FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > SERIOUS QUESTION: Are there any Male Domination course
SERIOUS QUESTION: Are there any Male Domination course
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"Nice guys make good dominants. There's an inherent requirement for consideration, good communication, empathy and a considerable duty of care. Don't fall at the first hurdle by thinking being a dom=being nasty." Absolutely agree I met a great guy who tied me up and some light spanking/ whipping. Very friendly put me at my ease and could turn off the dominance if or when required. See it as an acting job, playing a part but always remember it’s not sexual for everyone. Ensure you know what the sub wants from the experience. | |||
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"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. " As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated." I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal" This is some pick-up artist, incel understanding of what dominance is. This is the kind of shit you want to avoid OP. Performative nonsense. | |||
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"I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal" 'natural dominance' isn't a thing, being able to take control of a situation, a scene or a relationship is a skill that is learnt like any other skill. And don't ever dismiss nerds, some of the best SM players I know are nerds, one of the reasons being they want to be the best, they want to excel so they study, practice and learn all they can. | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal This is some pick-up artist, incel understanding of what dominance is. This is the kind of shit you want to avoid OP. Performative nonsense." Let the OP read the comments and make his own mind up what he wants to and how he wishes to move forward. There’s no need for a debate on what a real Dom is, and there’s no need for insults like that on a forum……..oh ok , Especially from an unverified teenager who lives at home with his mum  | |||
"Nice guys make good dominants. There's an inherent requirement for consideration, good communication, empathy and a considerable duty of care. Don't fall at the first hurdle by thinking being a dom=being nasty." I think this is so right! A Dom should care deeply about his sub, his role is to satisfy the subs need for pain, domination and pleasure above his own (in my mind) After all, by their submission, it is actually the sub who is really in control! Markx | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal This is some pick-up artist, incel understanding of what dominance is. This is the kind of shit you want to avoid OP. Performative nonsense. Let the OP read the comments and make his own mind up what he wants to and how he wishes to move forward. There’s no need for a debate on what a real Dom is, and there’s no need for insults like that on a forum……..oh ok , Especially from an unverified teenager who lives at home with his mum "I'm just sharing my opinion because the OP openly asked for people's opinions. You quoted my opinion and I responded. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bothered with engaging whatever opinion you shared. Because I don't really care. I disagreed with your opinion and your opinion alone. Never made it personal. If you want to do that, go ahead, I really could care less what you think of me. | |||
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"Nice guys make good dominants. There's an inherent requirement for consideration, good communication, empathy and a considerable duty of care. Don't fall at the first hurdle by thinking being a dom=being nasty." | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal" I'm a little bemused at the last sentence. What is the relevance of choosing makeup, clothes etc for a woman? Many Doms don't seek to have that level of control and I don't know anyone who would describe that as core to D/s. | |||
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"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal I'm a little bemused at the last sentence. What is the relevance of choosing makeup, clothes etc for a woman? Many Doms don't seek to have that level of control and I don't know anyone who would describe that as core to D/s." May be it is a special baby sitting kink  .
Joking aside, if you are in a live-in, lifestyle Ds, this is one of the extremes you could take to. So, the post is niche, but not unheard of | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal I'm a little bemused at the last sentence. What is the relevance of choosing makeup, clothes etc for a woman? Many Doms don't seek to have that level of control and I don't know anyone who would describe that as core to D/s. May be it is a special baby sitting kink .
Joking aside, if you are in a live-in, lifestyle Ds, this is one of the extremes you could take to. So, the post is niche, but not unheard of "Yeah it's TPE in my opinion if the control is that level and that's the minority of D/s relationships and not what the OP is asking about. He's interested in role play, not 24/7 living the lifestyle. | |||
"Nice guys make good dominants. There's an inherent requirement for consideration, good communication, empathy and a considerable duty of care. Don't fall at the first hurdle by thinking being a dom=being nasty." | |||
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"So. Dominance starts with your self control. I need to know that whoever’s topping me believes in themselves and can hold it together to create an environment that is safe for me to let go in. Then you need to be a people nerd. Get inside people’s heads and understand them. Is that a good noise or a bad noise they’re making? Get a decent understanding of how adrenaline works on the body. First aid is helpful too. Then. There are four main types of dom. sadists, bossy bastards, daddy doms and pleasure givers. There’s often overlap too. You don’t have to do anything that challenges your view of yourself to be Dominant. You just have to be someone who accepts the control someone else has given to them." Bossy bastards | |||
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"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. My problem is I’m too much of a nice guy so it’s mental switch which I’m struggling with. I am prepared to pay or even buddy up with someone. I’m looking to be trained in the art of Male Domination. If some can help or point me in the right direct then it would be very much appreciated. As a dominant guy who is also nice and caring inside and outside of the bedroom, I'm just gonna say this isn't something you can teach. Its either in you, or it isn't. All that can come in persuing this is some kind of BS toxic masculinity crash course from a true asshole who has deluded himself into thinking he is some kind of "alpha". Just be yourself and enjoy sex. Be natural and if its in you, it will come out. If it isn't, it won't. It's not that complicated. I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal I'm a little bemused at the last sentence. What is the relevance of choosing makeup, clothes etc for a woman? Many Doms don't seek to have that level of control and I don't know anyone who would describe that as core to D/s. May be it is a special baby sitting kink .
Joking aside, if you are in a live-in, lifestyle Ds, this is one of the extremes you could take to. So, the post is niche, but not unheard of "Um, , no. I’ll often ask vanilla swinging partners to choose my lingerie for me. It’s a way of getting my submissive itch scratched in a very low stress manner. Same with people who order for me - or even place the order for me. These are little ways of showing respect for a partner who is a lifestyle submissive, even if they’re not your sub, and making them feel seen. Helping someone into their coat is something a friend of mine does a lot, and it comes across as caring and protective, not bossy. | |||
"I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal 'natural dominance' isn't a thing, being able to take control of a situation, a scene or a relationship is a skill that is learnt like any other skill. And don't ever dismiss nerds, some of the best SM players I know are nerds, one of the reasons being they want to be the best, they want to excel so they study, practice and learn all they can. " We have to stop agreeing. Why does the military have officer training, and businesses have manager training. There are skills that can be learned to control a situation. However, it starts with having the desire to control a situation. Dominance can be light touch on the tiller to micro management depending on the relationship. This is because every sub, every relationship, and every scene is different. A one size fits all dominance only works in movies and books. The dominance has to be right for the submissive, and the submission has to be right for the Dom. My own view is that any dominant who does not question their desires and assumes control as a right is potentially dangerous. However, some submissives respond to that stereotypical James Bond type of dominance, so it's horses for courses. I would recommend two books. The first is Anton Fulmen's The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Consensual Dominance. This is on Kindle and I found it helpful when I started. The second is Dominik McMaster's Domly Dom Manual, it is hard copy only. I read it last year, it is a fun read and comprehensive. Good Luck | |||
"I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal 'natural dominance' isn't a thing, being able to take control of a situation, a scene or a relationship is a skill that is learnt like any other skill. And don't ever dismiss nerds, some of the best SM players I know are nerds, one of the reasons being they want to be the best, they want to excel so they study, practice and learn all they can. We have to stop agreeing. Why does the military have officer training, and businesses have manager training. There are skills that can be learned to control a situation. However, it starts with having the desire to control a situation. Dominance can be light touch on the tiller to micro management depending on the relationship. This is because every sub, every relationship, and every scene is different. A one size fits all dominance only works in movies and books. The dominance has to be right for the submissive, and the submission has to be right for the Dom. My own view is that any dominant who does not question their desires and assumes control as a right is potentially dangerous. However, some submissives respond to that stereotypical James Bond type of dominance, so it's horses for courses. I would recommend two books. The first is Anton Fulmen's The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Consensual Dominance. This is on Kindle and I found it helpful when I started. The second is Dominik McMaster's Domly Dom Manual, it is hard copy only. I read it last year, it is a fun read and comprehensive. Good Luck" I don't much like the phrase "natural dominant" because it's often used by those who don't have any insight into themselves or D/s. But I definitely agree with you that a dominant needs to start with that need for control. Otherwise why does one want to be a dominant? Because their partner asked them to be, because they think they will get more sex? That's not genuine. | |||
"Yes I know this may sound stupid or even odd but I want to get into Male Domination. " Why? | |||
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"I think the opposite, they will become at best an unassertive nice guy trying to replicate some characteristics of natural dominance really badly. This is what I’ve seen at munches , nerdy, insecure, clueless, awkward around women, , they are not dominant ,they wouldn’t have a clue how to choose a woman’s make up , clothes; underwear , order her meal 'natural dominance' isn't a thing, being able to take control of a situation, a scene or a relationship is a skill that is learnt like any other skill. And don't ever dismiss nerds, some of the best SM players I know are nerds, one of the reasons being they want to be the best, they want to excel so they study, practice and learn all they can. We have to stop agreeing. Why does the military have officer training, and businesses have manager training. There are skills that can be learned to control a situation. However, it starts with having the desire to control a situation. Dominance can be light touch on the tiller to micro management depending on the relationship. This is because every sub, every relationship, and every scene is different. A one size fits all dominance only works in movies and books. The dominance has to be right for the submissive, and the submission has to be right for the Dom. My own view is that any dominant who does not question their desires and assumes control as a right is potentially dangerous. However, some submissives respond to that stereotypical James Bond type of dominance, so it's horses for courses. I would recommend two books. The first is Anton Fulmen's The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Consensual Dominance. This is on Kindle and I found it helpful when I started. The second is Dominik McMaster's Domly Dom Manual, it is hard copy only. I read it last year, it is a fun read and comprehensive. Good Luck" If you don't want to read a book, or listen to a podcast the best primer on D/S is Stjepan Sejic's graphic novel "Sunstone" | |||
