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Couples advice, how to take the plunge..
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Hi guys, my partner and I are both interested in inviting others into our sexlife and have discussed the idea several times.
We are both super turned on by the idea of sharing with others and j would love to see her fucked buy another man.
Our main obstacle is at face value, the appearance of clubs don’t appear sexy, in the romantic sense neither does the idea of arranging a meet and lack of spontaneity it presents.
I would love to hear of your experiences and welcome any advice x |
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"Hi guys, my partner and I are both interested in inviting others into our sexlife and have discussed the idea several times.
We are both super turned on by the idea of sharing with others and j would love to see her fucked buy another man.
Our main obstacle is at face value, the appearance of clubs don’t appear sexy, in the romantic sense neither does the idea of arranging a meet and lack of spontaneity it presents.
I would love to hear of your experiences and welcome any advice x "
romance and spontaneity aren't easily found in swinging. You need a slightly pragmatic approach with regards to having condoms available, a location and a discussion of boundaries.
Good luck |
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Clubs definitely aren't romantic, they're a lot of fun though. Personally we stay in a hotel by a river for romance, just the two of us. Our advice would be to make sure she'd like to do the things you'd like to see before you take the plunge. |
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Personally we find clubs have a sexual energy driven by the people that are there. Check out the club reviews and maybe go to one with no intention of having sex with other people and just enjoy yourselves and get a feel for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we find clubs have a sexual energy driven by the people that are there. Check out the club reviews and maybe go to one with no intention of having sex with other people and just enjoy yourselves and get a feel for it."
This was going to be our exact suggestion, when we started our first club visit to just watch and socialise and we agreed in advance we'd do nothing more than dressing down, second club visit we said we'd only play with each other. With those visits we'd met a guy we both got on well with and there was a spark between him and K, we spoke to him to arrange him being there for our third visit and that's when we had our first threesome. |
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I think the only way for you to find spontaneity is to arrange a social meet then you might want to take it further afterwards. But I'm not sure how you can make it romantic other than going back to a hotel room with candlelight and rose petals on the bed. But it still wouldn't be spontaneous as you would have already bought the candles and roses. |
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A lot of people who aren't sure if swinging is for them or who have a less keen partner think that a spontaneous meet on a night out is less daunting than arranging one before. This might be the case but having learned the hard way how important it is that all involved know the score, where the boundaries are, who plays with who,condoms etc I wouldn't recommend it.
Also the risk of regret from one or both of you is possibly higher if it wasn't prearranged. One of you could feel that they were set up or felt unable to back out.
Romance and spontaneity are great but I don't think you can get that with strangers. |
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"Hi guys, my partner and I are both interested in inviting others into our sexlife and have discussed the idea several times.
We are both super turned on by the idea of sharing with others and j would love to see her fucked buy another man.
Our main obstacle is at face value, the appearance of clubs don’t appear sexy, in the romantic sense neither does the idea of arranging a meet and lack of spontaneity it presents.
I would love to hear of your experiences and welcome any advice x "
If you're after romance, stick to monogamy. Swinging is not about romance, it's recreational sex.
Of course, if you swing regularly with one or two couples it's possible to have a close connection and that can be positive, but in the main swinging works for most precisely because there's no romantic attachment.
It's about enjoying sex with other people, pure and simple.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% go to a club. Go with the plan of just playing with each other but be open to whatever happens. Works for us and has resulted in all kinds of fun. Plus has the benefit of very little arrangement. Just turn up and let the night pan out. M |
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Maybe creating a couple profile may help as it will allow you both to explore from the safety and comforts of your living room with zero expectations. We joined during lockdown so we’re able to discover our boundaries and likes and dislikes which is key.
Then if and once you’re both on the same page maybe attention a group social in your area to hear others experiences and further shape yours. But go at a pace which suits you both.
Good luck
Bx |
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When we went first time we just had a look round to get our bearings and had a little play with eachother
Best not to go into the first time thinking you have to do something because you are there
It’s a long process |
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There's no guarantees no matter what you do.
However there are ways to approach what you are looking for.
Clubs are pretty simple in what they offer and are as advertised. Whilst very fun when you are confident enough (and ultimetly give the same end result as what you are looking for), it's a different way of getting there.
You'd probably be much better just finding a couple and starting with a social. Have a drink and a chat with no pressure. If you hit it off it's a flirty night and either you all head off somewhere private OR you make a second date. Of not, no harm and you go your seperate ways. You're all grown ups. It's a bit like having a first date in some respects.
Point is, until you try, you won't know. We started with (and still very much enjoy) the social approach. There's an air of mystique and discovery about it and not knowing how it will play out is part of the fun. Are we all going to click and it'll be a naughty time or is it just going to be a freindly chat with like minded people?
But now we are experianced sometimes we just wanna go to a club as well but that would have been a no go for us when we first started.
Whatever you choose, good luck. |
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Thank you for all, mostly, for your bountiful responses. I can honestly say the advice given is much appreciated. It’s really interesting to hear the unique take on the situation .
I must say the concept of arranging no strings socials and seeing if there is a connection of quite exciting.
Thanks for sharing x |
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