should look more at yourself and maybe question If your on the right type of website "
You’ve had almost as many meets in the 9 months you’ve been in Fab, as I have after 10 years. I’d say stick with what you’ve been doing so far, as it seems to be working for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because most often than not a polite "not for me thank you" can often lead to asking why not or abuse.
Unfortunately people who can't take no for an answer have ruined it for people on both sides of this argument |
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