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Threesomes and STI tests
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By *ande22 OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
Hi,
We have searched, but can't find anything specifically about this so was hoping for some more wonderful advice.
This feels slightly awkward to ask, but what is the etiquette with asking a potential playmate about their sexual health? Is it the done thing to ask them to provide recent STI test results before meeting (obviously more for planned meets, not at a club night)?
We were both tested when we first got together, so know we're both clean - but are slightly concerned about the risks of catching something from someone else, and don't want that to put a dampner on things! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If that is something that concerns you them it's your right to ask any potential meet.
If they disagree then they loose out. Simple "
I agreed to take a STI test before meeting for a mmf.. it was reassuring for everyone, demonstrated that I was committed and we had a few very good meets as a result. |
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"If that is something that concerns you them it's your right to ask any potential meet.
If they disagree then they loose out. Simple
I agreed to take a STI test before meeting for a mmf.. it was reassuring for everyone, demonstrated that I was committed and we had a few very good meets as a result."
Did they do the same? |
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Recent STI results are only accurate if people have waited the right amount of time to be tested since they last had sex, and then not had sex since they were tested. Active folk on the scene are unlikely to have taken a fortnight/month out for testing and results.
Best you can do is try get a measure of a person from their profile/chatting to see whether you think they’re a cautious person in regards to protection with others and use protection during your meet.
If you’re going to choose to have sex with someone who has sex with others who have sex with others then there’ll always be some element of risk.
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Its your risk to own, so you do what you need t do to stay safe.
There is no harm asking when people were last tested, or to see their last results just be aware that it can be easy to fake some results.
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"Recent STI results are only accurate if people have waited the right amount of time to be tested since they last had sex, and then not had sex since they were tested. Active folk on the scene are unlikely to have taken a fortnight/month out for testing and results.
Best you can do is try get a measure of a person from their profile/chatting to see whether you think they’re a cautious person in regards to protection with others and use protection during your meet.
If you’re going to choose to have sex with someone who has sex with others who have sex with others then there’ll always be some element of risk.
"
agreed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Assume they have an STI. A clear test proves nothing. People lie to get a fuck.
I wouldn't get a test just to fuck someone.
Condoms don't 100% prevent STI's or pregnancy. |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Assume they have an STI. A clear test proves nothing. People lie to get a fuck.
I wouldn't get a test just to fuck someone.
Condoms don't 100% prevent STI's or pregnancy. "
This plus some Sti are not tested for like herpes and hpv |
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I would say just be frank and ask people if you want to ask them. People will be perfectly happy to be asked and may help empower them to ask you guys about your sexual health in return. It's a perfectly OK thing to ask on the scene, not taboo or rude at all. Likewise if you come across anyone who is upset to be asked or shady about it that would be a red flag.
To be honest it's really a case of risk assessment and the level of risk your happy with. And without asking for documentation you'll never know anyway your being told the truth (plus could be faked). We assume that anyone we meet (95% in the club environment) has the decency not to go out knowing they have an STI. Personally we dont go about asking people if they've been test. We only do penetrative with others with a condom. Mrs Receiving or Mr giving. Yes it's not 100%, what is apart from don't. But it's the level of safety we are happy with and most on the scene are too. But it's up to you guys to set your own safety standards. If you want to see certification or have a verbal understanding that's your boundary to set. |
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Swingers generally have very good STI health checking programmes but we each need to decide on our own practices for implementation. It's reasonable to show text results confirmation. Ask for what you'd like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you have every rights to ask if it ofends them then thats their problem not yours you have to look after yourselves no matter how you play..
we know bareback couples who only play with other bareback couples with test results ...
also bare in mind alot of safe sex people never get tested so you still wont know if they are std free ... |
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I would say though that if you asked me for recent sti test results i would want you to provide the same. I wouldn't be happy with one from when you got together and you telling me you know you're clear. |
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By *ande22 OP Couple
over a year ago
London |
Thanks for all the replies - some good points that we hadn't considered.
If we do ask someone to show a recent test, we would of course be happy to provide the same in return - just not looking forward to the finger pin pricks  |
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Guys (or girls) on PrEP get tested for everything every three months on NHS. Also offered Hep jabs too.
You are sent an 'all clear' text, is really not a big deal.
Only know every 3 months per test time your sti status but most reading this don't get tested at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,
We have searched, but can't find anything specifically about this so was hoping for some more wonderful advice.
This feels slightly awkward to ask, but what is the etiquette with asking a potential playmate about their sexual health? Is it the done thing to ask them to provide recent STI test results before meeting (obviously more for planned meets, not at a club night)?
We were both tested when we first got together, so know we're both clean - but are slightly concerned about the risks of catching something from someone else, and don't want that to put a dampner on things!"
Whether you tested when you got together means nothing. Its only fair you show uptodate test results to the 3rd party just as you expect the same from them. |
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"Guys (or girls) on PrEP get tested for everything every three months on NHS. Also offered Hep jabs too.
You are sent an 'all clear' text, is really not a big deal.
Only know every 3 months per test time your sti status but most reading this don't get tested at all. "
What is 'everything'? Does that include herpes, HPV etc? Also it's not just people on PrEP who get offered hep vaccinations.
How can you say that 'most don't get tested at all'? Do you know if/when I was last tested? What about the others who have commented on this thread? Do you know their test status too?
Ms x |
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It's not at all uncommon for people to demand a recent test before meeting, so it's nothing to feel awkward or embarrassed about!
Quite frankly although theres no guarantees it's sensible to do. Whilst far fro foolproof, it not only offers you some protection, but also maintaining your own testing schedule is the socialy responsibile thing to do.
It also will exclude by default a lot of the people you probably wouldn't be comfortable meeting anyway.
Quite frankly at the risk of sounding jaded... You are a young attractive couple, who will be inundated with emails and offers. You will be able to pick and choose your meets, virtually at will.
The more narrow and rigorous your criteria are the less time you will waste filtering and screening offers from people you wouldn't be comfortable meeting anyway. 
Good luck, have fun, and keep safe xx |
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By *jayjMan
over a year ago
Farringdon, Central London |
"It's not at all uncommon for people to demand a recent test before meeting, so it's nothing to feel awkward or embarrassed about!
Quite frankly although theres no guarantees it's sensible to do. Whilst far fro foolproof, it not only offers you some protection, but also maintaining your own testing schedule is the socialy responsibile thing to do.
It also will exclude by default a lot of the people you probably wouldn't be comfortable meeting anyway.
Quite frankly at the risk of sounding jaded... You are a young attractive couple, who will be inundated with emails and offers. You will be able to pick and choose your meets, virtually at will.
The more narrow and rigorous your criteria are the less time you will waste filtering and screening offers from people you wouldn't be comfortable meeting anyway.
Good luck, have fun, and keep safe xx"
This and much of the posts in this thread are sound advice. Stay safe and happy fabbing! |
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"Hi,
We have searched, but can't find anything specifically about this so was hoping for some more wonderful advice.
This feels slightly awkward to ask, but what is the etiquette with asking a potential playmate about their sexual health? Is it the done thing to ask them to provide recent STI test results before meeting (obviously more for planned meets, not at a club night)?
We were both tested when we first got together, so know we're both clean - but are slightly concerned about the risks of catching something from someone else, and don't want that to put a dampner on things!"
Use it as a measure for how genuine your potential friend is. Then take a good look at their verifications if they point blank refuse |
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"Guys (or girls) on PrEP get tested for everything every three months on NHS. Also offered Hep jabs too.
You are sent an 'all clear' text, is really not a big deal.
Only know every 3 months per test time your sti status but most reading this don't get tested at all.
What is 'everything'? Does that include herpes, HPV etc? Also it's not just people on PrEP who get offered hep vaccinations.
How can you say that 'most don't get tested at all'? Do you know if/when I was last tested? What about the others who have commented on this thread? Do you know their test status too?
Ms x"
I got Hep vaccinated as a result of just having a routine screen at my local clinic. It’s no biggy, just two jabs a year apart, and another ‘peace of mind’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you do realise a sti test doesnt always mean your “clean” hate that saying haha things like herpes/hep etc could be passed on and you test neg/no symptoms too |
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