FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > my wife and another guy
my wife and another guy
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
Show her your profile |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
Tell her that you’re trying to meet other women and couples so she might as well fuck other men.
I’m sure she’ll do it then but might not let you watch. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Get a trades person to come around that’s up for a bit of flirting maybe she would enjoy that and then take him up stairs for some fun or just be honest that you’re fantasy is to watch her being fucked by another bloke while you watch but start slowly mate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago
Z'ha'dum |
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
For a reasonable sum of cake, I can bring this up with her next time I see her if you want? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
My advice would be to approach it when she’s in the mood, maybe a drink or two. I suggested a threesome at first to my partner and slowly over time it gave her to think about after initially saying she wasn’t interested. A couple of weekends ago, I brought it up again but told her I wanted to see her with another guy and she’s now open to it and admitted it turned her on thinking about it!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you genuinely don't know how to approach a partner about things like this I'd say you're not ready for it as a couple. Unless you can communicate in whatever way suits you both then it's not going to work.
Talk to your partner or if you find that difficult write it down and ask her to write her fantasies down too. Also you could Google mojo upgrade and both do that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Get a trades person to come around that’s up for a bit of flirting maybe she would enjoy that and then take him up stairs for some fun or just be honest that you’re fantasy is to watch her being fucked by another bloke while you watch but start slowly mate "
This is me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Do you watch porn together if so put in a wife watching film
There was an episode of Cheaters where the guy gets a rounded catching his wife with another man, accidentally turned the tv on & it be playing etc
Or just talk to her, the basics of swinging is good communication and if you can't get over that first hurdle it's unlikely swinging is for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Also I'd maybe delete the current profile
If I was just getting into this with my husband and I found out he'd already been on here, even if it was just for research purposes without my knowledge the trust would be broken and nothing further would have happened & possibly our marriage would have ended, trust and communication is paramount, you need to be on this journey together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Hi op
Have an open and honest talk to her ,you know your wife more than any of us ever will.
Ask her if this is something that appeals to her or what experiences she wants.You say you'd like to see her with a man or woman,has she given any indication she's bi or bi curious at all?.
Please don't try and arrange anything behind her back ,as that's how the last paragraph of your profile reads to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you."
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I had a dream about my wife giving another man a blow job (true story!). It really turned me on but when I told her about it she wasnt interested at all! Then at a club she was playing with another female and she asked if she would wank her husband off. She said not but told me about it afterwards and I said it would have turned me on if she did! Since then weve talked about it, role played it loads of times and now we cant wait to try a mfm! Its defo become her fantasy now as well as mine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also I'd maybe delete the current profile
If I was just getting into this with my husband and I found out he'd already been on here, even if it was just for research purposes without my knowledge the trust would be broken and nothing further would have happened & possibly our marriage would have ended, trust and communication is paramount, you need to be on this journey together "
This is sound advise.
There’s documentaries on swinging. Put one on, watch it together and then ask her if it appeals to her? If she says no, you’re no worse off than now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also I'd maybe delete the current profile
If I was just getting into this with my husband and I found out he'd already been on here, even if it was just for research purposes without my knowledge the trust would be broken and nothing further would have happened & possibly our marriage would have ended, trust and communication is paramount, you need to be on this journey together
This is sound advise.
There’s documentaries on swinging. Put one on, watch it together and then ask her if it appeals to her? If she says no, you’re no worse off than now."
A good cover is to say that someone was talking about it at work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also I'd maybe delete the current profile
If I was just getting into this with my husband and I found out he'd already been on here, even if it was just for research purposes without my knowledge the trust would be broken and nothing further would have happened & possibly our marriage would have ended, trust and communication is paramount, you need to be on this journey together "
Perfect reply - nailed it right there! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JstarsoloWoman
over a year ago
Wombwell, Barnsley |
Totally agree with this. The swinging lifestyle requires good communication and trust.
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi OP
We started by talking during foreplay, Mr asked if I had fantasies and I answered. I then asked him and he said he would like to see me with another man. That was a lo g time ago now and we have played a lot since then starting off with voyeurs then slowly letting them join with touching and then right up to full sex. We found starting by talking during foreplay was good for us but we are both very sexual so a lot depends on how sexual you both are.
Good luck either way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?"
I suggest watch subject porn with her for start. You should be confident to talk to her about it (if you are not - no chance). On the talk try to explore her opinion in general about the scene and move from there. Don’t rush, it would take time. Plant a seed in her mind and let it grow |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We talked about it as a fantasy during foreplay. We talked about it quite a lot until I felt pretty sure she was actually interested in it. We decided to try chams in Darlaston for a laugh and she loved having me watch her with another man. Even she was surprised how much she enjoyed it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you."
And there you have it.
If your idea of the lifestyle is to join FAB solo, try to meet people by yourself and then ask strangers for ideas to talk your wife into it. You're just not a good person.
And. You've just advertised to the whole site that you're dishonest and a poor partner. Neither of which is a desirable trait in a playmate.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you.
And there you have it.
If your idea of the lifestyle is to join FAB solo, try to meet people by yourself and then ask strangers for ideas to talk your wife into it. You're just not a good person.
And. You've just advertised to the whole site that you're dishonest and a poor partner. Neither of which is a desirable trait in a playmate.
"
Just to be clear, if your profile was clear about not meeting, and just understanding the lifestyle, this answer would have been very different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Why don't you just talk to her about it? I remember bringing up the subject. We went to a club. Mrs was a bit shy at first but really got into the swing of things (pun intended). I was surprised as I thought it would either never happen or be a one off.
We are still new to it all and enjoy soft play and Mrs likes the voyeur aspect too. Since then we've been out about every 4-6 weeks. Yes, it might be a difficult conversation in the first instance but far better than going behind your partners back. Raise the question; "pillow talk" if that's best and gauge her reaction but if she gets on board even just to try it you'll be much better off sharing the experience with her than on your own. NO guilt or cheating on her and worse case you raised it and it was a no. Not sure you can only have one in the relationship that "swings" without both being aware; that's not really swinging imho. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jay did research into swinging before bringing it up. Once he was sure it was something he would like us to try we then discussed it with each other.
You'll know your wife better than any of us. Maybe suggest an MFM first? You need to bring it up to make it clear you want to try it for the both of you and not just so you can bang other women.
Swinging is something you both do together and it's not fair on either of you to do it unless you're both squared away in your heads about the realities of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you."
Exactly. Clearly cheating, will be hard to get the trust. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
How about talking to her about it?
A good relationship thrives on communication and though you say that she doesn't have fantasies how do you really know?
Until something is aired and becomes an open topic it remains a repressed subject. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do I bring up the discussion with my wife that I fantasies about watching her have sex with another guy, she doesn't really have fantasies or anything like that?
I'm going to be blunt, unfortunately.
Swinging requires a strong relationship, communication and trust.
The fact that you're on here without your wifes knowledge and are asking others for advice about how to communicate with her, makes it abundantly clear this lifestyle is not for you."
100% this |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
