FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Lack of response to messages.
Lack of response to messages.
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"OP, you put on a similar post about a month or so ago. Did you take any advice you were given? " Of course I did, I have been progressively updating my photos and trying to fine tune my profile bio. However, I’m still getting little interest from this site and I keep getting turned down or blanked…. Is my profile clearly lacking something or are my impressions on first contact really that bad? I guess I need to hit the gym and get myself a haircut before I make these ladies physically sick with my ugly facial features and lack of height. Really though… it seems that I’m just not cut out for this game. I used to regularly attend clubs from 2003 up to around 2017 but tired of being just another single male stunt cock and would like to have a bit more of a connection between potential play partners that just being another faceless male in a sea of desperate and horny men. | |||
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"As this is as the name suggests a swingers site maybe you should join a site predominantly just for sex Swinging is for more than 2 people having sex so with your profile stating wanting to meet females only this is a big stumbling block " Really, so it's just for couples then...?  | |||
"Your profile doesn’t appeal to me you have 2 photos neither which are great. Where are these photos you have been updating your profile with? " Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted to ask. Also, OP, I think the clubs have changed post Covid. Why don't you give it a try? Or look for organised socials in your area? | |||
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"I used to regularly attend clubs from 2003 up to around 2017 but tired of being just another single male stunt cock and would like to have a bit more of a connection between potential play partners that just being another faceless male in a sea of desperate and horny men." That has not been my experience of clubs at all. For me, clubs have been very social places, where real friendships can be made. With sex as a bonus. Is this a north/south cultural difference? I can't imagine what a club with no socialising would look like. Or is the difference in what you go to the club for? If you go for nothing but sex, maybe that's all you will see. Try going for no sex, and just enjoy meeting and chatting with a bunch of new people. | |||
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"Hi OP. Your thumbnail pic and the other pic on your profile don't appear to be the same person. Obviously I cant see the thumbnail clearly so maybe a few more pictures would help." I can assure you that the photos are of the same person! I always send a face and full (never nude) body photo with any message…. I also never send any dick pics. | |||
"Your profile says you are looking to arrange a social meet once it is safe to do so post Covid. That makes me think you aren't looking to meet at present. " Contrary to what the government might think, globally we are not covid free yet. | |||
"Your profile says you are looking to arrange a social meet once it is safe to do so post Covid. That makes me think you aren't looking to meet at present. Contrary to what the government might think, globally we are not covid free yet." What if we are never Covid-free? Are you never going to meet, OP? | |||
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" That has not been my experience of clubs at all. For me, clubs have been very social places, where real friendships can be made. With sex as a bonus. Is this a north/south cultural difference? I can't imagine what a club with no socialising would look like. Or is the difference in what you go to the club for? If you go for nothing but sex, maybe that's all you will see. Try going for no sex, and just enjoy meeting and chatting with a bunch of new people." I have often gone to clubs without the intention to play…. Sure if the opportunity comes up I will but it’s never my only meaning of being there. What I didn’t like was the constant one night only meetings…they become a bit too shallow. I would much rather have connections than one off fucks. | |||
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" That has not been my experience of clubs at all. For me, clubs have been very social places, where real friendships can be made. With sex as a bonus. Is this a north/south cultural difference? I can't imagine what a club with no socialising would look like. Or is the difference in what you go to the club for? If you go for nothing but sex, maybe that's all you will see. Try going for no sex, and just enjoy meeting and chatting with a bunch of new people. I have often gone to clubs without the intention to play…. Sure if the opportunity comes up I will but it’s never my only meaning of being there. What I didn’t like was the constant one night only meetings…they become a bit too shallow. I would much rather have connections than one off fucks." Then a regular dating site or groups is what you may need to alternatively consider as well if that’s what you truly want. You may not get that here, others may perhaps struggle to get this as well but never impossible. But seriously consider regular dating avenues… | |||
" That has not been my experience of clubs at all. For me, clubs have been very social places, where real friendships can be made. With sex as a bonus. Is this a north/south cultural difference? I can't imagine what a club with no socialising would look like. Or is the difference in what you go to the club for? If you go for nothing but sex, maybe that's all you will see. Try going for no sex, and just enjoy meeting and chatting with a bunch of new people. I have often gone to clubs without the intention to play…. Sure if the opportunity comes up I will but it’s never my only meaning of being there. What I didn’t like was the constant one night only meetings…they become a bit too shallow. I would much rather have connections than one off fucks." But connections are made at clubs. Like you, I've been doing this for many years and met and made many friends at clubs. Heck, we even played cards against humanity one night in Liberty Elite and nearly everybody there that night spoke to each other. We had a blast. | |||
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"Your profile says you are looking to arrange a social meet once it is safe to do so post Covid. That makes me think you aren't looking to meet at present. Contrary to what the government might think, globally we are not covid free yet. What if we are never Covid-free? Are you never going to meet, OP? " I don’t know, when are WE going to meet then?  | |||
"Your profile says you are looking to arrange a social meet once it is safe to do so post Covid. That makes me think you aren't looking to meet at present. Contrary to what the government might think, globally we are not covid free yet. What if we are never Covid-free? Are you never going to meet, OP? I don’t know, when are WE going to meet then? "When you turn bi/bi-curious? Lol. As that's who I am currently after. | |||
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"The part about wanting someone to be a pin up vintage style geek rockabilly etc was when I just opted out. That may be your ideal image for a long term relationship, but this is a Swinging site. " If people can state how they are seeking black guys or bbw’s only then why can’t I state the sorts of women that catch my attention and that I find myself attracted too? It seems that my honest guy approach is not what people want to read but then who really wants to read a profile that gives false claims of the graphic and details of how some men think they are the greatest lover on earth? | |||
" When you turn bi/bi-curious? Lol. As that's who I am currently after. " Sadly I don’t meet quite a few of your fairly strict requirements as outlined on your profile… I’m fall just outside of your stated criteria on points 3 and 6.  | |||
" When you turn bi/bi-curious? Lol. As that's who I am currently after. Sadly I don’t meet quite a few of your fairly strict requirements as outlined on your profile… I’m fall just outside of your stated criteria on points 3 and 6. "5'7 is not too bad, the distance- ok, a bit further than I'd like. Particularly with fuel costs being ridiculous. I don't really fulfil your requirements, either. I can be a bit geeky and can be a bit girly, but nowhere near pin-up girl or goth. Hope you'll find someone, it usually happens when you least expect it. | |||
" When you turn bi/bi-curious? Lol. As that's who I am currently after. Sadly I don’t meet quite a few of your fairly strict requirements as outlined on your profile… I’m fall just outside of your stated criteria on points 3 and 6.
5'7 is not too bad, the distance- ok, a bit further than I'd like. Particularly with fuel costs being ridiculous.
I don't really fulfil your requirements, either. I can be a bit geeky and can be a bit girly, but nowhere near pin-up girl or goth.
Hope you'll find someone, it usually happens when you least expect it. "I would send you a message but filters are blocking me out.  | |||
"This site is tough for men For every guy to get just 1 meet a year every woman on the site would need to do 3 meets a week, which lets face it isn't going to happen " That's not even close to correct sadly. It's much worse. 2 thirds of the site is single guys now with what's left being divided up between everyone else. For example, in 20 miles of us there are about 130 (verified) single female accounts that have been active in the last 48 hours. Meanwhile we have 350 (verified) single male accounts active within the last 2 hours. It's not just tough for the legit single guys, it's impossible on fab now. Clubs and socials are the inky way to go for them imo. | |||
"This site is tough for men For every guy to get just 1 meet a year every woman on the site would need to do 3 meets a week, which lets face it isn't going to happen That's not even close to correct sadly. It's much worse. 2 thirds of the site is single guys now with what's left being divided up between everyone else. For example, in 20 miles of us there are about 130 (verified) single female accounts that have been active in the last 48 hours. Meanwhile we have 350 (verified) single male accounts active within the last 2 hours. It's not just tough for the legit single guys, it's impossible on fab now. Clubs and socials are the inky way to go for them imo." Crikey. I’m off to Tesco’s to take a desperate selfie in the ready-meal aisle to update my PoF profile. It worked once before  | |||
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"Your profile says you are looking to arrange a social meet once it is safe to do so post Covid. That makes me think you aren't looking to meet at present. Contrary to what the government might think, globally we are not covid free yet." Covid will never be gone. If you're waiting for that then you'll not get far. Most people won't want to talk endlessly whilst you wait for covid to bog off. | |||
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"Just going from your profile. Photos need to be better. If you have a preference that's not an issue but if you are only willing to meet that vintage pin up type you'll have to wait for her to come along, there might not be many in your area that are interested in what you are. If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. To reasons I don't reply. Too far, don't accommodate, don't fancy them. " The photos are the best I can do with a self timer…. I didn’t feel that comfortable with posting any face pictures though! The preference is just by the women that turn my head…. I really like that alternative pin up look but of course I am hoping for more a shared interested than just a stylish dress sense. As for the drink and drugs, I’m not against people who do but I don’t indulge myself but I do like myself a cocktail or two! | |||
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"As this is as the name suggests a swingers site maybe you should join a site predominantly just for sex Swinging is for more than 2 people having sex so with your profile stating wanting to meet females only this is a big stumbling block Really, so it's just for couples then...? "This isn't true... I'm a single, looking for other singles. There will never be more than 2 people having sex in my bed! | |||
"Just going from your profile. Photos need to be better. If you have a preference that's not an issue but if you are only willing to meet that vintage pin up type you'll have to wait for her to come along, there might not be many in your area that are interested in what you are. If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. To reasons I don't reply. Too far, don't accommodate, don't fancy them. The photos are the best I can do with a self timer…. I didn’t feel that comfortable with posting any face pictures though! The preference is just by the women that turn my head…. I really like that alternative pin up look but of course I am hoping for more a shared interested than just a stylish dress sense. As for the drink and drugs, I’m not against people who do but I don’t indulge myself but I do like myself a cocktail or two! "You're being given advice but you seem to always be countering that advice with excuses and arguments. | |||
"When someone says "I have tasted most of the dishes on the sexual menu now" I always assume they haven't. The menu is so vast. " Exactly I’d never have the arrogance to claim that! | |||
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"Just going from your profile. Photos need to be better. If you have a preference that's not an issue but if you are only willing to meet that vintage pin up type you'll have to wait for her to come along, there might not be many in your area that are interested in what you are. If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. To reasons I don't reply. Too far, don't accommodate, don't fancy them. The photos are the best I can do with a self timer…. I didn’t feel that comfortable with posting any face pictures though! The preference is just by the women that turn my head…. I really like that alternative pin up look but of course I am hoping for more a shared interested than just a stylish dress sense. As for the drink and drugs, I’m not against people who do but I don’t indulge myself but I do like myself a cocktail or two!
You're being given advice but you seem to always be countering that advice with excuses and arguments. "My thoughts exactly. | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? " I asked him that earlier and he said both of those pictures are of him. | |||
" I’m feeling down with the site and how I seldom get any replies when I’ve spent the last two years sending messages out to ladies…. I’ve rewritten my profile and tried to refine it to the best I can but it still doesn’t be attracting much attention from the ladies. It seems that if I wanted to meet men then I’d have my pick but I have little to no interested in meeting men. I would like to meet women that I find myself attracted to and have a mutual attraction with….. and not just be another of them desperate guys that will just try to meet up with any women who will let them meet up but with the apparent lack of interest I’m getting I feel like It’s a lost cause even trying to bother with putting any more effort into sending endless messages that never get replied to." I know what you are saying here mate! I think every guy does who puts in that little bit more effort which they are forced to because of the rude and abusive guys on here, who just send ridiculous amount of messages to women, and just asking for a fuck or something along the lines like that! It's a joke for the rest of us guys. I have took a few tips from women on here, asking them what am I doing wrong and that? So I done what they told me to try, e.g. Like change my photos on here, change what I wrote in my profile, messaged more in my messages. Being so polite and friendly and well mannered, but nothing mate! No change whatsoever! So I can relate to what you are saying about this bud, to be honest I don't think anything will change or get better for any guy. So it's up to you what you want to keep trying? | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? I asked him that earlier and he said both of those pictures are of him." They’re clearly not! | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? I asked him that earlier and he said both of those pictures are of him. They’re clearly not! " We thought the same the avatar thumb picture looks like someone 25-35 top. The profile pictures however look like some aged in the 45 - 55 range. Yet your profile has your age at 40. Maybe the profile picture is old? Either way the number of posters picking up on this suggests it will be impacting the OPs message response rate. On a final note OP you have had some fantastic advise on this thread and previously but as someone else said you respond to 90% of it with excuses and arguments taking none of it on board. If your profile is a true reflection of you then don't change a thing. Good luck KJ | |||
" The photos are the best I can do with a self timer…" Unfortunately that is is not a wise statement to make. It sends out a warning signal that you probably can't even get a good friend to take a flattering picture of you interacting amicably with the photographer. That might not be true but it's how people are likely to interpret the situation. Time after time, women on here complain about bathroom mirror selfies and over the toilet personals. Those photos always say the same thing about a profile: Hasn't he got any friends to take pictures of him? Worse still, they imply that being on here is a guilty secret. It may not be the reality but people have to rely on clues. Send the right clues. Also, it's probably not a good idea to broadcast that you are peeved about the situation. Except on the 'Politics' forum! | |||
"As this is as the name suggests a swingers site maybe you should join a site predominantly just for sex Swinging is for more than 2 people having sex so with your profile stating wanting to meet females only this is a big stumbling block Really, so it's just for couples then...? "Yes, until a couple needs a unicorn or single man to join them  | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? I asked him that earlier and he said both of those pictures are of him." Just at different times? | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? The profile pictures however look like some aged in the 45 - 55 range. Yet your profile has your age at 40. Maybe the profile picture is old? as someone else said you respond to 90% of it with excuses and arguments taking none of it on board. " Exactly where have I made any excuses or arguments? The photos are all off myself, just the thumbnail one is a little older….. I look a bit younger with my clothes off! | |||
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"As this is as the name suggests a swingers site maybe you should join a site predominantly just for sex Swinging is for more than 2 people having sex so with your profile stating wanting to meet females only this is a big stumbling block Really, so it's just for couples then...?
Yes, until a couple needs a unicorn or single man to join them "Yeh good point, that's why I block all couples | |||
"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? The profile pictures however look like some aged in the 45 - 55 range. Yet your profile has your age at 40. Maybe the profile picture is old? as someone else said you respond to 90% of it with excuses and arguments taking none of it on board. Exactly where have I made any excuses or arguments? The photos are all off myself, just the thumbnail one is a little older….. I look a bit younger with my clothes off! "With respect, I think the general consensus is that you look younger in the profile pic… with your clothes ON | |||
"Hi OP. Your thumbnail pic and the other pic on your profile don't appear to be the same person. Obviously I cant see the thumbnail clearly so maybe a few more pictures would help. I can assure you that the photos are of the same person! I always send a face and full (never nude) body photo with any message…. I also never send any dick pics." OP I'm saying this in the nicest possible way but all your pics are of your midriff and is obv your sucking yourself in which doesn't portray who you really are...show yourself as you and don't try to pretend your something your not as women won't appreciate that..maybe some more thought out pics wouldn't go a miss but tbh fab has gone fairly quiet for most. When the other person mentioning that it's a swinger site and not a fuck site it was probably advice in your attitude to FAB..and that just because your on here doesn't make you a swinger, yes there are the select few maybe 100s actually that are single males who actually do swing with couples and more and have the veris to prove it so maybe try broadening your bio a little rather than just seek single females..Good luck. | |||
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"If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. As for the drink and drugs, I’m not against people who do but I don’t indulge myself but I do like myself a cocktail or two!
You're being given advice but you seem to always be countering that advice with excuses and arguments. "This is one example where you where are coming across dismissive to good advice. Really I see little point of the smoking & drink sentence along with others. It’s been mentioned multiple times that your profile is TOO long! You come across very wordsy, and perhaps this is a reflection of you but to improve chances people will actually bother spending time on your profile you need to be more succinct and less Wordsworth because too much fluff/padding in a statement will just bore. I.e this line please suggest you replace/remove “I’m a non smoker, but not that bothered about others smoking if considerately and haven’t bothered with drink or drugs in years.” Considerately??? What you think people are going to fan smoke directly into your face? Or blow rings??? I’d replace with something like this (or better yet get rid of it all). Will meet smokers, if not excessive users. | |||
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"Your thumbnail looks like a guy 20-30 your pics in gallery look 40-50? The profile pictures however look like some aged in the 45 - 55 range. Yet your profile has your age at 40. Maybe the profile picture is old? as someone else said you respond to 90% of it with excuses and arguments taking none of it on board. Exactly where have I made any excuses or arguments? The photos are all off myself, just the thumbnail one is a little older….. I look a bit younger with my clothes off!
With respect, I think the general consensus is that you look younger in the profile pic… with your clothes ON"I agree with this guys statement above with regards to clothing making you look younger. Heed the good advice. Now continuing with the clothed thumbnail profile pic, which I now see removed, I would go far as saying it is more than a little older… I doubted to believe it was same guy. “I expect honesty from people I play with. If you message me, I expect your profile to match your message.” This is what you wrote…. and one should adhere to the same standards. The pic thing was somewhat hypocritical. I would also suggest removing that entire sentence from profile too as I find it just fluff… | |||
"If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. As for the drink and drugs, I’m not against people who do but I don’t indulge myself but I do like myself a cocktail or two!
You're being given advice but you seem to always be countering that advice with excuses and arguments.
This is one example where you where are coming across dismissive to good advice.
Really I see little point of the smoking & drink sentence along with others.
It’s been mentioned multiple times that your profile is TOO long!
You come across very wordsy, and perhaps this is a reflection of you but to improve chances people will actually bother spending time on your profile you need to be more succinct and less Wordsworth because too much fluff/padding in a statement will just bore.
I.e this line please suggest you replace/remove
“I’m a non smoker, but not that bothered about others smoking if considerately and haven’t bothered with drink or drugs in years.”
Considerately??? What you think people are going to fan smoke directly into your face? Or blow rings???
I’d replace with something like this (or better yet get rid of it all).
Will meet smokers, if not excessive users.
"Exactly. I wouldn't even put it in. There's a tick box to your smoking, drinking and drug preference and about meeting smokers so it's unnecessary information. | |||
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"Hope you'll find someone, it usually happens when you least expect it. I would send you a message but filters are blocking me out. "She literally just said that she doesn't think you're a match. I would hope that you're reading profiles and only sending messages to those that are a match..... (Bry) | |||
"Hope you'll find someone, it usually happens when you least expect it. I would send you a message but filters are blocking me out.
She literally just said that she doesn't think you're a match. I would hope that you're reading profiles and only sending messages to those that are a match.....
(Bry)" | |||
"Hope you'll find someone, it usually happens when you least expect it. I would send you a message but filters are blocking me out.
She literally just said that she doesn't think you're a match. I would hope that you're reading profiles and only sending messages to those that are a match.....
(Bry)"And this is exactly the issue with so many people. They don't read the profile and then get sulky when the messages are deleted without reply. | |||
"This site is tough for men For every guy to get just 1 meet a year every woman on the site would need to do 3 meets a week, which lets face it isn't going to happen That's not even close to correct sadly. It's much worse. 2 thirds of the site is single guys now with what's left being divided up between everyone else. For example, in 20 miles of us there are about 130 (verified) single female accounts that have been active in the last 48 hours. Meanwhile we have 350 (verified) single male accounts active within the last 2 hours. It's not just tough for the legit single guys, it's impossible on fab now. Clubs and socials are the inky way to go for them imo." Nonsense! I would never recommend clubs for single guys, my recent visit to Club Play in Blackpool proving how unfriendly and non-inclusive they are. Fab has consistently worked very well for me | |||
"Nonsense! I would never recommend clubs for single guys, my recent visit to Club Play in Blackpool proving how unfriendly and non-inclusive they are. Fab has consistently worked very well for me " We went to VA on Wednesday afternoon. Very heavy on single guys (maybe thirty guys and six couples). We went to the bar and while waiting the guy next to us said hello. Turns out he was brand new to swinging, never done anything, first club visit, not even on Fab. He was nervous, but interested in us and how we ended up on the scene, and what happened. Long shot - he was a nice bloke who wasn't pushy and showed interest. And Char fucked him. For an hour. So it's not ALL bad for single guys at clubs. Not if you're nice and polite. (Bry) | |||
"Nonsense! I would never recommend clubs for single guys, my recent visit to Club Play in Blackpool proving how unfriendly and non-inclusive they are." We continue to have differing opinions. I don't know what we're doing different, but I've always found clubs to be friendly and inclusive places. I WOULD recommend them to single men. I've had great times, made some good friends, and even met my partner. I don't try meeting people on fab, because the club is enough for me. But previous experience on a different site suggests that this can work too, if you make the effort. I just find clubs easier. | |||
"Nice to see you've taken the pic away that clearly wasn't you and put a couple up that are. Best of luck." The truth is that photo WAS quite clearly me….. just one of the first photos uploaded when I first signed on to the site for a few years back… a CLOTHED photo of my full body….. more tasteful than putting up a profile photo of a penis I thought…. But no, it’s clearly not me! 
I would not be so shallow to post a photo of someone else on my profile. | |||
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"Maybe you could have a new clothed photo of yourself as a profile pic. You wouldn't even need to use a timer as you could ask a friend to take it for you" Exactly this. You could ask them up do a full length or upper body photo and crop your head out. I'd rather a grey box than an old photo. | |||
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"It doesn't take long to say no thanks or yes please. It is ignorant of people. There maybe could be an auto reply - no thanks/yes please button" Do you reply to every spam email that hits your inbox and every bit of junk mail that drops through your door? No. Didn't think so......
A | |||
"If you don't drink and take drugs don't mention it rather than say you haven't done it for a while. As for the drink and drugs……. Really I see little point of the smoking & drink sentence along with others. It’s been mentioned multiple times that your profile is TOO long! You come across very wordsy…,, I.e this line please suggest you replace/remove “I’m a non smoker, but not that bothered about others smoking if considerately and haven’t bothered with drink or drugs in years.” Considerately??? What you think people are going to fan smoke directly into your face? Or blow rings??? " In defense of the drink and drugs….. true I don’t drink booze like how some people never ago a week or even a day without a drink or smoke 20 plus fags a day being as 420 friendly as Snoop Dogg…….. but in the past I have been known to attend the odd rave or festival….. which means I’m not exactly going to be a hypocrite and pretend that I’ve never had a runny nose or reached for the lasers in a pair of white gloves! | |||
"It doesn't take long to say no thanks or yes please. It is ignorant of people. There maybe could be an auto reply - no thanks/yes please button" And if only people took the no as a no. It isn't ignorant of people to ignore a message from someone who clearly hasn't read their profile, who is relentless, who is too far away, etc. Believe me I've tried it. | |||
"Nonsense! I would never recommend clubs for single guys, my recent visit to Club Play in Blackpool proving how unfriendly and non-inclusive they are. We continue to have differing opinions. I don't know what we're doing different, but I've always found clubs to be friendly and inclusive places. I WOULD recommend them to single men. I've had great times, made some good friends, and even met my partner. I don't try meeting people on fab, because the club is enough for me. But previous experience on a different site suggests that this can work too, if you make the effort. I just find clubs easier." As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever | |||
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" I’m feeling down with the site and how I seldom get any replies when I’ve spent the last two years sending messages out to ladies…. I’ve rewritten my profile and tried to refine it to the best I can but it still doesn’t be attracting much attention from the ladies. It seems that if I wanted to meet men then I’d have my pick but I have little to no interested in meeting men. I would like to meet women that I find myself attracted to and have a mutual attraction with….. and not just be another of them desperate guys that will just try to meet up with any women who will let them meet up but with the apparent lack of interest I’m getting I feel like It’s a lost cause even trying to bother with putting any more effort into sending endless messages that never get replied to." To be fair, your photos are not flattering, get the light right, you don’t even need to do it naked!! I prefer some people in clothes first to develop that attraction. This site is for swinging, so sometimes a stunt cock is needed to be honest, that’s the way it is. Not sure meaningful sex is what this site is about, but you never know. Get some decent photos, stop whining and crack on in the clubs, get socialising and chatting f2f with people, people but people not cock all the time, but it might lead to some good cock time for you! Good luck | |||
" I’m feeling down with the site and how I seldom get any replies when I’ve spent the last two years sending messages out to ladies…. I’ve rewritten my profile and tried to refine it to the best I can but it still doesn’t be attracting much attention from the ladies. It seems that if I wanted to meet men then I’d have my pick but I have little to no interested in meeting men. I would like to meet women that I find myself attracted to and have a mutual attraction with….. and not just be another of them desperate guys that will just try to meet up with any women who will let them meet up but with the apparent lack of interest I’m getting I feel like It’s a lost cause even trying to bother with putting any more effort into sending endless messages that never get replied to. To be fair, your photos are not flattering, get the light right, you don’t even need to do it naked!! I prefer some people in clothes first to develop that attraction. This site is for swinging, so sometimes a stunt cock is needed to be honest, that’s the way it is. Not sure meaningful sex is what this site is about, but you never know. Get some decent photos, stop whining and crack on in the clubs, get socialising and chatting f2f with people, people but people not cock all the time, but it might lead to some good cock time for you! Good luck" Buy not but!  | |||
" I’m feeling down with the site and how I seldom get any replies when I’ve spent the last two years sending messages out to ladies…. I’ve rewritten my profile and tried to refine it to the best I can but it still doesn’t be attracting much attention from the ladies. It seems that if I wanted to meet men then I’d have my pick but I have little to no interested in meeting men. I would like to meet women that I find myself attracted to and have a mutual attraction with….. and not just be another of them desperate guys that will just try to meet up with any women who will let them meet up but with the apparent lack of interest I’m getting I feel like It’s a lost cause even trying to bother with putting any more effort into sending endless messages that never get replied to. To be fair, your photos are not flattering, get the light right, you don’t even need to do it naked!! I prefer some people in clothes first to develop that attraction. This site is for swinging, so sometimes a stunt cock is needed to be honest, that’s the way it is. Not sure meaningful sex is what this site is about, but you never know. Get some decent photos, stop whining and crack on in the clubs, get socialising and chatting f2f with people, people but people not cock all the time, but it might lead to some good cock time for you! Good luck Buy not but! "P.s a whinger is NOT attractive! | |||
"As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever "Then you're either going to the wrong clubs, the wrong nights or are just plain unlucky. I've been to many clubs as a single guy over the years and also as a couple who pretty much only ever met single guys. Couples not interested in single guys generally attend couples only nights. Most clubs have specific events designed just for them and also nights where single males are both wanted and in demand with couples and single women. As for 'as a guy by himself' comment? It's no different for anyone in a club, whether single male, couple or single female. You're no more limited than anyone else in how you can interact. Everyone has to put in the same effort and chat, be sociable, put themselves across well to attract interest and behave in a manner that will attract others rather than put off. It's honestly far easier to do that face to face than it ever will be online. Anyone can write a good message, post a well taken photo and portray themselves as a particular 'character' online. It's easy from behind a screen. The challenge is to do that in person. Only if you can be yourself and attract someone's interest in the real world will you ever succeed in the world of swinging/casual hook ups/random sex meets or whatever you choose to call it. Because no matter how good your online game is, if you can't replicate it in person you're wasting yours and everyone else's time. A | |||
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" ... In defense of the drink and drugs….. true I don’t drink booze like how some people never ago a week or even a day without a drink or smoke 20 plus fags a day being as 420 friendly as Snoop Dogg…….. but in the past I have been known to attend the odd rave or festival….. which means I’m not exactly going to be a hypocrite and pretend that I’ve never had a runny nose or reached for the lasers in a pair of white gloves! "Keep on digging that hole, even though everyone has advised you to drop the drugs reference. It's beginning to look like a brag which you are unwilling to leave out of the script. However, it is quite probably not going to impress more people than it warns off. | |||
"Nice to see you've taken the pic away that clearly wasn't you and put a couple up that are. Best of luck. The truth is that photo WAS quite clearly me….. just one of the first photos uploaded when I first signed on to the site for a few years back… a CLOTHED photo of my full body….. more tasteful than putting up a profile photo of a penis I thought…. But no, it’s clearly not me!
I would not be so shallow to post a photo of someone else on my profile. "It wasn't quite clearly you and many here have said the same thing. It may have been you in your slimmer years but to those who don't know you, it's clearly nothing like your current photos, therefore it's seen as lying and who mentioned a cock pic? Nobody. Men think cock pics are what all women want to see and will have them drooling after the owner. Men love cocks. You have also replied rejecting any notion that you could possibly alter or tweak your profile to make you more attractive, all you've done is defended what you've written. Go for it. If your profile reflects you then it tells me all I need to know. Best of luck. | |||
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"Like most people under 50 who have had a connection to the rave or counter culture scene, you would of at some point in your life come into contact with recreational drug use meaning you might of smoked cannabis, done a couple of ecstasy or sniffed up a couple of lines of cocaine off a whore’s arse. This is a fact of life but it doesn’t mean that just because you done a few doves at a Dreamscape rave in 1998 that you’ll be running off to the local pawn shop with your first meets flat screen television so you can sell it for crack rocks! What I’m saying that If you partake in recreational activities that’s fine but personally, I haven’t bothered with drink or drugs in years. " Why is it such a big deal to be telling everyone this? I find it very weird. | |||
"As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever
Then you're either going to the wrong clubs, the wrong nights or are just plain unlucky.
I've been to many clubs as a single guy over the years and also as a couple who pretty much only ever met single guys.
Couples not interested in single guys generally attend couples only nights. Most clubs have specific events designed just for them and also nights where single males are both wanted and in demand with couples and single women.
As for 'as a guy by himself' comment? It's no different for anyone in a club, whether single male, couple or single female. You're no more limited than anyone else in how you can interact. Everyone has to put in the same effort and chat, be sociable, put themselves across well to attract interest and behave in a manner that will attract others rather than put off.
It's honestly far easier to do that face to face than it ever will be online. Anyone can write a good message, post a well taken photo and portray themselves as a particular 'character' online. It's easy from behind a screen. The challenge is to do that in person. Only if you can be yourself and attract someone's interest in the real world will you ever succeed in the world of swinging/casual hook ups/random sex meets or whatever you choose to call it.
Because no matter how good your online game is, if you can't replicate it in person you're wasting yours and everyone else's time.
A"This is why we enjoy clubs as it’s much better face to face. Every club visit bar one we have found a single guy to do MFM with. We’d not chatted to them on fab beforehand and simply met that night. A x | |||
"Nice to see you've taken the pic It wasn't quite clearly you and many here have said the same thing…. it's clearly nothing like your current photos, therefore it's seen as lying. You have also replied rejecting any notion that you could possibly alter or tweak your profile to make you more attractive, all you've done is defended what you've written. Best of luck." I have been constantly editing and tweaking the bio….. like most people I tend to steer away from publicly posting face photos….. preferring to upload full body shots as I think they show more of what a person truly looks like. | |||
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"As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever
Then you're either going to the wrong clubs, the wrong nights or are just plain unlucky.
I've been to many clubs as a single guy over the years and also as a couple who pretty much only ever met single guys.
Couples not interested in single guys generally attend couples only nights. Most clubs have specific events designed just for them and also nights where single males are both wanted and in demand with couples and single women.
As for 'as a guy by himself' comment? It's no different for anyone in a club, whether single male, couple or single female. You're no more limited than anyone else in how you can interact. Everyone has to put in the same effort and chat, be sociable, put themselves across well to attract interest and behave in a manner that will attract others rather than put off.
It's honestly far easier to do that face to face than it ever will be online. Anyone can write a good message, post a well taken photo and portray themselves as a particular 'character' online. It's easy from behind a screen. The challenge is to do that in person. Only if you can be yourself and attract someone's interest in the real world will you ever succeed in the world of swinging/casual hook ups/random sex meets or whatever you choose to call it.
Because no matter how good your online game is, if you can't replicate it in person you're wasting yours and everyone else's time.
A"I don’t believe there’s such a thing as the ‘wrong’ clubs, as at the end of the day, every club is just bricks and mortar, fixtures and fittings. What makes a great experience/visit, is WHO is in when you are, so I would agree with you about going on the ‘wrong night’ and being ‘plain unlucky’
Being a solo guy means I am restricted as to when I’m ‘allowed’ to visit, so you can understand my frustrations at being chopped down by couples, on a night when single guys are expected to be in. I also avoid any bi events and bmfc-style events
I’ve not been to Xtasia (it’s too expensive for a one-off visit given my location), but I have been to 7 different clubs to a total of 16 visits. Always with an open mind, never with any expectations. I have had some good nights, seen some amazing sights, but overall…….like I said; I wouldn’t recommend the club scene to a mate | |||
"As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever
Then you're either going to the wrong clubs, the wrong nights or are just plain unlucky.
I've been to many clubs as a single guy over the years and also as a couple who pretty much only ever met single guys.
Couples not interested in single guys generally attend couples only nights. Most clubs have specific events designed just for them and also nights where single males are both wanted and in demand with couples and single women.
As for 'as a guy by himself' comment? It's no different for anyone in a club, whether single male, couple or single female. You're no more limited than anyone else in how you can interact. Everyone has to put in the same effort and chat, be sociable, put themselves across well to attract interest and behave in a manner that will attract others rather than put off.
It's honestly far easier to do that face to face than it ever will be online. Anyone can write a good message, post a well taken photo and portray themselves as a particular 'character' online. It's easy from behind a screen. The challenge is to do that in person. Only if you can be yourself and attract someone's interest in the real world will you ever succeed in the world of swinging/casual hook ups/random sex meets or whatever you choose to call it.
Because no matter how good your online game is, if you can't replicate it in person you're wasting yours and everyone else's time.
A
I don’t believe there’s such a thing as the ‘wrong’ clubs, as at the end of the day, every club is just bricks and mortar, fixtures and fittings. What makes a great experience/visit, is WHO is in when you are, so I would agree with you about going on the ‘wrong night’ and being ‘plain unlucky’
Being a solo guy means I am restricted as to when I’m ‘allowed’ to visit, so you can understand my frustrations at being chopped down by couples, on a night when single guys are expected to be in. I also avoid any bi events and bmfc-style events
I’ve not been to Xtasia (it’s too expensive for a one-off visit given my location), but I have been to 7 different clubs to a total of 16 visits. Always with an open mind, never with any expectations. I have had some good nights, seen some amazing sights, but overall…….like I said; I wouldn’t recommend the club scene to a mate "Trust me. There are definitely the 'wrong' clubs for single guys. Some don't limit in any way the number that will attend, which results in an unrealistic split between couples, single females and single males, which helps nobody. Sure - the couples and single women have a huge pool of single guys to potentially chat and play with, but the uneven mix also puts plenty off as there can be a sense of being pestered and harassed by men who are simply trying to stand out from the crowd and have their chance to interact. There are clubs that do zero screening, both for membership and entry, and who are just interested in getting numbers through the door and money in the till, rather than trying to ensure that those they are allowing onsite will behave in the right manner and are there for the right reasons. It's not hard to do a bit of homework and view someone's swinging profile on here or other sites, or insist on a pre-event phone call. If a club doesn't ask for membership before entry along with proof of ID then it shows how little concern they have for potential adverse behaviour by anyone - male or female. So just because you attend on a night when single guys are expected to be there it doesn't mean that you've picked the right club or night. Yes clubs are just bricks and mortar and it's much more about who is there when you are. But unless you've pre-arranged to meet someone at a club that's beyond your control and you won't know who is attending until you've paid your entry and walked through the door. You'll never know how many couples will be there. You'll never know how many other single guys will be there. You may get lucky and find that the venue is chock-a-block with couples looking for an MFM and single women looking to meet a guy, and that for some reason you're the only one attending that night. You also may buy a jackpot winning ticket for the Euromillions this week and have women falling at your feet forever more. The odds of either happening are slim to none. But I can guarantee that for the vast majority of single guys, the odds on them being successful in finding company to get jiggy with are much higher face to face in a club, regardless of how many other single guys are there, than fighting it out online with waaaaaay more guys in the same position as them, looking for the same thing, from the same people, from the comfort of their sofa. A | |||
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"Lower your expectations. This site is inundated with single guys. (And men pretending to be a couple.) I have a lady friend that I met on fab. She receives up to 500 messages a day. And they are repetitive and unoriginal. " Best advice for her is to block all incoming messages and send them out herself to those that interest her. Same advice I'd give to couples. But most won't. Because they like the attention and would miss it if their inbox numbers weren't as high, regardless of the quality of content. A | |||
"This site is tough for men For every guy to get just 1 meet a year every woman on the site would need to do 3 meets a week, which lets face it isn't going to happen so well said its mainley clubs for me now lottery odds are better! That's not even close to correct sadly. It's much worse. 2 thirds of the site is single guys now with what's left being divided up between everyone else. For example, in 20 miles of us there are about 130 (verified) single female accounts that have been active in the last 48 hours. Meanwhile we have 350 (verified) single male accounts active within the last 2 hours. It's not just tough for the legit single guys, it's impossible on fab now. Clubs and socials are the inky way to go for them imo." | |||
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"Lower your expectations. This site is inundated with single guys. (And men pretending to be a couple.) I have a lady friend that I met on fab. She receives up to 500 messages a day. And they are repetitive and unoriginal. Best advice for her is to block all incoming messages and send them out herself to those that interest her. Same advice I'd give to couples. But most won't. Because they like the attention and would miss it if their inbox numbers weren't as high, regardless of the quality of content. A" You are probably correct. Seeking validation. | |||
"As a guy by himself, in a place full of strangers, I am limited to what I can do to make myself appear friendly and approachable, other than hope to catch someone’s eye, return a smile, and introduce myself when I see an ‘opening’. The last time I went to Club f, they were holding a drag night party event, and I was one of only 4 solo males in, the place otherwise filled with couples. Those taking part in the event were dressed up, and having great fun in their groups, and the only couple in there not taking part I managed to chat with at the bar. The wife was keen to chat with me, the hubby far from it, so I took the hint and left them to it. If you find a nice couple like Char and Bry above, who are willing to chat with a solo guy, who makes the effort, then yes, visiting a club can be an enjoyable experience, and one to be repeated. My clubs experiences as a solo guy overall though, have been filled with snappy couples not interested in single guys, hosts who lose interest once you have paid your entry, and very few single ladies ever
Then you're either going to the wrong clubs, the wrong nights or are just plain unlucky.
I've been to many clubs as a single guy over the years and also as a couple who pretty much only ever met single guys.
Couples not interested in single guys generally attend couples only nights. Most clubs have specific events designed just for them and also nights where single males are both wanted and in demand with couples and single women.
As for 'as a guy by himself' comment? It's no different for anyone in a club, whether single male, couple or single female. You're no more limited than anyone else in how you can interact. Everyone has to put in the same effort and chat, be sociable, put themselves across well to attract interest and behave in a manner that will attract others rather than put off.
It's honestly far easier to do that face to face than it ever will be online. Anyone can write a good message, post a well taken photo and portray themselves as a particular 'character' online. It's easy from behind a screen. The challenge is to do that in person. Only if you can be yourself and attract someone's interest in the real world will you ever succeed in the world of swinging/casual hook ups/random sex meets or whatever you choose to call it.
Because no matter how good your online game is, if you can't replicate it in person you're wasting yours and everyone else's time.
A
I don’t believe there’s such a thing as the ‘wrong’ clubs, as at the end of the day, every club is just bricks and mortar, fixtures and fittings. What makes a great experience/visit, is WHO is in when you are, so I would agree with you about going on the ‘wrong night’ and being ‘plain unlucky’
Being a solo guy means I am restricted as to when I’m ‘allowed’ to visit, so you can understand my frustrations at being chopped down by couples, on a night when single guys are expected to be in. I also avoid any bi events and bmfc-style events
I’ve not been to Xtasia (it’s too expensive for a one-off visit given my location), but I have been to 7 different clubs to a total of 16 visits. Always with an open mind, never with any expectations. I have had some good nights, seen some amazing sights, but overall…….like I said; I wouldn’t recommend the club scene to a mate
Trust me. There are definitely the 'wrong' clubs for single guys.
Some don't limit in any way the number that will attend, which results in an unrealistic split between couples, single females and single males, which helps nobody. Sure - the couples and single women have a huge pool of single guys to potentially chat and play with, but the uneven mix also puts plenty off as there can be a sense of being pestered and harassed by men who are simply trying to stand out from the crowd and have their chance to interact.
There are clubs that do zero screening, both for membership and entry, and who are just interested in getting numbers through the door and money in the till, rather than trying to ensure that those they are allowing onsite will behave in the right manner and are there for the right reasons. It's not hard to do a bit of homework and view someone's swinging profile on here or other sites, or insist on a pre-event phone call. If a club doesn't ask for membership before entry along with proof of ID then it shows how little concern they have for potential adverse behaviour by anyone - male or female.
So just because you attend on a night when single guys are expected to be there it doesn't mean that you've picked the right club or night.
Yes clubs are just bricks and mortar and it's much more about who is there when you are. But unless you've pre-arranged to meet someone at a club that's beyond your control and you won't know who is attending until you've paid your entry and walked through the door. You'll never know how many couples will be there. You'll never know how many other single guys will be there.
You may get lucky and find that the venue is chock-a-block with couples looking for an MFM and single women looking to meet a guy, and that for some reason you're the only one attending that night.
You also may buy a jackpot winning ticket for the Euromillions this week and have women falling at your feet forever more.
The odds of either happening are slim to none. But I can guarantee that for the vast majority of single guys, the odds on them being successful in finding company to get jiggy with are much higher face to face in a club, regardless of how many other single guys are there, than fighting it out online with waaaaaay more guys in the same position as them, looking for the same thing, from the same people, from the comfort of their sofa.
A"Well, I’ve had waaaaaay more success meeting genuine people for actual fun face to face using Fab over the years, than visiting clubs, and continue to do so! I have no plans to go to any others, but if I am stuck for a way to fill an evening, and the coin lands on tails, I’ll let you know how I get on! | |||
"Tbh for 40 you are not in great shape or looking like a good catch. Maybe a regular dating site would work better for you That's harsh and unfair. People have different types. " I assumed he wanted honesty and something he could take action on. It’s not harsh or unfair it’s accurate and he can fix it if it’s that important to him to catch women on here , or go on sites where the women are less fussy | |||
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"Tbh for 40 you are not in great shape or looking like a good catch. Maybe a regular dating site would work better for you That's harsh and unfair. People have different types. I assumed he wanted honesty and something he could take action on. It’s not harsh or unfair it’s accurate and he can fix it if it’s that important to him to catch women on here , or go on sites where the women are less fussy " It's not accurate. He might not be your taste physically but that's not to say he won't be the next person's. I personally steer clear of ripped/slim/gym bods because that's not what I find attractive. I'd much rather someone with op body type. You can't make a statement like that on behalf of all women on the site. | |||
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"Tbh for 40 you are not in great shape or looking like a good catch. Maybe a regular dating site would work better for you " That’s totally out of line! | |||
"Really, so it's just for couples then...?
Yes, until a couple needs a unicorn or single man to join them
Yeh good point, that's why I block all couples "Me too | |||
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" I’m feeling down with the site and how I seldom get any replies when I’ve spent the last two years sending messages out to ladies…. I’ve rewritten my profile and tried to refine it to the best I can but it still doesn’t be attracting much attention from the ladies. It seems that if I wanted to meet men then I’d have my pick but I have little to no interested in meeting men. I would like to meet women that I find myself attracted to and have a mutual attraction with….. and not just be another of them desperate guys that will just try to meet up with any women who will let them meet up but with the apparent lack of interest I’m getting I feel like It’s a lost cause even trying to bother with putting any more effort into sending endless messages that never get replied to." This is the 3rd post you've started along the same lines. Have some time away from FAB and see if you actually want to come back, or if you want to try something different. | |||
"As this is as the name suggests a swingers site maybe you should join a site predominantly just for sex Swinging is for more than 2 people having sex so with your profile stating wanting to meet females only this is a big stumbling block Really, so it's just for couples then...? "That's not really what they're saying though, is it?. Single ladies here are the minority by far, looking only for a single lady will minimise chances. | |||
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" We went to VA on Wednesday afternoon. Very heavy on single guys (maybe thirty guys and six couples). We went to the bar and while waiting the guy next to us said hello. Turns out he was brand new to swinging, never done anything, first club visit, not even on Fab. He was nervous, but interested in us and how we ended up on the scene, and what happened. Long shot - he was a nice bloke who wasn't pushy and showed interest. And Char fucked him. For an hour. So it's not ALL bad for single guys at clubs. Not if you're nice and polite. (Bry)" I did used to do quite reasonably well as a single male with club visits, with many a time having numerous invites with couples and ladies in a night… however after a while the anonymous play became a bit shallow…. I really much prefer making conversation and having the chance of repeat play that just being another random one off. | |||
" We went to VA on Wednesday afternoon. Very heavy on single guys (maybe thirty guys and six couples). We went to the bar and while waiting the guy next to us said hello. Turns out he was brand new to swinging, never done anything, first club visit, not even on Fab. He was nervous, but interested in us and how we ended up on the scene, and what happened. Long shot - he was a nice bloke who wasn't pushy and showed interest. And Char fucked him. For an hour. So it's not ALL bad for single guys at clubs. Not if you're nice and polite. (Bry) I did used to do quite reasonably well as a single male with club visits, with many a time having numerous invites with couples and ladies in a night… however after a while the anonymous play became a bit shallow…. I really much prefer making conversation and having the chance of repeat play that just being another random one off." Looks like clubs are the best thing to do then | |||
"Tbh for 40 you are not in great shape or looking like a good catch. Maybe a regular dating site would work better for you That’s totally out of line! " Can't see who said but not cool  | |||
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"Hi OP As someone you messaged 3 months ago there would of been 2 reasons primarily I'd would of responded to you with. 1, are you only looking for 1 woman, as I'm not looking for a relationship. 2, what clubs do you go to as my profile says I only meet at clubs. So if as you say you read profiles it would help you eliminate people like me and save time messaging me?" We have met before a while back at a club in Slough….. maybe I was hoping that you might of recognised me? | |||
"Hi OP As someone you messaged 3 months ago there would of been 2 reasons primarily I'd would of responded to you with. 1, are you only looking for 1 woman, as I'm not looking for a relationship. 2, what clubs do you go to as my profile says I only meet at clubs. So if as you say you read profiles it would help you eliminate people like me and save time messaging me? We have met before a while back at a club in Slough….. maybe I was hoping that you might of recognised me?" Sorry no that was over 5 years ago, and you were dressed in a particular way that night that us completely different to your pics x | |||
" Sorry no that was over 5 years ago, and you were dressed in a particular way that night that us completely different to your pics x" I seem to remember that club being a spa…. I would of been wearing not much more than towel! | |||
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"Taken on the advice and re-edited my profile….hopefully it’s a bit better now." I would say it’s better, but I think Fabswingers.com is not the right site for you. A dating site would be better as you seem to want to find more than a one off hook up. Try them, see how that goes! You’re clearly a good listener with your adjustments. Good luck with it all. | |||
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"Go to the pub...the country is full of single woman , divorcees.. " Hollow laugh here from someone who has never ever pulled in the pub or even noticed any likely candidates. Far more chance at the swimming baths (note, not the gym.. they are fare too up themselves in there). | |||
"A dating site would be better as you seem to want to find more than a one off hook up." Not true, many people meet and form relationships on here. | |||
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"Taken on the advice and re-edited my profile….hopefully it’s a bit better now. I would say it’s better, but I think Fabswingers.com is not the right site for you. A dating site would be better as you seem to want to find more than a one off hook up. Try them, see how that goes! You’re clearly a good listener with your adjustments. Good luck with it all." Well, maybe I’ll use my heavily edited bio for vanilla dating site’s as well…. Although I’ve had vanilla relationships which have been good but I don’t find they satisfy my sexual needs and I keep finding myself back on the swinging sites. | |||
"Go to the pub...the country is full of single woman , divorcees.. Hollow laugh here from someone who has never ever pulled in the pub or even noticed any likely candidates. Far more chance at the swimming baths (note, not the gym.. they are fare too up themselves in there)." Go to Birmingham...dress up descent, and if you manage to spend the evening without a tipsy Brummie lady chatting to you i would be surprised.... | |||
"Go to the pub...the country is full of single woman , divorcees.. Hollow laugh here from someone who has never ever pulled in the pub or even noticed any likely candidates. Far more chance at the swimming baths (note, not the gym.. they are fare too up themselves in there). Go to Birmingham...dress up descent, and if you manage to spend the evening without a tipsy Brummie lady chatting to you i would be surprised.... "I can confirm; the area around Broad Street is particularly good for this | |||
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"Sure my photos aren’t studio quality shots but nor are they photo of my anatomy taken over a toilet bowl with a deodorant can measuring device…nor have I posted photos of past conquests without someone’s knowledge. I generally post a set of photos that reflect my good natured and light hearted personality…. If being real to one’s self isn’t how to attract people than maybe my twenty years history of the swinging scene has been worthless as it seems that no mater how many profiles I might look as it seems that any messages sent are destined to end in a futile struggle of complete disappointment. Looks like it’s time to head back to the drawing board and re-evaluate how best to tailor my page to attract decent attention …. After all it’s very clear that by putting the effort in on here is clearly not going to lead to any successful meetings with like minded people, "Your original and now deleted comment was a great reflection of your true self, and probably an indication of the reason you don't get meets | |||
"Taken on the advice and re-edited my profile….hopefully it’s a bit better now. I would say it’s better, but I think Fabswingers.com is not the right site for you. A dating site would be better as you seem to want to find more than a one off hook up. Try them, see how that goes! You’re clearly a good listener with your adjustments. Good luck with it all. Well, maybe I’ll use my heavily edited bio for vanilla dating site’s as well…. Although I’ve had vanilla relationships which have been good but I don’t find they satisfy my sexual needs and I keep finding myself back on the swinging sites." I think you need to go to clubs and meet people, the pond is just too big. F 2 F will help put over personality not just from a bio. Lots of people have socials in bars arranged, maybe that would be good? You have very specific wants from a lady, maybe be a little more open initially. Good luck again, hope you find what you are looking for. | |||
"Sure my photos aren’t studio quality shots but nor are they photo of my anatomy taken over a toilet bowl with a deodorant can measuring device…nor have I posted photos of past conquests without someone’s knowledge. I generally post a set of photos that reflect my good natured and light hearted personality…. If being real to one’s self isn’t how to attract people than maybe my twenty years history of the swinging scene has been worthless as it seems that no mater how many profiles I might look as it seems that any messages sent are destined to end in a futile struggle of complete disappointment. Looks like it’s time to head back to the drawing board and re-evaluate how best to tailor my page to attract decent attention …. After all it’s very clear that by putting the effort in on here is clearly not going to lead to any successful meetings with like minded people, "Based on your profile, posts and responses, it's hard to believe you've had 20 years swinging experience. | |||
" Based on your profile, posts and responses, it's hard to believe you've had 20 years swinging experience. " I first visited a swingers club in Walthamstow back in December 2003 and semi regularly attended clubs up until 2017. Maybe I’m not the best at using my words to sell myself but I definitely have the experience that makes me very comfortable with most play scenarios. | |||
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" Based on your profile, posts and responses, it's hard to believe you've had 20 years swinging experience. I first visited a swingers club in Walthamstow back in December 2003 and semi regularly attended clubs up until 2017. Maybe I’m not the best at using my words to sell myself but I definitely have the experience that makes me very comfortable with most play scenarios." And you're looking to meet a woman, 1-2-1. Not a couple or a group, not a threesome. You're not offering a kink or scenario. You're not offering costumes or fetish play. Everything you've written says you want to date. BUT, you're in a group on here with the most competition,and the smallest target audience. Check any of the male profiles with lots of veris and you'll see they don't moan, they don't whine. They have clear profiles, good pics and they meet socially or at clubs. And usually, they offer something that single women don't find on t#nder, P#F, h#nge or bu#bl. If you want to meet more, either learn and adapt or find a different pond to fish in. | |||
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"Your profile doesn't mention wining or dining. It says you are "willing to plan a social meet in a mutually convenient location" " This is part of the issue OP. What do you want, is it clear? What do you offer, is it clear? Are you looking in the right place, are there people here that match your wants and offers? | |||
" I first visited a swingers club in Walthamstow back in December 2003 and semi regularly attended clubs up until 2017. " Raquel's? | |||
" I first visited a swingers club in Walthamstow back in December 2003 and semi regularly attended clubs up until 2017. Raquel's?" Yes, Club Raquel’s next to St James street Station… I’ve noticed that it’s now a Tesco Express supermarket….. if them walls could only talk! | |||
" I first visited a swingers club in Walthamstow back in December 2003 and semi regularly attended clubs up until 2017. Raquel's? Yes, Club Raquel’s next to St James street Station… I’ve noticed that it’s now a Tesco Express supermarket….. if them walls could only talk! "Whem we lived in Leyton stone, and later Stratford, we used to go there 3 or 4 times a week | |||
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"Mate, The kind of replies you’re giving here highlight a major issue. You need to just relax and enjoy becoming part of a community. Don’t get all defensive and confrontational when people are genuinely trying to help. There’s a way to ask a question or discuss a subject without any defensiveness. " I really didn’t feel that I had been getting confrontational at all, but I guess people are able to read things in their own interpretation…. Sadly this is big downside of sending messages. I have been taking on board all the points and my profile has been constantly getting rewritten to where I now think it reads quite well. | |||
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"Mate, The kind of replies you’re giving here highlight a major issue. You need to just relax and enjoy becoming part of a community. Don’t get all defensive and confrontational when people are genuinely trying to help. There’s a way to ask a question or discuss a subject without any defensiveness. I really didn’t feel that I had been getting confrontational at all, but I guess people are able to read things in their own interpretation…. Sadly this is big downside of sending messages. I have been taking on board all the points and my profile has been constantly getting rewritten to where I now think it reads quite well. " To be fair, it's not a bad profile, a very long way from the worst I've seen. You'll never please everyone, phrases like "hit me up" grate on me, but I'm of a different generation and not down wiv da kids.
Last two paragraphs I'd change or omit, other than that, good work I'd say.
I've not looked at your pics, just the biog.
Winston | |||
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